AN - Alright folks, this chapter could be controversial for some. I want to remind everyone that this is for the sake of the plot line. I am not doing this because I hate certain people or still carry a grudge from HBP. This is purely because I need this to happen, okay!? So don't flame me. I hope you like where I am going, because I have high hopes for all of this.
Thank you all for your reviews. I have never before been so encouraged to write! The reviews are so kind and nice to read. They are truly making my day every time I read them. Thank you soooo much for that!!!
Thank you again, Teri, for all you do in this story. You suggest so much, you push me in the right direction, and I am so glad that I have you helping me. I can't say it enough. (Psst, her story is better than mine! *Points at "Heirs of Hogwarts"* Go read it!!!)
Alright, on with the story!
Chapter Nine: Too Much To Take.
Harry and Hermione apparated into the foyer of the hospital with a loud crack. The white walls immediately made Harry blink; the difference between inside and bright daylight was astonishing. He tried to steel himself for whatever was going to come, whatever horrible thing awaited him when he went into Ginny's room. He knew it wasn't going to be good, but he hoped that whatever it was, she could pull through it.
"Oh Harry! What about my parents?" Hermione asked.
Harry had forgotten about them. "Apparate back and tell them what happened. It will only take a moment. I'll find what room Ginny is in," Harry said, thinking calmly.
"Of course, I'll be right back." She apparated away and Harry walked up to the front desk. The woman at the counter was reading a magazine, twirling her hair while smacking gum in her mouth. It was rather annoying, and Harry cleared his throat when he finally had waited long enough for her attention.
"Oh, yes, sir?" She asked tonelessly.
"Where can I find Ginevra Weasley?" Harry asked, trying to keep his cool. It was difficult under the present situation, but apparently some of his tone seeped through his voice. Or maybe it was the pitch black robes that he was wearing. In a quick mental inventory check, he went through all the things on his person. Wand, gun, extra wand, and of course the extra pack on his belt carrying all the specialized equipment.
"Uhh, she is going to be on the fourth floor. Spell damage, room 2b," the blond haired witch answered. While she was saying that, a crack sounded and Hermione walked up behind Harry.
"Thank you, ma'am." Harry said, still retaining politeness. He knew that Hermione was right on his heels as he turned and headed up the lift.
"What did they say? Were they worried?" Harry asked when they were alone.
"Yeah, they were worried, and scared. But I explained really quick, and I enhanced some of the wards around the Burrow. I know it is still crawling with Aurors, but I wanted to make sure. They are totally defenseless against wizards," she said calmly. Hermione was taking this all very well.
"Okay, good. They'll be fine I am sure," Harry said, pulling her into a hug. Even though she was handling it well, he still wanted to be there for her if she needed it. It was in Harry's nature.
The lift stopped, and they stepped out and sought out Room 2b as quickly as they could. As Harry reached out for the door handle, he mentally prepared himself for the worst. The door clicked open softly, and Harry was greeted by the whole Weasley family staring back at him. Some of them had tears in their eyes, including many of the males. Unashamed tears sparkled in most of theirs, and Harry couldn't blame them.
"How is she?" Harry asked quietly, as Hermione closed the door behind both of them.
"Not very well, thanks. Harry, come here," Ginny rasped from the bed. She was conscious, but Harry could tell that she was hanging on by only a thread. A sixteen year old girl having to struggle for her life. The mere fact of it all tore Harry up inside.
He walked up to the bedside and knelt down next to her. "Thank you for what you did, Ginny. You saved my life," Harry said simply. His own tears started to form.
"Well, even hero boy needed someone for once," she said, smiling thinly. "But I wanted to say that I don't want you to feel guilty for this. I made a choice just now. It was mine to make so don't you dare take that away from me. I love you like a brother, and I always will." Her voice got weaker as she went on, and Harry knew that time was closing in on her. "Kill that bastard for me, will you?" She asked, her voice quavering.
Harry couldn't find anything else to say, so he didn't say anything. He blinked for a moment, and nodded. She smiled back at him.
"You've got yourself a good one, Hermione. Take care of him," she said, now the tears coming to her eyes.
"The pain is terrible," she continued with a small sob. It made her whole frail body shake. "I love you all, and please don't mourn forever." It almost seemed that Ginny was giving up and letting herself die, but Harry knew the truth. She had been holding on till she could see him. She had been holding on till she could let him know that he needn't feel guilty. Harry now realized this.
He bent down slowly and kissed her forehead. "It's okay, Ginny," he said, smiling down at her. And when she smiled back for the last time, he watched as the life finally faded from her face. Her eyes fluttered closed and her breathing ceased.
Harry closed his eyes and let the tears squeeze from between his eyelids. He knew that they would come but he tried in vein to hold them back. He could hear the whole Weasley family start to cry. Mrs. Weasley's sobs were the most pronounced. Her wailing was breaking Harry's heart all over again. It was absolutely horrible to hear the noises of absolute sorrow coming from the family. Mr. Weasley was just as emotional as his wife. Such a calm man, so collected, and here he was destroyed over what had happened. The twins were no exception either. The tears flowed freely down their faces, but they were silent about it. A severe anger was running through them at the same time. Harry knew the look. It was the same look that they had given him at the shop. They were laying this on Harry once more. They were all comforting one another while their own pain was unbearable. He knew that it wasn't a time for him to be here. They needed one another, not Harry. So he slipped out the door quietly, and into the waiting area at the end of the hall. Once he was there, he laid his head in his hands and let the tears fall. It wasn't tears of guilt, it was just tears of sadness. The waves of guilt that he had expected never came. She had done what she had to. And that was the last thing she asked. In her own way, she had contributed to the war as best she knew how. And she had done a great thing. The love that she had shown him was immense, and uncomprehendable. She had given the final sacrifice for Harry. How was he going to handle this? How could he take this?
It was simple. He had to kill him. He had to do the thing that everyone was asking of him. Tom Marvolo Riddle had to die; his reign of terror had to be obliterated. It was time enough for this war to end. Harry had the power to do it, and he had to. There were people counting on him, and even though it felt like the weight of the world was on his shoulders, he knew that he was ready for it. It was time for him to take the full burden up. When Harry rose from his chair there was an ethereal blue glow around his whole body. His eyes were consumed by it, and he was immersed in it. So overcome by the love that he was feeling from others, and the love that he was feeling for others that he didn't notice the difference. But Hermione did when she walked in the room.
"Harry?" She asked.
Whatever had happened seemed to go away the moment that she broke his silent vigil.
"Yeah?" He asked curiously. She shook her head, and seemed to pass on the thought for another time.
"Are you okay?" She asked, and he nodded his head somewhat.
"I'm fine, but I have been better. I don't feel guilty, I just feel sad." He opened up his arms, and Hermione immediately took refuge in them.
"I already miss her," Hermione said, and started to cry. Harry wrapped his arms tighter and started to make little patterns on her back hoping to calm her slightly.
"I do, too, `Mione," Harry agreed. It was going to be hard without the vivacious red head around. He leaned his head down atop hers and added his shaking sobs to hers. Part of it was hard for Harry because he didn't want to believe it could happen. He didn't want to believe that he could lose people that close to him. The Weasley's had always seemed invincible; no one could hurt them. But then again, it had started with Bill; he had been hurt that night at Hogwarts, Ginny just happened to be next on the list. It was horrible, and Harry felt empty inside knowing that one of the people that had been there at the beginning of his life wasn't there anymore. Ginny had been there that first day at King's Cross. She had been there. Life just didn't seem right without her.
"Hey, guys," a raspy voice sounded from the doorway. Harry and Hermione looked around to find Ron standing there, his eyes extremely bloodshot. He looked like hell, but what else was to be expected? His sister had just been killed in cold blood, before his eyes.
"Ron, I am…." Harry started, stepping away from Hermione, but Ron cut him off.
He stepped in front of Harry and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. For a moment, Harry thought that Ron would hit him.
"Don't even say it," he growled. "She died for you. For our cause," he said in a dangerous tone. "Now we are going to get down to business and finish this war. We are going to end this. I have had enough. My sister is in there dead because he has risen too far too fast. It's time this is over." Ron now had more tears forming in his eyes. "So you listen to me, Harry bloody Potter, don't you dare get your head up your arse about this, we are going to do this together. And we are going to do it now." Ron loosened his grip. "If not for us, then for Ginny." He finished, and let go entirely. It seemed that Harry was his support and once he let go, he collapsed and his best friend had no choice but to wrap him in a hug and let him cry.
"I promise, Ron. I swear that I will do my best," Harry said as his tears came again, and the two men sobbed in unison. He couldn't help himself. Ron had always been the emotionally detached one and seeing him so worked up was hard for Harry, but at the same time it brought them much more close than they could have imagined.
Harry stepped back and held Ron at arms length. "We are going to do this." He held his shoulder with one hand and reached for Hermione with the other. He clasped it hard, and felt a comforting squeeze in return. "All three of us. We are going to do this together. I promise. We will win this time," Harry said with as much conviction in his voice as he could muster.
"You're damn right we will," Ron said, looking back at Harry with tearstained eyes.
The next few days held more than one tear jerking moment for both of them. They had a small private funeral for Ginny; it was held as dawn broke in the sky above them. It was hard for Harry to stand there and watch them lower the girl who had been his sister in all but blood lowered into the ground. Even though she had made him angry a few months before, even though she had said some things she shouldn't have, it didn't matter, she was still someone that Harry cared about. He couldn't imagine what the Weasley family was going through right now. It must have been extraordinarily difficult for them, watching their only daughter being buried.
Despite the fact that it was a small ceremony, it was still as emotionally damaging as if it were a huge one. A few minutes after the ceremony, Harry, Ron, and Hermione said their goodbyes, and apparated away to Godric's Hollow. It had been arranged that Hermione's parents would stay with the Weasley's; they would be safest with them.
The Hollow was just as they had left it. Before the cracks had finished echoing around the yard Harry spoke up.
"We all are going to a meeting today. There is someone at the Ministry that we need to talk to. I understand that today isn't the best of all days, but I think meeting with him will help along our cause. You know I don't like the Ministry that much, but I think that if we work with them to some extent, then we might benefit," Harry said softly. Ron nodded understandingly, but still didn't say anything.
"Harry, are you sure that you want to get mixed up with them?" Hermione cautioned.
"Yeah, I thought about it, and we are only going to do this if I can get the terms that I want. And I will let him know that," Harry replied calmly. He looked down at his watch. "We have a few hours, so we'll rest; do whatever the hell you want. Take some time to relax. I know you need it, Ron," Harry said understandingly.
They all walked back into the house, and Ron went right upstairs and closed the door softly. Harry knew that his friend was hurting, but right now, he just needed to be by himself.
"Harry, we need to talk about what happened at the battle. What did you do to Dolohov?" She asked curiously. Harry hesitated, not really sure himself.
"Well, I don't really know. But I can tell you that there were so many mixed emotions running through my head, I am surprised that I managed to kill him," Harry said. "Hatred had been there, but not in the mass quantities that are normally required for the killing curse."
"But you didn't use AK; you killed him with something else. So technically you didn't need the strong emotions," she said, sinking into the couch.
Harry sat down next to her and wrapped his arms around her. "True, but what did I kill him with? He was definitely dead," Harry said.
"What was the main emotion running through your mind?" Hermione asked, biting her lower lip in concentration.
"Well, there was plenty of hatred. At that moment I hated Dolohov more than ever," Harry said softly, trying to remember.
"Why did you hate him?" Hermione asked, trying to get to the answer.
Harry thought about it. He thought about why that emotion had been triggered in his mind. What was the first thing he thought when he saw the purple beam slice at Ginny? It only took Harry a split second to realize what it was.
"I thought about how I felt when he attacked you in fifth year, and I thought about how I would have been without you. Then that led into me thinking about you, and how I loved you so much. I loved Ginny, too, but not the same way. But the driving force for the hate was love, if that makes any sense," Harry said, trying to sort through it himself.
"Exactly!" Hermione exclaimed. As if she had already come to that conclusion. "The power that he knows not!" Hermione said. "The power that Tom doesn't know is love. Tom can't feel love, that part of his soul was ripped away a long time ago. Tom can't feel that, therefore he can't understand it. And finally that means that he has no defense against it," Hermione said, rapidly hitting points on her fingers.
"Of course. But can I do that again?" Harry asked.
"Yes! You most certainly can. But I want to try a few things, based on how I saw you fight at the battle. Let's go into the back yard," she said, and stood, walking out the door.
"Pull out your gun," Hermione instructed. Once he had done that, she continued. "Now, switch it to kill and aim it at the target that I conjured over there," Hermione said, pointing to a scarecrow popping into existence. "Before you fire, try to recreate the feeling that you felt yesterday afternoon."
Harry closed his eyes, and thought hard. He looked back on his feelings, trying to recreate the love and the hate that he had felt. Harry thought of what it felt like to be in Hermione's arms and knowing that she loved him. Yet at the same time he thought of someone taking that away from him. It only took a moment before he felt the energy rush through his veins. When he opened his eyes they were electric blue, and the gun was responding in kind.
"Fire," Hermione instructed.
Harry did so. The blue bolt that smashed into the target blew a hole clear through it. The smoldering target stood there swinging in the breeze with a hole from one side to the other. Hermione smiled.
"Don't loose the feeling. If you can, intensify it," she continued. "Now put the gun away, and use your wand."
Harry holstered the gun, and slid his wand out from the leather sheath. This time, he thought of what it had felt like to laugh with Sirius, how wonderful it had been to have an understanding Godfather. Then he thought about what it felt like to have him taken away. This on top of the previous thoughts built up greatly intensified the magic within him. Love was pouring through him and it was escaping on all ends. His eyes were glowing blue with an intensity that was unmatched, and a slight charge was in the air.
"Fire," Hermione said.
Harry performed the curse non-verbally, and it worked just as well. The blue beam that hissed out of his wand this time was much quicker and much more powerful. When it struck the target, it lifted it out of the ground and threw it back ten feet before it burst into flames.
"'Mione, why was it more powerful this time?" Harry said, keeping his concentration.
"The gun was never meant to handle that kind of emotion; it was never made to channel love. It was meant to draw hatred and raw magic power, never love. Your wand channels anything that is in your body. Therefore it is capable of taking the full force of it and using it, not just part of it," Hermione said, smiling proudly.
"You've been thinking about this, huh?" Harry said, smirking.
"Yes…." Hermione giggled. "Now this time, I want you to try it without your wand. I understand that wandless magic is extremely difficult, but I want you to try," she instructed.
"Okay," Harry agreed. The power was still raw in him, and it was still coursing through his veins like a fire flood.
"Go."
Before Harry moved, he threw another layer onto it all. He thought of his parents, and the love that they had shown him. He thought of them taking care of him, and again, how they had been taken away from him at such a young age. Then he thought of Ginny, how she was gone now, too. Then Sirius and Dumbledore. All the people in his life that weren't around any more. Then he thought about Hermione. He couldn't lose her. The raw love that was flowing through him grew ten fold. The magical power surging in him started to radiate from him in waves.
He opened his eyes, and threw out his open hand. This time, the blue wave flew straight from his palm and literally smashed into the new target. For a moment after impact, nothing happened. Then all of a sudden it was turned to a fine dust. There was nothing left of it, no trace that it had ever existed. Everything that had been part of the target was decimated.
Harry let the feelings flow out of him, and he felt the energy drain. It was hard, like he was letting life out of his body.
"That's what I thought, Harry. The power that you are going to use to destroy Tom is the same that you just used against the practice dummy. When you use that on Tom after we have destroyed the other parts of his soul, there won't be anything left," Hermione said excitedly. "You can do this, Harry!" She exclaimed.
"Only because I have you," Harry said simply, and kissed her passionately.
"Now, now you two! Nice display, Harry," Ron said from behind them. He looked better than he had before, but not completely himself still. There was a raw anger and hurt that remained behind his eyes, but that was to be expected.
"So, do you want to go meet this guy now? Or is it too early?" He asked casually.
"No, we can go now. I think we are done practicing for today," Harry said, smiling. Ron would make it through okay.
"Are you talking about the kissing or the spell work?" Ron chortled.
"Ron!" Both his friends yelled at the same time.
No matter what Ron would always be Ron.
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