DISCLAIMER: Not mine. JKR's.
A/N: The tone of this is quite dramatic but it suits the mood and hopefully adds something to the quality of the piece as opposed to drawing away from it.
The beginning is Harry's general thoughts with regard to life and the healing powers of Hermione's love. Sometimes it might appear as though Hermione is there with him…and other times as though she isn't. This all comes from his troubled mind.
Thank you for reading…I hope you feel compelled to leave a review.
H_HrFan
~~~~~~~~~Harry~~~~~~~~~~~
Façade
I feel the gentle caress of your hands on my body even as I sleep. It is a comfort to me on the long, cold nights when I lie alone with only my dreams. It is a thousand night's comfort when your caress awakens me and I find the reality that is the soft contours of your body melding exquisitely with mine.
You touch me as though I am made of fine China, though we both know that I am not. I have been dropped, cracked…but never have I broken. I am strong in so many ways, and yet fragile in many others. Only you can see my weaknesses. Only you have borne witness to the times when my façade has fallen…and shattered when it hit the ground.
Each night, when I retire, I throw off the masquerade, breaking it into a million tiny, indiscernible fragments. I bare my soul for me alone, lest the disguises become my reality … and I lose sight of why I am here. Every morning when I awaken I find that the shards have been meticulously restored; my mask is whole and once again placed carefully upon my face…at home, where it belongs.
Your words, whispered softly into my ear, fill me like nothing else can and the world and all its worries slip silently away. I close my eyes and I am blind to all the pain, to all life's misery and heartbreak.
There was a time when a sharpened blade gave me the fulfillment I so desperately craved. Lines of pleasured-pain bisected across the flesh of my youth, marring my skin. The scars, visible reminders of what used to be, have nearly faded with time; their white, pearlescent hue no longer stands out in sharp contrast to the pallor of my skin. Your fingers trace the fine lines as you seek to comfort a long-held ache born and bred deep within. With each touch of your lips to the scars of my past, the healing begins anew, and I find myself longing for the day when the past is laid to rest and all that I have is the here and now…with you.
"You will never be loved, Potter. You are nothing; a monstrosity, abhorrent to behold."
Words cut deep when you're a child; deeper than any swipe of a blade, no matter how sharp its point. Five years old is much too young to hear how invaluable you are…twenty years is much too long to go on believing it.
Slowly you are changing me. I can feel it when I look into your eyes; you have become my refuge, my place of solace. No one has ever looked at me the way that you do. No one has ever dared to search beyond the cold, unyielding mask of deception I hide behind. I want to know, to understand what it is that makes you different from the rest, but I fear your reply … and so my questions go unasked. I will not be the catalyst by which you dwell on your reasons, not when they may very well take you from me…I am much too selfish for that.
~~~~~~~~~~Hermione~~~~~~~~~~~
The soft caress of your fingers against my cheek awakens me and a soft mewling sound escapes before I can contain it…I don't want you to stop.
"Please, go on," I say without opening my eyes. I do not need to see to know that it is your hand I feel. I am so attuned to your touch that should my eyes never again see light, I will always know when it is you. A thousand men could put their hand in mine but yours is the only one I would hold on to…and vow to never let go.
I love wakening like this. The tender way the backs of your fingers glide across my shoulder and down my arm leaves me breathless and longing for more. I can feel you leaning forward and I hold my breath in anticipation of your kiss.
"You're beautiful."
Your words are like an electric shock that starts in my chest then furls deep inside my stomach, awaiting its time to ignite. Your fingers return to my neck then slowly travel down my chest, the tips graze my nipple and I gasp the moment your mouth meets mine. Every time it is the same; I know that it is coming and yet the wondrous shock steals my breath and I strive to draw in air.
My eyes drift open as your lips massage mine. You are in no hurry, nor am I. Our kiss is slow, almost lazy; our tongues take their time to converge and intertwine. Your body shifts until your leg rests between mine and your lips find the pulse point on my neck. The sensations that flow through me make me writhe beneath you and I cannot resist the temptation that your leg between mine presents. Slowly my hips begin to rise and fall and softly I call out your name, "Harry," as the pressure within me builds.
The sound of your name falling from my lips is all it takes for you to claim me, and I relish the moment that you do. You fill me so completely that I forget to breathe until an irrepressible whimper escapes me. Your face is so beautiful when you lower your mask and open yourself up to me. It is moments like this when I forget who I am and we become one … mind, body, and soul.
You move so slowly within me that I feel every touch of your flesh within my flesh as you fill me. You pause when the barrier of our physical existence impedes further entry and for a moment, I feel as though a part of me has died. It is at times like this, when our bodies' burn and passion's ache is so all-consuming, that I pray the barriers will fall away so I can draw you into me completely. As you gently move within me I long to feel you possess more than just the spirit of who I am. I want to feel all of you…inside all of me. I want you to know, firsthand, my innermost thoughts and to feel your heart beat in mine.
"I love you," I murmur softly as my lips trail kisses along your neck. You fold your arms, increasing your pace as your hands embrace my head. I look into your eyes and I see both the scared little boy you once were and the man who has always deemed himself unworthy. Unflinchingly I look at you, my eyes boring into yours as I relay to you the words of my heart-
"You are everything to me."
Your head drops slightly yet I refuse to look away.
"You're beautiful."
Your lips find mine and for a moment I am lost in the sensuality. Reluctantly I pull away to deliver one final message…
"There is no one more worthy of this love."
~~~~~~~~~~Harry~~~~~~~~~~~
I still cannot believe the wonder of having you in my arms, nor the sheer beauty that is making love to you. There is so much I want to say to you, whispered words of love and adoration; words my mouth will not form but my heart cannot hide. I hope that you can read my eyes because for you, it is all laid bare.
"I love you."
Your words are like a blade through my heart. They cut in ways that a knife to my skin never could. The pleasured-pain brings with it a rush of warmth that courses through my body; the ache is nearly overwhelming. I fall upon you, unable to hold myself aloft any longer. My hands envelop your head as the speed of my thrusts increase. I look into your eyes, daring myself to hold your gaze.
"You are everything to me."
Another blade brings a rushing of warmth and my head falls; my dare forgotten.
"You're beautiful."
The need to find release swells within me and I kiss your lips. I can feel you succumb to me…then reluctantly, you pull away.
"There is no one more worthy of this love."
"Ahh!" I scream as your words enter my conscious and an all-consuming fire burns through to my very core. My thrusts are almost frantic now. I feel your walls tighten around me. "I love you!" I shout almost breathlessly as together we ignite and the flames engulf us in their glorious heat…and we are once again united as one. "I love you," I say again and again as slowly we reclaim control of our bodies and the emotions that roil within.
Our lips meet as my body slides from yours. They refuse to relinquish their hold as I pull you with me until we are lying together - chest to chest, stomach to stomach - side by side. "You've never looked more beautiful," I say when at last our lips part and I am able to see the splendor that is you - when like me - your mind, body, and soul have been sated.
The soft caress of your hand upon my cheek brings an unwelcome tear to my eye. I know that I am not worthy of such tenderness, and still that is what you give.
With your words-
"Thank you, Harry, for trusting me enough to lower your façade so I can see the beauty of the man who lives within. For being my lover…my best friend…and the only man who could ever make my dreams come true. I love you for all that you are…and for all that we'll ever be together."
…another scar is healed as once again they provide the perfect balm for my weary soul.
I lie on my back and pull you against me. My fingers smooth your hair as you rest your head upon my shoulder and close your eyes. I can feel the change in your breathing and I know that you are nearing sleep. I kiss your head and wait a moment before whispering a soft, "Thank you, Hermione," to your now sleeping form.
In the confines of your arms is where I've come to find my peace. And as I lie here, watching you sleep beside me, the world has never been so quiet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N2: This was originally written for a dear friend [love you, Lex] who ships Snape/McGonagall. I think that as you read it, you can see how it suits Snape's character more so than Harry's…thus making it a tad AU or OOC when told from Harry's PoV.
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