*NOTES* Okay I would like everyone to know that I have a beta, she just recently started, and she is my best friend. We are working as hard as possible to cut down on the errors. So if you see any please be picky but not overly picky. We are after all just two people trying to do the best we can. Anyhow this is the next chapter and I'm sorry it is taking so long but you might as well get use to the wait. I know you hate reading that but school comes first. And I hate reading that. Hahaha. So I hope you enjoy until the time comes again please be patient.
****
Seeing as Hermione was not one to waste time they decided to dive right in to the next to two letters. But it was confusing, almost as though Hermione couldn't quite decide whom she wanted to read each one. Molly was an easy and direct decision for Ron's letter but when no one reached out to grab Harry's a ripple went through the group. Maybe, everyone thought, at some point during the five-minute wait, that no one was intended to read what was written in it. Oddly enough it was Ginny who reached out and grabbed the letter.
The youngest Weasley looked down at the envelope in her hand with a horrified expression. She couldn't believe that Hermione would do such a thing to her knowing the pain it would cause. Wasn't it enough that she was left behind to worry and wait while she got to go with him? She got to be there for his… for his everything. She had become the person he went to with problems, the person he confided in, and the person he trusted above all others except Dumbledore, who was now dead.
Molly had always considered Hermione another one of her own children. She knew the friendship that Harry, Ron, and Hermione shared was special, that it was more important than anything else to them. But now she stared at the letter the girl had so attentively written and she couldn't help but wonder what it held. Was there some kind of confession or did it hold, like the other letters, hopes and wishes? Molly broke the seal and took out the letter with a shaking hand.
Ron,
It is Lev-ee-OH-sa, not Lev-ee-oh-SA, Ron that was the beginning of our turbulent and loving friendship. Ron, do you remember? If it weren't for you I wouldn't be where I am today. You have pushed me in some of the strangest ways to help me achieve my goals. And the funny thing is that you have never been aware of it.
This year has been hard for the both of us. We tried to date and that didn't work out. You accused me of loving someone else and we both knew you were right. But you also understood that I never meant to hurt you and so we forged ahead. Ron I know that I have told you this many times since that faithful afternoon, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry that we never got our chance to even try and work things out between us, we never got to see what it would have been like, but it is our choices that shape us. And we just made too many choices for us to actually be, but friends are even better than that.
So we went on being friends and then we destroyed the first Horcrux. I found it kind of amusing that Kreacher actually became useful. I know that I kept telling you all to be nice to him (and you should have been) but he really is rather awful. With one down and three more left I got a little nervous.
What if we couldn't actually do this? What if one of us got seriously injured before we finished this and only two were allowed to go on? I think Harry sensed my nervousness because he told me that it was all of us or none of us. And we held true to that.
And so we searched for Hufflepuff's goblet. It was tough and it took me a while to pin point exactly where Voldemort had put it, but I did find it. The battle that took place there was horrible. I've never underestimated my abilities before but after that day I did. I was always the one getting the two out of trouble not into it.
I've tried so many times to thank you for what you did for me that day. Ron, you saved my life and you called it no big deal. You said, and I quote, "you would have done the same thing for me so let's drop it." But for four days later it was obvious that what you had done was a big deal. Harry and I got you back to the house and into your room but all you did was stare at the wall. Your eyes were empty; you weren't with us any longer. I was really frightened that we had lost you. We tried everything; we talked and eventually yelled. Harry even cooked you a meal and brought it up. Nothing helped…until I punched you. You came flying out of that trance quicker than you had gone into it. You broke down sobbing and clutching at the both of us. I've never seen you cry Ronald, and I can honestly say I never want to again. I didn't like it one bit, mister.
When Christmas came around you went home, which left Harry and I at Grimmuald place. The whole house was decked out for a party we never had and never planned. I remember falling asleep on the couch watching the lights twinkle on the eve of Christmas. Our time of rest was too quick and we shortly came back together. I never told you but Harry and I went to visit my parents. He insisted that I should see them. Ron I knew why you went home for Christmas, you wanted one last good-bye, but when I saw my parents I didn't want to let them go.
You were prepared to do what you needed to do. Both of you were. But I wasn't and I don't know if I'll ever be as strong as you and Harry. But I do know that you were right to go home if only to say goodbye. I came back from that trip and I knew that whatever happened next was going to be okay even if it ended all wrong.
I sit here in the kitchen of Grimmauld place and I'm taking it all in. You and Harry are playing a game of exploding snap as I write my letter. Harry's eyebrows are singed and you have burnt marks on your fingers. Can you believe we have been in this house for under a year? It seems like we have been doing this for ages.
We have, haven't we? For seven years now we have been fighting this war. We fought this war before we even knew it existed. What are we going to do after all this ends, Ron? I doubt I even know what it feels like to go for longer than a week without mention of Voldemort, or a piece of his soul or another random death. And I think that is why we acted the way we did during our sixth year, we wanted one year without having to deal with it all, but in reality we were right in the thick of it and we didn't want to be.
I'm sorry for what happened that year. I know that I've told you that about a million times but once more won't hurt, right? I mean you might never hear me say that again. Ron, I don't want to die. I'm scared shitless of what I'm going to miss if I do.
Am I going to miss you falling in love? Am I going to miss Harry finally realizing he is much more than he ever thought he was? And the scary thing is is that you are just as scared as me. I can see it in your eyes. That is a sign on how close we became this year.
Ron, I need to tell you as couple of things…If I die in the battle you need to take care of Harry and you need to take care of yourself. You know that Harry and I became rather close this year and he won't be taking my death too well. I don't want to say too much just you aren't the one reading this. If anything they need to hear all the details from us, in person, and not from a crummy letter. Why again did we agree to this? Oh, right, because he is Harry.
I Love You,
Hermione
Molly took a quick glance over the letter, she noticed the tearstains on the edges and she wasn't sure if they were hers or Hermione's. Quickly she did a recount of all the times over the past year that she had cursed at her son going off with Harry, but she never once thought that Hermione had done the wrong thing. It was so easy to forget that even through all this Hermione wasn't a grown-up. Molly shook her head correcting herself; they were all grown-ups now. Ron, Harry, and Hermione had done more than she could ever have dreamed of doing, and now they were gone. All that was left were their words and that wasn't much comfort.
Ginny took in the words her mother read and she started to shake. This couldn't really be happening, she thought as she glanced around the table. They had to be coming back. Harry was going to make a grand entrance with Hermione and Ron on each side, but each of them wrote like they were dying or worse dead.
"This wasn't supposed to happen. It sounds like they have given up hope." Ginny spoke as she clutched the letter bearing Harry's name on it. "And now I have to read this letter and then the next batch will come. And what! What," she was shouting now. "Will the great hero have to tell us?"
No one moved to comfort the girl they just watched her dissolve into tears. They watched her as she asked the question everyone had been thinking what was the hero going to say? But before they could get to that they knew they were going to have to read what his hero had to say. And the girl that had been assigned that task was on the verge of destruction. Her jumping might all depend on what that letter was going to hold or what it didn't.
Ginny sunk back into her chair as she settled down. Her breathing was raged and she looked at the once non-crinkled letter this just might be the downfall of her childhood dreams. "The day has come when dreaming ends," she thought as she turned the letter over. Hermione had made her watch the movie Moulin Rouge before Bill's wedding and the quote came swimming into her mind as she stared at the seal.
"Opening it doesn't mean the end of the world," Remus spoke up from his chair. "I know because I've open two already," the thing that struck Ginny as she looked up at her former professor was that he didn't seem sad, he seemed a little lost but not sad.
Carefully she broke the seal. No one noticed the clock on the mantel in the living room starting to move. Well actually it didn't move but one of its hands did: Hermione went from Mortal Peril to Traveling to Mortal Peril. And the house was silent as all eyes were glued on Ginny, all eyes but those eyes of the twinkling portrait of Dumbledore.
Harry,
There are so many things I wish to tell you, but the words can't be formed. And I don't know if it is the oath we took to not talk about some stuff or if it is the lump I get in my throat every time I think about those things.
When I was six I read a book called, "The Hobbit," for the first time. Now I know Ron and you would say that "Hogwarts A History," Is my favorite book but you would be wrong. I love "The Hobbit" and have since that first time I opened its pages. Why am I telling you this, you might ask. Well I wanted you to know that all this year I didn't turn to that book anymore when I needed comfort, instead I turned to you.
You have had a major impact on my life, and it was because of you and Ron that I have stopped fully living in the world of books. Heck, Ron and you have even gotten me to play Quidditch once or twice this year. You, Harry, have had my friendship and love for as long as I can remember, and now as I write this letter I'm afraid to let you know that I know.
They call me the smartest witch in a century. They tell me there had never been a spell invented I haven't been able to perform, but you know they are wrong. I can't take someone's life. That is one spell I've tried and failed at and I'm proud of that. You taught me to be proud of that. During the time that Ron wigged out we started talking about what it would be like to not have to worry about any of this. I have to say it was the furthest thing from my mind at that moment but you said we needed to talk. Casually you brought up my falter, I was desperately hoping no one had noticed, but what was I thinking of course you noticed.
You took the time to listen to my random thoughts as I tried to explain what had happened. I froze up, I failed, and I did it knowingly. And right then and there I dissolved, but you brought me back. You said, "I can't lose the both of you." That is when I gave up letting Ron be in a trance and punched him. So much of our lives, this year, have focused on this moment, at least for me.
Why is it that we always realize the important things when someone is hurt? I can remember first year, when Dumbledore brought you to the hospital wing, after you defeated Voldemort and I was scared shitless that I was going to lose you. And I had just found you. I remember begging Madame Pomfrey to let me stay the night but she wouldn't so I snuck in as the first light of day crept into the hospital wing. I think she was amused to see me sitting there when she came out to check on you not an hour later. But during that hour I sat and talked to you and told you so many things, none of which you remembered when you woke up.
I told you that you weren't allowed to leave me. I couldn't bear the thought of living my life without you and I was only eleven and we had just begun to become true best friends. So I talked and you listened and then I got kicked out of the hospital wing but not before I promised that I would always be there for you. I didn't put that in our bottles of memories because I didn't feel that it needed to be said anymore, once was enough to make it true in my mind. And so I never left you again.
We go to Hogwarts in a couple of days and you already know that everything has been ready ever since the first night in this house. We all sleep with clothes on and bags at the edges of our beds. We are so sensitive to sounds during night that it makes sleeping hard. So we have all spent many nights up in this kitchen. Sometimes we would argue and other times we would play a game of exploding snap and other times we would just sit cradling cups of tea waiting for the dawn to come.
Tonight might be another one of those nights; though tonight we will all pretend to sleep. But I know that somehow we will find each other at some point or another. I'll come to your room or you to mine and Ron will follow shortly after and we will all fall asleep just knowing that we have each other and that we are all okay.
What about when all of this is through? Will we still have the sleepless nights? Will there be even more of them? Harry what are you going to do once you don't know what your future holds? What are we going to become when this battle has been fought?
I like to think we will all go back to leading quiet lives. I like to think that I would finish school and maybe even pester you and Ron to join me. After all Hogwarts isn't Hogwarts without you two. I just want you to know that whatever you decide I'll be there supporting you and giving you the love and support you need to make it through the hard times that are going to come even after we have won.
You have my soul,
Hermione
Ginny let the short letter fall to the ground as the tears spilt from her eyes. She had never loved Harry like that and she knew she never could. Gradually she regained her composure and pushed away from George who had somehow been hugging her while she cried. She had all the love she needed right here in this room and that was what was going to help her get over the hurt of knowing she had been foolish in trying to love Harry.
Remus watched yet another heart break because of the war; he looked towards Professor McGonagall and the portrait of Professor Dumbledore. Not many had even guessed the full extent of their relationship but because he was a werewolf he could sense some things. They too had lost much during this war; they had lost each other. And he wasn't talking about them being lovers, in fact he never wanted to think about that, but he was talking about their closeness as friends.
"You know I think that tomorrow we should clean out Grimmauld place. Well at least of some of their stuff." Everyone turned to look at him and he smiled. "After all they can't live there for the rest of their lives it is a hell hole."
"Not all hope is lost just some is misplaced," Tonks said as she gave Remus a kiss when she noticed he was smiling. Four more letters left and what each of them said was going to be a rollercoaster of emotions to the person reading and the people listening. They were all ready though because hope had been misplaced and it would be found in those letters. After all Harry is the hero of this story.
-->