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If We Could Only See by Duckchick
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If We Could Only See

Duckchick

Normal Raquel Dodd 2 6 2003-05-12T02:15:00Z 2003-05-12T02:15:00Z 1 4219 24050 200 56 28213 10.2625 Clean Clean MicrosoftInternetExplorer4

Chapter 3

Halloween arrived on a chill and stormy morning. Heavy raindrops pelted the roof, making Herbology impossible. The class was cancelled and the girls found themselves with a free hour to do as they pleased. They couldn't hang out together in one of their dorm rooms, as it was forbidden to reveal the passwords to anyone outside your House, so they elected to go to the library and study. On the way, they passed Ron, Harry, and Cho Chang. Harry and Cho were holding hands. Ginny turned a bit pale, but was able to smile and wave at them. Susan was able to stop herself from flinging her books at Harry's head.

"Numbskull!" she hissed after they passed. Ginny sighed dramatically.

"Susan, if you can't keep from getting violent every time we see Harry and Cho, I'm going to have to muzzle you!"

"Oh yes?" Susan grinned. "You just try it, Weasley, and see if you don't find yourself getting muzzled!"

"A muzzled Weasley, now there's a pleasant thought!" a cold voice spoke from behind them. The girls whirled around to find Draco Malfoy, flanked by Crabbe and Goyle, sneering at them.

Susan frowned. "Mind your own business, Malfoy! Or is barging into other people's conversations the only way you get attention?"

"Stuff it, Dresh!" he snapped, turning to face Ginny directly. "My, my, it seems little Ginny got kicked where she lives! How does it feel? Imagine, finding out you're not even second best in the eyes of your hero!"

Malfoy took a moment to memorize the look on Weasley's face. Her eyes went wide, and a ripple of pain crossed her features. How does it feel when someone talks down to you like you're trash? Does it feel like a thousand needles in your soul? I hope it does!

Draco had never been good at recognizing his own hypocrisy

Susan suddenly gripped her books as if to throw them at Draco's sneering face. "Go away Malfoy, before I call Madam Pince!"

They were right outside the library doors, so Susan's threat held some validity. But Draco wasn't finished yet, oh no!

"Call off your dog, Weasley. She has an obnoxious bark."

"Why you…dirty little...!" Susan sputtered. "This is about that incident in the storeroom, isn't it?"

Draco's eyes flew to Susan, his pointy face suddenly sharpening with fury. She knew!

Ginny placed a restraining hand on Susan's shoulder, realizing that her friend's imprudence was only going to prolong this. "I have no time for your pettiness, Malfoy. You aren't worth a dog's attention, much less my own or Susan's."

She turned to go, dragging Susan by the elbow. Draco's fury boiled over. "At least I don't have to walk through life being second fiddle to some other bint!"

Direct hit! Ginny snapped back around towards him, her face momentarily revealing all of the pain she'd been holding inside. But it was soon replaced by a cold fury.

"Malfoy, you are a low, half witted, brain dead fool! If you had half of Harry's character, you wouldn't be second to him in everything!"

This was not turning out the way Draco had wanted it to. Half witted? Brain dead? Weasley was supposed to be paralyzed with shame or sorrow or something! He had not counted on this…this dragon with a forked tongue! Harry was the chink in her armor and she was supposed to crumble, damnit!

"I have more character than that scarred idiot ever will!" he hissed, beginning to tremble.

Ginny, on the other hand, suddenly calmed. Her gaze once again met his directly, its steady strength piercing him to the core.

"Why do you always feel that you have to beat everyone down in order to be on top?" she asked quietly. Draco reeled at her words.

"What? What are you talking about?" he snapped, feeling his heart twist suddenly.

"Maybe if you, for once, stopped posturing like a rooster, you might actually find a reason to smile!" she continued, her eyes suddenly enormous. Draco stared, swinging between fury and confusion.

"She's right, you know," Susan piped, "What has being nasty ever gotten you?"

"Stay out of this, you stupid hag!" Draco roared.

Both Ginny and Susan were almost blown backwards by the volume of this outburst. Madam Pince suddenly appeared, looking around at the lot of them.

"What's going on here? Who yelled?"

But before anyone could answer, an explosion tore through the west end of the hall.

Everyone turned in shock. Ginny felt her heart thundering in her breast. What on earth? Thick, white smoke billowed from the far end of the corridor. It smelled strangely sweet, like burnt cookies.

Ginny grabbed Susan's elbow, just to hold on to something. Madam Pince was now racing down the corridor, directing the students coming out of other classrooms to stay put. Several other teachers came out to join her, Professor McGonagall one of them. She turned in the direction of the students at the library door. There was a fair crowd there by now.

"Inside the library, all of you!" she snapped. "Stay there until you're given leave to return to your dormitories!"

Ginny grabbed Susan's elbow and pulled her slowly inside the door. Everyone retreated slowly, unsure of what they'd see yet not wanting to miss anything. Ginny was staring so intently towards the scene of the explosion that she bumped into the person in front of her.

"Excuse me!" she said absently, not turning until she was completely inside the library door. Draco stood beside her, glaring but obviously distracted.

"Weasley, my shoes cost more than your whole wardrobe, kindly watch where you're going!"

Ginny gave a disgusted snort as Draco stalked away. Crabbe and Goyle were already seated at a table, looking confused (which was hardly unusual) and began whispering rapidly to Draco as he joined them. Malfoy scowled and shook his head vehemently. Crabbe spoke again, his expression almost angry. Ginny stared, wondering what on earth could possibly make Crabbe look so…rebellious. But Malfoy rose half out of his chair and spoke angrily, gesturing at Crabbe emphatically. Ginny caught snatches of his words.

"…hasn't told me…can't move yet…mind your own business! And stop acting like…!"

"Ginny?" a voice beside her made her jump. It was Susan, looking curiously from her to Draco's table. "What's going on?"

"I don't know," Ginny replied. "Let's go find a table."

They walked silently to the back of the library, flinging their books upon an empty table. Ginny tried to comprehend what she'd witnessed. An explosion in the school. She fervently hoped no one had been hurt, and just as fervently hoped it had been an accident. If it hadn't…if it had been deliberately set…her eyes flew to Malfoy's table. He was sitting with a book open in front of him, but he wasn't reading it. He was staring angrily off into space. Crabbe and Goyle were now recovered from whatever had excited their interest, and were idly making paper planes and throwing them at the heads of other students. Draco tossed a disgusted look at them.

He wasn't happy, so perhaps Voldemort wasn't behind the incident. She shivered as her thoughts turned to Harry and her brother. The Dark Lord had not made a move in the last few months, but that didn't mean he wasn't waiting for the right moment to strike. And something like this was sure to draw Harry, Ron, and Hermione right into his path. They never could let others handle things. But then again, it was a good thing they couldn't, as she herself wouldn't be alive today if the three of them hadn't gone investigating on their own. Ironically, it was they that had cleared Draco of any involvement in the opening of the Chamber of Secrets.

She froze, struck by that thought. Yes, Draco had been cleared because he wasn't told what was going on. Could the same thing be happening now?

Ginny looked over at Draco's table again. Crabbe and Goyle were giggling stupidly as Justin Finch-Fletchley pulled a spit ball out of his hair. I guess paper airplanes got boring, she thought wryly. Draco was rolling his eyes and shaking his head in disgust. He turned towards her then and their eyes met.

Draco stiffened, a scowl erupting on his face. Ginny blushed at having been caught, but refused to look away and composed her features into what she hoped was an icy expression. She was gratified to see his own cheeks turn suddenly red, but he also continued to stare.

Ginny had never engaged in a contest of wills before, and she felt her heart begin to beat fast as she wondered what the hell she was supposed to do. The thought of being the first one to look away was unacceptable. But they couldn't just keep staring at each other like that! Ginny began to feel confused and didn't notice that Draco's scowl was also melting away. Should I say something? She wondered. How do I get out of this?

His eyes are pretty, she thought. Then she got angry with herself, but it was true. Gray they were, like clouds full of rain, and fairly large in his thin face. For the first time she noticed shadows beneath them, as if he hadn't been resting well. A part of her mind idly wondered why. Slytherin parties, or was he capable of having nightmares? Vicious dreams of shadows reaching for him, cold laughter echoing around him, until he welcomed the dawn and the chance to leap out of bed?

She didn't know her expression had softened and that her eyes were once again radiating that steady strength that truly characterized her soul. She only knew that for the first time she was looking at him without anger in her heart and the thought occurred to her that he just might be human inside.

"Ginny?" Susan's voice suddenly sliced through her reverie. She gasped and whirled around so fast she nearly wrenched her neck.

Susan started herself. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. You were a million miles away; I've been talking to myself for ten minutes!"

Ginny rubbed the back of her neck, trying not to look embarrassed. "I'm sorry Susan, I was just…worried about Ron."

"Oh! Do you think he was down the west wing? But we saw him and Harry walking outside, remember?" Susan frowned, looking over in the direction of Draco's table. "What were you staring at?"

"Nothing," Ginny said quickly, trying to think of something to distract her friend. "What History of Magic homework did we have?"

Susan's frowned deepened as she turned back to Ginny. "We had a quiz, remember?"

"Oh, that's right!" Ginny laughed nervously. Her eyes flew to Draco, and to her relief she saw that he was hunched down in his chair, holding his book in front of his face. She turned back and stared at the ground, trying to will her heart to stop pounding. What had come over her?

"Well, are you going to tell me what you were staring at?" Susan persisted, suddenly irritating her friend.

"Nothing Susan, I said I was worried about Ron!"

"Sorry!" Susan raised her hands in supplication. "I meant no offense, I beg forgiveness!"

Ginny laughed. "Oh, stop. I'm the one who's sorry. I didn't mean to snap, I'm just scared. I hope no one was in whatever room exploded."

"I do too." Susan tossed her blond hair, her face puckering in a frown again. "Seamus should be in Potions right now. He's safe!"

"Oh Susan, I forgot! I'm sure he's safe!" Ginny hugged her friend tightly. "Let's just hope that room was empty!"

Susan hugged her back, nodding. "It'll be all right. It was an accident, I'm sure. What else could have caused it?"

Neither girl would voice their fear. Ginny straightened and noticed the teachers filing back in to the library, Professor Dumbledore with them.

"Your attention please!" came the voice of the headmaster. The students went quiet immediately as he gestured for silence.

"I have good news and bad news," he said gravely. "The good news is that the accident took place in a storage room, so no one was hurt!"

The room stirred with relieved murmuring, and the Headmaster once again gestured for silence. Ginny suddenly noticed Snape enter and whisper to Professor Dumbledore, who nodded before turning back to the students.

"The bad news is that the Halloween feast will have to be cancelled."

"What?" Susan gasped. All around similar outbursts were taking place, especially among the first and second years. One young girl burst into tears. "I spent ages on my costume!" she sobbed.

"Students, please!" Dumbledore called for silence again, and the rumbling stopped. "This is for your own safety! Professor McGonagall, Professor Snape, and I will be conducting an investigation into what precisely caused the accident. That will take the whole of this day, and perhaps into the weekend. You are excused from all further classes. Please return to your common rooms for the remainder of the day. That is all."

"Well, that's that." Susan said briskly, gathering her books. "Pity about tonight though, I was looking forward to spending it with you and Seamus. Now we might be restricted until next week!"

"I'm sure we won't" Ginny replied, though she was worried. For Professor Dumbledore to restrict everyone to their common rooms meant that he had a reason for being concerned, and Ginny knew of very few things that could cause the headmaster to feel such a way.

Voldemort was one of them.

No! She thought fiercely. It's not about him. It was an accident!

But as she filed out of the library with the rest of the students, Ginny couldn't stop the little sliver of fear that worked its way into her heart.

They filed down to the staircases that led to the four common rooms. Ginny and Susan said their goodbyes, and then melted in with their respective housemates. On the way to the entrance of Gryffindor tower, Ginny spotted Ron, who rushed over to her.

"Ginny! You're all right!" He hugged her, looking pale and scared. Ginny was surprised.

"Of course I'm all right! I was worried about you, too," she replied, turning to hug Harry as well. He grinned at her, his eyes warm with brotherly affection.

"Knew you'd be ok. But you were near the library, weren't you? We thought you might have been in it!"

"We saw it. Susan and I, I mean. Madam Pince and Professor McGonagall were off the moment it happened, though. No one was hurt."

"Thank goodness!" Hermione joined them, taking Ginny's hand and squeezing it comfortingly. "Do they know what caused it?"

"Professor Dumbledore is going to investigate with McGonagall and Snape. He said it might take through the weekend."

"Snape?" Harry asked softly, causing Ginny to look at him curiously. He exchanged glances with Ron and Hermione, and then nodded slowly.

"Makes sense," Ron said, looking seriously at Harry. Hermione nodded in agreement. They all seemed to have forgotten Ginny was there.

"What makes sense?" she asked a little forcefully, making them start.

"Nothing," Harry responded. "Was Susan all right?"

Ginny suddenly wondered if he would ever dare to ignore Cho like that! "She was fine but disappointed that she won't get to see me and Seamus tonight, though. So what were you-"

"Ginny!"

She turned to find a white faced Seamus running towards her. "Ginny, you're all right! Was Susan hurt?"

She clasped his hand. "She's perfectly fine, Seamus. She sends her love."

"I was so worried!" He closed his eyes. "I heard that the two of you were near the explosion. What happened?"

Ginny felt a rush of irritation. She didn't have time for this; she wanted to speak to Harry about what he'd been talking about. "They don't know yet," she said hurridly, "They're investigating. Now if you'll excuse me-"

She turned back to talk to Harry and the others, but they were gone. She looked around the common room, leaving Seamus gawking at her. But the trio had either gone upstairs or was out where they shouldn't be.

She scowled, frustration bubbling up in her belly. She wasn't a baby, why did they continue to treat her like one? Was it too much to ask of The Fantastic Trio to trust in her? Turning on her heel, she marched up the stairs to her room and fell to brooding.

Draco sat in a corner chair of the Slytherin common room, listening to the excited chatter around him. Everyone was speculating on whether or not the explosion was a direct attack by the Dark Lord or merely an accident. The favorite theory at the moment was an attack, but some were not pleased about it.

"It's bad," said Frieda Lawson, a sixth year who was exceptionally brilliant at curses. "The Dark Lord arose almost two years ago now. But what has he done? He still hasn't reclaimed the power he once had, and his allies are deserting him faster than rats upon a sinking ship! They don't want to be beholden to him again. And why should they? Why should anyone? We work hard to raise our fortunes, to spread our power. Why should he reap all of the benefits, when he doesn't contribute?"

"Because he holds more knowledge of the dark arts than anyone living!" snarled Mordred Bowen, a fifth year whose family could trace its lineage back to Merlin. Or so they claimed. "The Dark Lord richly rewards those who faithfully serve him, with long life, monetary wealth, and power over your enemies. He could lead us to a day when we will all be free of the Mudblood scourge."

"So he claims!" Frieda sneered. "But all that has happened so far is a lot of talk, and most of it hasn't even been from him."

"You are too young to remember, Frieda," the soft voice of Jared Stone, a burly seventh year whose accomplishments in transfiguration were second only to Hermione Granger's, snaked into the conversation. "We all are! Our parents saw his rise and fall, and we would do well to heed their words."

He suddenly turned towards Draco, his gaze narrowing. "What say you, Malfoy? Your family has always been part of the Inner Circle. Does your father share with you the secrets that he's been told?"

Draco's expression became so cold his eyes resembled chips of ice. He leaned forward, his face becoming dimly visible in the half-light of the fire. "What the Malfoys are told stays with us. We are not the trusted servants of the Dark Lord for nothing!"

Those nearest to him went silent. Draco's steely gaze bore into Stone's, causing him to look away with a nervous laugh. "Of course, that's always the way of things, isn't it?"

Draco didn't bother to reply. He merely sat back, allowing the shadows to envelope him once more. He had crushed the impudence of an inferior and he had nothing more to prove. Crabbe and Goyle were grinning, proud to be his supporters at such a moment.

After a while, the conversation resumed and the topic shifted to the cancellation of the Halloween party. Most present declared their indifference, but Draco knew they were disappointed, especially the younger students. And why not? It might be silly, but it was one way to pass the evening. Definitely better than sitting in the common room, listening to the bickering and posturing of fellow students! Draco looked over at Crabbe and Goyle, his dear friends. They were currently engaged in an arm wrestling match, their faces screwed tight with their concentrated efforts.

Friends to be proud of! They might even graduate if he helped them through their finals again.

Draco was suddenly tired. Tired of listening to this useless talk, tired of looking at the two idiots he called friends and most of all tired of sitting in the shadows looking mysterious and pretending to know more than he did. The truth was he had no idea if the explosion had been an attack. He hadn't heard anything from his father since leaving for school. And though his mother owled him every week, she was ignorant of anything that might concern Voldemort's plans. Lucius Malfoy had not married Narcissa McFain for her intelligence. And her love of gossip made her untrustworthy as a confidante.

Draco stood suddenly and walked to the stairs, heading for his room. Crabbe and Goyle started to follow, but he waved them away. He wanted to be alone; he needed to think. Climbing the stairs, he felt exhaustion creep into every limb until his legs burned with fatigue.

Once in his dorm, he threw off his robe and stripped down to his underwear, letting the chill air tingle his skin. Discomfort always cleared his head somewhat, and lately his mind had suffered many disturbances, the biggest one of all being Ginny Weasley.

He scowled as he thought of her, running a hand through his hair restlessly. She had hounded his thoughts, her cold fury a sharp sting to his pride. She had insulted and degraded him in ways he'd rarely experienced. He was constantly plotting revenge, but everything seemed to backfire. He'd thought that twisting the knife called Harry Potter into her broken heart would do it, but she'd proven stronger than that. His thoughts flew to that moment in the library. He'd seen that strength in her eyes, those enormous, beautiful brown eyes that seemed to reach across the space between them and draw him into their depths. He'd felt her strength, felt it radiate from her soul and envelope him. It had been the warmest feeling he'd ever experienced.

He stood abruptly and began tossing clothes out of his trunk, looking for his pajamas. His face tightened so badly it began to hurt, and he felt his stomach cramp. He roughly pulled on his bed clothes, tearing the delicate silk top but not caring. His mind emptied with his intense concentration on physical activity, so he grabbed his robe and swept out of his dorm. He didn't look where he was going, he just moved.

Before he knew it he found himself at the foot of the stairs to the common room, where most of his housemates still sat awake. He looked over the room and saw that most of them were seated near the fireplace. The back of the common room was deep in shadow, and there were some pieces of furniture -- like the big writing desk -- that, if necessary, he could duck behind. Moving with admirable stealth, he made it to the entrance without drawing any attention and was quickly out the door.

Once outside, Draco didn't stop to think, he just walked. His feet were bare, as he'd forgotten his slippers, but he welcomed the almost painful chill as another barrier against the insufferable thoughts in his mind. He walked with head down, almost leaning forward, hands clasped behind his back. The stone floor seemed to swim past his feet with the speed of his movement, as the light of the moon and the shadows mingled in a dizzying pattern upon it. White light, pure and innocent, like her smile…

"NO!" he jumped at the sound of his own voice.

Draco's heart thundered in his chest. Looking around, he saw that he was climbing the stairs to the Tower, the entrance only a few feet away. He frowned, wondering what had brought him here. His legs were burning with fatigue again, but he was near the top. Would it be open right now? He slowly climbed the last few steps and tried the knob. The door opened easily and he walked outside.

The tower's Lunoscopes and other observation equipment were covered in drop cloths. The ceiling stretched about five feet from the castle wall behind him, and then ended abruptly, leaving a nice large space to observe the heavens or to look out at the grounds. Draco walked to the edge of the wall and looked out at the lake, a strong wind blowing his hair back and chilling him to the bone. His feet were numb with cold and his eyes watered from the lash of the wind. But somehow this didn't seem to matter as he stared at the moon's reflected light on the water. The shadow of the Forbidden Forest loomed ominously behind the lake, and in the distance Draco heard a long, mournful howl. A werewolf? Lupin perhaps?

He smiled nastily at this, remembering how the young professor had always favored the Gryffindors, just as Snape always favored his own House. But thinking of the Gryffindors brought Ginny's image sharply into focus, and Draco whirled away from the peaceful scene below him. He never saw the large animal shape that ran from the Forest towards the Whomping Willow.

A cloud passed before the moon, throwing everything into shadow. He threw himself down, ignoring the freezing chill that climbed up his rear to his spine. Was there no escaping her? Why did she intrude on his thoughts, disturbing what little peace he had? He remembered the warmth that had pervaded his being as they'd stared each other down, and he found himself wanting to feel it again.

"Ridiculous!" he growled. She was a Weasley, a Mudblood loving tart! Quite suddenly, the memory of his first words to Ron flashed into his mind:

"Think my name's funny, do you? No need to ask who you are. My father told me all the Weasleys have red hair, freckles, and more children than they can afford!"

He blushed, but didn't know why. More children….yes, he hadn't had a Weasley free term at Hogwarts since he'd started.

But why was he thinking about this?

Lowering his head, Draco forced himself to consider the accident, if indeed it was one, and nothing else. It was quite possible that it had been completely innocent, since there had been no one near enough to get hurt. What would have been the purpose, if not to cause an injury or death? Destroying something? What was in the west wing worth destroying? He frowned. Transfiguration class, the library, the storage rooms, Filch's broom closet -- what else? And was it anything important?

Whoff!

Draco froze, his head snapping up. The noise had come from the stairs! He sat absolutely still, straining his ears for the slightest sound.

Whuff, snuff, snuff! Snort!

It sounded like an animal. Draco looked wildly around. What would an animal be doing in the castle? There were only the owls and the pets of students - cats and toads. But this sounded like…a dog!

Snuff, whuff!

Draco didn't wait any longer. He gathered his numb legs and feet under him, ignoring the cramping pain, and crawled as quietly as he could behind the largest telescope, just as the door eased open.

As carefully as he could, Draco peeked out from behind the telescope as an enormous, black shape padded in. It had its head to the ground, sniffing deeply and growling softly. Draco felt his heart pound as the creature began to sniff a trail towards the wall -- to the very spot where he'd been sitting!

Trying to stay calm, Draco tensed his body to run if he were spotted. He had severe doubts as to whether he'd get away, however. Is it a dog? He thought fearfully. Somehow he didn't think so, though it resembled one. It was thin through the flanks like a dog, and its snout was long and pointed. Suddenly the clouds that had been building parted, and in the light of the moon Draco saw the beast clearly.

A werewolf!

His heart thundered, and fear suddenly threatened to choke him. The werewolf was hunched over the spot where he'd been sitting, sniffing carefully and its growls becoming louder. He had to run, escape! But the strength suddenly left his legs and he was paralyzed with fear. The creature's head snapped up suddenly, causing Draco to gasp audibly.

GrrrrrRAAFF!!!

He had been spotted! The werewolf's eyes bored into his, and Draco knew he was trapped.