Kissing Frogs
by J&M Ink.
Disclaimer: I take credit for this plot and my own characters, but everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling.
Note: Written by J. Because HBP was so disappointing, I have decided to disregard it completely in this fic. I may make a few references here and there, but this is going to focus on the Trio's 7th year as if HBP never happened. The H/Hr make take a while, but patience is a virtue. I'm a rookie with the whole humor thing, so if you read, please review with some requests and ideas. They would help muchly. Thank you and enjoy!
Chapter One
The Damsel in Distress
"Shh, no Ginny, don't wake her, she'll spoil it. You know how she is about rules."
I see myself as a romantic. I'm not sure many other people do. I'm sure the only thing they think I can love is a book and I keep my eyes fixed firmly on the page I'm reading when one of the Greek gods of Hogwarts walks by. Who would seriously take the time to discover that I'm really a girl? Well, the school uniform doesn't help my plight much, but that's besides the point. I guess what I mean to say is I'm just as normal as the next girl and I want to be recognized as such. Unfortunately, life doesn't always work out the way you want it to.
But occasionally, it does.
"Shut your arse, Parvati, or you can stay right here for the night. I'm allowed to invite whoever I want."
"She'll report us, Gin, you know she will," Lavender Brown whispered hastily as Ginny took a step closer to my bed. I listened to them through my bed hangings, tears stinging my eyes and I gripped my pillow harder.
"Both of you can go back to sleep then. If she doesn't come, none of you do. Dean won't let you in without me."
No one said a word and I heard Ginny pull the hangings back and felt her gently touch my shoulder. 'Shit!' I thought and snapped my eyes closed and let my mouth hang open a bit. I sensed her move in closer.
"Hermione," She whispered, pressing harder on my shoulder. "Hermione, wake up."
Carefully, I fluttered my eyes open, blinked a couple of times, yawned and sat up. I did my best impression of drowsy as I looked at Ginny. She smiled.
"Dean's throwing a Beginning-of-Term party in the common room for the sixth and seventh years. You want to come? It won't be for long, I swear."
I heard Parvati and Lavender suck in their breath and felt their eyes on me. I blinked a couple times at Ginny, pretending to wake up. I had overheard Dean telling Ginny about the party earlier that day and had seriously considered ending it then and there, but Harry had called my attention to something else and I had forgotten all about it until now. My Prefect duties cried for me to avenge the school's rules, but my womanly pride had been wounded by my roommates. I couldn't pass this up.
"Sure, I'd love to. Give me a minute to change."
I thought I heard Lavender and Parvati's jaws hit the floor as I rolled out of bed and walked over to my trunk. I hid my grin in the darkness of the room and decided that I might as well milk this for all it was worth. They were all dressed to impress, so why shouldn't I? I pulled out a cute skirt that I had bought over the summer. On a whim I had packed it, thinking I might wear it to some Hogsmede trip, but then, if I was too conscious to wear it while I was out of school and I knew no one, why would going out with all of my friends change anything? But now was not a time to be worried about what people thought about me. I felt a sudden urge to drop some more jaws, to be daring and do something dangerous, even if all I did was don a skirt an allow an illegal party.
I tugged on a random black shirt and rummaged around for something for my feet. Parvati, Ginny and Lavender were all wearing shoes with heels, but as I had never adapted a liking to walking on pencils, I owned nothing but a my school shoes and a beat up pair of trainers, neither of which I felt like wearing. Struck with a sudden idea, I smiled and sifted through the clothes in my trunk until I came across a pair of red socks decorated with black polka dots. I had knitted them a year ago, but seeing as they weren't practical, I had never worn them until tonight. I slid them on my feet and glanced at myself in the mirror. Makeup was something I would never consent to, but something needed to be done around my appearance. My eyes landed on my brush and with a smile, I picked it up. I whispered a handy spell I had come across in my concealed subscriptions of Magical You: A Witch's Guide to Beauty Today. As I ran the brush through my hair, it sprung into an artful mess of glossy curls. I shook my head experimentally, watching them bounce around my face, and then I turned back to the other three and gestured toward the door to leave. Ginny was smiling and shaking her head at me, her eyes sparkling with mischief. Lavender and Parvati followed us out of the room, speaking to each other through facial expressions. Their eyes jerked in my direction several times, but I pretended not to notice. I was beginning to worry about agreeing to attend this party. I wasn't good at relaxing and breaking the rules and simply having fun. I wanted to feign exhaustion and run back to the dormitory, but it was too late; Ginny had met Dean at the staircase and clarified Lavender, Parvati and I as her guests. Dean acknowledged us with a nod of his head before dragging Ginny off into a dark corner. The other two promptly left me to attend to their own devices, and I found myself standing alone amidst the group of sixth and seventh years. Though I knew everybody present, I can honestly say I had never felt so out of place in my life.
Fate decided to step in at that exact moment. It's funny how one minute, you're cruising along life at a comfortable speed, and then before you can do anything to stop it, you're knocked into a parallel universe by a force that I'm certain resembles a Hungarian Horntail in heat. I'll have to ask Harry about that, though.
"Nice polka dots, Hermione," Said a deep voice at my elbow. Startled, I turned around a little too quickly, lost my footing on the carpet and fell back into the arms of Seamus Finnigan. He reacted quickly and had me back on my feet in an instant, but in that brief moment where his hands had been planted on my waist, my heart had fluttered and I had forgotten how to breathe. On my feet again, I faced him without falling over and flipped my hair back into place. He was smiling exquisitely down at me, his dark eyes glinting in a way I had never noticed before. Before I could stop myself, I smiled back.
"Thanks, Seamus."
He shrugged. "No problem. Saving pretty girls from suicidal socks is my specialty. Can I have this dance?"
I bit my lip, instantly embarrassed. "I...er...don't know how to...dance..." I muttered, avoiding his eyes. He laughed and I blushed scarlet, then turned to walk away. His hand in mine stopped me, and as I looked up to question him, he pulled me in close, his free hand making itself at home on my waist. He looked down at me devilishly and whispered, "No, they don't teach dancing in textbooks, do they? It's just something you learn through experience."
And with an ease I had never known, he spun me in a circle, drew me back into him, and then patiently walked me through the steps of the song. I fell over twice and stepped on his toes more times than I could count, but by the fifth song we danced to, I began to understand.
Reluctantly, I disentangled myself from him to grab a butterbeer, and as I turned away to find somewhere to sit, I promptly ran into the chest of one of my best friends. Harry grabbed my shoulders to steady me.
"How many of those have you had?" He asked, his green eyes betraying concern as they took in the beverage in my hand.
"This is my first," I said, offended that he, who knew me better than anyone, would even think to insinuate that I was inebriated.
"Well, the way you've been tripping all over the place, who could tell?" He asked, and before I could make a catty comeback, he was pulled away by a gaggle of sixth years. I made my way to an empty chair and sipped my butterbeer, trying to enjoy it despite Harry's painful comment. When the drink didn't satisfy me, I proceeded to glare daggers into his back as he danced with a raven-haired sixth year. I was about to throttle her for kissing his cheek when I felt a tug on my hand. I looked up into the face of a very flushed Ginny Weasely.
"We're playing games in the other room. Want to come?"
"Sure, let me grab Seamus," I said icily, narrowing my eyes at Harry as he looked my way. Ginny followed my gaze, beamed at Harry, and made a beeline toward him, probably to invite him to the games. His eyes flicked over to me, and then he nodded. Infuriated, I stomped over to where Seamus was talking Quidditch with Ron and dragged him away to the room Ginny had indicated. After nearly throwing Seamus into a chair, I took the seat beside him, making sure I was extremely close to him when Harry walked in. Usually it was Ron who became jealous when I expressed interest in a boy, but I knew it mildly annoyed Harry too, and I wanted him to be more pissed off than Professor McGonagall in PMS on a Monday.
Ginny walked in, trailed closely by Dean, Parvati, Lavender, Ron, Neville, and a few other random people. They took seats and looked around at those assembled before Ginny said, "Well, what shall we play?"
Extreme Exploding Snap, Truth or Skinny-Dip-With-the-Giant-Squid, and Pin-the-Tail-on-Ron's-Forehead were all rejected before I blurted out, "How about Spin the Bottle?"
I instantly regretted recommending it. I had only played it once, with my cousins two summers ago, and kissing a cactus doesn't make a good first experience. But for some reason, my idiot mouth blurted it out. Come to think of it, it may have had something to do with Seamus's hand resting on my thigh. Every time he ran this thumb over my skin my head went fuzzy. What in the name of Merlin had gotten into me tonight? Perhaps someone had spiked the butterbeer... no, that couldn't be it, because if it was, it would mean I would have to stop wishing I could throw darts at Harry's forehead.
The Muggleborns and those with half magic, half Muggle blood in them looked at me curiously, as if they were taken aback that I, Hermione Granger, had advocated such a game. From the corner of my eye, I saw Harry raise an eyebrow.
"What's Spin the Bottle?" Ginny asked, speaking for those purebloods who knew next to nothing about the Muggle world. I hesitated; maybe if I gave her a fake explanation, I could redeem myself for suggesting it and save myself the torment of having to--
"It's a Muggle game," Harry cut in, his eyes glued to my face. "You set a bottle in the middle of a table and spin it, and whoever it lands on, you have to kiss."
The girls looked excitedly at each other and then scrutinized the afore mentioned boys that they might have to lock lips with. The boys exchanged wobbly smiles of both anxiety and interest. I whipped out my wand, jumped on the table and hexed Harry Potter until he resembled something that seemed to be a cross between a frog and a chimpanzee.
Well, that's what I wanted to do, anyway. But Ginny was clapping her hands in glee.
"I think we've found ourselves a game," She said, her eyes lingering on Dean seductively. "Anyone have a bottle?"
No, no one here has a bottle, we'll have to play a new game, I liked the idea of Pin-the-Tail-on-Ron's-Forehead...or maybe we could play Feed-Harry-to-the-Whomping-Willow...
"Hermione's got an empty butterbeer bottle," Seamus declared. He successfully pried it out of my cold, dead fingers and placed it on the table in front of us. Ginny raised her wand to Charm it into spinning, but Harry stopped her.
"No magic. You can tamper with magic. It wouldn't be fair that way."
Ginny pouted, but put her wand away. There was a brief argument about who should go first. They eventually decided to start with Lavender and go clockwise from there. Lavender squealed and reached for the bottle, but Ginny stopped her. Her eyes glinted dangerously.
"Let's make some rules first, to make this a bit more interesting. What do you guys say?" We murmured our agreement. I twisted a piece of hair nervously and bit my lip. Harry was smirking satisfactorily in my direction. "Good. Okay, only two rules. You must kiss whoever the bottle lands on, no argument. Agreed?" Hold on, let my fish out my tube of poison lipstick, just in case I have to kiss Harry...and a pack of mints in case it lands on Ron.
"Agreed."
"Good. Rule two; it has to be a real, mouth open, tonsil-hockey, actual kiss. And you have to wait for our consent to stop. Agreed?" If I have to kiss Harry for more than a second, I'll bash the bottle over his head.
"Agreed," Everyone said after a moment's hesitation. Ginny nodded her approval and gestured for Lavender to proceed. Her hand faltered over the bottle. She gulped, closed her eyes, and spun.
Needless to say, chaos ensued from there.
Lavender was stuck kissing Colin Creevy for a whole sixteen seconds before we stopped laughing and took pity on her. Colin grinned like an idiot and Parvati had to literally restrain Lavender from pummeling anyone who let out an uncontrollable giggle. Ginny and Dean made out for half a minute before we broke from our stupor and Ron pulled them apart. She swears she didn't cheat. Dean wasn't sure whether to be relieved or scared for his life when his ten seconds of kissing Parvati ended and he returned to Ginny's side. Ron swore he would set his arse on fire before he kissed Neville, but we refused to let him leave the room until he did. Even though it was the funniest thing we'd ever seen, we had mercy and made it short. When my turn finally came, I put on an air of confidence and spun the bottle as hard as I could, hoping against hope that it didn't land on Harry. I heard something from beside me, but by the time I looked for the source it was too late and the bottle was slowing. Everyone held their breath.
Seamus's smug smile did not go unnoticed by me when the bottle landed on him. I glanced at Harry for a moment, not missing the flicker of fire in his eyes, and then turned to Seamus. I watched him for a moment, formulating a plan. I had learned a few things from Viktor in the summer between my fourth and fifth year, but I was out of practice. I wondered how much I could make Harry's blood boil before the end of the night.
I touched Seamus's cheek and gently led his face closer to mine. I saw his eyes close and felt him inhale against my skin. Ignoring the butterflies in my stomach, I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his. I felt his mouth open against mine and I responded by sliding my tongue across his. I felt his fingers in my hair as he pulled me closer to him, the kiss hardening as he did. I followed his lead from there, until we finally heard Ginny say, "Aren't you two out of breath yet?"
We slowly pulled away and I avoided the awkward stare-into-each other's-eyes thing by looking to Ginny. Her expression looked like everyone else's: purely shocked. Ron's face was pale, but his eyes danced with a look I hadn't seen on him ever before. Lavender and Parvati were scandalized, Neville was flabbergasted, and Harry...there was no emotion there. It registered that Seamus and I had kissed for almost a minute before they had ended it. The game progressed, but I avoided Seamus's and everyone else's eyes. I hadn't meant to get so wrapped up in it...I hadn't even felt anything spectacular about kissing Seamus. I had just been trying to...what had I been trying to do? Make Harry mad? How would me kissing Seamus make him mad? Why did I want him annoyed with my in the first place? I was just about to flee from the party altogether and enjoy a hearty cry in the dormitory when I saw the bottle pointing at me. Startled, I looked up and instantly found Harry.
His expression was intense as he slowly got to his feet and walked around the table to me. My body began to quiver and I felt the tension in the room rise. My mouth flapped wordlessly and I looked everywhere but at him, but I could feel him getting closer. My eyes caught Ginny pleadingly, and she looked just as scared as I was, because she had noticed the unrest between us during the entire night. She barely shook her head; after Ron and Neville, it was impossible for her rule to be changed. My eyes widened and I opened my mouth, but there was a hand on my shoulder. I knew who it was and what would happen if I looked, but I stupidly turned my head anyway and stared at Harry. He had knelt in front of me and put his hands on both of my shoulders. My insides were a churning mess of nerves and anticipation. I didn't want this to happen, and yet...and yet...
Before I could register anything, he was kissing me. His was mouth soft and tender against mine, gently easing my lips apart with his. I gasped when I felt his tongue swirl artfully over mine. I pulled away, and then was overcome with an undeniable desire to kiss him again. He came back to me, as we had not yet been told to stop, and I kissed his bottom lip fiercely before taking it between my teeth and gently biting down. He maneuvered his mouth against mine so he was the dominate one again, and his kiss became rough, demanding, almost passionate. My head was swimming, I couldn't think, couldn't concentrate. My insides began to explode. 'This must be what a Blast-Ended Skrewt feels like,' I thought. It was becoming harder to breathe. This was so indescribably...wonderful...I wanted to kiss him forever, to always feel like this. It was paradise, it was nirvana, it was Heaven, it was...
Hell.
My eyes snapped open and I regained my ability to think clearly. Instantly, I was angry. Angry at him for questioning me, for not helping me get off the hook when I suggested this stupid game, for not showing any sign of me kissing Seamus, and now for kissing me like he was, like I was more than a best friend, more than a sister. I had to get away from all of it before I exploded. I did the only comprehensible thing possible.
I slapped him.
Harry immediately pulled away, his hand nursing his cheek. His eyes betrayed astonishment. Everyone gasped. I glared at him, tears stinging my eyes, and without another word, I left the room and ran to my dormitory where I closed the hangings tightly around me, ignored Ginny when she came in, and cried myself to sleep.