A/N - This is the sequel to Amber Oblivion. You can read this alone but be warned that you will be a bit short on background. If you want the full story, check it out through my author profile.
There had been three significant points in the last two years of Ginny Weasley's life: 1) Draco Malfoy leaving, 2) The Dark Lord losing the War and 3) Draco Malfoy coming back.
It was funny how Draco was now so important in her life. They had met two years ago when Ginny found him hiding from the Order (and from the Dark Lord) in a secret room in Hogwarts. At that time, he had been accused of killing her family…she had nearly killed him when she realized who he was. Of course, a few weeks later, Draco Malfoy had been cleared of all charges due to contradictory evidence.
However, that wasn't his only problem. The Dark Lord had cursed him to lose his humanity (and eventually die a slow and painful death) if he did not find his true love, a task thought impossible by the Dark Arts because they did not believe in love. Ginny had fought to break Draco of his alcoholism and to keep him fighting for a dream of having a peaceful life as he was beginning to lose hope. What she didn't realize until the day he left was that she had fallen in love with him somewhere along the way.
She had waited nearly a year after the War ended for him, hoping that he would return and at the same time, dreading it. If he did come back, it would be with his destined love on his arm…and she would have no hope of him ever returning her love. Finally, she had assumed that they would never meet again and had forced herself to move on.
She had gotten the news of his return from her fiancé of three months, Harry Potter. The Ministry had alerted the Aurors of the return of one of the most controversial people in the War.
Since then, she had been battling with herself about the man she had never stopped loving. She wanted to see him, but she knew that it wasn't a good idea. Questions ran through her head. Would she be able to survive seeing him happy with another woman? Would she be able to leave him behind for a second time?
She sighed to herself. Draco Malfoy was happy without her. He had moved on…never even loved her in the first place. Obviously, they weren't destined lovers. And Harry…the wonderful man who adored her…he deserved better than a woman who had another man in her heart.
She would forget about Draco Malfoy and treasure what she had with Harry, she resolved silently.
She did for a long time, but she wasn't the same person. For nearly a year, she forgot how to laugh, forgot how to smile. While trying to block out her emotions in regards to Draco, she blocked everything else out as well. She started accepting all the invitations Harry gave her to different social events, and usually went as his date. Nevertheless, she remained aloof and distanced from him. Harry actually asked her whether he was the problem. She nearly laughed in surprise. He was asking her whether he was the problem...she should be doing that.
Eventually, she learned how to hold up a mask of normalcy. This was the life she had dreamed of. Harry stopped worrying, and she managed to keep living. Three months ago, he had asked her to marry him. She said "yes." Harry never realized the tears running down her face were of regret, not joy.
Thinking about their life together - their happiness - worked as long as she kept Draco in a tiny corner of the back of her mind; he would never leave her thoughts completely, she knew. But then Harry brought home news that would break her resolution and change her life, news that would break her heart…and the heart of the man she loved.
Destiny was meant to be happy. That was the one assumption she had made throughout the years. Looking back, she realized nobody could ever assume anything about life. That included destiny.
"How was your day, Harry?" she greeted the weary Auror who walked in the door to their shared apartment.
Harry wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his head in the curve where her neck met her shoulder.
"All right…but it could be better," he murmured into her skin. He moved his hands down her sides to her hips suggestively.
She nudged him and slipped out of his arms, clenching her teeth. She just couldn't give what he was asking of her.
He looked at her with glowing emerald eyes, frustrated, but remained silent.
Ginny saw the look on his face and realized that he was questioning why she refused him. "You promised you'd wait when you popped the question."
She furiously pushed away the thought that the "marriage night" idea was just an excuse. She did love Harry. She did. She had left everything else behind...she was marrying this man. "Besides, dinner's waiting."
Harry said resignedly, "All right. Let's eat." He looked at her appreciatively. "Can we move the wedding to tonight?"
Ginny's stomach sank even as she laughed. She was marrying Harry…he loved her. They walked together to the dinner table and began eating.
In the middle of dinner, Harry asked quickly, "Are you sure Draco Malfoy was your informant about the Dark Side during the War?"
Ginny kept her eyes on her plate as she replied, "Yes…why do you ask?"
Harry shook his head sadly. "He doesn't seem the type."
Ginny rolled her eyes at her fiancé. Harry could be terribly judgmental; for all he had been through, he was sheltered.
"Harry, you don't even know him. How do you know he's not the type? He was desperate for the Order to win the War."
Harry said peevishly, "Because the Dark Side would have killed him."
Ginny's eyes flashed. "So would the Order! You know it as well as I do that if they had gotten to him before I managed to tell McGonagall whom our contact was that he would be dead!"
Harry looked up at her grimly. "Why are you defending him, Ginny? His father nearly killed you in your first year.
Ginny sighed. "We will never be able to move past the War if people refuse to get past their prejudices. Prejudices are what caused the war in the first place! Draco Malfoy is not his father, and it's unfair of you to act as though he is. It's just not fair to anyone. You fought with your life to end the War, and talk like this is practically asking for a second War to begin."
Harry nodded curtly. "I was called in to arrest him for beating his wife. I suppose even once you've left the Dark Lord and the War is over, you're still considered dangerous. I suspect Fred and George, however, just wanted to see my reaction." He smiled wistfully.
Ginny barely heard his explanation as she started in surprise. "He's married?"
Harry nodded. "To Pansy Parkinson, she was in my year at Hogwarts."
Ginny shook her head slightly in disbelief. "However did Malfoy convince her to marry him while he was out of the wizarding world? On that thought, how did they meet?"
Harry looked at her sharply. "Why do you care, love?" Ginny shrugged uneasily. "Pansy has always been enamored of Malfoy…I'm sure it wasn't difficult to convince her to move out of the British wizarding world for a few years if it meant marrying him. How did they meet? I believe Malfoy met her through his connections in the Canadian Ministry of Magic. Canada was sympathetic towards him and had no prejudices against the Malfoy family; I believe he stayed there during the War. The Parkinson family has relations in Canada, and Pansy visits there occasionally. Do you know who Pansy is?"
Ginny nodded. "Yes, he took her to the ball in my third year…your fourth. But that's impossible - Draco would never hurt a woman after he saw what his father did to his mother."
The magical world had found out about that just before the War started when Narcissa Malfoy was found at St. Mungo's being treated for bruises on her neck and wrist…in the shape of fingerprints. Draco had confirmed the story for Ginny.
Harry said testily, "Ginny, he has problems, serious ones that he's not willing to admit. He's perfectly capable of it."
Ginny's stomach sank. Could he have surrendered to oblivion yet again? After all their work together to break him free of it?
"Do you mean alcoholism?"
Harry glanced up at her. "How did you know?"
She shrugged uneasily. "I thought he had finished with that before he left the magical world, but he's back to alcohol."
Harry said quietly, "I suppose so."
Draco Malfoy needed help, and Ginny knew, at that point, she couldn't help but give it to him because she did love him, no matter how hard she tried not to. Because of that, she would go back, back to the man she had never stopped loving, back to the man who had never loved her.
When Harry left the next morning, Ginny put an illusion charm on herself and looked into the mirror. It wouldn't do to have the papers screaming about how Harry Potter's fiancée was seeing Draco Malfoy; the fiancée of the magical world's most eligible bachelor got a lot of attention from the press, attention she didn't want today.
She had the same body shape…but a different face. Her lips were thinner; the eyes were larger and piercing gray…just like Draco's. Her hair was a dark brunette, and her nose arched in an aristocratic way. She was the cute girl next door no longer…but an aristocratic beauty. Someone no one would ever associate with the down-to-earth, friendly girl named Ginny.
She walked out of the house and looked back. This was her present, but she needed to see her past one last time. She was going to find Draco Malfoy and see whether she could save him again because she couldn't help wanting to save him.
She Apparated to just outside Malfoy Manor and a voice sounded from mid-air, "You have reached the residence of Mr. Draco Malfoy and his wife, Mrs. Pansy Malfoy. Please state your name and purpose."
At first, she smiled. It was just like Draco to be snobbish enough to employ intercommunication magic; the newest spells were still in the experimental stage, but she could practically see him saying, 'A Malfoy must have the best.'
Then she winced. She wasn't sure whether his wife would let her in. "I would like to see Draco Malfoy."
The intercom voice hesitated, then asked, "Your name, please?"
Ginny shrugged. Destiny would have its way no matter what she said. "I do not choose to give it. Just tell him I hope he has a room bigger than the size of his closet."
She waited. The intercom voice came back after a few moments and said incredulously, "You may enter. Master Malfoy wishes to speak to you."
She smiled as the ominous iron gates swung open with a screech. Draco must love being called 'Master.' It would be nice to see him again. She ignored the quickening of her heart and the flushing of her cheeks. They were just friends. She was just meeting a friend to state her concerns. This was the mantra she repeated to herself as she walked down a long pathway to the large oaken double-door entranceway, just friends.
The door squeaked open and a tiny house-elf greeted her, the intercom voice.
"Millie at your service, ma'am!" The little creature squeaked, "Millie will take you to see Master Malfoy now. Come with Millie, ma'am!"
Ginny followed Millie through the maze of the Manor's many corridors until she smelled the intangible scent of sorrow: bitter acrid whiskey floating faintly through the air.
She turned to the house-elf before her. "Millie, I can find my way from here."
Millie looked at her in surprise. "Is - is the Madam sure? The Malfoy Manor is easy to get lost in. We are nearly there, I can take you."
Ginny smiled reassuringly, but the elf looked as though she would faint from panic. "It's alright, Millie. I can find my way." Millie turned without another word and walked down the hallway. House-elves did not question orders, but Millie personally thought that the Madam was crazy. Even Mistress Pansy got lost in these corridors.
Ginny followed the smell down to a door. The smell was wafting from it in waves, nearly knocking her over with its power. She hurriedly stopped the memories from flooding in.
Taking a deep breath and trying to convince herself that this would not begin and end her world, though inside she knew it would, she knocked on the door. The heavy thud seemed to toll out her destiny.
"Go away, Pansy. I do not want to talk to you right now! Invite some of your friends over and keep them quiet or order Millie to listen to you. Just go away!" a voice snapped in answer.
The husky tone made her heart skip a beat. "It's not Pansy, Draco," she said, her voice wry.
A few seconds later, the door opened to reveal a shocking sight. Draco Malfoy had indeed changed quite a bit.
He had added some weight: his cheeks were no longer hollow, his eyes not sunken into his skull, his arms and legs were toned and rippled with muscle. His hair was thick and radiant, but still cut short, the way she liked it, his skin tan…in short, he was gorgeous.
But his eyes no longer shone and he smelled of sorrow. For that reason, she knew that he was sicker than he had ever been while hiding in a room "smaller than his closet."
He looked at her, his eyes downcast. "I'm sorry. You sounded like someone I knew. I'll get my wife for you."
She ignored his words. "Is that room secured?" He nodded confusedly. "Let me in."
His eyes went from dull to irritated at her tone, but she was glad to see emotion in his face at last. Slowly, he moved out of the doorway to let her in.
She stepped in, shut the heavy door behind her with a thud and took a deep breath. He merely watched her, his eyes wary.
'Revalo,' she thought, and his eyes widened.
"Ginny?" he asked incredulously. Her eyes flashed, and she held a hand over his mouth.
"Shush! I'm not supposed to be here!" she replied, and he looked at her strangely.
"That never bothered you before."
She glanced away from his eyes, feeling his closeness acutely. "Things are different now."
His eyes dulled once again as he stepped away from her. "That's right…they are."
She let out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding and looked around his study. It was posh and masterful, very Draco-like.
Everything was dark cherry wood - the bookcases, the counters, the desk were all richly engraved. The curtains, cushions and upholstery were deep green silk. The chairs for guests sat on top of a green and black Oriental rug that stretched the expanse of a deep cherry hardwood floor.
Draco sat back down in a richly engraved cherry armchair, looking almost majestic. She almost laughed. Since when had she become so sentimental? She supposed time had made her heart weak at the moment when she needed it to be strongest of all.
She sat without asking his permission. She had saved his life; she supposed they could drop the formalities.
"This room is very…you," she commented.
He laughed, "Slytherin to its core, right?"
She looked at him questioningly. "No, I didn't mean it like that. I meant posh and elegant and…graceful." She smiled in satisfaction. Graceful was definitely the word she had been looking for.
He sighed, "Of course you didn't mean it like that. I'm a little rough around the edges these days, I'm afraid. Pansy did the decorations. It's a bit too Slytherin for my taste," he paused, looking at her for a long time. "I like red a bit more these days…" he gauged her uncomfortable expression and changed the idea a bit, "and it would have looked good with the cherry wood."
Ginny tried her hardest to ignore his eyes. They were trying to tell her something she didn't want to hear; no, something that she couldn't hear. This was the way things had to be. Still, she was beginning to think this had been a mistake, coming to see him without anyone else around.
She quickly pulled around the subject of concern. "Draco…you went back."
He started. "What?"
She looked at him and said painfully, "You beat your wife yesterday. You would have never done that sober. Why? Why would you go back to alcohol? You fought so hard to break free of it. Now that you have your life, why waste it? You know that alcohol doesn't solve your problems, it only lets you run for a little while."
He looked away from her…the pain written all over her face was killing him.
Softly he said, looking down, "There's nothing to solve."
She said quietly, "Then what are you running away from?"
He couldn't answer her. Not now, not here. All he said was the thought that had run through his head since he got back to the magical world.
"I need to get away from here."
She smiled and nodded. "Yes. Yes, I can see that now."
She took his hand and Apparated them away to a place she held sacred in her heart.
Draco looked around in surprise. "My hiding place…you remember?"
She smiled at him as she slipped her hand out of his. "Always."
He looked around and sighed, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor and burying his face in his hands. Ginny sat down next to him.
He looked at her wistfully. "Ginny…Pansy and I don't belong together."
She looked at him. "What?"
He said, "I've been doing a lot of research into the Felis Semper phenomena. The pairings are created at birth. But people aren't the same the whole of their lives…experiences change them…you changed me. I'm not the same arrogant, pureblood Malfoy I used to be. Pansy hasn't changed, though. Destiny may have made us for each other, but reality changed us and we don't fit anymore."
She said angrily, "That's no excuse to drink away your marriage. If there are problems, then work through them, Draco!"
He looked at her painfully. "There are no problems. Pansy's easy to make happy, let her have full reign over the house and host whatever parties she wants, and she's fine. Hell, she loves me to the point where she would do anything to make me happy."
Ginny smiled. "Sounds like Harry and me."
Draco didn't say anything. He didn't seem to hear her. His voice was rough with tears and stark with emotion. His face held no reserve any longer. Pain seemed to have sharpened edges she hadn't seen before. He spoke, "I don't deserve her, Ginny. There aren't any problems. I'm the damn problem. I can't forget…never mind."
Her heart leapt into her throat as she thought she knew what he was saying. She touched his face and turned it to look him in the eye as she said fervently, "Draco, forget it. Please."
Draco kept his eyes on hers as he shook his head. "I can't. Don't you think I've tried? I can't forget how I felt about you…God, Ginny, I married her. She doesn't deserve a husband who doesn't love her. But I don't. I love you."
Tears ran down both their faces. The pain on his face was hurting her more than the pain in her heart. He looked at her desperately and she knew that she had to tell him - because he needed to hear it, and she needed to say it.
"I love you, Draco Malfoy."
His eyes shone and his face brightened into the first smile she had seen on him since she had met him today. She hated to break his happiness. But destiny was destiny. Reality shaped itself around destiny…she and Draco were living proof of that.
She continued heavily, "But Draco, you married Pansy. That is not something you can back out of. She saved your life by marrying you. And you can't leave her sight for the rest of your life. That's part of Felis Semper. You can't break the heart of a woman who loves you, especially not your wife."
He looked at her angrily. "It'd hurt you…and you love me! Ginny, I want to be with you. I love you…"
She turned away from him. "Draco, we can't always get what we want. Besides, I'm engaged to Harry. He loves me, and he doesn't deserve this, none of it."
He grabbed her arm and spun her round to face him. "So you're just going to walk away? Because we can't change our reality?"
She smiled bitterly, tears filling her eyes. "That's right. I'm going to walk away."
He let go of her and stepped away. "Then walk away."
She stared at him for a second, feeling the hate, the regret in his gaze. Her heart broke for the millionth - and last - time. He would never forgive her for leaving him behind.
Still, she could save him one last time. She would finish what she came for.
"Not before I do what I came for. Draco, you cannot go on like this. Hurting your wife…God, it destroys everything we fought for. It destroys you, the man I fell in love with. By drinking away your pain…you take the coward's way out, and I do not love cowards."
He looked at her harshly. "You don't love me either, obviously…you're leaving."
She said painfully, "I do love you, Draco. Always have, and always will…but we live in a different world now. You're a married man, I'm engaged…Draco, this is our life now, and we have to live it the best way we can. You may not be happy with Pansy, but you can at least be content, just like I will try to be content with Harry."
He reached a hand out and stroked her cheek. "Ginny, we could try…"
She shook her head sadly. "No, we couldn't, and you know that. Felis Semper binds you to Pansy, and the wizarding world holds marriage sacred."
He nodded reluctantly. "So this is it?"
She fought to smile and gave up, merely saying, "Yes. I don't think I could walk away a third time."
He looked at her for a long time, then gathered her into his arms and kissed her. She kissed back with all the regret, love, pain…everything. Tears mingled as they flowed down both of their cheeks.
They pulled away from each other. Ginny looked up at the man she would never stop loving and traced the outlines of his face…trying to memorize the feeling of him holding her like this. Draco shut his eyes, shaking slightly.
She whispered softly, "Draco, please, don't give in. Alcohol won't help you, and it will hurt me to hear of you that way. Try…try to make the best of things."
Draco laughed. "There's nothing to make the best of. What was the point, Ginny? What was the point of fighting past oblivion, of struggling in that tiny room in Hogwarts? If I had known then that this would be my life, I wouldn't have tried."
Ginny fought back a gasp of pain. "Don't say that, Draco! You have a woman who loves you, with all her heart…just like I do. You have a family in your future, beautiful children who will love you." Her voice broke, and she shut her eyes, fighting the tears. <i>Be strong. It's not long now.</i>
She continued softly. "Be the man that your father never was. Show the world that you are not your father. Show <i>me</i> that you're the man I believed - no, believe - in. Give your wife the love she deserves."
Draco grimaced. "She's my wife. But she isn't you."
Ginny shook her head. "She loves you. That has to be enough. That is enough to make a happy life together. You have to be willing to try. Try, Draco. I know you, and you can do it. You can't have everything the way you want; life isn't perfect. You do have something good, and wasting that would be throwing away everything you - we - worked for."
Ginny searched his face for a moment, seeing expressions travel across his profile. He made no response, but she could bear his presence no longer. She had to leave, before she stopped remembering why she had to.
"Goodbye, Draco. I - I will miss you." She Apparated to her apartment and pressed her back against the door, shaking with regret. Then she looked up at the picture on the mantle of Harry with his arms wrapped around her waist. That was her destiny; that was her life now.
Later, Harry walked in the door to find his beautiful fiancée sitting at the dinner table. She looked up and greeted him with a smile.
"Hey, Harry, I was thinking of a date in September. What do you think of a fall wedding?"
He looked at her in surprise. "Suddenly you're thinking of dates? What changed, Gin?"
She smiled, her eyes hiding some emotion he could not place. "Everything, Harry. You and I…we're meant to be."
Harry smiled and swept her into his arms. She laughed and shut her eyes for a long time. "I love you, Ginny Weasley…and any date is good…as long as we're together."
Ginny sighed and looked at the man in front of her, allowing herself one last memory of the man she loved. God, she wished this marriage could be with him.
She pulled herself back to the present. "Harry, we will be. I promise."