"Love Almost Lost"
Chapter 16 Hermione's Secret Feelings
A/N: Usual disclaimer, enough said. Thank you to all who read and to all who review. Enjoy.
Harry looked down at Hermione and saw that tears were flowing down her face.
"Hermione, what's wrong? Did I do something to upset you?" asked Harry concerned about his love.
"Oh, no Harry, you haven't done anything wrong. I'm crying because I'm happy. I'm so glad that Ron has overcome his jealousy and is still our friend. I love Ron too, as a friend, and didn't want to lose him. We've been through too much together to lose seven years of friendship," said Hermione through her tears.
Harry pulled her close into a gentle embrace and began stroking her hair in an effort to comfort her. She put her arms around him, embracing him too. They stood there until she calmed herself and her tears slowed.
"Are you okay now?" asked Harry softly.
"Yes, I'm fine. As a matter of fact, I've never been better, and it's all because of you Harry Potter. I've never experienced happiness and love on such a level in my entire life. You have helped me more than you will ever know. All my life people have been making fun of me and have been cruel to me. They did this because of my looks, my love for reading, and because I was smarter than most. I've never told anyone this because I was too ashamed," said Hermione sadly.
"Hermione, you have nothing to be ashamed of. The ones that treated you like that should be ashamed. Ashamed they didn't take time to get to know such a beautiful, caring, smart, courageous, and selfless person," said Harry lovingly.
She smiled at him and continued.
"Before I got my letter from Hogwarts, I was convinced that I was destined to go through life completely alone, never knowing friendship or love. No one wants to be friends with a frumpy looking, bucktooth, know-it-all. But, when I met you on the Hogwarts Express in first year, I thought maybe I had a chance. You were nice to me, you didn't make fun of me, and you actually talked to me. You grudgingly put up with me nagging you about your studies. You even saved my life from a Mountain troll. We actually became friends. You were the first actual friend I ever had in my life, and I felt that, if Harry Potter could be my best friend, maybe there was hope for me in the future. Maybe there was a little sliver of hope, I could find someone that could actually love me and I wouldn't be alone the rest of my life. But, the more time I spent with you, the stronger and deeper my feelings became for you. They were well over the line of feelings shared by just friends and I felt this wasn't right. I just knew you didn't feel the same about me. I was just suppose to be your best friend, that was all, and I was afraid that if you found out I had fallen in love with you, you wouldn't want to be near me anymore. I've been tearing myself apart over the years because I wanted to tell you how I felt, but I was terrified. I couldn't bear to lose you. I couldn't stand not being able to see you or be near you. But, when you finally told me how you felt, that you loved me, you erased years of torment from my soul. I love you, Harry. I will love you through all eternity."
Harry was absolutely speechless. He never knew that Hermione was going through so much pain and anguish, or that he was the cause of some of her torment. He had been such a bloody thick git. He felt ashamed of himself that he could have hurt her like this, he never meant to. A lone tear had started down his cheek, but Hermione looked up at him in time to see the tear and reached up to his face and brushed it away.
"Hermione, you have suffered enough during your life and I'm sorry I added to your pain by being blind to how you really felt about me. That's all in the past now. You will never have to think of it anymore. You will never have to worry about anyone ever hurting you or making fun of you again, and you can rest assured that you will never have to worry about being loved. I swear this to you," said Harry with great feeling.
"I know, Harry," she said sweetly, smiling at him.
They went back to the couch and sat there in each other's arms.
"Hermione, we have a lot to take care of over the next few months. Do you think you are up to it?" asked Harry.
"Harry, my love, as long as we are together, there's nothing we can't do," said Hermione firmly.
He smiled at her, leaned over, and kissed her gently. They would start planning their future tomorrow. Right now, it was getting late, and they needed their rest. They remained on the couch, in the warmth of each other's arms, until sleep took them.