Official Fine Print: Nope. Not mine. The brainchildren of the mighty pen of JK Rowling. Just playing with them.
Here With Me
Chapter 4
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"So," Draco said. They were still in the cave; rain still dripped fairly steadily over the entrance but a pale light was also creeping in, dawn making its way through the Forbidden Forest. Harry's head lay again in Hermione's lap. He had been unconscious for what must have been five or six hours. Draco and Hermione had together re-poulticed the centaurs' arrow wound with the last of the potion, thankful that he had remained seemingly oblivious during the procedure. Hermione had sacrificed most of her shirt this time; it was now sleeveless and what was left was tied off in a knot baring her midriff. Draco's passing mention of his fondness for naval piercing had earned him an undisguised glare that ensured his silence until this point. Who did he think he was? Who did he think she was?
"So, do we enervate him now, or try and get him up to the castle? That's what you're asking, isn't it."
"Yes."
"If we enervate him at the castle, we risk bringing Voldemort into Hogwarts," Hermione said slowly.
"If we enervate him here, we risk picking up where we left off," Draco pointed out. "Not my personal choice. Scary boyfriend you've got yourself there by the way, Granger. I'm starting to understand the whole withholding sex thing."
Hermione took a deep, cleansing breath. "He's never actually done this before. Well, he told me that Voldemort possessed him at the Ministry of Magic last year and tried to get Dumbledore to kill him, but other than that it's just been dreams. Your dear friend and house master Snape has been supposed to be teaching him Occlumency."
"Obviously he should be doing remedial classes in that as well."
"That's what he's doing during "remedial potions," you idiot. Learning Occlumency."
"My personal grading system would give him a "T" then. It's not working as far as I can tell."
"No," Hermione said sadly. "It seems not. Another reason not to take him in to Hogwarts. Which leaves us two options; we either try to enervate him here, or one of us goes up to the castle and brings Dumbledore back with us."
"Or we just quietly grab our wands right quick, because I swear to Merlin he just blinked," Draco said nervously.
Hermione looked down in time to see Harry's eyes open and meet her own. They were their own lovely green again, the pupils shrunk down to normal size. He blinked… and they stayed green. She had never seen anything so relieving, so reassuring, and so… beautiful in all her life.
"Hi Harry," she said softly, watching him slowly take in his surroundings and reacquaint his brain with their predicament..
"Are you sure that's Potter?"
"Look at his eyes, they're green again. When he was Voldemort the pupils were so dilated they were black. I'm positive it's Harry this time," she told him.
Draco leaned forward and peered hesitantly at Harry…who promptly crossed his eyes at him and attempted to stick out his tongue.
"Potter it is. I never thought I'd actually be happy to see you, scarface. Nice alter-ego. Not hanging about anywhere nearby, is he?"
Harry started to shake his head, swallowed and said hoarsely "He's gone," instead. His eyes flicked between the two of them. "I'm sorry. My fault…"
"Don't," Hermione interrupted him. "I could see you in there. We knew you were fighting him. It's not your fault that the scar connects you."
"I think I let him in though. I didn't mean to. I was so… tired and," his eyes closed, shutting them out, then resolutely opened again, "so scared. I panicked, about the poison. I couldn't feel the potion working; my heart felt like it was going to explode. I remembered being inside him in a dream, and being his snake in fifth year. It's like he's cold blooded or something, his heart hardly beats at all. It made the pain almost stop, and it felt so good. But he must have known what I was doing. It was just like unlocking a door to both of you. It was stupid, and I'm sorry."
"You couldn't have known," Hermione said gently.
Harry met her eyes, misery contorting his features. "I should have. Dumbledore has been trying to make me understand that this could happen. I just couldn't really fathom it until now, what he could make me do. What he could do with me. It's not just thoughts and images like Snape and I fling back and forth. It's everything inside me. He can touch it all. It sickens me, Hermione, and it scares me to death. I know I'm supposed to defeat him for the good of the Wizarding world, but I swear I just want to kill him so that he never gets inside me again."
His voice still sounded as if he had swallowed ground glass, painful even to listen to, but there was one more thing she really needed to know.
"Harry, how did you… did he… just leave? You shouldn't have been able to wake up. I stunned you. We were trying to decide whether to take you to the castle or enervate you here to be sure…"
"Sure that Voldemort didn't get into Hogwarts through me? I was afraid that's what you were going to do, and I'd come to in the infirmary and attack Dumbledore before anyone really understood how far he'd gotten. I kept on trying to find something in me so horrible he couldn't stand being in me any longer like what happened when I touched Quirrell. All I managed to do was bore the hell out of him. He kept trying to squirm his way into memories like the prophecy; things that I knew I couldn't let him see. I was getting so tired, and then I stumbled on it entirely by accident. The one thing that physically pains him in his own body the way my scar sometimes burns me."
He paused, and Hermione saw his gaze shift briefly to Draco before turning back to her.
"That's fantastic, Harry, that could be really useful," she said. "What is it?"
He swallowed. "You."
"Me?"
"I've been pushing myself away from you, trying to push you away from me because I didn't want you to become a pawn in this. It was my fate, it didn't have to be yours. I thought I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you or Ron because of me. I never saw the other side of that, how letting myself care about you both made me stronger in so many ways and weaker in only one. I'd fight for you both with my own life. There's nothing he could do to me that I couldn't take if it protected you, and there's no place dark enough that he could ever hide from me if he hurt you. But if you died, I'd welcome death and there'd be no way in this world he could stop me from killing him in the process. Not caring if I died if it meant I could see Sirius again flushed him out of me at the Ministry of Magic because he couldn't stand that feelings for another human being could be more powerful than death.
He knows the power of it - look what it did to him when my mother used it. Tonight he knows that I've got another source of that power. One he didn't get to destroy before I knew it.
Every time I've punished myself like a house elf for thinking that I might love you, Hermione, it was pure power for him. But I do love you. It can't be anything else because… I love you more than I fear him. You are the power the dark lord knows not. Even if you… if you don't feel the same about me, you've given me what I need to fight him."
Hermione felt as if her head were spinning. You are the power the dark lord knows not… I punish myself like a house elf for thinking I might love you, Hermione… It can't be anything else because… I love you more than I fear him… You are the power the dark lord knows not. Her eyes sought Harry's, her heart full… to find him unconscious once more.
"That," Draco Malfoy said with what could be mistaken for nothing but an actual smile, "was the single most creative appeal for a shag I think I've ever heard."
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They left the cave cautiously when Hermione assured Draco that the angle of the sun meant it was at least 7am.
"He's not leaving unless there's breakfast waiting," Harry rasped out resentfully. He'd awoken to two well-aimed wands until Hermione performed a thorough identity check; Malfoy's had "accidentally" poked him in a particularly tender spot and he was having a really hard time retaining a sense of gratitude now the situation had somewhat stabilized..
"I'd rather not be breakfast for the centaurs, stupid. I'm hardly walking into the Great Hall dressed like this." Malfoy told him.
"Might blind someone," Harry agreed.
"May I note that you don't exactly look like you've just returned from the Caribbean yourself, scarface? Plus, you're all bloody and you reek like that wretched potion. All in all I'd bet on a better welcome than you'd get."
"For Merlin's sake, will you two stop already? Malfoy, you go in front of Harry and I'll follow behind."
"Oh, right, so I get the centaur arrow to the heart and you get to watch Potter's arse? I don't think so."
"I always knew you wanted my arse for yourself, Malfoy. Be chivalrous. You can't honestly expect Hermione to have to go first."
"Here's a plan, Potter. You've already got holes in you. You're expendable. You go first."
"Fine!" Harry agreed. He took a cautious step on his swollen ankle, already further aggravated by Voldemort's calisthenics during the night and realized he was in for a slow and uncomfortable trip; unless, of course, the centaurs showed up, in which case he was dead. Leaving the totally unacceptable option of only Malfoy watching over Hermione… He sighed and turned back.
"Here, Harry," Hermione said, glaring at Malfoy and positioning herself on his left side. "Lean on me."
They set off through the forest, wands at the ready. The cave was off the beaten path - which in the Forbidden Forest meant little more than a deer trail anyway - and it seemed to take an agonizingly long time to make any progress at all. Harry wasn't exactly sure when the differences between them had become so marked, but Hermione suddenly seemed too small (and if the truth be told, Harry too reluctant to lean on her as much as he actually needed) to make an effective crutch. Malfoy ultimately lost patience and pushed her aside.
"I'll do it. We'll never make it back at this rate."
Their progress increased rapidly, if uncomfortably for Harry. They began to recognize their surroundings and be able to judge the distance; Hermione reckoned that at their current pace they had no more than a quarter hour at most until they reached the edge of the forest near Hagrids' hut.
"Almost there," she said encouragingly, noting his rapid, shallow breathing and thinking that if he was only slightly less stubborn or would just cooperatively pass out she and Malfoy could so easily use a levitating charm. But then, he wouldn't be Harry, would he?
"Shhh!" Draco hissed. Hermione heard the sound of something approaching at a steady pace; two somethings, actually. They didn't seem to be making any attempt to disguise their progress, not a great sign in a place where most creatures made every attempt to go unseen. Draco shoved Harry none too gently behind a nearby tree and stepped in front of Hermione, wand poised.
"Stupefy!"
"Malfoy, don't, it's Hagrid!" Hermione swatted at his wand arm, succeeding in deflecting his aim slightly. The spell barely glanced off Hagrid's enormous frame and he shook himself. Fang whined and hid behind his legs.
"Malfoy? 'ermione? What are you two doin' 'ere? Haven't seen no sign o' 'arry have yeh? McGonagall's in a right fury, Dumbledore's sent for 'im and she can't find 'ide nor 'air in the castle. Did she send you two lookin' as well?"
"Erm…" Hermione elbowed Draco sharply and with a reluctant sigh he hauled Harry to his feet and out from behind the tree. He was quite bloody again despite their best attempts to clean him up and appeared distinctly glassy-eyed and worse for wear, although Hermione was relieved to notice no sign of anything Voldemortish in his expression.
Hagrid looked from the bedraggled Harry to the uncharacteristically mussed Malfoy and wild-haired, barely covered Hermione with something like shocked amusement.
"I can't wait to 'ear this one. You three look like six weeks worth o' detention on the 'oof. Alright there, 'arry?"
"He's been shot with a centaurs' arrow, Hagrid. Last night. Draco's been trying to counteract the poison until we could get him back to the castle."
Hagrid's expression changed rapidly. "Shot by the… 'oly mother of Merlin why didn't yeh say somethin'! Tha's nothin' to fool around with! Up you get, then 'arry." Hagrid hauled Harry over his shoulder like a sack of dead ferrets and began to trundle rapidly off toward the castle. Draco and Hermione had to jog to keep up with his pace.
"There's going to be 'ell to pay for this. They've gone too far now, the bloody minded creatures! What were the three of yeh playing at in the forest at night? Yer not firs' years anymore, yeh know well enough what's in there's not to be messed with."
"Crabbe and Goyle sent Harry a note saying they had me hidden in the forest. They were lying, but Harry, being Harry, went running off to rescue me without telling anyone. Malfoy went after him to warn him, but it was too late. Ron showed me the note when we got back to the common room after rounds."
"And you stole Harry's invisibility cloak, which unless I miss my guess meant a trip into the boy's dormitory, then came after him yourself without telling anyone where you were going. Don't forget that part, Miss Perfect Prefect. Even Weaslebee won't have let you go by yourself." Malfoy interjected. Hermione glared at him.
"We'll sort all that out later. Important thing now is to get 'arry safe." Hagrid told them.
The rest of the trip was accomplished in anxious silence. Harry appeared to have fallen unconscious again and Hermione realized with some trepidation that they were essentially right back to the same decision they had had to make in the cave. She trotted ahead and stopped Hagrid before the enormous doors that led to the entrance hall.
"Hagrid, wait. There's something else."
He pulled up in surprise. Hermione knew he expected her to be the one rushing them to get Harry to the Infirmary, but she also knew Harry would want them to be sure it was safe before they did.
"We need to wake him up before we take him inside. Voldemort possessed him last night. He took control of him. Harry managed to get back, but we need to make sure it hasn't happened again before he's in the castle."
Hagrid's black eyes grew round and he lowered Harry gingerly to the ground.
"Might 'ave told me that before, 'ermione!"
"I… I'm sorry, Hagrid," Hermione said apologetically. "I don't think it will happen again, but I know Harry would want us to be careful."
"How kin yeh tell? Are yeh certain yeh'd know it wasn't You-Know-Who?"
"Trust us, if it's anything like last night, you'll know." Draco told him ruefully.
Hagrid gently shifted Harry into a more upright position and tried shaking his un-injured shoulder, to no avail.
"Come on then, 'arry. Wake up. 'arry?"
"So far it's been kiss him or slap him, that's all that worked for us," Draco said.
Hagrid shot him a somewhat bemused look, and Hermione thought that Draco Malfoy really needed to learn when to shut up if he was going to pass on the whole Death Eater career option.
"We're back at Hogwarts, Harry," she told him, squeezing his left hand as gently as she could. "We need you to let us know if it's okay to go in. Come on, Harry, you can do this."
His fingers tightened around hers in response, but she knew that wasn't enough.
"No, Harry, You've got to open your eyes. Please, Harry."
"Come on then, 'arry," Hagrid prompted. "Open up so we can get you up to Madam Pomfrey. She'll put you right."
Hermione saw his eye shift beneath their closed lids and gripped her wand tightly. They struggled open, tired but familiar and green, pupils quite normal in size.
"Okay to go inside?" she asked.
He nodded, and managed a hoarse whisper.
"You might want to use the invisibility cloak though, Hermione, because that shirt is definitely not regulation school uniform anymore."
She could have sworn he grinned as Hagrid hoisted him back to his shoulder and through the doors.
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Madam Pomfrey achieved whole new heights of protectiveness and wouldn't even let Hermione near Harry after she had examined him.
"This is no fall from a Quidditch broom, Miss Granger. I can not fix this with a dose of Skele-Gro, you know! You've come quite close to losing young Mr. Potter this time and he's not out of the woods just yet. I'm going to give him a nice dreamless sleep draught and…"
"No! I mean, Madam Pomfrey, please don't do that until we've talked to Professor Dumbledore. Please! It's very important."
"Really, Miss Granger, I know that you are quite attached to Mr. Potter but I believe that I am far more qualified to know what's best for an injured student."
Hermione filed the whole 'attached to Mr. Potter' comment away for later perusal, but persisted. "Please wait. Professor McGonagall said he was on his way here, it can't be much longer."
"If it helps any, I'm not attached to him in the slightest. I hate Potters' guts and even I think Dumbledore ought to weigh in on this one," Malfoy added. "Trust me Madam Pomfrey; you don't want to see him wake up on the wrong side of the bed just now."
Madam Pomfrey rolled her eyes and bustled back toward her office for the medicine. Dumbledore appeared just as she was returning. He seemed tired and somewhat diminished to Hermione; the eyes behind the half moon spectacles had no hint of a twinkle this morning.
"Miss Granger, Mr. Malfoy. Hagrid told me a most interesting tale of your adventure in the woods. Perhaps you would care to provide a few missing pieces?"
"Professor, I know what we did was wrong and we'll be punished, but there's something you need to know first. Voldemort possessed Harry last night, the same way he did in the Department of Mysteries. He was inside him and he spoke through him. Harry thinks he knows how it happened, but I'm not sure… well, I mean, it might be dangerous for him if anything we do puts him back in that same position. Could deep sleep or unconsciousness make you more vulnerable to unwilling possession?"
"Indeed they could, Miss Granger, and if what I have heard of Harry's condition is correct his other natural defenses are most likely at low ebb as well. Poppy, I'm sure that a dreamless sleep draught would have been your first choice for Harry, and a wise and merciful one at that, but we will need to be very careful with Mr. Potter just now."
"Albus, the boy has still got quite a bit of the centaur's poison in his system and the wounds must remain open until…"
"Perhaps Professor Snape could be of some assistance? Mr. Malfoy seems to have had some success with a generic antidote…"
"Erm, Professor, just a thought, but if Harry wakes up as Voldemort, you might not want Professor Snape to be the first person he sees." Malfoy interjected. "He wasn't very happy with me last night."
Dumbledore leveled a measured look at Draco and sighed. "Yes, Mr. Malfoy, I do see your point. Poppy, I will leave you to treat Harry as you see best, but I must insist that you not medicate him in anyway that inhibits his own control of his senses. I think he would agree that any pain from his injuries is infinitely preferable to the alternative. I will not ask to see him just now, but I hope you will grant me a short visit after I have spoken with Miss Granger and Mr. Malfoy?"
Madam Pomfrey said, "As you wish, Headmaster," in a most disapproving tone of voice and disappeared behind Harry's curtains.
Dumbledore turned to Hermione and Draco. "I am sure you feel the need of a good wash up and something to eat after last night. I will allow you both a half hour to go to your respective houses and change into clean clothing. Please join me in my office then. I will have the house elves arrange for some breakfast to be sent along for you, and Miss Granger, please inform Mr. Weasley that he is to join us as well. The password is now 'caramel bulls' eye'. Off you go."
And with mutual glares of misgiving, Draco Malfoy headed off to the dungeons of Slytherin and Hermione Granger climbed towards Gryffindor tower.
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Thirty minutes later both met again in front of the gargoyles that guarded the entrance to the Headmasters' office. Hermione noticed how much more unapproachable and dismissive Malfoy appeared safely cloaked in his uniform once more. Or maybe it was just being unnerved at being glared at by his flame- haired potential brother-in-law… either way she felt a small pang of regret. He'd hurt her deeply and annoyed the hell out of her but she had a rather different perspective on him after last night; a small, quite fragile, respect.
Ron just looked like he'd like to give Malfoy a large pang in the arse.
"Caramel bull's eye," Hermione said hurriedly, hoping to avoid bloodshed in the hall, and led the way through to the revolving staircase as the doors opened before them.
Three straight backed wooden chairs were lined up before Dumbledore's desk and on a small table between two of them two plates of buttered toast and two steaming mugs of tea waited. Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape were there as well, already seated and obviously deep in a conversation brought abruptly to a halt by their arrival.
"Please be seated. Mr. Malfoy, Miss Granger, you two at least must certainly be hungry. Help yourselves to whatever you wish."
Hermione chose the seat between Ron and Draco, feeling Harry's absence keenly. She had never actually been in Dumbledore's office without him. She had a sudden vision of Hogwarts without Harry, as if he had already defeated Voldemort but been virtually erased in the process. The sense of loss, of a hole in the universe too big to ever fill flooded through her with a sudden knife-sharp pain. She had always held the idea at bay, an abstract concept best dealt with later, after. What would being Head Girl or perfect scores on her N.E.W.T.s mean in a world without Harry in it? What comfort would even the certain knowledge of peace, of safety in which to build a life, a home and family be, if the price was Harry?
"Are you quite alright, Miss Granger?" Professor McGonagall's voice penetrated Hermione's reverie.
'No,' Hermione thought. 'I'm not. I'm sixteen years old and I've just had the most horrible realization that the whole rest of my life is something I simply don't want to contemplate if Harry's not going to be in it. I've actually seen him laid low and struggling now, and it's way too real to cope with.
"Fine thank you, Professor," was what she said, and took a bracing sip of scalding tea.
"I have a few questions I must ask," Dumbledore said softly, watching them carefully above his steepled fingers. "Please answer as completely as you are able. We'll skip the details of what brought you together in the one place you have been repeatedly warned for the last six years not to be, as it is most unlikely that the reason in any way justified the now all too obvious danger. Tell me, Miss Granger, Mr. Malfoy, when did you notice Voldemort's possession of Harry? What if anything precipitated the event?"
Hermione glanced at Malfoy and he nodded dismissively, as if to say, 'This one's yours.'
"He was asleep, not unconscious, I think. He'd seemed to drift off, so I thought he was sleeping. One moment he was okay and then maybe ten or fifteen minutes later I woke up again and he was cold and stiff, freezing cold. I thought he was… I thought he'd stopped breathing. We tried to wake him up, but as soon as his eyes opened you could tell it wasn't Harry."
"How?"
"He was furious with me." Draco took over.
Ron snorted. "So?"
Draco ignored him. "He tried to Crucio me, which really isn't Potter's style. He was also confused about not being able to use his right arm and not having a wand. Potter was pretty familiar with those concepts by that point. And then he seemed to sort of, I don't know," he glanced at Hermione as if for confirmation. "He seemed to try and take stock of Potter, as if he was sort of feeling him all over, then he said something about how Harry was stronger than he knew, and he Crucioed me without a wand. It was no feeble effort, either."
Dumbledore appeared deeply disheartened by Draco's words.
"Did you feel at any time that Harry was present or aware of what Voldemort was doing?"
Hermione nodded, and felt Dumbledore's eyes zero in on her with the attention of a drowning man on a distant ship.
"Impossible." Snape stated unequivocally.
"No, it isn't." Hermione said. "When Voldemort Crucioed Malfoy, Harry stopped him."
"Nonsense," Snape said. "The Dark Lord simply changed his plans."
"He changed his plans because Harry stopped him. He was frustrated and angry. He tried to get Draco to attack Harry then, and Draco played along. Whenever Draco did something, Voldemort seemed to push Harry back in control, so that it was Harry who would be hurt."
Dumbledore actually seemed to wince, his greatest fear for Harry once again realized. Snape shook his head, unswayed. "Unusual, but it means nothing. The Dark Lord was in total control."
"He might have been - until I told Potter to insult Granger," Draco admitted. "I tried to make him call her a mudblood, to say he was disgusted by her."
Ron, silent all this time, leaned forward to get a clear view of Malfoy.
"You tried to get Harry to call Hermione a mudblood? What the hell is wrong with you, Malfoy?" He turned to Dumbledore. "Why are we sitting here listening to this? If you want to know what You- Know-Who's thinking, just ask him, not Harry!"
"He didn't do it, Weasley," Draco cut in angrily. "He couldn't do it. He'd done everything else I'd told him to, like it or not, because Voldemort was in there with him and I made him. I made him look at me while I cut off his bandages and let him bleed. Voldemort liked that. I made him kneel and bow down to me, head down on the ground and everything. I put my foot right on his head and pushed his face around in the dirt. For a moment or two I actually thought I was going to like that, but I couldn't. He just never gave up. I humiliated him and he begged me to stun him to, as he said, 'get this demented f…erm… fool out of me.'"
Hermione noticed he still had the grace to flush as he took in McGonagall's disapproving glare before continuing. "He didn't ask to die, and I've seen Voldemort drive people to that with a lot less. He never stopped being Potter, and in the end, somehow, he … won."
Ron's face was contorted with a combination of rage and regret; Hermione realized it would be a long time, if ever, before he completely forgave her for going after Harry alone. For the life of her she could not verbalize her impulse to do so; it had been foolish, illogical, and yet somehow the only answer she could bear at the time. She'd had to go.
McGonagall looked shattered that it had come at last to this; Snape disbelieving. Dumbledore, to Hermione's great amazement, seemed to have been given a pepper-up potion and a second chance at life.
Suddenly she had a surge of comprehension. Harry's successes has always pleased and been acknowledged by the Headmaster, but she'd never seen before how torn Dumbledore was between what he knew must happen and the boy it had to happen to. Dumbledore, she saw, was more than just fond of Harry. Perhaps he was less of a pawn in this battle than he thought.
"That could be all that he needs," Dumbledore mused. "If there was even a hint of it there he could be taught, but there is little one can do to light a fire without a spark. Harry has always been strongly resistant to the Imperius curse. Learning to throw off possession while the scar still links them could well change the whole course of conflict." He met Hermione's gaze. "This has been a painful experience for Harry, I know, but perhaps a blessing in disguise as well."
"It seems a great deal to expect of a boy who could not master the simplest tenets of Occlumency." Snape commented dryly.
"Might have done if he hadn't had to learn it from you," Ron muttered.
Snape's overlarge nostrils flared.
"And you would know exactly what about that subject, Mr. Weasley?"
"I know that there had to be more than just Occlumency going on during those lessons," Hermione said slowly and clearly, "because Harry dreaded going down there, and he always came back looking like a mouse pawed by a cat. And then they just stopped. He would never say why. Why did they, Professor?"
Snape's cold black eyes went glacial. "That, Miss Granger, is between Potter, the Headmaster and myself. I admit to a great deal of surprise that it has in fact remained that way, but it most certainly has nothing to do with either of you."
Hermione was tired; worn out from the night before and the constant buzzing of newly unleashed thoughts around her brain like a hoard of restless bees.
"So, it's up to Harry to do whatever it takes to learn how to defeat Voldemort, no matter how painful and difficult, but the rest of us should go on with our petty daily occupations because no one made a prophecy about us? Is it really only Harry's war, or all of ours? At least when Umbridge was here a few people were shocked enough to join the DA and think about fighting for themselves. If you ask me, Voldemort's greatest power might have been realizing how revoltingly self-involved most witches and wizards seem to be. " Hermione heard herself exclaim. "If that's a side effect of constant exposure to magic I think I'd rather be a Muggle!"
She pulled her prefects' badge from her robes and dropped it onto Dumbledore's desk. "I'll save you the trouble of asking for this. I'm sure someone can let me know the details of whatever punishment you decide, I don't particularly care and I have no defense at all. I'd like to go now, please, Professor."
She thought for a moment that Dumbledore was going to refuse her but he seemed at last to think better of it, and waved her sadly toward the door. She heard Ron rise and follow; half hoped he would be called back. The last thing she heard as the stairs lowered beneath her was, "Sit, Mr. Malfoy. I'm afraid that you and I have a great deal more to discuss." The doors sealed again behind them with a gentle "snick."
"Are you going to see Harry, then?" Ron asked her as they passed the gargoyles.
"Maybe later. Madam Pomfrey won't let anyone near him now. I think I really need to get some sleep."
"Yeah. You were right in there, you know. Strung out and daft as a duck for handing in your prefect's badge, but right on about Snape and Dumbledore."
"They'd have had to take it anyway Ron, how could they explain a prefect doing what I did? They'll take Malfoy's as well. But it's not just Snape and Dumbledore, in fact I think Dumbledore knows he's got ground to make up with Harry. Your family has always pitched in, through the Order. It's the whole rest of this bloody school thinking house rivalries are still important and nothing will change except Voldemort might kill Harry! I just feel like it's all closing in around us and no one's noticing…"
"Sleep does sound a good idea then. If I get in I'll tell Harry you'll see him later, yeah?"
"Thanks, Ron"
Hermione set off for her room. As she climbed the stairs it seemed to be a thousand miles away.
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