Unofficial Portkey Archive

Catch My Fall

Chapter 5-Finding Strength

You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

All of me

"Gone?" Lily whispered in pure disbelief. Her emerald eyes had grown wide in perception. She saw Sirius' bloody hands that had held the stillborn baby.

Sirius nodded, wiping the tears from his eyes slowly. James bit his lip to stop his own tears from showing. His friend needed him to stay strong. He couldn't break down into an emotional mess before him.

"How?" Lily asked. "Wasn't there anything they could do?"

Not only was the baby gone, but Halle was gone. Halle; everyone's friend, the girl who seemed to always carry a glow about her, the smile that never faded.

"The baby came at such an alarming rate that the healers couldn't sustain her in time to research Muggle methods of child birth," Sirius said quietly, taking a seat on the bench behind him.

Alice, who had been friends with Halle and passed along the notes from training to her, began to show tears and her husband rubbed her back.

It was too much for anyone to take in. Halle and the baby were gone. No warning, nothing to even give anyone a heads up on the events that had just taken place.

"How did she die?" James asked. "Many women have miscarriages and still live."

"The baby," Sirius struggled to say. "The baby had strangled itself and apparently it had died due to the amount of stress Halle was feeling. The baby felt the stress and strangled itself. She lost so much blood in the process that it was near impossible that she would live."

Lily sat beside Sirius and put a comforting arm around him. If what the four had just escaped from was frightful, what they had returned to was shockingly terrifying.

"She's gone, Lily," Sirius cried. "She was so young. We're nineteen! What nineteen year old dies during child birth?"

"A stressed one," James replied quietly. "It's all my fault, Padfoot. If those Death Eaters hadn't shown up at the wedding, Halle would still be here. It's my fault."

He felt the tears fall from his own face now. He sat on Sirius' other side and buried his head in his hands.

"You listen to me, Prongs," Sirius said, his voice gaining some sort of control. "Never blame yourself for this. This was no one's fault. No one's. You too, Lily. This is nobody's fault. If anything, it's my fault for getting her pregnant."

"Oh, Sirius," Lily cried. "She was so happy when she was pregnant. I have never seen her smile so much. She was in love with her life and everything in it; especially you."

"It was a girl," Sirius muttered, brushing away the tears.

Lily held back more tears knowing Halle had always wanted a baby girl.

"Halle wanted to name her Cherish. So, on the gravestone it will read Cherish Halle Black," Sirius said.

"Is she still here?" Lily asked.

"No," Sirius whispered. "They took her from me. I got to hold her once. She was so tiny. It's so difficult to think that something so new and innocent could just be taken away."

"That is the injustice of life," James said.

His friend didn't deserve this. He deserved to have his wife and daughter. James couldn't think of anyone who deserved a happy life more than Sirius. Sirius always made people so happy. He was always there for James; he didn't deserve this at all.

"This is so horrible," Lily cried. "Why did she have to go?"

"It wasn't in the plans for me to have family," Sirius cried. "It never has been. First, I have parents who think of me as an outcast. Then, the Potters, the only attempt I've made at having a family, are stolen from the world. Now, Halle. It's just not in the cards for me to have someone. I'm supposed to be alone."

"No one's supposed to be alone," James remarked. "That's why we have each other. No matter what life brings us, we'll always be friends. We'll be there for each other to get through things like these."

"He's right," Lily sniffed, wiping more tears from her already stained cheeks. "You have us. Don't think you're in on this alone. We all loved Halle, maybe not as much as you did. Still, we're here for you, Sirius. We love you."

"Thanks," Sirius said. Lily, James, and him wrapped themselves into a group hug where more tears were shed.

Frank and Alice had Disapparated to go inform people of Halle. The three of them had nodded with appreciation as the couple did so.

"Lily, James, Sirius," Katy's voice wailed. She had just Apparated with a pop. "How is the baby?"

The three of them broke apart to see their friend, still in her wedding apparel, cluelessly look upon them with concern. They weren't sure how to break it to her.

"What-" Katy stuttered. "What happened?"

She saw Lily's cheeks, Sirius' bloodshot eyes, and James' lowered head.

"Someone," Katy pleaded. "What happened?"

With a pop, Remus Apparated next to Katy. He too seemed to have no idea what had happened.

"Frank and Alice were crying. They said to come here. What exactly happened? Why were they so upset?" Remus asked. "They went on about going to fetch Halle's parents."

"No," Katy whispered. "Don't tell me."

Her eyes turned red in suspicion.

Sirius separated himself from Lily and James and walked over to Katy. He took her hand, his eyes still on the ground spilling tears.

"Halle and the baby are dead," he said.

Katy seemed to have collapsed, Remus and Sirius holding her up.

Lily started crying even more rapidly into James' chest. It was unfair that such a beautiful person, inside and out, had to be taken. Seeing everyone's reaction made it just as bad.

Remus stared into Sirius' eyes disbelieving. The seriousness in his best mate's stare said more than words could tell.

Katy regained some of her composure and sat on the bench that Sirius had just been sitting upon. Her blue eyes were shimmering in tears. Lily, knowing Sirius was far too emotional as it was, proceeded to tell Katy what exactly had happened. She found it hard and didn't know exactly how Sirius had been able to tell she and James.

"Why couldn't they magically get the baby out?" Katy questioned.

"It would have caused the baby to strangle itself even further and it would have died instantly," Sirius mumbled.

"What about a C-Section?" Lily asked.

"A what?" Remus, Katy, Sirius, and James all ask.

She knew that C-Sections must not have existed in the wizarding world; nor stitches as she had discovered back in third year.

"Oh," Lily whispered. "As Sirius said, the baby came too fast to research Muggle methods of child labor. I didn't realize that they didn't use C-Sections."

"Maybe I can talk to my parents about training their Healers to know," Remus suggested, his voice cracking as well. "After something like this, they should know to be prepared in case."

He walked away into his parents' office. They could hear him shouting about lack of responsibility. Lily agreed, they should have known every kind of method for a situation like this.

The four remaining looked up from their sorrows only when they heard several pops indicating more people Apparating.

They saw Alice, Frank, Professor Dumbledore, and a very posh looking older couple whom they didn't recognize.

Sirius stood, as did the rest. Professor Dumbledore seemed very upset behind his calm, stable face. He was trying very hard not to let his emotions get in the way of this meeting.

"Sirius, I wish to introduce you to Mr. and Mrs. Douglas," Professor Dumbledore said, indicating the couple to his right.

"Sirius, is it? Your name sounds familiar," Mrs. Douglas said. She didn't look upset in the least and Sirius wondered if she had even heard the news yet.

"Halle wrote to you last year to tell you that me and her got married," Sirius retorted.

What kind of parents didn't even remember that their daughter had gotten married? Did they even know she had been pregnant?

"Oh, that's right," Mrs. Douglas said, her lips pursing in disapproval.

"You're luck you caught us, Dumbledore. We were just about to leave for our vacation to Italy," Mr. Douglas said.

Mr. Douglas was a fairly tall man with a neatly trimmed head of brown hair. His eyes were so unlike his daughters, clear blue. He was wearing a suit which Sirius observed as a sign of importance.

Mrs. Douglas had jet black hair sweeped up into a bun and barely visible under her exquisite purple hat. Her chocolate brown eyes were also unlike her daughters, not withholding the friendly, warm feeling Halle's had. Mrs. Douglas' seemed to give off a strict aura and Sirius wondered how Halle had come from such people. He had rarely heard mention of her parents.

"Well, I'm fairly certain you may wish to cancel that trip to Italy," Professor Dumbledore said quietly.

"Why would that be?" Mrs. Douglas asked. "Has Halle gotten herself injured again? She has always been a clumsy girl."

"How would you know?" Sirius retorted. Anger was replacing the aching pain in his heart. These people seemed to think they knew everything about a daughter they rarely saw.

"I would think I'd know my own daughter, Simeon-is that your name?" Mrs. Douglas asked.

"Sirius," Sirius muttered. "Her husband. I knew your daughter better than you probably ever had. Do you even know why you're here? One of the most important moments in your daughter's life was about to happen when something prevented it. Do you even know why the hell you're here?"

"I refuse to allow this young man to talk to me in such manner," Mrs. Douglas said.

"Don't speak to my wife like that, young man," Mr. Douglas intervened.

Professor Dumbledore was looking on, clearly confused as to how he was supposed to handle the situation. Sirius seemed genuinely hurt by the Douglas' lack of concern.

"Halle's dead," Sirius hissed. "She died during childbirth."

"Childbirth? That would mean she was.." Mrs. Douglas said. She gasped and put a hand to her mouth.

"She's dead?" Mr. Douglas asked. His eyes were wide and concerned. Sirius appreciated this opposed to Halle's mum's reaction.

"Yes," Sirius whispered.

"Why didn't she ask of us to be here?" Mrs. Douglas asked, tears leaving stains of mascara on her face.

"For the simple fear of time repeating itself," Lily said, standing up beside Sirius.

"What exactly do you mean?" Mrs. Douglas asked.

"I'm Lily Evans, one of Halle's best friends. I've been friends with her since the first train ride to Hogwarts. Through those seven years there, Halle sent you millions of letters. Letters telling you of her times at Hogwarts, how she was doing, who her friends were. Not once did you reply, not once."

Lily felt tears stream down her eyes and she felt no shame. These people deserved to know the truth. Their daughter was amazing and they never took the time to notice.

"We meant to, but-" Mrs. Douglas said, turning to Dumbledore in explanation. He looked in no condition to judge anyone.

"But you never did," Katy said, standing beside Lily. "Do you even know who I am? If that's Lily, what's my name?"

"Um," Mrs. Douglas babbled.

"You don't know, do you?" Katy challenged. "I'm Katy Jones, her other best friend. Let me tell you, you missed out on one amazing woman. Halle deserved better parents and she deserved more out of life. She loved life, don't get me wrong, but she shouldn't have died. She was one of the most pure people I knew."

"Do you know what happened to Halle last year?" James asked, standing beside Katy.

"Um," Mr. Douglas mumbled.

"She was classified as insane by the Healers here at St. Mungos. She got hit by the Cruciatus Curse during battle with a death eater. The Healers found a once-in-a-lifetime cure for her and she was revived. Then, she got married to my best mate and they graduated together. Soon, she was pregnant. Pregnant during her time at Hogwarts. Did she have any parents to console in? No. Poor Lily, Katy, and Sirius helped her along when really, she needed parents to talk to. Where were you? Probably on a cruise ship in Costa Rica," James shouted.

"The funeral will be in a week," Sirius muttered. "Do you think you'll have the time to make it?"

The two parents looked clearly abashed. They had just been confronted by four teenagers and had definitely not expected the news they had just received.

"Yes," Mrs. Douglas cried.

"Your daughter and granddaughter deserve nothing less than the utmost admiration and honor," Sirius said. "I hope you realize that."

With that, the two of them Disapparated in tears. Professor Dumbledore walked over and gave Sirius a hug; something that had never happened before. Somehow, Dumbledore seemed to know that Sirius needed an adult figure.

James knew one thing; Sirius would never love again.

The funeral was a small, private ordeal yet many people had shown up. Sirius saw Lily, James, Katy, Remus, Frank, Alice, and Peter of course. He had expected that. Professor Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall and Professor Flitwick had all show up, Professor McGonagall in tears.

Halle's parents had shown up, true to their word. Many members of the Order had arrived, Remus' parents had come. They had known Halle for some time considering the time she spent in St. Mungos last year. Several students that had graduated with them had shown up.

Sirius appreciated every single one of them. He wanted Halle to receive all that she deserved. She deserved everything, in his opinion.

After they had lowered the two caskets, both located directly next to each other, the crowd began to disperse. Only Lily, James, Sirius, Remus, and Katy remained.

Their tears hit the Earth in which their friend would be buried.

"We'll leave you alone with her," Lily whispered, saying goodbye to Sirius. She whispered her last words to Halle as did the rest.

They all Apparated, leaving Sirius with the only true family he'd ever known.

"Halle babe, how could you do this to me? I loved you so much and then you were taken. I don't know how life will be after this. I know you'd want me to move on; but I can't do that. You're the only person I'll ever love. It was so short, our time together, but I don't regret a single moment. Not a single moment. I saw our little girl. She was beautiful. It's a shame she won't get to be brought up in this world with me and you. You would have been an amazing mother. I know it won't mean much to you now, but I wanted to leave these for you."

With those words, Sirius dropped eleven white roses onto her casket. He had kept one for his daughter; Cherish Halle Black.

He cried as he placed that one in the slightly smaller hole. He stared at his wife's gravestone and broke down.

"I'll always love you," he whispered, before standing and walking away.

Halle Elizabeth Douglas Black

Loving friend, mother, and wife. Rest in peace.

A/N: Well, that's a mighty long chapter if I do say so myself. Just so you know, I've had the idea of Halle's parents for quite some time. They only just made their appearance as a way to stick true to their character. They're mentioned in chapter 1 of Lily and James: Their Story of Love. Well, please review. I hope you liked it.