A/N: After a few months away, I've returned with a new story. I hope you all enjoy it. Please read and review.
Disclaimer: We all know, Harry's wonderful world came out of the brilliant mind of Jo Rowling.
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ONE
Hermione looked at the man she loved. They were in one of St. Mungo's waiting rooms. Harry stood leaning against a wall, his arms crossed over his chest, his face down staring at the floor. They were alone.
Hermione walked up to him. She stood right next to him breathing in his wonderful scent. She cupped his face with her hands, lifting it up, and looking into the green of his eyes. Slowly, she rose on her toes and brought her lips up to his, placing a soft kiss on them.
"I love you, Harry."
Harry looked at her expressionless. Hermione desperately started into his eyes, searching for any of the emotions she was feeling at that moment. But she couldn't find anything, not even a sign that would tell her he had actually heard her.
"Harry… did you hear me?" she asked.
Harry looked down. "Yeah, I heard you," he simply replied. His voice sounded cold, distant. Thinking that perhaps he just didn't understand what she meant, she repeated it.
"Harry, I said I love you. I love you so much." All of her emotions, all of her feelings were coming out of her mouth in those simple words. Harry pushed her softly aside and walked away.
"Harry…"
"I'm… I'm sorry Hermione, I…" He carefully avoided her eyes.
"You're sorry?" Hermione repeated. "Well, I'm not. I'm not sorry that I love you with all my heart, that I can't take you out of my mind. I'm not sorry that I need you with me, that I'm nothing without you."
Harry turned around giving his back to her. Hermione came up to him and placed her hands on his shoulders, breathing into his neck. "Harry…"
He pulled her hands off of him and turned around. Without meeting her eyes, he spoke. "Hermione, I… I'm sorry."
Hermione took a step back. "Oh god!" she thought. "Oh god!" she said aloud. She passed a shaky hand over her forehead. Her breath started coming out in small gasps. "I… I'm sorry I ever told you."
Harry came up to her and tried to take one of her hands. Hermione, however, avoided the contact and jumped back. "Hermione, I…"
"Don't!" she said. Surprisingly, even to Hermione, her voice sounded firm. "Just go, Harry."
"But…"
"GO! Leave me alone," she said covering her face with her hands. Seconds later, she heard him walk towards the stairs, feeling that with each step he took away from her, her heart ripped a little more. When his steps faded, she ran towards the stairs trying to catch up to him.
"Harry!" she called out at the top of the stairs, but he wasn't there. Hermione ran down the stairs hoping to find him there. Harry, however, was nowhere to be seen.
"Harry…"
--- * --- * --- * ---
Hermione woke up startled, breathing fast as if she had been running a marathon. Her heart was beating at firebolt speed. She brushed away some brown curls off her face. They were wet with sweat. She took a deep breath trying to calm down.
Hermione turned in her bed, laying flat in her back, looking up at the dark ceiling of her bedroom. "That dream," she thought. "That dream again." More than a dream, it was a memory; one of her worst memories.
She raised her upper body, supporting herself on one elbow, and grabbed the water goblet that rested on her beside table. She emptied it in one gulp, but her throat still felt dry and sandy. Placing the goblet back down, she noticed it was 2:15 a.m. Hermione gasped with frustration. For the last few years, she had had trouble sleeping. If she was lucky, she'd get four hours of sleep at the most, which didn't exactly meant four hours in a row. She would toss and turn for a while and to then go back to sleep.
Five years had passed since the day Hermione had told Harry she loved him, and that moment still replayed in her dreams. It had happened just a couple of days after the Dark Lord was defeated. They had been in St. Mungo's. Ron, who had suffered some internal injuries, laid in a bed across the hall from where they had been waiting. Hermione herself had just been released earlier that day. She had been treated from a nasty cut on her shoulder.
The final battle had lasted three long days, during which hundreds of lives were lost. Fighting went on at Hogwarts and Hogsmeade. Unfortunately, many of the lives lost were from Hogwarts students that had faced the Death Eaters when they tried to take over the school. Several teachers and members of the Order had also lost their lives trying to save the students'.
After all the horror of those days, Hermione had been more than relieved to see they made it through. But the one thing she had been more thankful for was to see that Harry had fulfilled his destiny, not only defeating Voldemort, but also surviving the ordeal. She had been so proud of him. To see him in battle had been agonizing, but when everything was finally over she knew she would love him forever.
For that reason, that day at St. Mungo's she had decided to take the first step and let him know about her feelings. She had been almost sure he felt the same way. During the battle days, there had been a few times when Hermione could've sworn she saw love in his eyes.
He had even said to her "I can't lose you, Hermione," when she wanted to go with him and face the Death Eaters. He tried to keep her safe the whole time. She thought it was because he loved her. "And he did," she thought. "Just not in the same way I did, in the way I do."
But when she had been pouring out her heart to him all she found was a cold and hard wall where her feelings bounced back. Even now looking back at that day, she could still feel the same anxiety, the same sadness, the same embarrassment.
He didn't love her. He never actually said it, but it had been obvious. All he kept saying was he was sorry.
Just then, the man sleeping next to Hermione turned around. For a little more than a year, Hermione had been living with Eric Morgan. They had met one day when Hermione went to Gringotts, where he worked, to change some muggle money. They started dating soon after and a few months later, he asked her to move in with him.
Hermione had thought about it for days. She liked Eric. He was a nice guy, always a gentleman with her, but she was very clear about her feelings. Her heart belonged to only one wizard, but she also knew he didn't see her in that way. She accepted Eric's proposition, hoping this relationship would help her to move on.
But things didn't end there. About a month ago, Eric had proposed to Hermione, and Hermione accepted. She still wasn't sure what on earth made her say yes, but every time Eric tried to set a date, she would change the topic or start making excuses to avoid having that discussion.
Eric placed an arm lazily over her stomach. Slowly, his hand pulled up her nightdress and started to trail down to her knickers. Hermione turned away trying to keep him from going further. Eric, however, didn't seem to notice her unwillingness and started to caress her tights. He got closer to her. Hermione could feel in her behind how much fully awake he was now. His hardening was more than eloquent. He raised his upper body and pulled Hermione gently to make her lay on her back.
Eric brought his face down to kiss her lips, but Hermione turned her face. Instead he sucked her cheek and nibbled her ear. Hermione placed her hands on his shoulders and tried to push him off.
"Eric…"
But he didn't back off. He moved and placed himself on top of her. His hands started to pull the soft fabric that was on his way. With a quick movement, her knickers ended up on the floor, quickly followed by his boxers. Not wasting any time, Eric firmly parted her tights, digging his way in. Hermione closed her eyes and grabbed hold of the sheets.
Minutes later, when his urge was satisfied, Eric fell on top of her gasping for air. Hermione could feel his hot breath burning her neck.
She waited a few seconds, then made an effort to push him aside. Eric let his trashed body sink next to her. Quickly, Hermione removed his arm, which still rested on top of her, and got out of the bed. She went into the bathroom and locked the door behind her.
The thing she hated the most about having sex was the gooey mess she was left with afterwards. Since she was taking a potion to prevent conception, there was no need for any other barrier. When the whole thing was finished, she would always run to clean herself. She would spend some five minutes trying to get the slime that made her skin feel so sticky off of her body. Sometimes, she would just jump into the shower and turn the water on. She didn't realize that what really disgusted her was not the mess, by the guy that mess belonged to.
Hermione sat down on the bathroom floor, still holding tissue paper on her hands. She could only wonder if the rest of her nights were going to be like this. She had been in the bathroom for almost ten minutes, but she did it on purpose. She knew perfectly well that by the time she'd get back to bed Eric would be back to sleep.
She had talked to Eric before about their sexual life. It seemed (not all the time, but quite often) that Eric only gave importance to his own needs and forgot all about hers. Eric would change his way of approaching her at night for a few days after their conversation, but then he'd forget all about it and go back to the same. The mere satisfaction of a physical need, his need.
--- * --- * --- * ---
The following morning, Hermione was drinking some coffee in her kitchen before heading to work. After completing a three-year study program in Magical Law and International Relations, she had been offered a job at the Ministry of Magic's International Magic Office of Law. Eric had already left for Gringotts.
"Hermione?"
Hermione got up quickly as she heard Ginny's voice coming from the living room's fireplace. During the last years, Hermione had parted away from almost all of her old friends in an effort to keep Harry out of her life. The only person she'd see regularly was Ginny, with a few visits to the Burrow here and there, but only when assured Harry wouldn't be making an appearance.
The fact that Ginny had once been Harry Potter's girlfriends did not affect the girls' friendship. Hermione knew it was over, in the past.
"Morning Ginny!" greeted Hermione as she walked towards the fireplace and sat on the wooden floor.
"Hey, I wanted to check on you before you were off to work."
Ginny looked great. At her twenty-two years of age, she was a redhead beauty with bright lively eyes. Her hair was shorter than it used to be when they were in Hogwarts, but it suited her perfectly. Besides her natural good looks, love made her glow. She had been dating Neville Longbottom for almost two years.
"Well, you did. I was about to leave," said Hermione checking the clock placed on the wall.
"I just wanted to remind you about tomorrow. I don't want you giving me excuses not to come."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Yes Ginny. I know! I said I'd be there, didn't I?"
After a little more than two years of dating, Ron and Luna were getting married the following Saturday. Ron had hand delivered the invitation to Hermione, but had assigned Ginny the task of making sure Hermione would really be there. Ginny, Luna and Hermione, along with Angelina Johnson and Alicia Spinet - who were dating Fred and George respectively - would be driving together to The Burrow where the ceremony was to take place.
On Friday night, Molly and Arthur were hosting the Rehearsal Dinner at The Burrow. The girls had offered to arrive there early Friday morning to help out. For that reason, they were all meeting at Ginny and Luna's place on Thursday night so they could leave early Friday morning.
Ginny had made that suggestion. She didn't fancy waiting for Angelina and Alicia on Friday morning. Neither one of them had a reputation of being punctual.
Ginny smiled at her. "Yeah, you did. I'm just making sure. I don't want to die in Ron's hands if you don't show up."
"Don't worry. I'll be there."
"Alright then!" said Ginny. "See you tomorrow." After that, her face disappeared from the green flames.
Hermione let out a sigh. She wasn't quite sure if she was ready for that weekend. This time it was inevitable, she was going to see Harry. That made her feel anxious, nervous, and yes even a little excited. She couldn't deny that.
--- * --- * --- * ---
There was one thing Hermione didn't know: what had gone through Harry's mind that night at St. Mungo's.
The final battle had been very difficult for all those involved in it, but especially for Harry. To see so many youngsters die in the hands of the Death Eaters and not be able to help them all had been devastating for him. On top of that, during those three days Harry lost people that were really close to him.
Hagrid, Lupin, Moody, Professor Flitwick, and Madame Pomfrey, among others, had perished trying to protect the students. Harry, Hermione and Ron had been lucky to come out of the Forbidden Forest - where Harry faced Voldemort - injured, but alive.
The most horrible scenes kept playing in Harry's minds for days. He couldn't help but feel guilty. Thoughts like "what if" or "I shouldn't have" kept twirling in his mind.
The night Hermione told him about her feelings, they had just been told Ron was going to be okay. At first, Ron's condition had been critical. The Weasleys had already lost two members, Percy and Bill. The possibility of losing Ron had added one more worry to Harry's already burnt down mood.
And there was Hermione, saying she loved him. "She loves me?" Harry thought. He could not believe she was saying this to him when he had just let many defenseless students die. "How can she love me when I didn't stop the horror and destruction of those days?"
"I'm… I'm sorry Hermione, I…" he said, thinking about all the lives he could have saved, but didn't. She kept on talking, but he was not really listening to her. His mind was blocked. Screams of people asking for help and green beams of lights were obstructing his senses.
"Hermione, I… I'm sorry," he said again. Then, he looked at her pretty brown eyes. They were full of tears and sadness. He couldn't let anything happen to her, but he felt that if she stayed by his side sooner or later she'd get hurt. And he wasn't going to let that happen. The last thing he wanted to see was a beam of green light taking Hermione's life. Trying to make distance between them, Harry ran downstairs and disapparated away from her.