Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Author's Note: Enjoy, and please tell me what you think!
o-o-o
As it happened, though, there wasn't. Not enough time to talk, not enough time to plan - hell, there was barely enough time to breathe. The weeks leading up to the wedding passed in a blur - fittings, shopping, meetings with family and caterers… and a distinct lack of contact between the soon-to-be newlyweds. Draco had no idea whether they were subconsciously avoiding each other or if fate just had a sardonic sense of humour, but as time marched resolutely on, he realised that absolutely nothing was going to be resolved until the entire fiasco was over.
So he resigned himself to simply getting through the days, one at a time, until everything had settled down again and he could get back to his nice, normal, Ginny-filled life. Not that he was desperate for her or anything, he reassured himself with increasing regularity. The fact that he found himself drinking alone in a corner at his bachelor party, not the slightest bit interested in the token stripper because she didn't have red hair and was far too tall and skinny, meant nothing. The way his head would whip around whenever a trace of red caught his eye in a crowd, was normal, and the way his heart missed a beat whenever he heard a husky feminine chuckle was, of course, the natural reaction of a friend. And the dreams that kept him up at night - yielding lips, silky hair and an increasing amount of soft, soft skin - were clearly a sign that he was going batty because friends didn't think about friends like that.
The truth was, he missed her like crazy and couldn't wait for this all to be over so he could just be with her. That's all he wanted - it was all he'd wanted for years.
o-o-o
She leant her head against the cool window, staring out at the cloudy sky while attempting to slow her shallow gasps for air. Focussing on a single raindrop tracking its way down the glass, winding its way against the buffeting wind, she felt her face cool from a desperate flush and turned back to the woman waiting behind her.
If there was one thing she couldn't deal with right now, it was her mother. God knows she loved her dearly, but happy gushing had no place with her today. She needed time. Space. Air.
Draco.
At this last thought, her lips quivered, threatening to fall from the plastic smile she'd been wearing for the past month. No. Not here - she couldn't. Brides were radiant. Lovely. Happy. She was none of the above, but it seemed that this didn't matter now anymore than it had when they'd first put this crazy plan into action. She'd made a deal, Ginny reminded herself - she had made her decision. And she was going to go through with it. She had no choice - and, if she was completely honest with herself, she didn't want one. Having a choice meant questioning her decisions, her motives, and the rightness of it all.
Turning, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror stretching all along one wall of the spacious room. Her breath gushed out in one sharp burst. That glittering woman there - that was who she was. Who would walk down the aisle, knowing that the white she was wearing was cruelly appropriate - and that in 30 years nothing would have changed. Who would walk towards the man she would spend the rest of her life with. A man she loved so desperately it scared her. A man who thought of her as a friend. Draco.
Draco. That was why she was doing this. Because, when all was said and done, she loved him. Wanted him. And if this was the only way she could have him - as a friend, a convenient partner - then she would take it, gladly.
Smiling a little, she turned back to her mother and assured her that she was fine, just afflicted by a small case of `bridal jitters'. Chuckling knowingly, the plump redheaded woman patted her cheek and told her that there was absolutely no reason for that.
"You are the envy of all other women here today. You're about to marry a gorgeous, talented man who will spend the rest of his life making you happy. Who loves you more than his next breath. Who is out there waiting for you."
Grinning wryly, Ginny doffed her hat to Draco's superior acting skills. He'd obviously done a brilliant job convincing everyone he loved her - she could only hope she'd been as good at keeping her feelings from him.
Organ notes drifted through the wind, signalling that it was time. She grabbed her mother in an impulsive hug, doing her best to keep her panic from showing. After receiving an equally fierce squeeze in return, she found herself being propelled down the stairs to the room where the rest of her wedding party waited. She took deep breaths, trying to stay calm. She could do this. She'd survived dress fittings, catering meetings, nosy journalists - and not seeing Draco for weeks. After that, this was nothing.
But that didn't stop the pounding of her heart or the dampness of her palms. And it did nothing to alleviate the painful tugging in her chest.
Barely even hearing the gushing of her bridesmaids or the rough note of praise in her father's voice, she shut her eyes and tried to remember how to breathe. After the compliments and excited chatter had slowed, an attendant poked his head through the door to find out if all was well. Nodding that she was ready, Ginny watched numbly as the huge oak doors swung open to admit her bridesmaids into the sheltered forest clearing where the ceremony would take place. Aware that all other feelings had been eclipsed by a sudden, all-consuming terror, she barely felt her father's tugging at her arm. Turning dazedly, she realised that he was gesturing towards the door. It was time to go. Drawing in a steady breath, she turned determinedly towards what was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. This would work.
It had to.
o-o-o
He was standing with his back to the horde who had turned up to the wedding. He wasn't interested in them - wasn't interested in the caterer blathering in his ear, wasn't interested in his mother's fluttering with the guests, and definitely wasn't interested in Zabini's annoying smirk. Bloody arrogant idiot - somehow, he always managed to convey that he knew a lot more than Draco would have liked. Ignoring his best man, Draco concentrated on convincing himself that this was real, but it felt so far removed from him. Was he really about to marry Ginny, his best friend - that beautiful, tiny woman who was single-handedly responsible for Draco's uneasiness and lack of sleep for the past few months? A sliver of worry tried to creep up the back of his throat, but he ruthlessly wrestled it back down. This was the right thing to do. There was no backing out now. Suddenly, blood rushed hot through his veins as he heard the crowd rise behind him and turned to see her coming towards him.
He drew in a slow breath, feeling like his legs had been knocked from under him. This was real, so real - but she was almost like a stranger coming towards him, pale perfection with none of her beautiful, raw emotions showing. Sudden doubts assailed him - was this really the right thing to do? So many things could go wrong… so many hearts and lives crushed…
Then she looked up and met his eyes and he fell into their warm softness, sucking in a little from the wave of heat. And suddenly he felt like singing, shouting for joy because it was Ginny coming towards him, not a stranger after all - just Ginny, looking wonderful and beautiful and terrified. The joy bubbled out, spreading into a warm smile as he stepped forward and took her tiny hand in his, taking her in - and falling just a little bit more.
Looking up into his eyes, seeing their warmth and joy smiling down at her, she felt the rest of the world slide away until it was just the two of them. But that was really all they needed, so she smiled back and stepped up to the priest who would join them as one, now and forever.
The ceremony passed in a blur, with words leaping out occasionally to bring a rush of joy and panic to her throat and pounding heart. Honour. Cherish. Peace. Through all life. Love.
Vaguely, she registered him vowing his heart and his life to her in that low, rough voice of his that never failed to set off sparks up her spine. And she smiled up at him as hers rang out clearly.
Then it was done. They were husband and wife - before God, the law, and all those who they loved. Looking up into his silvery eyes, she saw them darken as his head dipped towards hers for the traditional kiss. And as she lifted her mouth up to receive his, she let the last of her nagging fears slip away. They were one now. She heard cheering in the distance, and then his mouth slanted across her as the kiss deepened and she couldn't think anymore.
Eventually, they broke apart, breathing raggedly, grinning more happily than any couple married for pure convenience had any right to. But somehow, feeling Draco's rough hand slide down to rest on her waist, guiding her through the beaming audience, she couldn't bring herself to care. For a while, she would just sit back and watch, and let things sort themselves out. There would be plenty of time to deal with the leftovers later.
So she sat as if in a glorious dream all through the reception - she ate heartily, and accepted good wishes happily from all guests, whether she knew them or not. She watched Draco play his part of the loving bridegroom, and pretended for a while that it was real instead of a farce to be broken by morning. She danced with anyone who asked, happily whirling around the floor and accepting compliments as if they were paid to her every day. And she watched him watching her, and smiled at the faint irony - they truly had come full circle, so perhaps it was only right that he sat to the side observing, as she had done all those years ago.
Projecting radiance as well as she knew how, Ginny made her way over to the refreshment table where the shadows enveloped her and she could finally stop smiling. The tension of the day caught up with her, and she sagged a little against the wall, glad that the guests were no longer interested in her - she had danced enough, smiled enough, so was now superfluous. Gazing out across the dance floor, she smiled a little at the amazing diversity present in such a small space. The Minister for Magic was waltzing stiffly with a high-society dame around the edges, while Blaise was sweeping Luna Lovegood into a dramatic dance that had girls sighing all around the floor. Ron was swaying with some unnamed girl in the centre, looking resigned, and her parents… Her breath caught and sudden tears rose up, threatening to choke her. They had always been simply Mum and Dad - sure, she knew that they loved each other, but she'd never thought about any true depth of feeling between them. Until now. They weren't doing anything scandalous or dramatic, simply swaying in time to the music in a far corner - but the way they looked at each other was so loving, so intimate, Ginny turned away feeling like a little child peeping through a window to a magic world. To feel like that - to love like that… was something she'd never do with Draco. Because friends didn't do that.
Battling tears, she looked blindly away and found her gaze trapped by intense silver eyes staring back at her across the room. Feeling too raw to put her practiced mask back on, she considered fleeing but ended up just standing there, watching him make his way towards her.
Winding his way through the dancers, half of whom he didn't know, Draco found himself unable to look away from the woman waiting for him in the shadows. Caught off guard by the depth of raw feeling flittering across her face, he wanted nothing more than to hold her, shield her from whatever was hurting her, and let the rest of the world slip away.
He stepped up to her, unable to resist tracing the curve of her cheek, revelling in the softness of her skin before tucking an escaped curl behind the tiny shell of her ear. Smiling down at her, falling into her incredible warmth, he was barely aware of speaking.
"Come on. You've had enough."
His rough voice reverberated through her as she nodded, too tired to put up any kind of token resistance. Their part here was done. It was time to go.
She followed him outside, tucked up next to his side like a child being guided home. He took out his wand, enclosing her in his arms as he apparated them away from the continuing festivities to the secluded beachside resort planned for their honeymoon. She stepped out of his embrace, looking around at her home for the next two weeks. There had been no chance of avoiding this - any genuinely married couple would never forsake a honeymoon. However, she hadn't been prepared for the… realness of it all. They were in a small sitting room, which had a few doors leading off into different chambers. She stepped over, twisting a doorhandle to peer inside - and was caught unprepared by the naked longing rushing through her as she stared at the inviting double bed, seeing in her mind's eye a breathless tumble before limbs entwined with passion-
"This can be your room. I'll take the other."
Right. Good. That's good. Separate rooms was what they had agreed on because they weren't, after all, a genuine couple. And she could have dealt with it, any other night. But right now she felt ripped open, shaky, far too exposed - and she didn't want to be alone tonight. She knew there was no real future for any kind of romance between them, and that wasn't really what she wanted anyway. She just wanted someone to be there. Just tonight. Tomorrow, they could get up and go their separate ways. Could go back to being just friends. But right now, she needed him.
"Could you… do you think that… maybe…"
God, she was stuttering and blushing like a teenager trying to pluck up the courage to ask a boy for a date. Not that there was much difference, she thought cynically. She took a steadying breath and looked up into those incredible eyes that made her go a little crazy every time.
"Could you just - hold me? Just for tonight?"
He looked down at her, feeling like he'd taken a blow to the stomach, and tried to catch his breath. Slowly, he nodded. This was what they both needed, whether they'd admit it openly or not. Comfort. She was offering it, and he needed it desperately. So, for tonight, they could forget that this was a huge mess. They could pretend that this was right and that it was normal for friends to feel this way.
Just for tonight, they could love.
o-o-o
So - drop me a line, ya? Tell me what you thought! Encouragement is always good… will have to start on next chapter soon. Must hop to it… Love yas all, you're wonderful!
Cheers,
Jenny :D
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