Mugglephobia
Summary: In order to cure their friend of his ridiculous fear of Muggles, the Marauders ship Sirius off to spend Christmas with a Muggle family. The lucky host family? None other than Lily Evans and her family, of course!
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters…blah blah blah…I own the plot…blah…the rest belongs to JKR. Any questions?
Chapter Three: Adventures at the Market
Mr. Evans had been unsuccessful in persuading his eldest daughter to remain home for Christmas. He had returned to the house several minutes later explaining how he and Petunia had argued for a while before a taxi arrived and took her away.
Lily was not unhappy that she would be sister-less for the remainder of the holiday, but she was a bit depressed by her parents' gloomy moods.
And so, the next morning, she jumped at the first chance she could find to escape from the house.
"Good morning, Sirius," Mrs. Evans sang as he walked into the kitchen.
Even though she sounded cheerful, there was something in her voice that made Sirius realise she was only acting to make him feel welcome. He also noted that her smile did not reach her eyes, leaving them cold and sad.
"Morning, Mrs. Evans," he replied. "Lily. Where is Mr. Evans this morning?"
Mrs. Evans placed a plate of breakfast in front of him. "I'm afraid he had to work today. Would you like something to drink?"
"I'll have a glass of pumpkin juice."
"Pumpkin juice?" Mrs. Evans repeated, laughing.
Lily jumped in to explain. "Muggles don't usually drink pumpkin juice."
"Oh," Sirius replied. "Then if you have a pumpkin, I can juice it myself."
"Why on earth would we have a pumpkin lying around our kitchen?" Lily questioned.
He shrugged. "We usually do."
Lily sighed out of frustration and instructed her mother to give their guest a glass of orange juice.
"Oh, heavens," Mrs. Evans muttered from inside the cupboard. "We're out of flour. I need that for dinner tonight."
"I'll run down to the market and get some for you," Lily offered. "Sirius, do you want to come?"
"Sure."
He followed her to the front of the house where they put on their coats and scarves. Then, he made his way over to the fireplace where he stood waiting for Lily.
"Sirius?" she called. "Where did you go?"
"I'm over here," he replied, sticking his head out of the doorway.
Lily laughed. "You're not going to get very far in there. The door's over here."
"But-"
She rolled her eyes. "We're walking, not flooing."
"Oh."
They set off down the street at a steady pace. Lily seemed ready to get out of the cold, but not so ready to get anywhere in a hurry.
"I don't like these Muggle forms of transportation," Sirius stated.
"Everyone walks," said Lily. "Not just Muggles."
"But I don't like it. Can't we apparate?"
"No."
"Please?"
She exhaled loudly and began to walk faster.
They came to a stop outside the place Sirius assumed to be the market.
"Alright," Lily began. "There are Muggles in there. Just don't think about it, and pretend like you're in Diagon Alley or something and everyone around you can do magic."
Sirius stared at the building they were about to enter.
"No," he said faintly. "I can't. Why didn't you say something before I agreed to come along?"
"Because I knew you'd back out, and you'll never get over your fear if you don't face it at some point."
"Fine." He took a deep breath and followed Lily through the doors.
"See? It's not so bad," Lily said, looking around. "All we need is flour and we can leave. Sirius?"
He was standing perfectly still with wide eyes and clenched fists. He looked like he was about to pass out.
"Don't forget to breathe!" she cried, hitting him on the back of the head.
He responded by taking a shaky breath.
"Thanks," he mumbled.
"Yeah, I have a feeling Potter wouldn't be very happy if you died while in my care. Come on, let's find what we need and get out of here."
They wandered down several aisles of random food products and major Muggle necessities before they came to what was apparently what they were looking for. Sirius glanced around in a frantically paranoid sort of way while Lily searched the packets on the shelf in front of her for the flour.
"Excuse me," a voice came from behind him, causing him to start terribly. "Can you tell me where the pencils are?"
Sirius turned slowly to find himself facing an elderly woman. She was old and wrinkled to no end, and she was much shorter than he was. She barely reached his shoulder, but he was scared out of his mind.
He began to back up and panicked when he backed into a shelf and couldn't find any way out.
"E-Evans," he whimpered. "Lily!"
Lily turned around to see Sirius pressed against the shelves and an elderly woman giving him quizzical looks.
"Oh dear," she muttered. "It's okay, Black. Just keep breathing. I'll handle it."
After making sure he was still taking in oxygen, she turned to the woman.
"I'm terribly sorry," she said. "He doesn't like being around…people. They scare him. Can I help you?"
"I was looking for pencils," the woman replied.
Lily smiled and directed her in the right direction. Then, she turned back to Sirius.
"You could have been a little nicer," she said.
"I couldn't help it!" he said defensively. "She was a Muggle and she took me by surprise."
"Well, calm down long enough for me to find the flour, and then we can leave."
He was still a little shaken, but managed to keep quiet while Lily finished her shopping.
"There," she said finally, taking a packet off the shelf. "I've found it. Let's go."
"Sirius!"
This new voice startled the already shaken Sirius so badly that it caused him to knock the bag of flour out of Lily's hand. It hit a shelf on its way down to the floor and burst open covering her in white flour.
"That's a nice look, Evans," the new voice said, laughing. "You should do your makeup like that more often."
By this point, Lily knew who their visitor was, and she wasn't surprised in the least when she wiped her eyes off and opened them to see James Potter laughing at her.
"What are you doing here, Potter?" she snapped.
"I came to make sure you and Sirius were both still alive," was the reply.
"We're fine," she said. "How did you find us anyway?"
"We have ways of locating each other," he said mysteriously.
"Like what?"
"I asked your Mum."
Lily rolled her eyes. "I don't think I want to know how you know where I live, so I won't ask."
"Good idea," Sirius whispered loudly enough for everyone to hear.
"I have to bring flour home to my mother before she starts to prepare dinner," she said. "You can come home with us, Potter, simply because you probably travelled a long way to get here and my mum would be angry at me for being so inhospitable, but the two of you have to stay out of my way, understood?"
"Understood," they chorused.
"Good."
She pulled another bag of flour off the shelf and marched to the cash register.
"Why are you really here?" Sirius asked once Lily was out of earshot.
"I got bored at home without you there to keep me company," James replied with a shrug.
"Did you really come here to seek my company or Evans's?"
"Yours," he said without hesitation. "I don't care about her anymore."
"Liar."
"It doesn't matter anymore because I promised I wouldn't ask her out ever again."
Sirius stared.
"What possessed you to do something like that?" he asked. "You've always been obsessed with her. Well, it seems like you always have for as long as you've carried on like you do."
"Just forget it."
Sirius was about to say something else when he was interrupted by a man standing by the door.
"Have a nice day," the man said.
Sirius froze and James had to pull him out the door.
Lily led the way home and they followed her into the house.
"We're back!" she called, removing her scarf as she did so.
"Oh," Mrs. Evans said, coming out of the kitchen. "Lily, a delightful young man came by while you were gone. He was looking for Sirius. I told him where you had gone and- oh! I see he's found you!"
"Mum, this is James Potter," Lily said, confusion etched on her face upon hearing James Potter described as "a delightful young man".
"You're welcome to stay for dinner, James," Mrs. Evans said.
James smiled. "Thank you."
Mrs. Evans bustled back into the kitchen.
Lily rounded on James. "What did you do to my Mum?"
"I didn't do anything to your mother, Evans," he replied. "I can just be very polite when I feel like it. I've always thought I could have a career in acting." He paused. "Or politics."
"Well, I said you could come home with us," Lily continued, not believing his answer. "But you promised you would stay away from me. So go, and make sure you leave immediately after dinner, Potter."
"Yes, ma'am," he said, laughing.
James and Sirius left through the front door before Lily could say any more.
"You know," Sirius said thoughtfully. "I think we should be a little nicer to her."
James looked at him. "I've always been nice to her, or at least since fifth year."
"But you didn't see how her sister treated her last night."
James frowned and bent down to scoop up a handful of snow.
"You of all people should be used to annoying siblings," he said, flinging the snow at the fence.
"But my brother doesn't verbally abuse me. He just has this air of superiority about him that's annoying at times, but nothing more. Lily's sister wouldn't stop calling her names, and finally, she packed up a suitcase and stormed out of the house claiming it was all because of Lily."
"I didn't know she had a sister," James muttered.
"Neither did I," Sirius replied. "And now I know why."
"Hello!"
The two boys looked up to see a woman standing on the other side of the fence.
"Are you two boys new to the area?" she asked with a pleasant smile.
"No," James responded. "We're just visiting a friend."
The woman frowned. "Is there something wrong with your friend? He's turning a peculiar blue colour. Maybe you should get him inside."
James turned to Sirius who stumbled backwards and fell into the snow.
"Uh oh," James muttered. "It was nice talking with you! I think we should go now."
He pulled Sirius up by his arm and they both stumbled into the house.
"Ev- Lily!" he called. "Help!"
Lily rushed into the room and went immediately to Sirius who was lying on the floor. She took one look at him and promptly slapped him across the face. He spluttered and began to breathe again.
Coughing, he sat up, and Lily gave him a dirty look.
"You need to stop doing that," she scolded. "It's not healthy."
Sirius looked shocked. "Believe me, if I could stop, I would. It's not exactly my idea of fun to stop breathing every twenty minutes."
"Evans is right, Padfoot," James said. "You really need to get over your fear before something bad happens to you."
"I'll try."
Lily slapped him again.
"What was that for?" Sirius cried.
"For scaring me to death!" she screamed back.
He and James exchanged grins.
"Evans?" Sirius said. "What are pencils?"
- - - -
O_o