Chapter 6-True Confessions
"So where are you taking me?" Hermione asked Harry. At the moment they were walking outside Hogwarts, heading towards the entrance gateway.
"Well, after we get off the Hogwarts grounds, I thought we would go to the Leaky Cauldron, pick up any food that we want and take it back to the lake where we could have an evening picnic," Harry explained.
"Impressive," Hermione stated.
"I would like to think so as well," Harry laughingly joked.
Without talking the rest of the way, they reached the limits to the grounds and without a word they were gone as they apparated to the Leaky Cauldron. Once arriving, Harry and Hermione both ordered food and had it prepared to take with them in a basket that Harry bought from the owner. Finally, with food in hand they apparated back to Hogwarts and found a nice place to sit by the lake.
The night was cool but not cold. There were only a handful of wispy clouds in the sky that were colored a lustrous pink from the setting sun. The sun left the surface of the lake sparkling brightly.
Harry took a nearby rock and transfigured it into a thick blanket that he spread on the ground below them. He placed the food down and sat down upon the blanket, motioning for Hermione to join him.
The meal started off silently as each of them munched on their food thoughtfully, not knowing what to say. Neither knew how to articulate any questions about their feelings on what Harry had said in the classroom. They didn't know how to clear the confusion that they were feeling.
After a while of this silence, Hermione could not take it any longer and just blurted something out, nothing deep or meaningful, just something to break the silence they were experiencing, "So, how did you become a teacher?"
Harry jumped silently from the sudden sound, but quickly composed himself to answer his question, "Well, after…after….I didn't have a job and I was just living with Sirius, actually enjoying some time off and being able to catch up with Sirius. I took frequent visits to Dumbledore, who let it slip one time that Hogwarts was without a DADA teacher. I offered taking it, and Dumbledore seemed to like that idea and immediately hired me. To this day I think he let it slip on purpose. From then on I was where I am now. I seemed to have a knack for teaching, and I lived a quiet life visiting Sirius on my time off and enjoying peace and quiet."
Hermione felt the sharp twinge of guilt for ruining his quiet life. "I am sorry I came barging in on your life."
"Don't be sorry. You needed my help and it was my decision to help you out, and I do not regret that decision. What about you? What have you and Ron been up to all this time?"
"Let's see, Ron hasn't changed much over the years. He is just as cocky and obnoxious as ever, although he has been a good friend to me all of these years. However, we have been growing apart a little. Not enough for many to notice, but enough for me to see. He has found himself a girl, and it is serious. They are not engaged or married, but just give it time. Now he spends a lot of his free time with her. I don't hold any ill feelings towards him because of it. I understand, but still it is hard to grow apart from him some. He was all I had left. But anyways.
"Surprisingly he has become one of the top Aurors in the business. Many didn't see it coming. He now leads his own team of Aurors and works on large cases. I work on smaller cases by myself usually. These are smaller more secretive cases. Not less important, but nobody wants to bring a lot of attention to these cases."
"I am glad that you guys are doing well. So Ron has found a girl that will put up with him? What kind of girl did he find?"
"Well you can not find anyone sweeter than her. Her name is Zoë. She is very beautiful and kind. Although, she does not take any of Ron's crap. She is trying to instill manners into Ron at the moment. The strange thing is Ron seems to enjoy it. When we were kids, if I told him to say please he would tell me to go bugger off. Now when ever Zoë tells him to do something, he does it."
Harry laughed at the thought of Ron being told what to do, by a woman no less. That was out of character for him. At least the Ron he knew a few years ago. "That must be a sight to see Ron being told what to do."
Hermione laughed at the memory of many times when she has witnessed this happen. "Yeah, it is quite rewarding to see Ron finally have to take orders. But, they are really cute together. Each personality compliments the other. They are really happy."
"I am glad to hear it," and Harry meant it. "I am sorry I have missed so much of your guys' life."
"So, do you regret your decision to stop being an Auror?" Hermione asked a question that she had been curious about since he left. She had wondered if she had been right and he had left purely based on emotion.
"Regret quitting that job? No I don't. Regret stopping contact with you? Yes I do."
"But, why did you quit when you had worked so hard to become and Auror. You had to to work so hard to make people believe that you were not just some famous name, but a person with talent at your job?"
"The job wasn't what I had hoped it to be. What I thought it would be? I don't know. Even now, I don't know what it was about the job that I hated. I just knew that I wasn't happy and since Voldemort was dead, I knew that I need not stay at the job anymore. I craved a life of peace and quiet. Something I would not have being an Auror. However, I did not know that my decision to leave would affect our friendship, and because of me leaving I would lose you two as friends."
"Harry, we were all unhappy with the conditions we were living in. It had not been fun for us all during those dark years. We knew though that life would change, and we would be able to live the life we wanted after Voldemort was gone," Hermione told Harry.
"But, that wasn't the life I wanted anymore. I didn't want to fight the dark side anymore. I just wanted to live my own life in quiet with my friends, but I lost you guys because of my decision."
"That is our fault. We should have listened to you and what you were saying. Not to mention we shouldn't have stopped talking to you just because of what you wanted. It was selfish of us."
"I can't blame you though. I was changing your way of life. We were a team and I was quitting what we had worked so hard to build. I was just ripping that from you," Harry spoke with conviction
"But, you shouldn't have to live a life you don't want to just for your friends. You lived your life for everybody else, and the one time you make a decision for yourself we treat you horribly and don't respect your decision. That was horrible of us."
"Do you realize that we are both making excuses for something that happened years ago. Let's agree that we both are sorry for what happened, and we won't feel guilty about it any longer."
Hermione laughed and agreed with him. They fell back into silence. Hermione felt better about some of the knowledge she learned, yet she still felt unsure about what Harry had said during his class. She had become doubtful over whether or not he had been truthful about what he had said. Without being obvious, she stared at Harry who was staring up at the sky while munching on a piece of bread. She herself looked up at the sky and noticed how dark it was now. The stars dusted the velvety blue sky. Should she bring up the subject that was running through her mind? It was a question she didn't have an answer to so she did something she hated to do. Go with her gut instinct.
"What you said in the classroom Harry, was it the truth or were you just saying it to make our relationship sound real?" Hermione quickly spoke.
Harry didn't look down from the sky and stared thoughtfully above. "I would never lie to my students," Harry stated almost cryptically.
"That is not what I asked."
"You always like straight to the point answer. You don't want to leave any room for maybe, Hermione."
Hermione agreed to herself that he was right. She always wanted things to be for sure.
Harry brought his gaze down and looked Hermione in the eye with a small crooked smile on his lips. He had expected this to happen. "Yes Hermione, I meant everything that I said."
Hermione wasn't surprised, but hearing it from his lips just made it more real. She had been his special place. "I had no idea that I meant so much to you."
"You never give yourself enough credit. You were always very special to me and I never took you for granted. It may have seemed like it a few times, but I never forgot how important you were to me. You did get me through some horrible dark times whether you knew it or not. Ron was different. He didn't really know how to help me, so sometimes he treated me different. You never changed. You always treated me like a human being and were there for me when no one else was. Yet I could never seem to return the favor. You didn't seem to need anybody. You were strong."
Hermione blushed at the high words of praise he was giving her, yet she did not feel like she deserved them. "On the contrary, I seemed strong. I never wanted to give you one more thing to worry about so I would just tough it up. Just being my friend was enough for me. You got it right. As you know I wasn't much of an outgoing person. I couldn't just go up to people and get along with them. You stuck by me over the years and protected me from harm. You were a friend when no one else would. We have had our arguments of course, yet we have worked past it. Even now we are working past our differences. Not to mention you were a person I could talk to about almost anything. Ron would laugh at half the things I told you. I loved you Harry." Hermione could not believe she just poured her heart out. What had she just said???
Harry's face softened. "Hermione," Harry spoke softly and placed a hand on Hermione's cheek. He slowly leaned in towards her.
Hermione had no idea what was going on, but she felt exhilarated and anxious about what was going to happen. She closed her eyes awaiting the contact. It came and the heat from his lips on hers pumped through her veins and seemed to lift her up to the heavens. Contact was brief and out of nowhere a flash from a camera was visible. They pulled away.
Harry was the first to speak although he himself looked a little dazed by the action. He whispered so only Hermione could hear, "I saw the reporter out in the trees and knew he would want a good picture."
Hermione felt her stomach fall ten feet. Waves of disappointment rushed through her body.
Harry lay down on the blanket and pulled Hermione with him and pulled her close to him.
Harry enjoyed the contact of having Hermione so close. Her closeness was intoxicating and was affecting his clarity. Everything seemed so fuzzy and wonderful. He was in heaven.
Hermione spoke softly, "This will make a good picture for the photographer as well."
Harry felt as if the world was crashing down around him. He could only answer with an, "uh-huh." He had forgotten for a few brief moments that this relationship wasn't real. He wished it was though. There were a lot of feelings floating around in him and one was a really strong emotion directed towards Hermione. He just wanted to stay with her in this moment forever, but he couldn't. Soon it would be over. Then thinking logically he realized he was wasting precious time with her by wishing it was real. He just needed to enjoy the time he had with her before this whole charade was over and he was no longer her fiancé.
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