Carys stepped from the shower and wrapped a towel around her slim form. She wrapped another one around her hair and stepped in front of the mirror. She wiped away the steam with one hand, and stared at herself intently. What did she see? Even she didn't know. She couldn't tell what she was.
Was she good? Someone who would die for her friends? Someone who would sacrifice herself to save those that she loved? Someone who didn't care what happened to her as long as the objective was completed? Who would lay down her life for a cause she believed in?
Or was she evil? Would she let her friends and family be killed so that she could live? Would she let terrible things happen just so that she didn't have to suffer? Would she brutally murder others who didn't believe in the same things she did?
She hoped she was the first. And feared that she was the second. She knew, if she looked hard enough, that she would see both things in her. She'd never been tested, and that was half the problem. She didn't know how she would react, because a situation like that had never arisen. She hadn't ever been able to find out which person she was. The person in the prophecy, or the person she truly wanted to be.
Angry at both nothing and everything, she slammed the side of her fist into the mirror. It didn't break, though she almost wished it had. Taking deep breaths to calm herself, she stared at her hands. No, she didn't believe that those hands could ever torture and kill the people she loved. She had to hold on to that.
Methodically, she took the towel from her hair and picked up her blow dryer. There were drying charms she could have used, but she liked the Muggle way better. Most times it was so she could keep one of the boys out of the bathroom longer, but at that particular moment, she needed time to herself. And she knew Noah and Sebastian. They wouldn't leave her alone until they couldn't keep their eyes open anymore.
She turned it on and flipped her head over, grateful that even some small part of her brain could be occupied for a minute amount of time. She'd cut herself shaving half a dozen times because she hadn't been paying attention. Nothing helpful about that.
She squeezed her eyes closed, and fought the tears with every ounce of her being. She didn't want to cry anymore. She wasn't going to let them win. She wasn't going to give in and admit that even she didn't know for sure that she wouldn't turn into that person. She could almost always feel the licks of longing inside of her. That told her all she had to do was let go and embrace the reason her family existed. That all she had to do was escape from them. And then it would be easier. It wouldn't be a struggle to be good. It wouldn't hurt so badly to know that all it would take was one shove and she'd topple over the edge.
Her hair dry, Carys dressed slowly in flannel pajamas she'd stolen from Sebastian the previous Christmas. She swam in them, but they were warm and comfortable, and always managed to smell like her best friend. It made going to sleep easier to know that either he or Noah was close. A pair of Noah's pajamas was in her bottom drawer. He'd given them to her after Luna had presented them. Bright pink and dotted with orange Quaffles and large golden Snitches. He'd immediately despised them and handed them over the first chance he got. She didn't care for them terribly, but she wore them on a regular basis, never failing to get laughs from her roommates both at school, home and in their apartment.
Tying her hair back into a loose bun, she deposited her towel in the laundry basket, noted that she needed to do laundry, and walked into her bedroom. She found her father sitting at her desk, casually flipping through a book on the History of Magical Photography. He was looking extremely bored.
"Daddy, what are you doing here?" Carys gave in to a very juvenile urge and climbed into her father's lap, resting her head against his chest. He'd been her living pillow since birth, always there to soothe away a nightmare or dry tears over one thing or another. She needed him right then more than she ever had before.
Draco's arms surrounded his daughter, and he buried his face in her hair for a moment, wishing she was still five and he could make it all better by simply kissing a scraped knee or getting her a bowl of ice cream. "Sebastian came to see me. He told me about the prophecy. I figured you could use me about now."
Carys hugged her father tightly, pulled her legs in closer to her body so all of her was in his lap. Draco covered her feet with one hand, both to keep them warm since she'd forgotten socks, and to anchor her. "I should have gone to tell you."
"You should have had me here when you opened the damn thing, Carys." He sighed. "I'm sorry, baby. I can see you're hurting, and I don't like it. Look, I never told anyone this. Not even your mother, or Harry, or Hermione or Ron. Especially not Luna. But I think you need to hear it."
He'd gotten her interest. Carys burrowed closer. "What is it?"
"Why I left my father and Voldemort."
"Because you couldn't do it. You couldn't be like them."
"Partly. Carys, I was like them. I was evil, and I liked it. I didn't care about anyone, or anything other than myself. I hated my family, and I don't mean the Malfoys. I mean the family I have now, at home. Mom and all the rest. I despised them. I was willing to help my father and Voldemort kill every last one of them. And I would have enjoyed it."
"Then what happened? What changed you?"
"It started with Dumbledore. You've heard the story, it's in every history book that's been written in the last twenty some years. I was supposed to kill him. It was my mission, the first I was given as a Death Eater. At the time, I thought it was a great honor. No one else had been assigned the same…caliber of work before. I tried the entire year, making half-assed attempts at taking him down. And they never worked, mainly because I never wanted them to.
"I didn't like Dumbledore. It's safe to say I fairly hated the man. But he always gave me a chance to not be what my father expected me to be. To be me. And I didn't want to hurt him. Snape let everyone believe that I had killed him. I was heralded as the next great dark wizard. I was a hero among the Death Eaters. I took my place at Voldemort's left hand. And my father took me to the Department of Mysteries. He showed me two prophecies, both that had to do with me. One was branching from the killing of Dumbledore, and the other was coming from if I hadn't. In the one, I took over. I was the Dark King. Everyone worshipped me, and I ruled the wizarding world. I was like God, Carys, and it was so tempting to follow that path that I can still taste it.
"But to get there, I had to kill everyone I knew. And that scared me. I would have had to kill all my mentors, all those that had instructed me in wizardry. I had to lose myself, give myself completely over to the black and let it rule me. I had to stop being Draco Lucius Malfoy, and start being pure evil. That was what eventually got to me. It was that that I couldn't do.
"And the other one. Well, it was different. I died. I didn't kill Voldemort, I ran and escaped from the Death Eaters, and joined the Order. I died in the Final Battle, fighting beside Harry and Dumbledore. And they won." Draco looked down at his first born, knew exactly how she felt. "Carys, I couldn't do it. I couldn't let go of who I was."
"But you're still alive, and Dumbledore's dead. Neither prophecy came true."
"Exactly. Carys, if my father hadn't shown me those prophecies, I would probably fulfilled the first one. Because I wouldn't have realized it until it was too late. By showing them to me, my father basically nullified it. The power was tempting, enough that it's still hard for me to believe I didn't take it, but I couldn't give away my soul. I couldn't stop being myself. Prophecies aren't set in stone. And sometimes, just by learning of their existence, they are negated. If you know the future, you can stop it. Look at Voldemort. He made Harry his worst enemy. By believing the prophecy and choosing Harry, he wrote his own downfall. He made it come true. If he hadn't seen it and believed it, it wouldn't have. There's a reason that the Department of Mysteries isn't open to the public. No one can tell the future. No one. And that prophecy they gave you, even if it was going to come true, knowing about it can stop it."
Carys was fighting years. "I'm scared, Daddy." She whispered, holding on to her father. "I'm so scared that I'm not as strong as you. That I can't stop it."
Draco rocked his daughter, desperate to make the hurt go away. "I know you are. It is scary. And it's a hard fight. You're too much like me. It will always tempt you, Carys. Tease and tempt you. And it's in refusing it that you make yourself into a stronger person. That you battle back the dark and keep doing what your heart tells you is right. You're stronger than you think you are." He sighed. "You're stronger than I've let you discover you are. I'm always going to be here for you, baby. For anything that you need. I love you. I fell in love with you the very second your mother told me she was pregnant for you. And nineteen years later, I just love you more. And maybe because of that, I've kept you sheltered and protected from everything bad. And that was a mistake."
Carys shook her head. "No. You're a great father. You raised me to be strong and independent and self sufficient, and brave and determined."
Draco nodded sadly. "I did. And then I never let you be any of those things. I have to let you know, sweetheart. And it isn't going to be easy. And when the battle against Desdemona comes, you're going to be tempted to go with her and let her teach you." He whispered in her ear. "But all you have to do, baby girl, is let love pull you back."
He sat there with her, rocking and soothing until she fell asleep. Then, as years of parenting had taught him, he lifted her effortlessly and laid her in bed, covered her up, kissed her forehead, and left the room. As predicted, Sebastian was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking what looked to be his fourth pot of coffee.
"You should have gone to bed."
"Not until I know she's going to be okay. Want coffee?"
Draco nodded. "I'm going to want your couch as well. I don't want her left alone tonight. And no offense to your nightmare techniques-"
"But you're her father and you've been doing it much longer than me. I know. You can have my room. I'll sleep on the couch."
Draco sat down at the table while Sebastian filled up a mug with coffee and put another pot on to perk. "She'll be all right I think. You should have told me."
Sebastian sat the mug in front of Draco. "I didn't think it would be that bad."
"A Death Eater throws a prophecy orb at my daughter, says `see your future, witch' and you don't think it's anything to worry about?"
"I should have told you, I know that. But she was determined to do it herself." Sebastian sighed, dropped his head into his hands. "I can't stand to see her hurt, Uncle Draco. I just can't take it. And when she screamed, I felt my heart bleed."
Draco decided to have sympathy for the boy. "I know the feeling. Sebastian, she's going to need your help. I don't want her left alone, period. You're with her in training, you've already been paired as partners. She doesn't need to think about that prophecy."
Sebastian's head came up. "You think it's real, don't you?"
"I'm pretty sure that it is." He laughed bitterly. "I had basically the same one. I imagine if you found one of the twins, it would pretty much be the same thing. Yours probably isn't all rainbows and sunshine either. No one's is, Sebastian. It's when people get to see them, and they don't think there's another choice that prophecies come true."
"Like Voldemort and Dad."
"Exactly. Carys half thinks that she doesn't get a say in what happens in her life now. She does. We all do. Nothing is prewritten. We all get our own shot to do what we want with our lives. There isn't a set path that each of us has. Nothing is for sure. And it was very, very hard for your father to admit that. It's going to be just as hard for Carys."
"What about you?"
Draco laughed. "Me? Well, let's just say that I managed to escape it by running scared. I had two, Sebastian. One like hers, and one where I did the opposite. Where Dumbledore wasn't killed, and I died fighting with him and Harry. Neither was reality. Reality was something completely off of both. Dumbledore is dead, I did fight the final battle, but I'm still here to tell about it. But seeing those prophecies, made me realize that I couldn't keep doing what I was. It made me run from what I had always been told was my destiny. And by learning that that was very well what could have happened to me made me run from it and create my own path. One that was never predicted for me. She'll do the same."
Sebastian looked his godfather in the eye. "There's something you need to know."
Draco lifted one eyebrow. "Oh? And what's that?"
"I'm in love with your daughter."
The answer that came shocked Sebastian. "I know you are. I've known for a long time. Probably before you knew."
"How?" Sebastian sputtered, hurriedly guzzling his coffee.
"The same way I knew your parents had fallen for each other before they realized it. The way you look at her. Like she's the only person in the world that matters."
"And you aren't skinning me alive?"
Draco shook his head. "Why would I do that? Sebastian, I love you as much as I love my own children. I'm not real vocal about my feelings, but I haven't ever been. Your father and I had an interesting conversation about you and Carys not too long ago."
"WHAT!" Sebastian was shocked by that even more than he was uncomfortable with the conversation being held. "You and Dad talked about it?"
"He told me that he thought you were falling for her. It was last year, and I think you were both in between play things. He said you had started looking at her less like she was a member of your family, and more like she was your favorite food."
Sebastian felt his face redden. He hadn't been embarrassed that badly in the whole of his life. "I don't - I've never-" he decided to shut up before he made Draco angry.
"I know you haven't. Which is why you're still alive. As far as I'm aware, and I promise you that my awareness when it comes to my daughter in unending, no one has."
That was news to Sebastian. He'd always thought - that wasn't important. He needed to concentrate on the matter at hand. "And does she-"
"Like you back?" At Sebastian's nod, he continued. "I don't know. I think so. But I also think that she's hiding it from herself. Or that she thinks you don't so she isn't willing to admit it. Not even to her mother. And she tells Ginny everything." Draco closed his eyes in pain. "Some things, though, I really wish Ginny would keep to herself when it comes to Carys. Because some things, a father just doesn't want to know."
Sebastian had a fair idea what he was talking about, but didn't want Draco to divulge any awkward knowledge about Carys. "Would you mind if I…"
Draco finished that thought too. "Pursued a relationship?" he shook his head. "No. At least I trust you, which is more than I can say for any other male that isn't related to her. Your brothers excluded, though they're too young for her." Draco finished his coffee. "Go get some sleep, Sebastian. And don't worry. This conversation stay between us." He said, anticipating Sebastian's next sentence. "And perhaps your father."
Unwilling to make Draco reconsider, Sebastian headed down the hall. "Night."
Draco let himself smile as he heard the boy's door close. He really liked that kid.
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