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Honeymooned by Dementor149



Honeymooned: an addendum to The Most Ancient Magic

All things Harry Potter belong to JK Rowling and her publishers. This is done for my own enjoyment and the enjoyment of anyone reading this. There is no attempt to make a profit.

A/N Some of my reviewers asked for this I hope you enjoy it. It is a one shot describing Harry and Hermione's honeymoon and first day back at Hogwarts. Special thanks to Caina for being my beta on this. Happy Holidays to all.


Minerva McGonagall waited anxiously for them to appear in Dumbledore's fireplace. Dumbledore himself was sitting at his desk doing paperwork. Harry and Hermione Potter had been gone for a week. They had been honeymooning at Number Twelve Grimmauld Place over the Easter break and she was waiting to see how everything had gone.

Suddenly the flames turned green and Hermione stepped into Dumbledore's office. McGonagall's smile faded somewhat as she saw the fire smoldering in Hermione's eyes. "Good Morning, Mrs. Potter," she attempted.

Hermione's expression softened as she saw her guardian. "Hello, Professor."


"I really wanted to say thank you. Harry said I looked beautiful in it." Hermione shivered, "It was wonderful."

"Everything else went ok?" McGonagall inquired.

Hermione's expression hardened again and she balled her fists in evident frustration before venting an exasperated, "MEN!" She turned and stalked to the door. "Good Morning, Professor Dumbledore, and thank you too, for everything," she said quietly. Hermione Potter slipped out of Dumbledore's office heading to class.

McGonagall looked to the fireplace. Dumbledore cleared his throat and said, "All right, Mr. Potter, she's gone."

Harry looked out from the stairs leading to Dumbledore's telescope. He descended quickly and said gratefully, "Thanks, Professor."

"This is the first and last time I am going to do this for you, Harry. You must learn to deal with the consequences of your actions yourself," he said sternly.

"Yes, Professor Dumbledore."

Harry went to Professor McGonagall, "Thank you for taking Hermione shopping. She looked so amazing, It was wonderful," he said as he blushed more deeply than McGonagall had ever seen. She smiled as she noted the way Harry's eyes were shining, she nodded to him and he left the office.

After the door shut the office was silent except for the little noises Dumbledore's little silver instruments made. Then Dumbledore began to chuckle. The chuckle developed into a rich, baritone peal of laughter that quickly had McGonagall laughing too.

McGonagall made to follow Harry. "Minerva," Dumbledore's eyes twinkled as he looked at her over his half-moon spectacles, "what did you buy?"

The strait-laced Professor blushed. "Well, Albus, since her parents are gone … I took her shopping to buy her … something … Oh! Something for her wedding night." Gathering her dignity McGonagall swept from the office.


Hogwarts that day did not appear to be its usual co-ed self. Knots of boys or girls were grouped together in the hallways and classrooms. The boys were high-fiveing and the girls were either giggling or looking scandalized. Hogwarts was a tightly knit community and as Garrison Keillor has pointed out what was known of the Potters honeymoon was being broadcast and what was not known of the Potter's honeymoon was being surmised.

As class time ended the teachers gathered in the staff room, all of them trying to recover from a most difficult day. It had proved largely impossible to keep everyone's minds on their lessons for more than a few minutes at a time. Spirits were available but not usually used. Today however proved the exception. Just before dinnertime Dumbledore dropped in to see how his faculty was getting on. They were all gathered together nursing their drinks.

"Well, Severus, I heard what you said to Mrs. Potter at the reception. Did you get her homework back?" the Headmaster asked.

"Yes," intoned Snape sulkily, "along with a fair quantity of what I have determined to be … beach sand."

"Ah, and you, Minerva, have you determined the cause of this mornings odd behavior?"

"Umm, not directly, uh no." She looked around sheepishly as she walked over to where Dumbledore was sitting. She dropped her voice, "I have overheard what the students are saying, it seems it has to do with the logistical and … um … biological surprises that come about when a newlywed couple actually start living together. I think it has largely to do with the fact they have no siblings of the opposite sex."

Sprout looked disgusted with the Transfiguration teacher. "She means Harry thinks Hermione uses too much toilet paper, and Harry hasn't learned to put the toilet seat down."

Professor Sinistra, the astronomy teacher, spoke up, "I heard at least he hangs the paper right."

"A small consolation for falling into the commode in the dark, how many times was it - three?" Sprout shot back.

Professor Vector joined the conversation "Actually it was only twice. After that she charmed the seat so it couldn't be raised after sunset."

Dumbledore looked impressed "Did it work?"

"Nah, 'n from what I overheard 'arry's reaction was pretty crude," interjected Hagrid.

Sprout looked shocked, "That would have been an accident, surely."

McGonagall shook her head, "It was on purpose, but I overheard him confess to Ron Weasley he just sprinkled some tap water on the seat. He said he couldn't really do that to her, but he wanted to make a point. After that she removed the charm."

Snape looked up with a spark of interest in his black eyes. "Ah, is that what precipitated the duel? I overheard Zabini and Malfoy sniggering about it. Although Miss Parkinson did not look at all amused."

Dumbledore cleared his throat, " Severus, it wasn't a duel. According to Arthur Weasley there was no lasting damage to persons or property. It was more a matter of youthful high-spirits rather than something malicious. There was also some other issue than the bathroom fixtures. Hermione was upset with Harry for keeping some secret from her."

Snape looked disappointed and then he asked, "Where are the newlyweds now?"

McGonagall spoke up. "While Harry was talking to Ron Weasley some other students came up and were trying to ask some questions. I didn't overhear exactly what they were asking but Harry refused to answer and said he had to go to the library. Mrs. Potter was off with the some of her friends down by the lake."

Professor Flitwick entered the staff room. He had an odd look on his face as he went to the cabinet and brought out the bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhiskey. He also took two glasses.

"Did something happen?" asked Dumbledore.

"I was leaving my quarters to come here before dinner. You know the Potters are my next door neighbors?"

Everyone nodded as he filled both of the glasses.

"Mrs. Potter was coming up the hall. Harry met her at their door with a bunch of wildflowers he had gathered. He gave her that crooked little grin of his. I didn't overhear all he said but I gather he was sorry about something and he hoped that someday she would realize that he just wanted to surprise her. He also said something about a charm he found that incorporated some kind of time delay and she could use that on … well, I'm not sure exactly what - some kind of seat. She melted on the spot."

Taking his whiskey Flitwick headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" asked Sprout.

"I'm going to reinforce the sound deadening charms on my wall," he said over his shoulder.


Hermione lay spooned with Harry. His arm was placed protectively around her waist. They had made love after dinner. After washing up they had gone to bed. Harry had fallen quickly asleep, but she had been unable to quiet her mind as he had.

It had been an interesting first day back. She found the number of personal questions thrown her way simply astounding. Everyone was asking questions about what it was like to be married. Many of the questions had been personal to the point of rudeness. She had dispelled what myths she could and tried to get on with her day. Now she was replaying the events of the past week.

The Easter break had always been the traditional start of the preparation for the end of year tests. Many of their days had been devoted to study and going over the material they had been too stressed to pick up when they were attending their classes. The gift of the teacher's lesson plans had been an invaluable tool for setting up review schedules for the tests. To her delight Harry was grateful for the study help and their first weekend together had passed all too quickly. Harry had made love with her three times, twice on that Saturday and once on Sunday.

As the holiday week began so did the first hints of trouble. Hermione just couldn't seem to get Harry to understand that she was somewhat upset that he had not told her that her parents were alive. He kept telling her that he had wanted to save it as a surprise. He did not seem to understand that as their wedding day approached she was grieved more and more often by the fact that her parents weren't there to be a part of the wedding plans.

That Monday night was the first time she had fallen into the toilet and it had been a rude awakening to say the least. She wasn't mad now but she had been then. Harry had come running in answer to her cry of alarm and then he had the audacity to laugh at her predicament!

She had still been put out with him that Tuesday morning at breakfast. Sensing her frostiness he had made an unusual request. He suggested that she pack enough Muggle clothing for a two-day trip. She was curious and pointed out that even though they were legally adults they still weren't licensed to Apparate. Harry just gave her that mysterious smile of his and told her everything was going to be ok.

Tuesday mid-morning they arrived at their house in the Bahamas. Hermione was amazed at the house and Harry was pleased at her delight at the prospect of reliving their experience of last summer. He explained that this was where he had gotten the nice tan she had mentioned on their "date" in Diagon Alley. They spent that afternoon on the beach. Later that evening as she worked on her potions assignment Harry put some sand in her book bag and told her to give the sand to Snape along with her work. They both laughed as they imagined the old git's response to receiving a small pile of sand as a souvenir of their honeymoon.

Harry had procured a small supply of Gillyweed and they spent most of Wednesday morning exploring the reefs off the shore of the island. Hermione wasn't the best of swimmers and it took Harry's recounting of the Triwizard trial to convince her that everything would be all right. They found it easy to avoid the Muggle divers with their noisy SCUBA equipment and large plumes of bubbles. They both enjoyed seeing the myriad swarms of small brightly colored fish. Twice they caught the swift deadly profile of a shark as it cruised the reefs in search of prey.

Wednesday night was magic of a different kind as they had dinner at a nice restaurant in Nassau. They also put into practice the training they received at Harry's birthday party and danced long into the night. They made love in the quiet, tropical night on the patio under the millions of stars.

Still Harry had only managed to put off the discussion that she wanted to have with him about his not telling her about her parents being alive. To her it was about the communication that she felt that they should have and to him it was something he had wanted to surprise her with.

When they returned to London that Thursday night Hermione was becoming increasingly upset with her husband. She wasn't able to get him to talk to her. He was steadfastly ignoring her hints about needing to talk. To make matters worse Harry was also not remembering to put the toilet seat down for her. Her father had always been considerate of the female members of his household and Harry wasn't learning fast enough. Since she was already upset with him not wanting to talk to her about her parents the irritation about something she would have considered relatively trivial was magnified.

Early Friday morning she sat down on the cold porcelain rim again. Harry knew when she did not join him for breakfast that he was in trouble. He found her in the library and gave her some space as they worked on thier assignments for the holiday. Through the day her anger mitigated somewhat and that evening he worked especially hard on preparing a nice dinner for her. She appreciated his effort and dinnertime was cordial.

Later that evening as he was preparing for bed he found that he could not raise the toilet seat. He struggled for a few minutes before he realized Hermione must have done something to it. He found her smiling sweetly at him as he came to bed. He was mildly put out with her but he said nothing as he thought about what to do about it. Mainly he was thinking that maybe he would have a second bathroom installed if Hermione was going to make such a big deal about it. As he was about to fall asleep he had an idea. Early Saturday morning he got up and sprinkled tap water on the seat sure that Hermione would get the point of why the seat was made to be raised.

Harry was preparing to get dressed when Hermione's cry of disgust let him know that he had made his point. He heard her command "Scourgify" and she came storming into the bedroom with her wand in hand. He had seen that light in her eyes before as he quickly ducked the spell she hurled in his direction. Clad only in his boxers he ducked behind the bed. Keeping low he scampered down the spiral staircase to the library with Hermione in hot pursuit.

He ducked behind her desk in the library and as she came down the stairs he used "Wingardium Leviosa" on her nightdress lifting it off her shoulders and over her head. As she struggled to get free of it he escaped out of the library and into the hall. Wearing only her panties she followed him. In spite of her anger she found his original use of the levitation spell amusing and she resolved to remember it.

Harry had ducked into one of the guest bedrooms and circled back using the interconnecting doorways. He quietly opened the door and found himself behind her. He fired off a low powered stinging hex aimed at her derriere and was gratified to hear her yelp in surprise. Bursting out of the doorway he fled down the stairs to the first floor.

Hermione followed him sneaking slowly down the stairs. She crept noiselessly to the open door of the sitting room. Avoiding the obvious ambush Harry had set for her she crept down the hall to the other door. She cast a sound-deadening charm on it and slipped into the room. She suppressed a giggle as she was presented with a clear shot at Harry's backside. Her stinging hex wasn't as weak as Harry's but she didn't let her anger power it either.

Harry cried out as he scrambled on his hands and knees out from behind the sofa where he had been hiding. He tried unsuccessfully to summon her wand and he made a dash for the safety of the kitchen. He came to a surprised halt just inside of the doorway. Arthur was standing there unloading some bread from a basket that he had brought. With a whoop of triumph Hermione came charging into he kitchen. Her cry of victory turned into a scream of embarrassment as Arthur turned away from the sight of her bare breasts. Hermione turned and ran up the stairs toward the privacy of their bedroom.

Harry quickly went into the washroom and pulled on one of the work robes that Hermione had laundered in preparation for their return to Hogwarts.

"What's going on Harry?" he asked. He obviously wasn't expecting the sort of behavior he had just observed.

Harry quickly filled him in on the events of the past week except for hiding the fact that Hermione's parents were alive and she was upset with him for hiding that fact from her. After the rundown he told Harry, "Why don't you finish unloading these groceries. Molly didn't want you to run short of things to eat and I don't know where you are keeping all of this kind of stuff."

Arthur then went upstairs to the Potter's bedroom. As he listened he could hear Hermione crying softly on the other side of the door. He knocked gently and announced his presence. After a minute or two Hermione opened the door a little, blushing crimson as she did so She had dressed in jeans and tee shirt. Arthur, to her surprise, blushed too. "I'm sorry, Hermione, Molly and I didn't want you to run short of things to eat. I had hoped to be gone before you knew I was here. We tried to Floo you last Thursday, but I guess you weren't home." He smiled into her tear-filled eyes. "I have a few minutes, do you want to talk about it?"

Hermione invited Arthur to the library where she told him about she had failed to make Harry understand about how she needed to talk to him. That she was angry because he kept the secret about her parents really being alive.

"Your parents are alive! Really! That's wonderful, Hermione." He reached out and pulled her into a big hug. "What happened?"

"You-you mean the Order didn't know?" She looked aghast that she had let the secret slip. She quickly told him about what had happened after the reception.

"No, Hermione, I guess it was just Dumbledore and Kingsley that knew, until they let you and Harry in on it. Well, that information will go no farther. You need to work on keeping that secret better too."

Hermione nodded.

"I need to be going. Don't worry, Harry is just a little slow where relationships are concerned. He'll get there eventually." He gave her a fatherly hug and bade her good bye.

Down in the kitchen he sat Harry down at the table. "Harry, you need to think about what is going on between you and Hermione as a test. I can't tell you the right answers because there aren't any. There is only winning and losing. The outcome of the test will become apparent in the times to come. I can only tell you to consider well what you do. Sometimes what seems like victory in the short term is a defeat in the long term. Many times what seems like losing today will become a triumph in the years ahead." He smiled at Harry and stepped into the fireplace.

The rest of that day Harry came to understand some of what transpired after Ron and Hermione had their fight after the Ball. They both felt foolish about the way they were behaving and they came to a mutual decision not to discuss it. Hermione removed the charm from the toilet seat. They spent the rest of their time finishing up their studies and doing Tai Chi exercises. Harry did congratulate her on the way she had out-flanked him in the sitting room and they spent a quiet evening in front of the fire. Indeed they began trying to master the intricacies of chess.

Sunday brought Hermione frustration, as Harry seemed content to bask in the Status quo. He apparently was no closer to trying to understand her need to communicate with him. To her precious time seemed to be slipping away. She was now keenly aware that their time for really private discussion was almost over because she wasn't sure the question of her parents could be safely broached at school.

Monday morning he kissed her awake and they packed for school. She gathered her books and went to the kitchen. She found her breakfast laid and a note from Harry explaining that he had to go to school and that he would see her in class.

She had spent that Monday being put out with Harry. That is until he had met her at the door of their apartment. His apology, she could tell, was heartfelt and he had gathered a bouquet of flowers. He explained that he had overheard a couple of girls talking in the library. They were envious of the fact that they had been allowed to marry. Each was describing to the other the details of their plans. He was struck at how much each of them was depending on their parents to do. At last it had dawned on him how much it must have hurt her not to be able to have her parents be a part of such a momentous event in her life. He was disappointed in himself for being able to understand from strangers what he should have understood from his wife. All he could do was admit his failure and promise to try to do better.

As Hermione began to smother him with kisses he began to understand what Arthur had been trying to tell him. The admission of failure in the presence of one willing to forgive was a long way from defeat. They joined their bodies again in celebration of the unity that they had promised each other on their wedding day. In love's aftermath Harry fell contentedly to sleep, secure in Hermione's love. Hermione began longing for the day when she would allow him all of the way in and they would add to their titles of "Husband and Wife" the titles of "Father and Mother."