Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all associated copyrighted ideas are used without permission and are the sole property of J.K. Rowling and her associates. I have made no profit from the writing of this story, nor was it written for the purpose of doing so. It is purely for enjoyment and the chance to lose myself in the wonderful world created by J.K. Rowling.
Explored Relationships: Harry/Hermione. As I am using events from HBP, I will be touching on the Ron/Hermione and Harry/Ginny relationships, although these will merely be mentioned for continuation purposes.
Rating: PG13 (This is subject to change depending on content of future chapters).
Summary: Hermione learns that every decision she makes, however small, can have a detrimental effect on her destiny.
Author's Further Notes: I know that a lot of people are disappointed with some of the events in HBP, I am one of them. I feel that there is still scope for things to work out how we would like them to, and this is my attempt at making things right.
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Chapter 1
A Rude Awakening
"Harry! NO!"
Hermione's voice tore through the air, as her eyes followed the body of Harry Potter as it fell lifeless to the ground. She ran in the direction that he lay, no longer concerned for anything but getting to his side. Everything around her turned into a blur, the shouts and motions of those around her lost in this task that she had to perform.
She tripped, her knees bashing hard onto the ground, sending searing pain rushing up her legs. Her hands scratched across the rough floor, tiny cuts seeping with her blood. But none of this mattered, nothing mattered but getting to Harry. She rose from the floor, scrambling over what had caused her to fall, caring not for what or who it was.
The ground around her was littered with bodies, some familiar faces that she had known, others people she would never learn the identity of. The maze they formed to her friend hampered her progress, but still she rushed on, managing to dodge not only the obstacles below her feet, but also those that flashed around her as the battle continued.
Finally, she reached his body. A look at his face told her it was too late. She felt a tear roll down her cheek, as she lifted his head, and cradled it in her lap, her fingers lightly brushing over his cheek, before moving up to straighten his glasses. Nothing else mattered, everything was over. They had lost, and He-who-must-not-be-named had won.
"I never got to tell you…"
The sound of laughter filled her ears. Looking up from the face of her dead friend, her gaze fell on the eyes of the man who had taken his life. He walked calmly towards her, his eyes blazing with his success. All around them darkness grew, almost as if life had been sucked out of everything, as it gave in to the Dark Lord.
Her wand in hand, she raised it quickly, but not quick enough. Suddenly a burst of pain shot through her body, pushing her back against the ground, her head slamming hard. The darkness seemed to spread rapidly, the night drawing in fast, a night that she would never again wake from. Her eyes began to close as the pain grew, finally sending her into total darkness…
* * * * *
"No!"
Hermione sat up in bed, a bead of sweat running down her forehead, as the familiar sight of her dorm came into focus. She shivered uncontrollably, her body felt as if it still had Death's hand wrapped around it. She had had bad dreams before, but this…this one was different. For a moment, before her eyes had shot open, she felt like she had really…died? She breathed in deep, trying to calm her racing heart, her hand moving to her chest as if to check that she was still alive.
Thoughts flooded her mind, as she begun running over the dream trying to analyse it, but other than the end, the rest seemed to be nothing but a blur. The scene that swam past her eyes caused her to tremble with fear. She did not want to close her eyes again, did not want to re-enter that dream. It felt too real.
Pushing back the covers, she climbed out of the bed. The room was silent save for the usual nightly creaks of the building. She looked about her, the others still sleeping peacefully, the gentle rise and fall of their covers showing them to have been undisturbed by her cry.
Darkness filled the room, bringing back the last part of her dream. She wrapped her arms around her, as she searched for her dressing gown. Grabbing it and her wand, she headed down to the common room, where she could cast a bit of light and lay the night's demons to rest. It was still early in the morning, and the room would be empty. And despite her need to be with Harry and Ron, to hear their comforting voices, and to know that they were still alive, she also wanted time on her own to compose herself. The dream had affected her more than she cared to admit.
Sitting in one of the chairs by the fire, she pulled out her wand and increased the warmth it was emitting, its orange glow bringing some light. She sat for a moment, watching as the flames flickered, performing their dance to a secret tune that only they could hear. Beginning to relax, she let her eyes move around the room, feeling the comfortable familiar setting cleanse her mind.
Yet she could still see his face, his eyes closed as she cradled him in her arms. His body lifeless and devoid of the life that made him Harry, the boy she had grown up with for the past six years. The thought of him being gone made her heart sink heavily. Losing friends was never easy.
So lost in her thoughts, she did not hear the footsteps on the stairs to the boys' dorm, nor did she noticed the soft patter as the footfalls made their way over to where she sat.
"Hermione?"
She looked up from her reverie, gasping as her eyes fell on his face. Not dead and lifeless as she had seen only moments before but alive and standing there before her. "Harry!" She rose from the chair and threw her arms around him, her smile growing as the images of his death finally left her mind completely.
"Hermione?" Harry sounded even more puzzled, as he felt her loosen her arms from around his neck and take a step back, a faint darkening of her cheeks barely visible in the low light.
"Harry, I…" Hermione smiled weakly and stepped a little further away, leaving the real explanation hanging in the air. She could not tell him that she had become worked up over a dream, especially one in which she too had died. If she was alive, he had had to have been too. "I couldn't sleep." She quickly amended, before turning on him with a questioning glance. "What are you doing awake?"
Harry moved over and slumped down in the chair opposite to the one that Hermione had recently unoccupied. "I couldn't sleep either." He frowned slightly, and despite his words, he tried to stifle a yawn. "It doesn't feel the same here anymore." He watched as she moved to her seat and perched on the edge, leaning forward towards him.
"We can't expect things to stay the same, Harry, not with Dumbledore's…" She paused, unable to say the word. She could feel the difference, the emptiness. Hogwarts felt as if it had lost its heart. He had been as much a part of the school as the building itself had. He had been ingrained in their life and now there was a part missing, a part that could never be replaced.
Harry let out a sigh. "What are we going to do without him? He knew what had to be done. He knew everything." He looked down at his hands, which were clutching at each other. "How can I do this without help? I don't even know where to start."
"We are here for you." Hermione took his hand in hers, as if reminding him of their bond, her eyes flashing with surprise as he snatched his hand back. "Harry?"
Harry rose from the chair. "I don't want anyone's help. I've lost too many already who have tried." He turned his back on her, and gazed into the fire. His body was rigid, and his breathing was hard as he tried to control his temper. "I can't lose anyone else." He whispered.
Remaining where she was for a moment, Hermione just watched him, unsure what to do or say. There was so much going around her head, so much she wanted to say, so much she wanted to do. Hermione and Ron had always been there for him, and it pained her to hear him tell her that he did not want them there for him. She could understand his reasons, but that did not make her feel any better.
She got out of her chair, and moved towards him. Placing her hand on his shoulder, she felt him tremble at her touch, the motion making her feel sad. She removed it, and let her arm hang loosely by her side. "We will always be here, Harry, whether you want us or not. We care about you too much to let you face this on your own." She paused for a moment, and listened to the crackling of the fire, as if she expected it somehow to tell her what to do.
"We should try to get some sleep," she finally said, breaking the silence.
"You go. I know I won't be able to sleep." He turned and faced her, a weary smile on his face, his expression heavy.
Hermione gave him that stubborn look she had. "If you aren't going, I'm not even going to try." She frowned as the thought of revisiting her nightmare came to mind. "We might as well make the most of the time and start researching the possible location of the other Horcruxes."
Returning to his chair, Harry looked at Hermione. "You really don't need to stay with me. I'm not going to do anything foolish, you know?" He gave her a grin, his eyes telling her how grateful he was for her company despite his words. "Where should we start?"
"That's easy…at the beginning." She gave him a grin, and pulled out her wand silently thought the word 'Accio', as she pointed her wand at a pile of books on the table, watching as the top two moved over to their waiting hands.
* * * * *
Sunlight streamed into the common room, dawn finally pushing away the last traces of the night. The room began to fill with others, as they moved around, completing little chores before they headed off to the Great Hall for the first meal of the day. Several gave the sleeping pair in the chairs a brief glance, before sniggering to themselves and going about their business.
"Harry? Hermione?"
A familiar voice broke through her sleep, pulling her out of her dream, one that has been much more pleasant than the previous one she had had. She blinked sleepily as she brought her gaze to focus on a red haired boy. Stretching her body, almost dropping the book that rested on her lap on the floor, she looked about her, spotting the fingers of sunlight that crept across the room.
"What time is it?" Hermione asked sleepily, as she sat up and glanced at the page the book was open to, memorising it before closing it shut with an audible bang. Her gaze fell upon Harry, who rubbed his eyes sleepily and replaced his glasses, having also fallen asleep.
Ron grinned, despite his puzzlement at seeing his friends sitting in their night clothes, with old tomes resting in their laps, while fast asleep. "Breakfast time." He grabbed the books from them and headed off towards the table. "You two had better hurry if you don't want to miss it. I'll meet you down there."
Waiting for the two to mutter some replies, he disappeared through the hole, joining the end of the group of Gryffindors as they all headed off to break their fast, their chattering dying to a low mumble as they got further and further away.
Harry clutched his stomach, as he felt it grumble, which caused Hermione to smile at the sound. "I think Ron was right. We had better hurry." He looked at the young woman before him and grinned. As he walked away, he turned to her, his eyes full of gratitude. "Thank you for last night, Hermione."
Shrugging her shoulders, Hermione smiled. "It was nothing. I enjoyed the company. It kept away the night…" She stopped suddenly.
Harry looked at her and frowned. "Why didn't you say you had a nightmare, last night?"
"It was nothing, just a bad dream." Hermione smiled, trying to make light of the matter. "I'll tell you about it after breakfast." Turning, she headed towards the girl's dorm, listening as Harry made his way to the boys. She stopped and watched him disappear up the stairs, before berating herself for letting slip about her dream.
* * * * *
Ron was already tucking into his second plateful of sausages and egg when Harry and Hermione made their way to the Gryffindor table. Despite Hogwarts reopening, the attendance levels had fallen, as parents decided to keep their children at home where they could protect them. The death of Dumbledore had caused a ripple of fear amongst the wizarding community, but there were those that still felt that Hogwarts was a safe place.
Professor McGonagall, now the Headmistress of the School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, sat in the seat that had for all Hermione's time at Hogwarts belonged to Dumbledore. As she entered the Great Hall, Hermione still expected to see the white haired wizard commanding his glance across the students below. At the end of the table sat Hagrid, his features showing his misery at the death of the Professor who had given him his chance at the school.
Hermione glanced over to where he sat, willing him to look over to them, but he remained with his head bowed over a plateful of food that he appeared to be playing absentmindedly with, pushing a sausage from one side of his plate to the other, and then back again.
She turned to Harry and Ron, sighing loudly. "Hagrid looks terrible." Her brow creased as she pondered what they could do. "We must try to cheer him up."
Looking up at the main table, Ron nodded his head. "Losing Dumbledore and Aragog has hit him really hard." He forked a piece of sausage, and lifted it to his mouth. "I don't know how we can help him though. We have enough problems trying to locate the Hor…"
"Ron!" Hermione cut him off, and then lowered her voice to almost a whisper. "We cannot speak of that here." She glared at him, as if with her eyes alone she could punish him for his near slip.
The red haired boy's face almost turned the colour of his hair. "I'm sorry, Harry." He mumbled before silencing himself with a piece of sausage that he chewed thoughtfully.
"Hermione's right, we really do need to do something for Hagrid. He's always been good to us." Harry frowned, as he too struggled to think of something suitable. "I'm sure we'll come up with something." He began to fill his plate with the food items around him.
Turning her face once more in Hagrid's direction, Hermione sighed again as she watched him rise from the table, and without once looking up, headed out of the Great Hall. She saw that Professor McGonagall was giving him a similar glance as her eyes also followed him out of the hall, before she seemed to turn and look directly at Hermione before returning her attention to her food.
Hermione's gaze remained lingering on the head table. She could still recall their first meal here the day the school had reopened. Expectant faces those old and new alike stepping through the huge doors, just like they did every year, but this time it had been different. Now everything was different. Every day there was a new report of a murder as the Death Eaters and He-who-must-not-be-named continued to work their way though the wizarding world.
Known and unknown were dying, and despite the Ministry of Magic's best attempts they were not making any progress in finding and capturing the Dark Lord. Rufus Scrimgeour was releasing information of those that had been caught and sent to Azkaban. But whatever they seemed to do, it was not enough to calm the wizarding community, which seemed to be slowly disappearing as they began to go into hiding.
The Sorting Hat had been brought out, and still it sang its song, but it was not filled with the hope of the world. It had been melancholy, as if it too was beginning to see the end of Hogwarts or perhaps even the world as they knew it.
'A time for those that returned to see
Those brave at heart that stood their ground
Not giving in to hate and fear
A unity in the world still found
Together in darkness that knows no bounds
Gathered here to be as one
Side by side, hand in hand
Father's daughter, Mother's son…'
The rest had continued in the usual vain of describing each of the houses, and finally picking where each of the newcomers would be going, the ceremony shorter than normal as fewer first years arrived for the new school year. Professor McGonagall had stood then and welcomed everyone to the school, whether they be old or new, and informed them in no uncertain terms that there would be no setting foot outside the school grounds, and that all trips to Hogsmeade had been cancelled until further notice, which had been greeted half-heartedly with groans from the students.
Looking about her now, Hermione picked out the empty spaces, the most prominent was that of Draco Malfoy. His two goons, Crabbe and Goyle seemed totally lost without their leader. For the briefest moment, Hermione felt sorry for them, so down they looked, but that only lasted for a moment.
Her thoughts once more turned to Malfoy. She recalled the previous year, and Harry's insistence that he was up to no good. She and Ron had dismissed these accusations against him, as had everyone else he had told, but he had been telling the truth, and despite not being the one responsible for the Headmasters death, his second had taken up the wand and had killed the frail wizard. Still there was no news of either Snape or Draco.
"So, are you going to tell us about your dream, Hermione?" Ron's voice broke through her thoughts.
She glared at Harry, her eyes blazing as she realised that he had told Ron. "Why did you mention it to Ron?"
Harry looked at her for a moment and shrugged. "I didn't realise it was a secret."
Hermione sighed and shook her head. "I'll tell you later, I have to rush to class." She gave them both an exasperated look, and rose from the bench. "I'll see you back in the common room after class."
As she walked towards the door, she heard the quick steps of someone approaching her. Clearing the door of the Great Hall, she heard a voice calling out her name. She turned and came face to face with Ginny Weasley, who was looking at her questioningly.
"How's Harry?" The younger girl asked.
Hermione looked at Ginny for a moment and shrugged. "It's hard to tell. You know Harry." She smiled encouragingly. "I think he's having a really bad time at the moment. Dumbledore's…" She stopped leaving the sentence hanging. "And losing Sirius too. He's taking it badly."
Ginny nodded. "Yeah."
Pointing off in the vague direction she was heading, she frowned slightly, not wanting to push the girl away, but at the same time. "I've got a class now. We'll talk later, okay?"
Ginny nodded, and with her feet firmly rooted in place, she watched as Hermione wandered off to class.
Hermione looked back at Ron's sister, really not needing some other problem to deal with. Her mind was already in a whirl with her dream, Harry and everything else that seemed suddenly important. She headed to her Arithmancy class, hoping that the lesson would clear her mind.