Chapter 3: Victories & Losses
Draco awoke with a start in the middle of the night, cold sweat covering his body, his sheets damp and chilly. He had had a nightmare, like every night in the last few weeks, since he had been given these two assignments. The girl and the attacks.
He looked around the dark room, a feeling of fear and guilt running rampid in his mind. The moon shone outside, casting an odd silvery light, a twilight zone feeling that surrounded him and engulfed the whole room.
Shadows were everywhere, frightening him, even though he knew what they were in daylight.
The screams were still ringing in his ears. In his dreams they always screamed, all the victims. But the screams that tore his heart the most were the girl's.
The ones that he actually heard everyday, the ones that he caused everyday. The others were still to come. His first mission, the first attack, it was tomorrow. Or today, after all he didn't know what time it was right now.
It would all be over tomorrow, doom would be upon him. Once he launched the attack, he would be stuck with them forever, doomed to follow the path of darkness till all eternity, to the gates of hell and back if it need be. Once he crossed the point of no return.
Tonight was the last night he would be free, the night before he would have to do the unthinkable.
But it didn't have to be, he thought to himself.
All he had to do was get up and walk through the corridors, walk to Lucius` bedroom and end it there, end it forever.
All he had to do was take Lucius` dagger from his chest of drawers and plunge it into his heart, his cold heart and stop it from beating ever again. And he would be free.
Draco sat up in his bed and slowly put his feet on the cold floor of his bedroom, shuddering slightly as his feet touched the ground. It was necessary, it was his last chance - his last chance to do what he should have done long ago.
He walked through the room, towards the door and out into the corridor. The manor was dark and moonshine was the only light around, shadows lurking in the corners, shadows that seemed to be creeping, but he walked on.
The feeling of unreality was all around, he almost felt as if he was watching somebody else walking through the large halls of Malfoy Manor. All was still; only his soft footsteps were heard around the empty hallways.
His feet seemed to direct him towards Lucius` bedroom with a will of their own. The door drew nearer with every step he took until he was standing right before it.
His hand trembled as he opened the door, no sound being heard, nobody being awoken.
The enchanted dagger Lucius carried around everywhere he went and never left apart from when he went to sleep, was lying on the antique chest of drawers beside the bed, its silvery blade reflecting the moonlight and gleaming with a terrifying beauty, luring Draco to take it and do what he had come to do, so that he could live.
He reached out and took it, holding his breath as his fingers first touched the ice-cold silver. He moved to the bed and looked at Lucius as he was lying there, sleeping, breathing peacefully in a steady rhythm.
His father looked younger when he was sleeping, Draco thought suddenly. He looked different - peaceful and almost innocent. Little did he know the danger he was in, the danger that was coming from his own son.
Draco closed his eyes in agony and tried to force down the feelings that surged through him but it was too late. He looked at his father and he knew he couldn't do it, no matter how much he wanted to, no matter how much he needed to.
There was still a tiny part in him that loved his father, as much as it was possible for him to love. A part that loved him despite everything he had done to him and everything he would still do to him. He loved him for the sole reason that he was his father and that overruled all the hatred and all the contempt he felt towards him.
Draco suppressed a sob and put the dagger back into its place while he retreated from his father's bedroom. Tears started streaming down his face as he made his way back to his rooms. So the old man had really got to him at last - tonight Lucius hadn't done anything and still gained his biggest victory over Draco.
He started running down the corridor, wanting nothing more than to get back into his bed so that he could pull the covers over his head and forget his weakness and his failure. Finally Draco reached his rooms.
He closed the door behind him and sealed his fate.
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Meanwhile, down in the dungeons, Ginny lay awake on her shabby and dirty old mattress, staring into the light of the small magical lamp, which was hanging from the ceiling. She briefly wondered what her family would be doing right now, but her thoughts were in turmoil so much lately, she couldn't hold on to any comforting thoughts any longer.
She didn't know how long she had been here, held captive in these dungeons. But it must have been for quite a while already, and it seemed like an eternity to her.
She had never felt so alone in her life, not even in her first year at Hogwarts and she had never felt so utterly hopeless before.
There was always pain, this place seemed to be radiating it, and it wasn't only her body that was hurting, her soul was hurting so much more. Sometimes she thought she heard screams from outside, from the other cells, but then she realized that she was the person screaming.
He came to her everyday, whenever she finally started to feel a little bit better, just when the immense pain seemed to ebb off a little bit, he was there again.
And then it continued, an endless circle of pain and relief, an endless circle of despair and hope. But it was getting worse every time he came, and the despair grew. She ceased to hope that it would be someone coming to stop the pain, whenever she heard footsteps outside.
It was always him, only once it had been Lucius again but that had been even worse than the other times, when Draco came.
She couldn't see how she would ever get out of this place, they would never let her go, they would surely kill her before they would ever let her walk out into the sun again. She would never see her family again.
But maybe death wouldn't be so bad. After all it would end the pain and the suffering that never let go of her.
Ginny thought of an endless darkness where she wouldn't have to feel ever again, and this comforting thought put her to sleep at last.
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Early in the morning, Draco woke up with a headache. He continued to lie in bed for a while and looked out into the pouring rain outside, the sky was now grey and clouded, hanging deep over the Malfoy lands.
He looked out of the balcony door onto the vast green fields outside, steam rising from them, and the only thing he felt was exhaustion. He had missed the last exit and had given away his last opportunity to escape the darkness.
With all the power he could muster, he dismissed all thoughts of last night.
At last, Draco got up reluctantly. He still had to prepare for the attack tonight. The Dark Lord had wanted him to draw a lot of attention to his attacks and Draco thought that attacking a high profile but not overly protected target would be the best way to catapult them into the headlines.
An attack on the wizards that they all thought well protected, would shock the wizarding society and let them know that they were out there. And that nobody could know who would be next.
First he had to do his daily round with the girl though, since he probably wouldn't be able to see to her tonight or tomorrow.
Draco got ready and spent some time trying to swallow some food that tasted of nothing. He was clearly nervous about tonight and cursed himself for that, he seemed to become some sort of weakling lately.
He couldn't afford that at all right now, if he made a mistake tonight, he would be dead faster than he could say "Lord Voldemort". If he failed or got caught his slow demise would be guaranteed.
"Get your act together, Draco" he told himself and made his way to the dungeons.
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Ginny woke up abruptly as she heard someone approaching. She knew what it meant; she knew what was coming. She started to cry before the door even opened, strangled sounds escaping from her mouth as she lost control over herself, fear and panic taking over and wiping away all thoughts.
And then, Draco walked into the cell, his mouth twisted into a cruel smile.
"Why are you always crying, little girl? It's not as if anyone's going to hear you down here. You are all alone here, forsaken..." Draco said and knelt down to touch the girl's cheek. She shuddered away from his hand, and he smiled at her mockingly.
"You know that I'm the only one who can help you. I am the person who rules over you, I am the one who decides your fate," he whispered into her ear as he stroked her hair with false gentleness, causing her to shiver violently as if she knew what was coming. She probably did though, considering what she had experienced those last weeks.
"Why don't you just kill me and get it over with?" the girl said suddenly, surprising Draco, because she normally never spoke, apart from the begging when he entered the dungeons.
He gripped her hair hard, and yanked her head upwards.
"Look into my eyes, girl. This is far from over - on the contrary, it is only the beginning."
He pulled her roughly by the hair to the back wall of the cell, muttered a single curse and the chains that were hanging from it, fastened around her wrists and ankles.
Panic washed through Ginny as she desperately tried to break free from the chains. It wasn't possible, she could barely move and every time she threw herself forward the chains yanked her back hard, causing her head to hit the stonewall with a loud thud.
She didn't stop trying though; she couldn't stop because she had no rational thought anymore. It was all about surviving. She didn't feel the pain that she was inflicting on herself, and she didn't notice the blood running down her neck from the wounds on the back of her head. All she knew was that she had to free herself, free herself at all costs...
Draco just looked at the girl's futile attempts at freeing herself. Even if she ever escaped the dungeons, she would never escape the manor. Lucius had put a locating and a bonding spell on her, that made sure Draco always knew where she was.
And what was more unpleasant, he even knew what she felt, he could feel some of it himself, making it possible for him to wait for the moments when she felt relief from the pain, when hope returned, only to have him destroy it again.
Draco felt bitterness rising up in him; he knew Lucius had done that spell for several reasons. One was a tactical reason - Draco would be able to torture her better when he knew her feelings. The other one was that he would always know what pain he was inflicting - this one was meant to torment Draco.
He gripped her throat and stopped the girl from banging her head against the wall. He choked her until her face started to take a purple colouring and threw her back against the stone. She slid down the wall, blood running out of her nose and adding to the bloodstains on her dirty robes. Her eyes were glazed and unfocussed but she was still conscious.
Draco pulled a small knife out of his robes and knelt down next to the girl. The knife looked harmless and not very sharp, but it was an enchanted blade. The smallest cut from that knife left a burning wound that made you feel like your whole body was burning up. It gave you a fever that brought along hallucinations of terror and death that would last for days.
Draco slashed it across the girl's chest with one swift movement, hard enough to draw blood.
Her eyes instantly became focussed again and she cried out in agony, her screams ripping through him as he felt a burning sensation on his chest. It didn't mirror the real pain of the blade in the least, it was just meant to serve as a reminder of what he had done...
The girl was twisting in front of him now, trying to reach her chest with her hands, trying to dig out what seemed to be eating her from the inside. The chains were too short though. She couldn't reach the cut, but she continued twisting and turning and she would do so until she would faint from exhaustion.
Draco walked out, ignoring the nagging pain in his chest. Now all he could do was wait for tonight.
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Draco was standing on the balcony of his bedroom, watching a pale moon rising in the eastern sky, breathing in deeply to take in the fresh and cool air, a soft wind playing with his air and ruffling his robes.
He was wearing black tonight. Darkness was falling rapidly and the air cooled off as the sun set behind the hills, the western sky glowing crimson, while shadows crept across the land, alive in the imagination of those who fear the night, welcomed by those who dwell in darkness.
Draco spread his arms, letting the cool breeze float over his body, his senses sharpening, the wind reviving his spirit as he enjoyed the amazing feeling of freedom.
The sun and the moon would not cease to exist because of his fate, they cared not for one small human like Draco Malfoy, and the world would still be turning when they were all long gone.
How could he ever have thought, he would be able to face the tide and fight a destiny that had been determined even before his birth?
He spun on his heels, his black robes whirling behind him, and walked through his quarters down to the entrance hall.
Five figures were standing in the hall waiting for Draco, all dressed in the same dark attire as him, invisibility cloaks at the ready. All six put on their cloaks and apparated into Muggle London.
They walked the streets in silence, invisible to any human eye, both muggle and wizard. That night the shadows were truly alive, and the dangers lurking in them were real. They moved through the streets swiftly until they suddenly stopped.
They stood in the middle of a deserted street and looked onto a redbrick, old-fashioned department store, which had "Closed for Refurbishment" signs on its doors. A large signature said "Purge and Dowse, Ltd.", the letters faded from time and weather.
The building looked run down to anyone who didn't know what this building really held, to anyone who didn't know magic.
A front window held a creature that gave people the permission to enter, if they had business within the building.
The six had business. A small flickering of a wand, and the creature winced in pain, not knowing where it came from or how to stop it, and the men entered the building through the window. A silencing charm made sure the screams of the creature went unheard.
The reception area was almost deserted at this time of night, only a few lamps were on and the receptionist was the only person in the room, half asleep in her chair. The woman didn't notice anything as the Death Eaters moved passed her to the stairs at the side of the hall.
Draco felt the blood rushing through his veins, as he led the men through St. Mungo's, his heart beating violently in his chest, but the thought of someone hearing it only thrilled him more.
Excitement, fear and terror were fighting relentlessly in his very being, as he knew there was no way back anymore, now that it had started. The pieces had started to fall into place.
They moved up the stairs and passed several floors until they reached a door that read "Spell Damage" on it - the fourth floor.
The long-residents ward was behind these doors, and the targets were too. They walked through the door and towards ward 49.
Draco held his wand clutched tightly in his right hand, wiping off his sweaty left hand on his invisibility cloak.
At that moment a man, dressed in the lime green robes of the hospital staff, walked out of a ward on Draco's left. The man's eyes widened in terror as he saw the single hand in the air and he opened his mouth to scream.
Draco knew that the man had seen it. He knew from the look on his face that the man realized the situation. And he knew it was his mistake, he had been unfocussed and nervous - it was his duty to react, to secure the success of the mission and to make up for his lack of concentration.
There was only one thing he could do now - kill the witness. His arm shot up and he muttered the words, before the man could scream and betray their presence. The healer fell to the ground, instantly dead.
The man's eyes remained open though and continued to stare at Draco, burning themselves into his soul forever at that very moment.
Draco felt something breaking in himself, and another part of him took over, acting out what he had planned earlier, with almost mechanical precision. It was the only way he would ever be able to see this through.
The Death Eaters opened the door to ward 49, which had five people lying in it, sleeping in their beds. They put a silencing charm on the ward and killed three of the people instantly as they were not important for them.
Draco motioned his men to wake the other two up, they couldn't die in their sleep, the terror in their faces had to be visible for the tales and for the reports in the Daily Prophet.
The Longbottoms opened their eyes slowly, not comprehending the situation.
They didn't recognize who the attackers were, but Draco ordered one of the dark-clad men to refresh their memory. The Cruciatus curse made them convulse in their beds and look at them in fear. Then they yanked them from their beds while they screamed, a mindless whaling that sent shivers down Draco's spine.
Alice Longbottom lunged at the Death Eaters as the pulled her out of her bed; she tried to bite and spit at them, struggling against being overpowered. Another Cruciatus sent her to the floor though, twitching and vomiting as she lost control over her body.
Her husband was thrown against the wall, and fixed against it by one of the men who plunged sharp blades into the wall, through the crying man's hands.
At that moment Draco felt as if he was going to vomit any minute. He couldn't take it anymore, they had to end it there; it was enough.
"Kill them now" he hissed to his men and watched them perform the killing curse.
They walked out the same way they had come in, stepping over the body of the healer on the way out.
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Back at the manor, Draco was desperate to take a shower. He dismissed the Death Eaters and stormed off to his rooms, starting to rip off his clothes as he got into his quarters. He stayed in the shower for more than an hour, trying to wash off the pain and the dirt that he felt on himself. It didn't work.
He went out onto the balcony where he had stood earlier that night to feel the wind against his skin again, hoping it would take away the memory and the shame, bringing back the sense of freedom he had felt earlier. It didn't though.
He screamed out loud as emptiness filled his heart, and the wind carried his screams away.
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