Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again
Summary: HBP Spoilers! The final battle turned out well, but also bad. The Light side was victorious, but it came at a price. It ended at the cost of many lives, including the Chosen One. Harry Potter left behind so many, his wife, his son and daughter, his friends, and the world that named him savior of the wizarding world. It's been almost five years since the fall of the Dark Arts, and one who has never really gotten over Harry's death goes to visit him one snowy morning.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or the song, Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again from the Phantom of the Opera (awesome movie and soundtrack!!).
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She made her way through the snow-covered cemetery, walking the familiar path to his grave. Her long, dark blue velvet dress and black cloak stood out against the white earth. The sky reflected her mood, gray and dreary. She figured it might snow again soon. Usually her mind was always running with things that she had to remember, except the minute she set foot in the cemetery, all the other worries went away, and all that she could think about was Harry. Soon, in the distance, she saw the grave marked, Potter. She took a deep breath to stop the tears about to form. As she got closer, her mind was flung back in space to the day that she lost her husband forever.
Ron called to his friend, who was standing among the lifeless bodies that littered the ground.
"Hermione!" Hermione slowly turned, and she looked pale and about ready to collapse from exhaustion. Ron ran to her, and held an arm around her to keep her from falling. Ron said,
"He's gone, Hermione. Voldemort's gone." Hermione smiled weakly, and said,
"Where's Harry?"
"I don't know."
"I saw him right before he sent the killing curse, but after the flash of green light, he disappeared, he…" She trailed off, and regaining her strength, pulled away from her friend and ran over to where her husband was standing moments before. She got closer, and saw a body with messy black hair, and her heart was caught in her throat.
"No, he can't be dead, please God, no." She reached Harry, and fell to her knees. It looked like he had been blasted back by a spell and hit his head on a rock. The back of his head was bleeding freely. If he had hit it just right, he would be dead soon if he wasn't already. She said tearfully,
"Harry. Harry, please don't be dead." The tears rolled down her cheeks, and she cradled his head in her hand and pulled the upper half of his body onto her lap. With tremendous effort, Harry said weakly,
"I'm not dead, Hermione. Not yet."
"Oh thank God, Harry. You're alive!"
"But not for long."
"Don't say that, you're going to get better, we'll take you to the hospital wing at Hogwarts since it's closer. Madam Pomfrey still has that bed reserved for you since you always were in there." Harry smiled.
"It's no use, Hermione. I'm going to die, no matter what you say."
"You can't die, Harry. You can't. What about Blake and Lily? How am I going to tell them that their Daddy's never coming back?"
"You'll find a way. They'll be fine. They've still got you."
"What will I do without you?"
"You'll be fine, too. You're independent, you'll be alright."
"I love you."
"I love you too. I'll miss you, `Mione, but we'll be together again someday. Look at it this way; I get to see my parents, Sirius, Dumbledore, and all the people that have died. Who else died today?"
"It's best you don't know."
"Probably. But I'm excited. I finally get to meet my parents, I get to see Sirius again, I haven't seen him since I was fifteen. And Dumbledore, haven't seen him since I was sixteen."
"You're right, I shouldn't be selfish."
"You're not being selfish, Hermione, I've never known you to be. But…you have to let me go."
"Harry, don't…"
"Hermione, promise me something."
"Anything."
"I want you to promise…promise that you'll go on living…that the twins will grow up…and…that you won't dwell on my death too much."
"Harry, I can't…"
"Promise?"
"But…"
"Hermione, promise me."
"I promise."
Soon after, Harry breathed his last breath, leaving Hermione with a sadness that she had never known before. Well, she had never lost a husband before. She screamed in agony and ran her hands through her hair, she sobbed loudly. She didn't remember how she got back home, or remember anything else from that day, like how she told her son and daughter the news.
You were once my one companion
you were all that mattered.
You were once a friend and husband
then my world was shattered.
She had never taken death very well. Especially the death of someone who had been killed, or of someone who wasn't supposed to die in the first place. After Harry had died, Hermione's mother came to stay with her for a while to help her through her grief, but Hermione never fully healed. Which was why she was still making weekly visits to the cemetery. She remembered a conversation she had with her mother one morning, before Blake and Lily woke up, when it was just her mother and her at the kitchen table.
"I just wish it was all a dream. That I'll wake up some morning, and see him next to me. Or that I'll come downstairs and find him outside already with the twins."
"Most people feel that way when a loved one dies. It's natural to feel this way, Hermione."
"I know. I wish I could see him again. I remember before the battle, I told him that I wish to see him laugh again. I mean, like a true laugh. The ones that come from people with no worries, no problem in the back of their minds."
"I'm sure he's thinking the same thing about you, I'm sure he wants to see you laugh, to see you smile. I don't think I've seen you smile once since the funeral."
"My husband's dead, Mum, it's not exactly something to laugh or smile about."
"Yes, Harry's dead, but you're not. You still have your life; you still have Blake and Lily. Having your children is the best cure for getting over the death of a spouse, because you have that part of them in your children. You still have part of Harry in your son and daughter."
"It's not the same…"
"I know it's not the same, but it's the next best thing to having Harry back."
Wishing you were somehow here again.
Wishing you were somehow near.
Sometimes it seemed,
if I just dreamed,
somehow you would be here.
Hermione always felt a little guilt every time she came back to the cemetery. She had broken her promise she made to Harry on the day he died. She had promised to move on with life, to not dwell on his death. She thought of this every time she came back, but no matter how much she tried, she couldn't move on. Granted, she was doing better than she had five years ago, she smiled more, she spent more time with her children, and she lived a normal life most of the time. But she still made the regular trips to her husband's grave. She knew that no matter how much she hoped he would come back, he never would. She wouldn't ever see him in the morning, while they talked over a few cups of coffee. She reached the grave and wiped a little snow off of the stone and sat down next to where his body lay, on the place that one day she would rest.
Wishing I could hear your voice again
knowing that I never would.
Dreaming of you won't help me to do
all that you dreamed I could.
She sighed and leaned against the stone, looking around at the other graves in the cemetery. So cold, unfeeling, and dull, so unlike Harry. It started to snow lightly and she looked down at where his body lay, and said,
"Hey. I'm back, yet again. I know I promised not to dwell on all this, but if it had been me that died instead of you, how would you take it? Anyways, Lily and Blake are fine, I keep getting owls from McGonagall at least once a week telling me of the mischief they've been causing. Like I've said before, I think they're taking the place of the Marauders. Every day, Blake looks more and more like you. It just amazes me. And Lily, she's growing up too fast, she's getting too smart, even for me. There's stuff she tells me that she's read somewhere that I never knew. Ron says it's the combination of both of our intelligence. It wasn't for nothing that they gave us the Head Boy and Girl badges; if we had gone to Hogwarts that last year."
Passing bells
and sculpted angels,
cold and monumental,
seem for you, the wrong companions;
you were warm and gentle.
"I found a photo album the other day. I shouldn't have looked at it, but it just called to me. Seeing the pictures made me cry. The past just keeps running through my head, and I'll never forget the day of the final battle. I used to have nightmares about it, I kept seeing it over and over and over again in my head, or that something else was different and it was worse." Hermione broke into sobs, "Why can't I just forget the past?"
Too many years
fighting back tears,
Why can't the past just die?
"I want to be able to live. I want to stop dwelling on this. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I want to forget you; it's not like that. But I just want to not feel like if I don't make these visits all the time that I'll feel empty. Forgive me. This is the first promise I made to you that I've broken. I know you're probably watching me from heaven and are angry with me because I'm this way. I need your strength. I can't do it alone."
Wishing you were somehow here again
knowing we must say goodbye.
Try to forgive
teach me to live
give me the strength to try
"I wish it was all a dream. I wish that one day, I'll wake up and find you next to me again. If I could ask for anything in the world, it would be to bring you back to me again. I want to look back on the times we had together and smile, not cry. I tired of shedding silent tears, and looking back on the years I've wasted feeling sorry for myself because you died. Please, Harry, help me to say goodbye."
No more memories, no more silent tears
No more gazing across the wasted years
Help me say goodbye.
A cold, strong wind blew across the cemetery, making Hermione shiver. But as soon as the gust of wind had passed, she felt more at peace, like that wind had taken what she had said and sent it to Harry. She smiled a little, and in the wind she could've swore she heard,
"Goodbye."
Help me say…goodbye.
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A/n: Ok, here's a new songfic for y'all. And here's my situation on this. I'm going to write another songfic with this song, again, Harry's dead with the same circumstances and everything, only this time it's his daughter, Lily, that's visiting his grave. I debated and debated about which person to write about, and finally decided to just write two different ones. I wouldn't expect the next one out real soon, because I started school three weeks ago, and that takes up most of my writing time (that's why I haven't been able to update on `The Tip of the Knife' recently, but trust me, chapter 2 is almost done!). Anyways, thanks for reading, and please review!!!
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