Chapter Fifteen
When Harry woke up a few hours later, it was already dark outside. The first thing he noticed was somebody had removed his hat from his head. The Gryffindor common room held a few students who were talking to each other in hushed voices, obviously studying.
Harry sat up slowly and wiped the sleep from his eyes. His muscles still ached from the match and he gingerly held his ribs as he stood up. He noticed there was some food lying beside the couch and remembered what Hermione had said to him about getting him some food. He then felt guilty for falling asleep.
He ate the food peacefully in front of the crackling fire. Harry had guessed that the fires were controlled by magic as he never saw anyone light them or indeed keep them going with logs.
The portrait hole opened and in climbed Ron, Seamus, Dean and Neville. They made their way over to him and congratulated him on the match. "Man, that was wicked the way you held that broom," said Seamus excitedly, remembering the match fondly. "We all thought you were going to fall," said Neville looking scared at the thought. "Hey you're missing dinner," said Dean. Ron sat in silence and only joined in when they started talking about the rest of the match. Harry felt himself drift away from the conversation and made up his mind to go and find Hermione.
He waved goodbye to the others as he made his way out into the Fat Lady's corridor. He wondered where Hermione would be at this time. He remembered what Dean had said and made his way down to the Great Hall to check whether she was at dinner. He entered the brightly lit hall and made in the direction of the Gryffindor table. A lot of Gryffindors clapped as he went by, and he wished more than ever he had his hat. He didn't like the attention. The Weasley twins stood up in a very ostentatious manner. They then bowed graciously making Harry very embarrassed. When they sat down Harry realized Hermione wasn't at the table and so decided to search the library for her.
He left the Great Hall to more cheering and walked quickly to the library. A dead silence met him as entered the library. He could see no one except Madam Pince who was prowling the bookshelves like a sly fox. She gave him a piercing look as he made his way to the back of the library. Harry knew that look meant that if he dared to graffiti or even handle her books in any wrong manner she would be after him.
He found Hermione sitting at their table surrounded by heavy leather-bound books that were unusually dark colors. She was currently bent down low over one as if she was afraid someone would see what she was reading. She looked up as he made his way towards her. "Sorry I fell asleep," he said sheepishly. She laughed it off saying it was okay. "I decided to start looking for Nicholas Flamel,' she whispered. Harry nodded his head and sat down. He pulled a few books towards him. "These books are a bit dark. There's even one with a few chapters on Dark Magic. You didn't take this from the Restricted Section, did you?' Harry enquired.
"Of course not! We're not allowed in there unless we have a teacher's permission," she said in reply. "It's just I think that whoever Flamel is, he must be a powerful wizard and it might have something to do with Dark Magic, hence the reason they need the protection." They spent the next few minutes in silence looking through chapters of enormous books. But they found nothing. Harry lit a small lamp that was situated on the table as it was growing ever darker in the library.
Then Harry remembered something. "Did you take my hat? When I woke up it was gone," he said mystified. "Yes, I did," she said bossily. Harry then knew something was annoying her and it wasn't their futile search. "Why did you take it? You have your own hat. Not that I mind sharing it or anything." Harry asked, trying not to be rude.
"Because Harry. It is my belief that you are hiding behind you're hat," she leaned forward over the table and Harry leaned in closer to hear her. She obviously had something important to say. "Harry, whenever we don't have to wear our school robes, you always put on your hat. You don't want to be seen but you shouldn't act like that because…" she paused wondering how to continue "because you're just as normal as everybody else and if you keep wearing that hat nobody will know how great you are."
Harry sighed in defeat and leaned back in his chair. She was right of course. But still he wanted to wear his hat. He had grown used to it and he enjoyed walking around in big crowds without being pointed at or hearing the whispers of his name. "Oh, come on Hermione," he moaned. "I need that hat. I wasn't hiding behind it…" he paused and then continued with a small smile "I was hiding under it."
Hermione laughed and then removed the folded hat from inside her pocket. "Here," she said holding out his hat. She moved her hand when he went to grab it and said "But...you can't wear it everywhere. Especially, when you're with me. It is forbidden from the library," the both laughed as Hermione continued with her instructions. "And no wearing it in Gryffindor Tower."
"You have my word, milady," joked Harry as he took the woolen hat from her and put it in his pocket. They continued in silence but Harry felt that the mood was a bit lighter. "Hermione," Harry said warily. She looked up at him questioningly. "What do your parents do?" he asked slowly. This might not be a very deep question or have any significance but to Harry it meant a lot. He had watched other people talk about their families with their friends and he knew that this was a two way street. If he asked about her parents or her family then she might ask about his.
"They're dentists. Both my parents are. They have their own surgery,' she said. "Do you have any brothers or sisters?" Harry asked, feeling as if he was pushing his luck. Hermione didn't seem too fazed by his questions though. "No, I'm an only child. My mum's darling and my dad's princess," she added with wry smile. Harry seemed to think that was enough questions. He let out a breath he had been holding and Hermione gave him a worried look. "You know Harry. It's okay to ask about my family." Harry smiled sheepishly at her. "Sorry, I just don't usually do it and Hagrid said it would probably help to talk about families after the Dursleys…" he stopped immediately feeling as if he had said too much. He looked away, anywhere but at her.
"Are they the family you stayed with after you're parents died?" Hermione asked cautiously.
`Yeah, my aunt…she's my mothers sister. She lives with her husband, my uncle Vernon and they have a son…Dudley…he's my age." Harry paused, thinking. After all, Hagrid had said that he would find someone he could talk to. "They weren't the greatest family to grow up with. They're muggles and they never told me about my parents," said Harry quickly. Hermione looked shocked at what Harry had said. "Nothing. Nothing at all!" Hermione exclaimed.
Harry told Hermione as much as he could about the Dursleys, which wasn't very much. He did talk a lot about Dudley and his gang bullying him. Hermione noted how he talked with a sharp bitterness about Dudley in particular. When he had finished he realized he was shaking. It wasn't from anger, it was from fear. He had never spoken his thoughts about the Dursley's openly. He spent the whole time looking at the table as he spoke.
He then stood up quickly which sent the wooden chair flying and startled Hermione who had been looking at him sympathetically. He took a step back and hit a bookshelf. He was still shaking slightly and he wondered what was wrong with him. He then turned and ran from the library feeling a deep self hatred, but he still couldn't figure it out. He ran through the empty corridors and bolted down staircases. He then ran into an empty classroom. There was a small fireplace which immediately erupted into a cracking fire. Harry ran to the opposite wall and slid down it cowering in the corner. The one thing that was eating away at his mind was that he didn't know what was wrong with him. He had never felt so much emotion. He knew that if he could have cried he would have. But he hadn't cried in years.
The door opened and Hermione walked in panting, she had chased him through the castle and she now knew how fast he could run. She took one look at him, closed the door and made her way towards him. She thought he looked very vulnerable. She bent down beside him. He looked away from her, feeling weak, something he had always fought against. She placed a hand on his shoulder. "Harry," she whispered softly `it's alright. You've never spoken to anybody about this. That's why you're frightened."
He stood up and walked into the middle of the room. "I'm not frightened," lied Harry. He hated how pathetic he sounded. Hermione followed him and again placed her hands on his shoulders, a bit more forcefully, making him look at her. "There's no shame in being scared. That's what you told me. You have been through so much. And everybody thought you were some hero. Some sort of saviour. You may feel weak, but I swear to you that you're not." Harry knew she was telling the truth. Her voice quavered as she spoke. "The Dursleys did this to you. Most people grow up with someone to confide in. There should have been someone for you, Harry."
And finally Harry knew what was wrong with him. Hermione was right. He never had anyone and he was scared, no, he was absolutely terrified. "What…what if there's never going to be anybody there?" he asked, his voice shaking. "Don't worry Harry. There'll be somebody. And….and now...I'm here. And I don't intend on going anywhere soon," she said with a slight smile. He smiled sadly and whispered "Thank you." They stood together in silence for a while, Hermione hands still on his shoulders.
"Please, don't tell anybody about this," Harry pleaded. "Of course not," said Hermione. `And thank you. For telling me. I know how hard this must be for you."
"We'd better head back or we'll be caught out of bed after hours," Harry warned. They walked back to Gryffindor Tower in silence. It was now very late and most students had gone to be. "Whoops, we never put the books back in the library. They're still there on our table," said Hermione guiltily. "Well, there's nothing we can do now is there," said Harry.
"Goodnight," he said heading up the staircase leading to the boys dormitories. "Night," said Hermione going to the girls dormitories. "Thanks," the both said together.
Alright, you could barely call this a chapter but anyway I wanted to add it in just to bring out the characters a bit. I wouldn't call Harry OOC, this is another part of his character that he had hidden away and who better to bring this side of him out than Hermione. Believe me it's vital in their relationship. And don't worry; Harry will face his demons, in style too! He's not going to be scared a lot in the future. But the Dursley's did make him feel worthless.
Hope you like this `chapter'. Thanks for reading
Take care,
Radagast
-->