Luck o' the Irish
A/N: Hey, everyone. This is a little fic that was originally inspired by St. Patrick's Day, but really is dedicated and inspired by the Evil Leprechaun Family, who are now and forevermore reduced to three in membership.
Description: It all started out as a foolish game, whimsical and non-sensical, but what came from the game would change their lives.
Chapter 1:
Evil Leprechauns?!
I really don't know where all the nonsense started. I don't even remember why I agreed to be the Vice-President of the stupid club. Which really wasn't a club, in the beginning. It was more of a stupid way to act stupid together. I still don't know why we couldn't have just done dumb stuff without the club, but whatever. All I really know for sure is that it was all Ron's fault for starting it after his "inspiration" from the Irish team's mascot at the Quidditch World Cup.
During the match, the veela angered the leprechauns, and they made a formation to flip off the opposing team. How immature can it get? But, whatever. Anyways, Harry and I were just watching the leprechauns when Ron turned to us with a stunned look on his face.
"What's wrong with you, mate?" Dang it, Harry. You just had to ask.
"They're bloody evil leprechauns!"
"Ronald, what's your point?" Being the only girl in a group of guys, it is normally my job to make sense of their often-pointless ideas.
"We should be the evil leprechaun family!"
At this point, both Harry and I just stared at him blankly.
"Uh, mate? Have you been sneaking firewhiskey when we weren't looking?"
Ron sighed, exasperated. "Of course not! We can start a little club, just the three of us! We'll be the leprechaun family, and it will give us an opportunity to do dumb stuff without shame!"
I couldn't help but roll my eyes and sigh. "Sorry, but Harry and I aren't…"
"That's a brilliant idea, mate!" I couldn't believe that Harry agreed with Ron on such an idiotic subject!
"I can be prime minister, since it was my idea, and Harry, you can be the whole Parliament! But what should Hermione be appointed?"
"Nothing," I hissed. "Because this is absolutely idiotic! What's the point of being an evil leprechaun?"
"What's funnier than a crazed leprechaun? Hey, she could be a vice-president of sorts!"
"Great idea, Harry! What do you say, Hermione? Please join us! It won't be any fun if it's not all three of us together." At the same time, Harry and Ron gave me identical puppy dog pouts, making my frown falter. I had to join. Who else would watch out for them?
"All right, you two. I give in." Harry gave a whoop and Ron jumped into the air with glee. When Ireland won the match, their enthusiasm for the club was intensified greatly. We all reached our tents, but instead of sleeping, the guys snuck me out of the girls' tent and took me into a clearing in the woods, complete with a little stump for a table and logs for seats.
Ron cleared his throat and pulled some papers out of his pocket. "We are gathered here today to create the rules of the Evil Leprechaun Family, or E.L.F., as it will be more commonly known. First, we need to develop a motto of sorts."
"Ooh, I know!" Harry waved his hand in the air, making my hair fly up as he accidentally hit it. "The first line can be `We are the Evil Leprechaun Family, we can't be trusted by anybody!'"
"I like that! `If you see us, you better run…'" Ron stopped and searched his little pea-sized brain for a rhyming line. A series of words struck my mind, and even though I thought the whole idea was stupid, I couldn't help but tell them!
"Cause we'll chase you with a green coffee mug!" I blurted before clasping my hands over my mouth in my daring. Harry and Ron looked at me in shock. Ron finally smiled and repeated the whole motto back to us.
"We are the evil leprechaun family, we can't be trusted by anybody.
If you see us, you better run, cause we'll chase you with a green coffee mug!" I couldn't help myself; I collapsed against Harry's shoulder in hysterics at the stupidity of it all. True, it was stupid, but it was actually kinda funny. Ron gave me a pleased look and got down to business.
"We need a mascot. I have an idea." He pulled out a crude drawing of a leprechaun with glowing red eyes, left hand clenched in a fist and the right holding a wooden club above his head. "I call him Ian McSnaughtermanjenkins."
"Oh, he could have a little enemy called `The Treasure Hunter'! He can have high water pants and jelly stains all over!" Okay, what had gotten into me? This idiotic club was making me act like a fool!
Harry smiled and took a piece of paper from Ron. "As all the divisions of Parliament, I make and second the motion that we need to get some rules for this club." He took out a quill and wrote E.L.F. at the top, writing an exquisite looking number one beneath it. "On St. Patrick's Day, you must wear all green and talk like a true Celtic."
"That's a good one!" Ron was getting excited. "And we have to eat Lucky Charms!"
A flicker of an idea flashed in Harry's eyes, and, abandoning paper, stood up and went to the side of the log.
He stuck out his left foot before saying, "Hearts, stars, and," he extended his left arm over his left foot. "Horseshoes!" Out went the right foot. "Clovers and," Out went the right arm. "Blue Moons!" The left foot was leveled with the right. "Pots o' Gold and," He gave two bunny hops. "Rain-Bows!" I began to laugh uproariously at the next part when he began to wiggle his butt uncontrollably. "And the Red Balloons!" He walked calmly back to the paper and began to write again. Ron looked at him goggle-eyed.
"THAT WAS BRILLIANT! THAT HAS TO BE OUR OFFICIAL DANCE!"
"Ron," I hissed, "You can't expect me to ever do that!"
Harry grinned. "I can teach it to you both!" He grabbed my hands and dragged me over to the clearing, and advanced to teach me the most idiotic thing I've ever done in my life. After a while, it did become a bit fun, and I couldn't believe how liberal I was behaving! Nobody outside of the clearing could ever know that I had ever participated in the "lucky charms dance."
"Okay, guys." I breathed slowly, moving my hands to show that I meant what I said. "I know what the third rule should be. The E.L.F. must be a complete and total secret."
"Done," Harry said as he wrote it down on paper. "Now, we all have to sign our names to approve the rules and consent to our positions." Three blank lines appeared. When Ron signed the top one, Prime Minister popped up to the right of his name. Harry signed the bottom line, and Parliament popped up as his title. He handed the quill to me, and I took it shakily. I signed my full name and watched hypnotically as Vice-President popped up beside my name.
If I had only known what I had just gotten myself into, I would have run from the clearing and never turned back for anything in the world.
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