Disclaimer: All characters, events and references drawn from HP belong to J.K. Rowling, etc., respectively, everything else is my own invention.
FORESIGHT
PART SIX
It was only bits and pieces of a dream. Harry had a hard time remembering what it was, exactly, that he saw. Shadows and formless voids that floated across his mind. Shards of nightmares he had in the past. Painful memories of his mother, her screams. The haunting images of so many things he had faced that had brought him to the edge of death itself. Hermione weeping…
Harry's mind buzzed as he tried to make sense of the dream, but couldn't see any real cohesion in it. He remembered hearing the sound of a lone owl in the woods, something that sounded so unearthly to his waking mind and wondered if the now receded pain in his scar had been real. He wasn't sure. It seemed to Harry that something or someone was trying to communicate with him, but the message had been garbled. It took him several minutes to remember where he was. He sat up in bed, his breath rapid and his heart beating wildly. He felt the perspiration on his forehead and reached over for his glasses. A noise caused him to jump slightly. Harry looked over to the bed on the other side of the room. It was Ron. He was laying face down, snoring a little, but clearly in a deep sleep. Harry envied him, wishing he could sleep too.
It must still be the middle of the night, he thought - too dark outside. He began to realize how hot and stuffy the room had become and longed for some fresh air. He sat on the edge of the bed for a moment, his mind still stuck with the impressions and images that made no sense. Getting up, he quietly walked out into the living space. It was dimly lit from the moon outside and deathly quiet. Everyone else was in bed. He walked toward the opening at the front of the tent and stepped out into the cool night air.
He stood still, feeling refreshed at the cold air enveloping his body, as he took in a deep breath. That was much better. As he began to cool down, he walked a little ways into the clearing and stopped. He looked up to see the stars still making their way across the bluish night sky, the moon had waned a bit, now no longer overhead, but hanging peacefully just on the other side of the clearing. Harry scanned the clearing for anything unusual, but saw nothing. The grass was still glowing slightly in the moonlight and he could just make out the sparkling effect of the Invitalis Field around him. It was so beautiful out here. Suddenly, he was startled by the cry of the owl he had heard earlier, somewhere in the woods far beyond the camp.
As beautiful as the night was, however, Harry couldn't shake off the broken images of the dream or that nagging sense somewhere in the back of his brain. Something wasn't right and he couldn't get his head around it. Perhaps he was just overtired. With all the sprinting, hiding, the sudden kicks of adrenaline and then gearing back down again he should probably be dead from exhaustion. But that was only half of it. He had been on an emotional whirlwind ever since they had fled Hogwarts, the largest part of which was his 'awakening of love' for Hermione. The thought of her ran some of those nightmarish images to the background, yet it also drew up that gut-wrenching, longing for her that seemed to make his whole body ache. It still amazed him at how strong and intense that love could be.
Whatever the dream was, however, it had painfully reminded Harry of the thing he had been dreading most for the past six months, and maybe even his whole life - the inevitable confrontation with Voldemort. Harry dropped his head and closed his eyes. Was there simply no way out of it? Had his life truly been leading up to this one event? His 'miraculous' survival as a baby from the attack by his enemy seemed to suggest so. Ever since that fateful moment in time, everyone in the wizarding world had looked to Harry as the only hope to prevent Voldemort or another dark wizard from carrying out their conquests, all because he had 'lived'. Prophecy or not, Harry continued to carry the heavy weight of this 'responsibility' he did not want. He had wished so many times that he could just live an average wizard's life, without all the notoriety and attention.
But now the whole situation had become more complicated than he could have dreamed. Everything began to take a turn for the worse, just prior to the removal of the last horcrux. Hermione's change in behavior began to weaken the strong bond all of them had with one another, having it's greatest impact on Harry.
Harry had for some time been secretly formulating a plan to hunt down and finally defeat Voldemort himself, hoping to not involve Ron or Hermione at all. They had had long discussions and even arguments together on ideas of how to go about it, while on their much needed break at Hogwarts. Harry tried to glean as much information and ideas as he could from both of his friends, but never told them he was intending to go the rest of the way alone. He knew that both of them would absolutely object to the idea, especially Hermione. But he could not accept the responsibility for their deaths, he would not. It was necessary to do this, he continually convinced himself. He had actually been planning on the three of them going to the Burrow, as a pretense, to prepare for the upcoming hunt. It would be there that he would leave them, secretly, to face his destiny alone.
But the ransacking of their rooms, prior to the second attack on the school, caused things to get even more out of hand. Harry now saw that his plan was in danger of collapsing and the subsequent chaos of their flight seemed to further dim any chance of carrying it out at all, even if Ron's siblings were leading them to the Burrow. He had not planned on facing Voldemort without his wand, his cloak or without all the valuable information that Hermione had so beautifully compiled for them during their stay at the school. All of that was now gone.
But as complicated as that had made things, Hermione's situation had eclipsed it. Her struggle with some inner conflict seemed a greater threat to her emotional and personal well-being than any of the dangers they had been in before. He could not even think about moving against Voldemort without making sure she was safe and okay. He cared too much for her to leave her in that state. This had been such a painful distraction for Harry personally, but when he was able to finally get through to her on a level they had not yet known together, he was so glad to see her somewhat 'normal' again and even better than before. But, his newly discovered love and feelings for her and the love they now shared seemed to threaten the third part of this compact - Ron. Harry already saw the jealousy and suspicion rising up in Ron since they had left Hogwarts yesterday. The pressure now, of how to handle that, was becoming too much for Harry to think about. He did not want to lose his other friend, not now.
Everything seemed so out of control. He had no idea how to get back on track and prepare for Voldemort. What could he do? Harry's eyes began to water with the overwhelming thoughts of desperation over the whole situation before him. Then, one consoling thought crossed his mind like a brilliant light piercing through the dark clouds of despair. The one bright spot in this whole affair that had changed everything for Harry. Hermione's love. He needed her now, more than ever. If there was anyone who could understand what he was going through, she could. Hermione. That longing hit him again and he felt the strongest urge to run back inside and find her, to hold her again.
But before he had gathered the courage to carry out that thought, Harry was bolted in place by a noise behind him. He slowly turned, half imagining a Death Eater waiting for him with a wand pointed at his heart. Instead, a wave of emotion came over him at the sight he saw. There she was. That 'stunningly pretty' muggle-born girl he loved more than anything else. It was as though she had heard his thoughts, appearing right at the moment the cry had left his heart.
The two of them just stood and stared at each other. It had been several hours since they had even touched one another. Harry looked at her, feeling as though everything that had happened between them had only been a dream. But he wanted to know again, that it was real. He began to walk towards her. As soon as he had moved, she started to close the gap between them. They embraced and held each other tightly. Harry just took in her warmth again, feeling as though he had finally returned home from a long, arduous journey.
"Hermione…" he whispered almost involuntarily, burying his face in her neck underneath her hair.
"I'm here, Harry…I'm here…" she replied, her voice breaking.
Harry pulled back and leaned in, kissing her warm lips, both of them sighing. They could have stayed here forever, but Harry's mind was too troubled right now. He slowly leaned back again, breathing hard, his eyes gazing into hers with the concern that had been building up since he had awoken earlier.
"What's wrong?" Hermione asked him, her own expression now one of concern.
"I don't know…I think I had another dream," Harry began, "but I can only remember pieces of it."
"What were they?" she asked him, drawing a little closer.
"Memories I think. I heard my mum again. I felt like I was reliving all those terrible events - the basilisk, the dementors. And I saw…"
But Harry didn't have the heart to tell her about the fleeting image of her in tears. He continued on, however, desperately wanting her to know what he was going through, but couldn't seem to get the words out fast enough.
"When I woke up, it seemed like my scar had been burning, but I'm not sure. None of it makes any sense, Hermione. I can't help but think that something is wrong, but I…"
Hermione stopped Harry from continuing, putting her fingers over his lips. He stood transfixed as she then slowly placed one hand on the side of his head. Her thumb brushed away the dark, untidy hair from his forehead, revealing his scar. The rest of her fingers drew his head down towards her. She reached up and softly kissed the lightning shaped scar, then brought her head down again and did the same to his lips.
Harry was absolutely astonished. If he did have any doubts or fears, they had vanished as soon as her lips had touched him. In all his life, no one had ever done something so kind to him as that one gesture, Harry thought. That scar represented all the horrors that he had ever known in this world, and this girl, who seemed to share so much of his own soul, had just released his mind from every bad thing with one kiss. She had shown Harry the very essence of how she felt for him.
"Thank you…Hermione," he said, still stunned. She smiled at him a little. He leaned over and rested his forehead against hers, both of them in each other's embrace. She again leaned in, and they stood in that silent clearing, kissing softly and holding each other as long as they could.
"I KNEW IT!!!"
Both of their hearts stopped just as quickly as their lips had parted, as though a tremendous clap of thunder had exploded right over their heads. Harry saw in her eyes the same instant dread he felt inside at this moment.
Oh no, he thought, here it comes…
They both turned to look at Ron standing outside the door of the tent.
"Bloody…hell…" Ron rang out, shaking his head at the sight of them together.
Both of them felt apprehensive, but Hermione released Harry and turned to go to Ron.
"Ron, listen…" she began, but before she could even step in his direction, Ron pointed his finger toward her.
"DON'T YOU TALK TO ME!" He blared at her, with a look bordering on hatred. Then he lowered his hand and looked at Harry.
"Don't either of you talk to me!" he let out, promptly turning and storming off across the clearing towards the woods on the other side.
Harry felt a mixture of embarrassment and anger, his mind racing to figure out what he should do. Now things were worse. This wasn't supposed to happen. He and Hermione couldn't help how they felt for each other, but they had gotten a little careless. They simply hadn't had the time or the place to talk about everything that had happened between them and how to let Ron know about it. But Harry knew Ron's tendency to feel put upon by everyone and he knew that it would be extremely difficult for Ron to get over this 'insult' anytime soon, if at all.
Hermione started to go after Ron, but Harry stopped her.
"I'll go." He stated matter of factly. She nodded her head at him in agreement, her look now of worry. Harry noticed that Fred, George and Ginny had peeked out of the tent at the commotion and then disappeared into it's interior again. He then sprinted, trying to catch up with Ron who had now left the clearing and was in the woods headed for the outer edge of the Invitalis Field.
"Ron! RON, WAIT!" He yelled out.
Ron stopped, but did not turn around to face Harry, his arms now folded in front of him.
"Ron, we're sorry you had to find out like this." Harry started, struggling to find the right words to say, but remaining as stern as possible despite the butterflies in his stomach.
"Sorry," Ron shot at him, now turning around. "You're sorry. I'd say you definitely were, keeping something like this from your best mate! So, you two finally decided it was time to hook up, did you? After all that dancing around. I was wondering what was taking you so long."
"What are you talking about?" Harry shot back, now getting upset himself. "This just happened tonight. We just happened to be…"
"TONIGHT? TONIGHT?" Ron gave out with a harsh laugh of incredulity. "You've got to be bloody kidding!"
"Ron, I seriously don't understand what you are talking about." Harry replied, his voice tense now. "But Hermione and I haven't been sneaking around your back snogging at every chance, if that's what you think!"
"Hmph!" Ron grunted, shaking his head at Harry again. "You don't know what I'm talking about? Maybe you need to get your glasses changed, mate. I may not be the 'great wizard Harry Potter' or the 'brilliant minded Miss Granger' but I can see and I sure as hell ain't stupid!"
Harry felt his temper really rising up now. He hadn't felt this angry with Ron since the goblet incident.
"Okay, Ron, fill me in on what I've been missing. What conspiracy have Hermione and I been brewing around you this time? Because I thought we were all friends up to this point. I thought I had been pretty level with you about everything."
"You just don't see it, do you?" Ron torted, becoming more sarcastic. "Maybe you should ask Hermione what I'm talking about, since you two are so close now! She has all the answers, doesn't she?"
"Ron…" Harry's frustration had come to a head now.
"You know Harry, I wouldn't have minded so much," Ron now threw in, "if you would have told me about it early on. That is what best mates do, right?"
"TOLD YOU WHAT?" Harry now blared at Ron.
"Goodnight, mate. I'm going home." Ron told Harry with a tone of disgust. He turned again and proceeded further into the woods, passing through the Field and disappearing in the darkness.
Harry let out a yell of frustration, kicking a fallen branch on the ground. He then stood still, trying to let his anger dissipate, his fists clenched tightly, looking down at the ground. Could things get any worse tonight? He wondered.
He glanced over to his right to see Hermione standing there, arms folded. She started toward him saddened at what had just transpired.
"Harry, it was bound to happen sooner or later," she said, wanting to ease his mind. "Even if we had told him first, he would have still been upset, and you know it."
Harry did know it, but that didn't make it any easier. Everything just seemed to be unraveling in Harry's world right as they were nearing the end of this whole business with Voldemort. Why?
Hermione stepped up to Harry, taking his hands. Harry's face seemed to sink, showing the despair he now felt over the whole ordeal.
"I didn't mean for this to happen," he said, almost as if to no one in particular.
"You didn't mean for what to happen?" Hermione prompted him, her voice tinged with concern again.
"I didn't want to have to choose between you two again." Harry returned.
"But you don't, Harry," she said, "I know you want to keep things together between the three of us, but that may not be up to you. Ron is going to think and do what he wants, and there isn't anything we can do to change that right now."
"No, Hermione, you're wrong." Harry told her, the realization of what he had to do now sinking in.
"I do have to choose, just like I did so many times in the past." He spoke, now looking her in the eyes. "But I've always chosen the easy way out, what I've wanted, rather than the right thing, taking advantage of someone I loved to see that everything stayed the same. But not any more." He had made his decision, the memories of things he regretted in times past flashing across his mind.
"What do you mean?" Hermione asked, drawing in closer to him. Harry saw that look of fear in her eyes. A fear that he was about to break her heart irreparably. He looked at her with such compassion and he felt his own heart breaking. He drew her in and held her right up against his body, placing his hands on both sides of her face
"What I mean is…that I will not abandon you this time," he told her, his voice beginning to break, "I will not take advantage of your friendship and leave you alone to hurt while I try and keep things going with Ron. I refuse to be a coward anymore, to see you in tears at Ron's insensitivity and do nothing. He is still my friend and I will still remain his if at all possible, but he is going to have to live with the fact that I love you and will not bow to his hurt ego anymore."
Harry looked into the beautiful, tear streaked face he held in his hands and felt a degree of anger as he spoke the words, not simply at Ron but at himself. He couldn't stand the idea that he had been so cowardly before with her or that he hadn't been the true friend he was supposed to be when she needed him. That would never happen again.
Hermione came right up to his face.
"Thank you…Harry," she spoke softly, as Harry wiped the tears from her face.
They held each other for eternal moments, then started to walk back through the woods towards the clearing. Hermione stopped, looking at Harry, holding on to both of his hands again.
"Harry…there's something I want to tell you," she said.
Harry's mind was buzzing with the curiosity of what she might tell him. He had been wanting so badly to know what had been bothering her for the past week. And now maybe this mystery would finally come to light. They both sat down under the trees and Harry placed his arm around her. She seemed hesitant at first, but then the old Hermione started to come through, drawing up the courage to again face what had been the source of so much pain between them.
"Harry, Ron was right," she started.
"About what?" he replied, somewhat surprised at her words.
"You remember last year, when Ron and I were…going back and forth over our 'relationship', you know…canaries and all."
Hermione looked a little embarrassed. Harry shook his head, not being able to keep from smiling.
"I really thought I fancied him or had convinced myself of it. But no matter what I did to get his attention, he just seemed to stay away from actually getting involved with me. One day I finally cornered him and told him that I was interested in him and wanted to be with him. But you know what he said? He said he didn't believe me. He said that he couldn't take me seriously. When I asked why, he told me…it was because I was in love with you, Harry. Of course I vehemently denied it, trying to convince Ron that you and I were just very good friends, but he still wouldn't accept that. I was so upset with him over what he said, but I think it was mostly because he seemed to notice what I have been trying to hide and deny myself all these years. But he was right."
Hermione edged a little closer to Harry, taking his other hand in both of hers.
"I have loved you, Harry, almost from the beginning. I think the first time I began to notice that something special about you was the day we had our first broom lesson. I thought you were so stupid to risk your whole school career over that silly little Remembrall of Neville's. You barely knew him and I knew Neville's grandmother could probably buy him a dozen more if he needed them, but you took off after Malfoy like it was a crusade. When you not only showed Malfoy up and caught the Remembrall, rather spectacularly I might add, and then made the Gryffindor Quidditch team of all things, it really put a chink in my 'perfect understanding' of things. You showed everyone there that day that doing the right thing wasn't simply a matter of obeying rules or staying in the bounds of everyone's expectations.
But it was when you and Ron came to save me from that horrible troll that Halloween, that I saw something so great in you, Harry. You had my heart then and there. What girl could keep from falling for the boy who had not only saved her life, but put his own at risk, too? And you hadn't really even known me that long either. And yes, I did find out that it was you who thought of me and not Ron. Ron told me. Maybe you noticed how closely I tried to follow you after that. I was so worried that you might go off to do something heroic again and actually get killed for it. I couldn't help feeling the way I did.
Maybe it was just a crush at first, but as we grew closer over the years, I really came to see that special something about you come out so many times, and there were times I thought I would die if I didn't let you know what I was feeling. But I was so afraid. I was afraid of what you might say, that you wouldn't feel the same way. I was afraid of losing our friendship which has been the most important of my life. So I hid it. Trying to move on and just be your best friend.
Of course I wasn't terribly happy about you and Cho either. You must have seen how flustered I got over that whole ordeal. And then you really made me angry when you wouldn't listen to me over that stupid potions book. But I couldn't let go of you, regardless of your disinterest in me. I even tried to encourage you and Ginny a little, thinking that if you were happy then I would be too and then I could really move on. That's when I started noticing Ron. But after our discussion together, it seemed that Ron just wasn't going to bite. So, if you were wondering, we came to an unspoken truce in that regard, sort of.
I was so happy after last summer, though, when the three of us went looking for the horcruxes together. It did seem like old times again and I was convinced in my mind that my days of wanting you were over at last, that I could finally just be your friend and look to my own future somehow. That is…until a week ago."
Harry straightened up a bit. This was what he wanted to hear about more than anything. Hermione paused, then looked at him with a look of compassion.
"What did happen to you?" He couldn't help but ask her, his curiosity now really fired up. "I've been struggling with this all week, Hermione. I didn't want to force you to tell me, but it's been killing me to see you in such pain. I felt like I was losing you."
"I know Harry, I'm so sorry," She said, placing her hand on his cheek and caressing it slightly.
"It was at Hogwarts, when Professor McGonagall took me to that vault. That's when I saw it," she went on, surprising Harry as a smile started to break across her face.
"Saw what?" Harry asked with bated breath.
"I saw…" she continued, but suddenly placed a hand on her mouth, letting out a short scream of surprise, her eyes widening.
Harry spun around to see four Death Eaters practically standing over them both. The two of them jumped up and Harry moved Hermione behind him, her hands grasping his jacket tightly. But it was no good trying to protect her - several more Death Eaters came up from behind and surrounded them. They were trapped.
Harry spun Hermione around in front of him, hoping to be able to react fast enough if one of them tried to use their wand. But oddly enough all the Black Hats just stood there, their half-skull masks silent, looking at the terrified couple. Then two of the Death Eaters moved aside to allow an opening. Harry and Hermione looked at them for a moment and then started to walk slowly through the gap into the clearing. The Death Eaters followed the two of them out into the open clearing, still lit up by the ghostly white moon. Harry now saw that things had indeed gotten worse. When they first caught sight of the clearing, both of them held their breath at the horror they now saw before them…