A/N: I know, yet another diary fanfic, and worse still, yet another one where Harry discovers and reads it… but I couldn't resist, I love those.
It won't be too long, the chapters either, I've got other stuff to do, and it also won't be updated too quickly. However, don't let this worry you; I said that about Aftermath didn't I? It's just that this fun little plot bunny came at me some weeks aback and really wouldn't go away. And it's not likely to end the way you may think it will.
Please do read, and review, it always makes me smile when you do.
Disclaimer: That word in the title alone should tell you that this is not mine. JK Rowling's books are mostly for children, my imagination is not.
The Depraved Secret Journal of Hermione Granger
~*~*~*~
He knew he shouldn't. He really knew he shouldn't. But it was lying there open on the table calling his name. What reasonable, rational minded individual wouldn't pick it up?
And yes, he had had bad experiences with books of this nature before. One had actually almost gotten him killed in Second Year as a matter of fact.
But it was just lying there open on the table calling his name.
A small, red, neat leather-bound book amidst the usual clutter of this table in the living room of Grimmauld Place just dying to be taken and perused in dark corners before the owner came back.
He had to pick it up.
He should have stopped at the name then.
Scribbled neatly, at the top of the first page followed by her address, which he made a mental note to remember, were three words.
"Hermione Jane Granger"
This was the property of a friend, and not just anyone either, it was Hermione.
She had been one of his best friends since his First Year at Hogwarts, with lots of brown bushy hair and a pair of the brightest brown eyes he had ever seen. She knew all his secrets, didn't mind all his faults, had been looking out for him since First Year in fact… she was… a great friend.
He wouldn't read anything out of this book that he didn't already know.
So he should have stopped then and put the book down. But his hand had pulled the paper and he just had to lift the page a bit to smoothen it and then it got away from him.
The date of the first entry on the second page of this obviously in-use book should have now been his cue to drop it and walk away. But he didn't.
It was from some months earlier, "19th September, 1997", her birthday, and it was a short entry.
It was too short to be anything but something innocent. Nothing too personal, nothing that would irrevocably ruin their friendship if she caught him and nothing that he could not lie his way out of knowing later if he foolishly mentioned something from it.
With one last look around, caution was thrown to the wind and he read:
"Dear Diary Entry One
Had to change that, I'm eighteen not eight. Anyway, decided to keep diary journal. Gift from Mum, since am going away to war (though she doesn't know that… yet) will keep so that in the event of my untimely demise she will know what I was up to. It will be a terrible shock yes, but she will understand.
And besides, if anything happens to me before this is over, am planning to enchant so that Ron and Harry will also be well advised.
Hope Harry doesn't destroy it.
Will leave note then, explaining everything and hope they read it.
Now what else should I put in here?
Oh yeah, today is birthday, got presents, (sugarless sweets, clothes and this book from Mum and Dad, another perfume from Ron- will give to Ginny- and book by famous Arithmancy theorist from Harry- will read when finished here) got a cake, (Harry made it, or maybe Mrs Weasley, not sure, it was good though) and was "serenaded" with Happy Birthday.
Memo to self never let them sing again. I'm no Celestina Warbeck but I can carry a tune.
Nothing else of interest, not even talk of Voldemort. Harry's doing no doubt… or Ron's… eh, one of them.
End Entry, Hermione"
There, nothing serious or damaging.
No deep revelations, no secret confessions, nothing that he should not know of any kind.
He ran a hand absently through his messy black hair and took a casual look around, though without making an attempt to put the book down yet.
Well, if he ignored the bit about giving away Ron's gift. And about her parents not knowing where she was. And that she didn't like their singing. He wasn't that bad.
But then, what did he really expect from Hermione's journal. They practically shared everything with each other since they began the Horcrux hunt just after his birthday earlier that year. Like he had thought before, whatever he read in here would be mostly nothing new.
And he had seen her cringe at their singing at her birthday; he had just taken it then to be embarrassment at having much of the Order singing for her too.
Okay, now he could put it away.
There was absolutely no need to look down at that second entry lower down on the page.
Really, there wasn't.
But then, exactly what reason would Hermione Granger have for using the word "randy"?
"22nd September, 1997,
Entry Two
I despise being a girl.
Okay, not really, but at a certain time of every month of every year until I'm fifty I do. Can you believe that in the middle of a war of all times this is happening? And it's not helping The Plan or The Situation any.
You don't know of either, will tell of later, but to the matter at hand, it's not helping because I'm kind of… well, as Parvati and Lavender would put it, "randy". I can't sit in the same room with him now and not have my mind fill with the strangest of things. Mental images that I doubt are even possible are still coming to mind even as I write this and am presently alone.
I'm very sure that those two gossip queens are behind this. You live with them long enough and you start thinking like them.
But then, I shouldn't really feel that guilty about it. I mean, after all, I am eighteen, practically a woman, and women do have those thoughts. I'm sure on average they have lots of those thoughts every day. It's just that they're amplified at this time with hormones and everything.
Then again, considering the fact that I actually had to have a cold shower and go to bed early last night, I'm thinking this may just be me.
Wonderful, I'm randy.
And did I mention also a witch capable of making him rather "easily swayed". At one point I was actually beginning to think of charms and hexes that could be of use. I even noted a few in the back of my brand new birthday present, and I'm not one for desecrating books.
Or for that matter, desecrating him, no matter how tempting.
Okay, must end this entry now, I've just started this journal (the first page!) and depraved thoughts are threatening a hostile take-over. Harry and Ron will just have to make do with another book for advice. They definitely cannot see this one, and especially not HIM.
End Entry, Hermione"
Yep, he was right the first time. He should just put this book down and walk away. Clearly there were some things in here that he shouldn't be reading anymore, and he no longer really cared in what context Hermione used any words that came to mind in future.
He didn't care that her… well… he didn't want to think about it… but her… um… period… was making her randy.
He didn't care that she had capitalised and underlined the words "plan" and "situation" as if it were the heading of something important.
He didn't care that she had also underlined the word "him" in reference to some unknown person he desperately wanted to know the identity of.
He didn't even care that she was having somewhat unsettling romantic, or maybe the word should be "lustful", thoughts about that person.
This had all happened months ago.
So if he flipped down to a later entry, say maybe two weeks ago, this would all be much different.
He ran his hand through his hair again and actually leaned a little towards the door looking out for signs of other life. He had no idea where the others were, and the Marauders Map was useless out of Hogwarts… not that he needed it right now of course. He had just accidentally stumbled upon this book, honest.
She had just left the book out there opened on the table where anyone could read it. Including Ron her boyfriend, who definitely did not need to know that she was thinking about other men. Or one of the Order, or especially Mrs Weasley who would not take it well.
She had to consider herself rather lucky that he was an understanding individual who would keep her secrets. And once he found out what this "plan" and "situation" was in relation to this "him", he would be in an even better position to even offer assistance if she needed it.
So moving down a bit in the book, averaging what two weeks ago would be, and with consideration to the fact that her entries had gotten longer as she got more relaxed into keeping the journal, he selected a random entry and ploughed in.
~*~*~*~
A/N: I see a problem here, Hermione seems a bit OOC… oh dear. Be nice, please. :D
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