Hey, what's up guys? I know, I know, I need to post for Potter vs. Granger Rivalry, BUT this story has been on my mind for a long time, and I wanted to get it out there. So please enjoy! It's a bit different to what I normally write, but not really at the same time, if that makes any sense! It's slightly AU. It's kinda tragic, but still! So, yeah, I think I'm done here, please review!
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, the lyrics belong to The Offspring. Characters to JKR. The first memory was taken out of the first Harry Potter book, so yeah, just thought I'd let you guys know. Don't sue me or anything!
Maybe in another life
I could find you there
Pulled away before your time
I can't deal it's so unfair
And it feels
And it feels like
Heaven's so far away
And it feels
Yeah it feels like
The world has grown cold
Now that you've gone away
"Gone Away" THE OFFSPRING
Chapter One: Memories and a Funeral
She was dead. Nothing left but the shell of her body. The body he used to touch and caress. The body that he made love to on their wedding night. The body that saved him more times than he could count.
There wasn't any other reason to go on. She was no longer by his side. She had gone away. And it killed him.
She had always been his guidance. She had always been there for him, through thick and thin. Hermione had always been his.
She still was. She just wasn't here anymore. It was his fault. He had killed her, and it turn, it had killed him twice over.
She didn't deserve it. She hadn't deserved any of the cruel things life had thrown at her. Hermione had been so pure and unselfish, so goddamn caring. Look where it got her. Laying in a casket, pale and lifeless, awaiting to be buried six feet under.
Harry felt tears well up in his eyes again. They had been nonstop ever since he found her. At first, he tried to brush them away, but then realized his attempts were hopelessly futile.
He looked at her pale body. He face was slightly bruised, and had a few cuts. Her usually rosy lips were now a dull pink. Her eyes were closed. Harry yearned to be able to stare into those cinnamon orbs again. Those same beautiful eyes that had always shown so much love for her family and friends. For him.
He reached out to take her hand in his. It was cold. He didn't feel the usual warmth he always got from her touch. His finger brushed over the wedding ring on her left hand. More tears fell from his emerald eyes. They hadn't been married that long. It wasn't fair. They didn't get that happy family they had been dreaming of for so long.
Here chestnut brown hair was pulled back, showing her beautiful face. She looked peaceful and content; everything Harry wasn't. He brushed his free hand lightly over his wife's features. More tears escaped his eyes. He felt his knees start to give out and began to tremble slightly. His shoulders shook as he continued to sob. Finally, his knees buckled and he landed on the moist grass; he could feel the morning dew seep through the knees of his slacks, but paid no mind to it. His body still contracted; his hand never leaving his Hermione's.
He brought her cold hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss on each knuckle, before moving to each finger tip. He intertwined his fingers with hers, pressing their palms close together. Memories with this amazing woman flashed through his mind.
The day they met…
Ron had just raised his wand when the compartment door slid open again. The toadless boy was back, but this time he had a girl with him. She was already wearing her new Hogwarts robes.
"Has anyone seen a toad? Neville's lost one," she said. She had a bossy sort of voice, lots of bushy brown hair, and rather large front teeth.
"We've already told him we haven't seen it," said Ron, but the girl wasn't listening, she was looking at the wand in his hand.
"Oh, are you doing magic? Let's see it, then."
She sat down. Ron looked taken aback.
"Er- all right."
He cleared his throat.
"Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow,
Turn this stupid, fat rat yellow."
He waved his wand, but nothing happened. Scabbers stayed gray and fast asleep.
"Are you sure that's a real spell?" said the girl. "Well, it's not very good, is it? I've tried a few simple spells just for practice and it all worked for me. Nobody in my family's magic at all, it was ever such a surprise when I got my letter, but I was ever so pleased, of course, I mean, it's the very best school of witchcraft there is, I've heard. I've learned all out course books by heart, of course, I just hope it will be enough. I'm Hermione Granger, by the way, who are you?"
She said all this very fast.
Harry looked at Ron, and was relieved to see by his stunned face that he hadn't learned all the course books by heart either.
"I'm Ron Weasley," Ron muttered.
"Harry Potter," said Harry.
Harry smiled slightly at that memory. He was so nervous when he met her. They had all been so young, so innocent. She never saw this coming when she was eleven. How could she? How could she know what a mess her life was going to be when she befriended Harry Potter? How could she even conceive the idea that he would be her downfall? That he would be the death of her? So young and innocent…
Harry's body wrecked with another loud sob, tears splashing onto Hermione's lifeless hand. Tears that she couldn't feel.
The first time she kissed him…
Harry watched as all the third years got ready for their trip to Hogsmeade. He would stay back alone, again. He was sitting in Gryffindor Tower. The snow-covered grounds looked beautiful. With a sigh, he moved his gaze to Hagrid's hut. He heard the Portrait Hole open, but paid no mind. Then he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see a very pink faced Hermione Granger. Harry raised an eyebrow, "What are you doing, Hermione? Shouldn't you be in Hogsmeade?"
"I was going to go, but then I decided not to. I've got a better idea. Go get your cloak!" She said with a big grin on her flushed cheeks. She playfully shoved him all the way to the Boys' Dormitories. Harry grabbed his cloak then came back downstairs, where Hermione was waiting, still grinning.
"Hermione, where are we going?" Harry asked curiously, looking at his best friend.
"You'll see. Let's go!" With a mischievous smile, she took his hand and led him out of the Portrait Hole.
Harry soon found himself outside in a secluded place beside the castle. The snow was blinding, but he could still make out a blanket with a picnic basket was sitting under a tree. Harry grinned slightly . Hermione sat down on the blanket, gesturing for Harry to join her. He sat across from her. They had a picnic right there, in the middle of the snow. Even when a light snow started up, they didn't budge. They joked and laughed, paying no mind to anyone but each other. With all the horrible happenings that had been occurring, with the dementors and Sirius Black still on the loose, it was so refreshing to just sit there with Hermione, not a care in the world. It had been the best afternoon he had had in a long while.
Finally, after hours of just being together and the coldness was finally getting to them, they started cleaning up, then made their way back to the castle. Harry stopped her before they got to the steps. "Hermione, why did you do all this? You didn't have to…" Harry was puzzled as to why someone would go out of their way so much just for him.
Hermione turned to him, with a soft smile gracing her lips. She came forward and gave him a hug, which he returned, slightly suprised. Harry felt her soft, cold lips brush against his cheek, then met her gaze, "Because I wanted to, Harry. I'm not going to have a good time in Hogsmeade if you're not there."
"Ron would be there." Harry countered, looking into her eyes.
"I know. But you wouldn't be," she replied simply and with that, Hermione turned back to the castle doors and went inside, Harry right behind her with a goofy grin on his face.
Their first kiss…
Harry tried the Summoning Charm again, successfully making the book in Hermione's hands zoom into his outstretch one. He grinned, this was getting easy. Hermione nodded her head in approval before picking up her Charms' book .
"You're getting quite good at this, Harry! You should do fine tomorrow, though I know I'll still be scared out of my wits with you near a dragon!" Hermione said, slightly worried, but Harry could see the praise in her eyes.
They continued working on the charm for another fifteen minutes, before deciding to turn in for the night.
Harry awkwardly walked with Hermione to the Girls' Dormitories, not really knowing how he could even begin to thank her for all she had done for him tonight. He heard her mutter a soft goodnight before she began climbing the staircase. "Hermione, wait!"
She slowly turned around and looked at Harry quizzically, "Yes, Harry?"
He ran a nervous hand through his hair, and waved for her to come back down.
She was now standing just a few feet in front of him, now looking slightly worried, "Harry, what is it?"
"I. . .I just wanted to say thanks; you've saved my butt from becoming dragon food tomorrow!" Harry laughed nervously.
Hermione gave him a shove and said seriously, "Harry, don't even say that! I'm already worried enough about you, I don't want to even think about you getting eaten by a dragon!"
Harry gave her an apologetic smile and said softly, "I'm sorry, Hermione. Do you. . .do you think I can do this thing?" He asked, feeling slightly frightened about the next day's events.
Hermione was suddenly in his arms, giving him a fierce hug, which he returned whole-heartedly. Somehow, they ended up lying on the couch, Hermione leaning on Harry, just holding onto each other.
Breaking the silence, Hermione looked up at Harry and said softly, "I know you can do this, Harry. You're an excellent wizard, and as long as you pay attention, you will walk away from this relatively unscathed."
Harry looked in her eyes and could see the unweaving support for him shining back. He slowly leaned toward her, his hand coming up to rest behind her neck. He let their foreheads touch for a second, both their eyes fluttering shut, before pressing his lips to her's. His nervousness seemed to melt away when he felt her press her body to his, her arms encircling his neck.
The kiss lasted only a few seconds, so innocent and pure it was almost heartbreaking.
When they parted, they looked into each other eyes and gave a small smile to each other. Harry hugged her body to his and she laid her head on his shoulder. He absentmindedly twirled her hair between his fingers while they both stared into the Common Room fire.
Harry clenched his teeth and felt fresh tears slide down his cheeks. That kiss had meant so much to him. It was such a strong expression of his affection towards her, despite how brief and innocent. He remembered that he used to think that night was the very beginning of relationship with his best friend, but really, now looking back, he knew they started a relationship when they were on the Hogwarts Express when they were eleven. They just acknowledged it that night, and ever since that fateful night in the Common Room, Harry and Hermione had been completely inseparable. Their budding relationship had made Harry's fallout with Ron a bit worse, but things still worked out smoothly. Ron realized how much they cared for each other and just let them be, and his crush on Hermione burnt out soon afterward.
Harry had put Hermione in so much danger that year, and the years after that as well. Being his girlfriend had caused her loads of backlash from other witches and the media, but she did her best to ignore it. Harry remembered how scared he was when they would print out some new scandalous story about them, not just that year, even in years afterwards. He was always waiting for Hermione to get fed up with it and just leave. Leave him for another boy that didn't have his life messed up or someone that wasn't marked for death.
But she didn't. She waited out the storm with him for years, not once complaining. Not once not being there for him.
The night they first made love. . .
Hermione was staying with him at Sirius and Lupin's beach house during the summer before seventh year like she always did. They had been dating for two and a half years by now, and were completely, hopelessly in love with each other. There had been some sort of festival on the beach that night. Everyone was gathered around the fire, singing and laughing. Harry had Hermione in his lap with a blanket around his shoulders and his arms crossed in front of her to keep her warm. Somehow though, they managed to leave the party unnoticed, and made their own little fire on in a secluded part of the beach and for awhile, they just laid there on the blanket, just talking.
One thing had led to another, and before either of them knew it, they were kissing each other. Hands and mouths roamed each other's body as they stretched out on the blanket. Harry settle himself between her legs and slowly took off his white t-shirt, his eyes never leaving her's. Neither of them had been sure about what they were doing, but instinct and they're old explorations led a path they were both ready to follow now.
Her body had looked so gorgeous to him that night as the flames and Harry's eyes danced along her skin. Her swim suit had concealed just how beautiful she was, but Harry's trembling hands slowly divested her of the bothersome garment and he let his eyes drink in the sight of her. His hands began to slowly explore her curves and crevices, not letting an inch of her untouched. His mouth had soon replaced his hands, and the taste of her skin had sent him straight to heaven. With every sound that came out of her mouth, with every move her body made, with every touch from her soft hands, Hermione told him how much she loved him. She told him how much she wanted him to make her his fully.
The feel of her naked skin against his own took him to a completely new high he never knew and never wanted to know with anyone but Hermione . The feel of her hot warmth around him. The look of pain on her face that broke his heart as she gave him her innocence. The feel of her wet mouth moaning in his ear, reassuring him this is what she wanted. The sheer look of passion in her eyes as they made love that night. They both cried out each other's names in pure ecstasy. Their moans mixing with the heat from the fire and the whispering of the trees.
Minutes, hours, days, maybe even years later, they just laid there with each other. Both content and full of love for each other.
Slowly, Harry placed a kiss on Hermione's bare shoulder and whispered, "I love you, Hermione, more than anything."
She raised her head from his chest and replied softly, "I love you to, Harry, forever and always."
Harry knew he would never forget that night. He would never forget that night as long as he lived.
And still, the memory was etched in his mind just as vividly as if it had happened a mere hour ago. The sounds of their pleasure, the taste of their sweat mixing as their bodies became one. The warmth of the fire and feel of the sand under the blanket. The feel of one another's naked skin. The way their bodies complimented one another's perfectly. Harry could still remember it all, as it was one of his most sacred memories of them together, coming a close second to their wedding day.
Their wedding. It had been disastrously perfect. Every possible thing that could have went wrong did, from mixing up the groom's mens' robes to Hermione almost tripping on her walk up to altar. But the most important part, the exchanging of the vows, had gone without a hitch.
Their wedding vows. . .
Harry stared at Hermione, who's face was slightly flushed from embarrassment because of her clumsiness. But one loving look from Harry reassured her and she seemed to have completely forgotten about almost falling. Instead, she concentrated on her lover's face.
Harry cleared his throat hoarsely, nervousness ebbing away just from the look Hermione was giving him. All thoughts of somehow mucking up his words were now gone, replaced by just the mere vision of her, "Hermione, we've been best friends for as long as I can remember, and I feel as if I'm the luckiest bloke on Earth just to have you're friendship. You've been there for me, no matter the situation or how much danger it would put you in. You've saved my life time and time again. You have been so caring and loving to me, I know there is no way I could ever thank you enough, no matter how much I tried. But I'm dedicating the rest of my life on trying to show you my thanks. I want to love you, to take care of you, and have a family with you. I love you more than I ever thought possible. You never cease to amaze me on what a wonderful person you are. And I want be amazed by you in every way for the rest of my life. I want to be yours forever, Hermione." Tears were slowly sliding down his cheeks as he finished his vows, his voice cracking slightly at the end. Hermione reached up to brush away his tears, though her eyes were brimming over as well.
"Harry, you are the most important person in my life, and there is nothing I'd love more than to be able to stand by you for the rest of my life, to be your wife and the mother of your children. This whole thing is more than just a dream come true. It surpasses even my most wildest dreams. I almost feel as if I've been waiting for this day ever since I was eleven. But it's here now, and I just know we're going to be together forever. You're my soul mate, Harry. It's always been you." Tears were sliding down both Harry and Hermione's cheeks, and Hermione gave a soft choke before continuing, "I love you more than I could ever even begin to explain. I want to grow old with you. And know that I will always be there for you, no matter what. As for thanking me the rest of your life, there's no need because you've been there just as many time for me as I have been for you. I love you Harry Potter, more than words can express. You won me over and made me fall head over feet for you the first time I saw you on the train in broken glasses. You're my best friend, and I want to be yours forever, Harry, everyday for the rest of my life."
The rest of her life. Harry shook as a fresh wave of sobs wrecked his body. She had kept her oath to him and loved him unconditionally until the day she died. It had been so unfair how she had been snatched away from his so. It was almost ironic in how Harry finally thought things would be smooth sailing for them. Voldemort was gone, and they were safe. They could let their guard down a bit. How could he let her die like that? How could he let her be murdered? Why didn't he prevent it? He should have been there that night! He should have saved her kept her away from harm, like he vowed he would ever since the day he met her.
But he didn't. He wasn't there that terrible night.
The night his newlywed was taken away from him. . .
Harry was on his way to the market to get some ice cream Hermione had wanted. She was at home, finishing up the pizza and picking out a movie for them to watch. Tonight they were just going to lounge around. It had been a hectic week, so they figured this weekend would be as good as any to just relax. Harry was whistling contently as he got out of his car and walked into the market. He searched the dairy aisle for Hermione's favorite ice cream, but the second he opened the door to the freezer, he suddenly got a bad feeling. Something settled into the pit of his stomach, and he didn't like it. Brushing it aside as a stomach ache, he made a note to stop by the medicine aisle as well.
The line was long, and he was beginning to get impatient because he wanted to get back home to Hermione. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he was cashed out and hastily made his way back to his car. For some odd reason, Harry felt that sick feeling again, and involuntarily began to sweat. Something was going on. His breathing quickened as his palms became slick and were slippery on the steering wheel.
"Get a grip, Potter, nothing's wrong. Pull yourself together," but still, his foot increased pressure on the gas pedal once he was out of the parking lot, and he was in a hurry to get back home to reassure himself nothing was wrong. But suddenly, he saw lights in his rearview mirror, and after cursing under his breath, he pulled to the side of the road.
A Muggle police officer came to the window and asked, "Where's the fire, son? Don't you think you're driving just a bit on the fast side?"
Harry looked up at the older man, "I'm sorry, I guess I'm in a rush to get home and I wasn't paying attention to my speeding. It's been a hectic week and I just want to get home to my wife," Harry explained, hoping the police man would just give him a warning and let him go.
The man chuckled, and the man's gold tooth reflected in the flashing lights., "I know that feeling, but still, we've got to take precautions now days, especially on Friday nights." Harry nodded, and tapped his steering wheel impatiently.
There was a silence for a moment while the older man just looked at Harry.
Finally, Harry asked, "So, um, do I get a ticket or a warning? Exactly what are you wanting? Like I said, I'm in a bit of a hurry. My wife is expecting me home."
"Well, I reckon I better take a gander at your driver's license, and your insurance information if you don't mind."
Harry nodded and quickly got the asked for information out. The man looked at if for a few minutes, before taking it back to his car. Harry watched in the rearview mirror and glanced at the digital clock on the radio.
There was that feeling again.
Finally, after waiting ten minutes, he was released with a warning and he quickly sped away towards his house, his heart sinking lower every second.
He dashed up his steps and into his house, finding the door unlocked. "Hermione!" He called, running from room to room, but there was no sign of his wife. "Hermione!" He hollered again, but still, there was no response.
Tears continued to travel down Harry's face as he bit his thumb to stop himself from screaming as the memory of that night flashed before his eyes. . .
"HERMIONE!" Harry yelled frantically, tears stinging at his eyes. He ran in the kitchen just in time for the smoke alarm to go off. Black smoke was coming out of the oven. Harry quickly turned both the alarm and oven off, but still, no sign of Hermione. He ran up the hall and found his bedroom door shut. He quickly opened it, "Hermione? Are you in here, baby? Oh, God, please say you-" All the color drained from Harry's face.
On their bed laid Hermione, clothes torn and bloodied. Harry felt a wave of tears brim at his eyes as he looked at his wife, his best friend for years, his soul mate. He rushed to her side and pulled her head up, shaking her slightly, but got no response.
"Hermione!" he cried, sobbing uncontrollably now. "Don't be dead. . .please don't be dead! Hermione! Wake up!" He tried to fix her hair, but it was matted with blood and he couldn't even find the wound. "So much blood. . .so much bl. . ." He hugged her lifeless body to his chest. After sobbing for a few minutes, he controlled himself enough to give her a once over. Her beautiful face was covered in cuts and her hair was all matted. A bruise was on her left temple. Her hands on defensive wounds on them, telling him she had fought back.
He pulled her body closer to his and began rocking her slightly, softly singing a soothing song he had written for her a long time ago. Tears mixed with her blood, which he was now covered in. His voiced cracked, but he tried to keep singing. She always loved when he sang to her, she said it made her feel peaceful. How could she be gone? She said she'd be with him forever.
Harry slowly tried to stand, but crumpled to the ground. He suddenly felt a strong arm grab his shoulder, and looked up with bloodshot eyes to see his best mate looking down at him sorrowfully.
"Harry. . ." Ron's voice was hoarse, and he looked awkward and terribly sad. "Come on, mate, let's get you up." He tried to help Harry, but Harry just shoved him away.
"Don't touch me!" Harry shouted, wrenching free from Ron's grip. "Look at her! It's not fair! It's not fair, dammit!" Harry staggered slightly as he tried to stand. Ron just looked at him pitifully.
"Look, mate, I know it's hard on you-"
Harry's eyes burned with anger, "You don't know anything! You have Luna! You didn't lose the most important person to you!"
Ron felt his temper start to rise, but he knew how emotionally drained Harry was right now, and they didn't need to start a nasty row. "Look, we all loved Hermione, maybe not as much as you, but I've been her friend since I was eleven too. I cared about her too."
Harry just stared at Ron as if he had never seen him before, "Not like me. No one cared for her like I did. No one knew her like I did. No one loved her like I did!" Harry was getting louder with each word, before finally, Ron slapped him across the face to get him to under control. Harry fell to his knees, feeling powerless. He broke down, his body contracting with sobs. Ron crouched down and hugged him, letting Harry cry on his shoulder.
Harry's voice choked as he admitted softly, "I miss her, Ron. I miss her so goddamn much and it kills me to know this happened to her. To know that I wasn't there to protect her. . ."
Ron didn't know what to say. He tried to clear his throat, "Look, mate, things just happen. It's not your fault. . .it's that bastard's that killed her fault. It-"
Harry shook his head, "Because of me! He killed her because she was my wife. She was my everything!"
Ron was silent.
Harry tried to calm down for a few minutes, before looking down and saying softly, "Look, Ron, do you think you could, I dunno, I just want to say a few things to Mione, alone."
"Of course, mate," and with that, the red haired man walked away, leaving Harry with his lifeless wife.
Harry slowly made his way up to her casket again. He took the cold hand back in his.
"I failed you, Mione. I failed at something I swore I would never fail at. But I did. And I don't know what to do. I can't let you just leave me, Hermione. I'm going to find that guy, if it's the last thing I do. And I'm going to get you back." Harry choked, "I am going to bring you back, Hermione, I swear to God you will walk this Earth again. Your time isn't up yet. We've still got to have children and carry on the Potter name. We've still got to watch our kids grow up and have children." Harry sobbed again, "You're coming back, Hermione. You have to. . ." and with those last words, Harry Potter kissed his wife's cold, lifeless lips, as if to seal the deal. Rain slowly started to come down, mixing with Harry's tears. He closed his eyes, and yelled hopelessly, "HERMIONE!"
Leaving flowers on your grave
Show that I still care
But black roses and hail Mary's
Can't bring back what's taken from me
I reach to the sky
And call out your name
And if I could trade
I would
And it feels
And it feels like
Heaven's so far away
And it stings
Yeah it stings now
The world is so cold
Now that you've gone away
"Gone Away" THE OFFSPRING
Thanks for reading, and PLEASE tell me what you think! Review keep me going!!!
*~Archie~*