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Tattered and Torn by KesleyPotter
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Tattered and Torn

KesleyPotter

Lily met her eyes in the mirror as she combed her hair, just like she did every morning. And like every morning, she repeated the litany of her heart to her reflection. "You are not what you appear. You are black and rotten inside. You have sold your immortal soul to the devil. Only by begging for forgiveness will God consider taking your miserable life into His eternal home. You heartless hind, you left them both and never looked back. Dead or alive, no one deserves that."

Her eyes met a picture in the top right corner of her mirror, and she began to cry. It was a picture from Christmas sixteen years before-the only picture she had salvaged. Remus was seated at the piano; Lily, James, and Sirius stood behind him, singing along. Sirius held a small, chubby, happy baby in his arms, who was smiling one of the biggest smiles Lily had ever seen and clapping as his family sang. It only reminded Lily of everything she had lost, all she had done and all she'd left behind.

Voldemort had entered her home Halloween fifteen years before. She had run with Harry while James tried to fight him off…but James had died in the attempt. Lily had been determined to die defending Harry, but Voldemort had only stunned her. It had definitely been the Killing Curse, but obviously Voldemort had been more preoccupied with getting to Harry than actually killing her. When she woke up, the house was destroyed and Harry was gone. She knew-she just knew her baby had been destroyed. And she'd run for it without looking back.

She had come to this little village, as far from her home as she could. The pastor of the local church had taken her in, though he knew nothing of her past or guilt. She had been here ever since, trying to absolve herself of her sins, working as a piano teacher. Fifteen long years. Everyone called her Tizzy (her students called her Miss Tizzy) because she'd been such a mess when she arrived. As yet she hadn't told them her real name. She was just Tizzy.

Controlling her tears, she pulled her hair back into the school-mar'm bun she always wore and headed into the living room to wait for her first student of the day.

Meanwhile, an ocean away…

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, wake up, wake up, wake up!"

James groaned a little and opened his eyes. Hazel eyes and white-gold tresses swam above him blearily.

"Yay! Daddy's up!"

James laughed a little, sat up, and reached for his glasses. "Good morning, Princess."

Five-year-old Erin beamed. "Morning, Daddy. Jamie said it was time to get up."

"Tell Jamie I'm on my way."

"Okey-dokey."

After a quick shower, James entered the kitchen. "Morning, lassies."

"Morning, Daddy," chorused his daughters.

His daughters. James had never thought he'd have any…not after Halloween fifteen years before, when Lily-his Lily-his childhood bride and the love of his life-and his little boy had been killed. All in one night. He'd woken up-God only knew how, he was sure Voldemort had used the Killing Curse-and looked frantically for Lily and Harry. Both of them were gone. Certain they had been destroyed-would they have left him otherwise?-and stricken by grief, he had left town without even bothering to look for Remus or Sirius.

After some aimless wandering, he had wound up by the docks, where he bought a ticket on the first boat he could get, one that happened to be coming to America. He'd been there ever since.

And it was where he had met Leanne. They'd gone out a couple of times, and when she proposed he accepted before he thought about it, hoping Leanne would heal the hole in his heart. She hadn't. No matter what happened, he'd never been able to banish Lily from his thoughts. No matter how many times he'd held one of his daughters-his and Leanne's-in his arms, he couldn't forget holding Harry.

Jamie-Jamesina-was the oldest. She was thirteen. A third year student at Salem. He'd spoken to the Headmaster the day Jamie's letter arrived-before he'd told Jamie-and been assured that all the paperwork would be ready should the family return to England. James doubted he ever would-Leanne had never wanted to go-but he would be prepared. Now he was glad he had. Jamie had James's messy dark hair and hazel eyes, but like Leanne her vision was perfect.

Virginia was next, age eleven. She had her mother's long golden locks and soft blue eyes-she looked just like her mother. James dreaded the arrival of her Salem letter…he didn't know why, he just did. He was glad he had Erin around; Virginia looked too much like he imagined Harry would, had he lived. She had a sunny smile and a personality to match.

Erin was the baby. She strongly favoured Leanne, but she had James's hazel eyes. She was a fairly typical five-year-old-she gave huge hugs, she had a mild lisp, a charming way of capturing everyone's hearts, and she was thrilled about starting school that fall.

Leanne would have been proud, James thought, looking around at his girls. Every time he thought of Leanne, he knew that he hadn't loved her the way he loved Lily; while he couldn't think of Lily without wanting to cry, thoughts of Leanne just gave him a mild, dull ache. She had died three months before, killed in a random shooting.

In fact, it was this that gave him the courage to say what he was about to tell his girls. Leanne would never have approved of the "trip", but James had to get back, find Remus and Sirius, see Lily and Harry's graves. "Girls," he began, taking a seat seriously, "how would you like to explore your roots?"

Jamie's eyes lit up. "We get to go to New Jersey?"

"No, not your mother's roots. My roots. How would you like to go to England?"

"Ooh, do you mean it, Daddy?" Virginia asked excitedly. "We really and truly get to go?"

"I've booked tickets. We leave on Monday."

Erin grinned. "Yay!"

Jamie frowned slightly. "How long are we going to be gone, Dad?"

James hesitated. "Well…you know, we have no reason to stay here. I thought we'd move back there."

Jamie's face fell. "Daddy, what about my school? I'd have to go so far away from home…"

"You'd transfer to Hogwarts. That's where I went to school. Would you like that?"

Jamie leapt up, her face lighting up again. "Yes!"

James smiled fondly. "Good. Then it's settled…Go pack what you'll need for about two weeks. I'll have Patty and Harold send the rest of it along later."

~~~

"You're sure, Sir?" Remus asked incredulously, staring at Dumbledore.

"Positive. There's no mistaking it."

Remus stared in shock, first at Dumbledore and then at the two small instruments that were humming madly. "Why didn't this work before?"

"I had so many gadgets and gizmos crammed in here they were interfering with these two. Harry broke a lot of them in a mad rage last month-not that I blame him; in fact, I'm glad he did now-and all of a sudden these came alive. There can be no misunderstanding. Lily and James are alive-Lily in a small village in the south of England, James in a large town in America."

Remus swallowed. "Do they…I mean, why have they been there all these years?"

Dumbledore sighed and folded his hands on his desk. "I don't know for sure, but I have a theory. I believe that when they awoke in the rubble-which must have been after Sirius and Hagrid left with Harry, having seen their bodies-they found Harry gone and the house destroyed. Each must have assumed that the other had been completely destroyed, along with Harry, and run without a backwards look, grieving. In all likelihood they've been cut off from the wizarding world, through accident or design, so they have no idea that Harry is alive."

Remus gripped his hands together tightly, trying to keep all his emotions in check. "What are we going to do now?"

Dumbledore gave him a half-smile. "I would assume that the first thing to do is tell Harry."

"I think that should be the last thing we do. I don't want to raise any false hopes…Lily and James may have settled into new lives and may not want to accept right away that their son is alive. I don't want to hurt Harry any more than he already has been." Remus's voice grew soft. "Two hard blows in two short months would kill him."

Dumbledore nodded thoughtfully. "I believe you're right. All right, I am turning this over to your capable hands. Speak to them when you see fit."