I May Hate Myself in the Morning Mei Queen
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Authoress' Note: Okay, it's been days since I updated this story…hopefully, you all don't hold that against me and actually review!
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Chapter 5: Harry, I'm Pregnant
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"You should tell him," Luna said wisely, cocking her head to the side as she analyzed my story. "Honestly, 'Mione, I don't see another option here."
"I know," I murmured, cheeks reddening, and turning my chair toward the office window. "I just don't know how. It's not something that I'm really comfortable talking about at the Leaky Cauldron, you know?"
"Well, you certainly better not be drinking for a while, missy," Luna deadpanned.
I sighed. "I know, I know…but…well, what would you do, Luna?"
"What would I do?" she asked, weighing the question carefully. "Well, I would make him dinner to relax him a little, sit down, and tell him. Be open about it. Say 'there's something I have to tell you.'"
"Is that too direct?" I asked, worried. "Besides, I made a wildly inappropriate joke in the hospital, now I'm just scared to tell him."
"Why, what did you say?"
"Well…he asked what the nurse couldn't say in front of him…and I said I was pregnant. But I just couldn't go through with it, Luna! He seemed too anxious-- and not unhappily anxious."
"I'm sorry," Luna said, blinking in confusion. "Isn't the fact that he's happy at this news a good thing?"
"Well, yes, but…I don't know. I'm just scared. So I said I was kidding."
Luna shook her head. "Lemme get this straight: you said you were kidding about being pregnant. When you are, in fact, pregnant."
I sighed, shrugging. The situation just felt totally blown out of proportion, and definitely out of control. "Well, when you say it like that…"
Luna snorted in response. "Good luck with this one, duckie."
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When I got home from work, things only got worse when I noticed there was someone waiting on the doorstep for me with a bouquet of roses. I don't like roses, so I knew it wasn't Harry…besides, Harry has his key already. Billy, I noted with annoyance.
Parking my car and quickly hopping out, I shouldered my briefcase and headed to the front door. Billy jumped up to meet me, offering the flowers, which I accepted with a grudging "thank you."
"How have you been, Hermione?"
I couldn't conceal my irritation. "How did you find out where I live? What are you doing here?"
He had the grace to look embarrassed. "I asked Ronald. He said you were living with him, and gave me the address. As to what I'm doing here, I just wanted to see how you have been. I was hoping to take you out tonight."
"Look, Billy, that is so sweet. But I need to cancel our date."
"What?" he said, looking confused. "Are you still not feeling better? If so, that's completely fine. I'll come back whenever you want me to."
I shook my head sadly. "I hate to do this to you, Billy…but things have changed since you saw me last. I can't date you."
"You have a boyfriend?" he asked suspiciously.
"Not exactly," I muttered. "I don't know. I just know that I can't see you, and I hope you can understand that."
Billy nodded slowly, taking his car keys out of his pocket. "I guess I can. I'll see you around, Hermione. You deserve someone great, you know. I hope you've found him."
"I think I have. 'Bye, Billy," I murmured. And with that, I turned my key in the lock, and went inside.
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My mood didn't pick up when I noticed Harry Potter sitting on the couch, using the remote to rapidly flick through the channels. Nature show. Talk show. Harrison Ford movie. American sitcom. I shook my head, closing the door behind me, looking at the roses I was holding with distaste.
"Billy was here," Harry said dully.
"I'm aware. Thanks for the info," I muttered, putting my briefcase down by the coat rack.
"Just saying," he said defensively. "What did he want, anyway?"
I turned to him with irritation, dropping the flowers on the kitchen table. "He wanted to take me to dinner."
He looked up cautiously. "You gonna go?"
"No," I replied coldly. "No, Harry, I'm not. Why else would I still be here?"
"Merlin, I don't see why you're getting hacked off at me here, 'Mione," he replied defensively, clicking off the telly and meeting me in the kitchen.
"I don't know," I said with exasperation. "It's just…it's been a really difficult past few days, okay?"
His eyes softened and he outstretched his arms, pulling me into a hug. "I know, 'Mione. I know. You've gone through a lot. How about a night in, eh? Ron's at another away game tonight…I'll make you dinner and we can watch a movie. Your pick."
I smiled wryly. "You mean, you'll order me in dinner?"
"Same difference," Harry replied with a snort. "Curry all right with you?"
"Sounds lovely. I'll go put on my pajamas and pick out a movie," I replied with a smile. I knew that I had to tell him, and soon, but it just didn't feel right at that moment. I just wanted to have a relaxing night in with him. That's all I wanted. I would tell him soon. Yeah. Soon.
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My Fair Lady had been playing for over an hour now, and the half-eaten curries were in their takeout boxes, forks stuck in each one. Despite my protests that the movie was a classic, Harry had fallen asleep about twenty minutes in and was now drooling on the couch pillow. Charming, I noted with a giggle.
I watched with admiration as Eliza Doolittle burst into song. Now there's a character that knew what she was doing. She ends up with Professor Higgins, the man she loves. What will happen to me? All I really need to do is tell Harry about the baby, and everything will be okay. But part of me really wants to grow to love Harry on my own terms. I want our relationship to progress normally. I want to be together just because we want to be together, not because a baby is forcing us together. I've always said I'd rather be a single mother than have a baby grow up in a household without love…
But is it even possible that a baby of Harry's and mine could grow in a household without love?
Doubtful.
I still need to tell him, though. Merlin. What am I going to say?
Looking over, I noticed that Harry had woken up. "What's up, 'Mione?" he murmured blearily, reaching out a hand to run it over my hair.
"Just got some things on my mind, that's all," I whispered. "You should go back to sleep. You need your rest."
"You should get some sleep too, it's getting late," he said protectively, reaching out his arms for me to relax into them. Doing so, I propped up my feet and let my head fall on the pillow he offered. Mmm… this is comfortable…
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"What are you two doing?" Ron asked curiously, dropping his gear in the foyer. It was early morning, six or so, I'd wager, and he had just gotten home from his away game. He's only been home a minute, and he's already prying into our personal lives, bless him, I thought affectionately. Hopping up from the couch and turning on the coffeemaker, I turned to face him. "Nothing."
"No, 'Mione," Harry protested weakly. "He should know."
"Know what?" Ron asked, sighing as he sank into one of the living room armchairs.
"Yeah, Harry, what should he know?"
"Hermione and I are seeing one another," he said simply, yawning and reaching up to muss his hair with his hand.
"Is this true, 'Mione?" Ron asked.
"Yes, I suppose. We're not official or anything, but we're going on a date soon, and we'll see how it goes from there," I said simply, reaching for a coffee mug.
"That's nice," Ron replied. After a few minutes of silence, he took out a deck of cards. "Anyone up for Exploding Snap?"
"What? You don't care that we're dating?" I asked in shock.
"Not really," he replied. "I figured you would figure it out eventually. Harry, Snap?"
"No thanks, mate. Got work this morning," he replied apologetically. Grabbing a towel, Harry winked at me before closing the door to the bathroom.
This was surreal. Harry had just been up front to Ron about dating me, winked at me with Ron present, and Ron didn't care that we were dating. Someone must have set my alarm clock to "alternate universe" this morning, I thought wryly, pouring myself a cup of coffee. Looking down at the cup, my hand traveled to my still-flat stomach. Looking back down at the cup, I went to the sink, and poured it down the drain.
"What's wrong with the coffee, 'Mione?" Ron called curiously from the living room.
"Bitter this morning," I lied quickly. "I think we might need a new filter in the machine or something."
"I'll look for a new one today if you like," Harry offered, emerging from the bathroom with a towel cinched tightly around his waist. Trying to avert my eyes from his glistening chest, I murmured, "That'd be nice. Thanks."
Trying to shake off the desire I had the more I looked at Harry in his towel; I grabbed a towel and headed for the shower. I think I need a cold one.
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When I got to work that morning, I nodded curtly to my secretary, Robin, giving her a smile as I passed.
"Hermione?" she called before I shut the door to my office.
"Yes?"
"Someone named Billy keeps calling for you," she said with irritation, blowing a strand of her bright red locks out of her eyes. "I must have taken at least twenty messages since yesterday."
"I'm sorry he's harassing you," I said apologetically, accepting the thick stack of messages. "Here," I nodded, handing her a couple pound notes. Why don't you nip out of here and get us some coffees? Get whatever you like, I'm sure you could use a break. I'll get the phones."
She smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Hermione. Your usual?"
Oh, crap. I can't have caffeine because of the baby… "Decaf, actually. I'm trying to wean myself off," I said with a halfhearted chuckle.
"Don't see how someone can work at the ministry with no caffeine," she said with a laugh.
"Well, I'm guessing it won't be easy," I said with a giggle. "Alright, you go. I'll just set this stuff down in my office and get on those phones."
Nodding, she grabbed her purse and headed for the elevators.
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I don't know how Robin does it. The phone rang nonstop while she was gone- all sorts of people, too. Luna called, then Billy called ten times (I told him I meant what I said yesterday, but he doesn't seem to be getting the picture), then there were the charities, banks, businesses…
I don't think I've ever fully realized how nice it is to have someone else field your calls before. But I had to deal with each and every client, and I was actually somewhat happy for the distraction. It was nice not to have to think about Harry or the baby for a change.
Luna was dropping by later that afternoon, too. I was happy about that. I wasn't exactly sure how, but the blonde had become one of my favorite confidants now. I should thank Ernie one of these days, I thought wryly.
Brring, the telephone rang cheerfully. Rolling my eyes, I reached over and picked it up. "Ms. Granger's office," I said in my most pleasant phone tone.
"Is this Hermione Granger?" an authoritative voice asked.
"Yes, may I ask who's calling?" I asked tentatively. A gut feeling told me that there was something bad about this call.
"This is Albert Higgins, the Chief Surgeon here at St. Joseph's. I'm afraid I have some bad news."
My heart sank into my stomach. My entire body felt like ice. Everything in my life hung in this man's next few words.
"Your friend Harry Potter has been in a terrible car accident. He's in critical condition, and listed you as his closest family member. If you want to see him, you should come immediately."
I bolted out of that office so quickly the receiver is probably still hanging off the phone hook.
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I don't remember leaving the Ministry. I don't remember driving to the hospital. I don't remember the pleasant acknowledgments of the staff. I only remember going to the front desk, crying.
"Where's Harry?" I demanded, pounding the counter of the front desk. It was then that I realized I'd forgotten my briefcase at work. I had no money, mobile phone, anything. Not that it mattered.
"Harry who, dear?" the kind nurse enquired, taking the quill from behind her ear to look through the hospital's patient listing.
"Potter. Where is he?"
Her eyes widened. "He's in our emergency room. They're about to put him in to surgery. Are you family?"
"Yes," I said resolutely, tearing up again. Taking the visitation badge and clipping it onto my shirt collar, I listened carefully to the older woman's directions. Heading toward the emergency room, my heart sank at the thought of what I would find there. Was he seriously hurt? He had to be, for them to call me down here, especially for the Chief Surgeon to. Surgeons don't just take time out of their busy schedules to call their patients' family…unless it's vital. Unless it's the last time I ever see him, I thought, a knot forming in my stomach, suddenly feeling ill.
Here we are, I thought to myself in terror, noting the door's number. Room number 146B. Please let him be okay…
The scene when I walked in made any part of me that wasn't already terrified turn to ice. Harry was in the hospital bed, asleep, cuts all over his face. It looked like he may have actually had glass embedded in his face and hair. IVs were hooked up to his arms, and those same arms were dotted with bruises.
"What happened to you, Harry?" I murmured quietly, stepping into the room, empty except for Harry and me.
The sound of my voice woke him from his peace less slumber. "'Lo, Hermione."
"Hi, Harry," I breathed, walking up to take his hand in mine. "How are you doing?"
He gave a wry chuckle. "Been better."
"What happened?" I asked, shocked. "This morning you were fine…"
"Things happen quickly, don't they?" he quipped.
Looking down at my stomach, then back at Harry, I smiled wryly. "They sure do. So, do you know all what's wrong with you?"
"Well, I was driving my little car and it was rammed into on the side by a much bigger vehicle," he groaned. "So you know…the usual. Two broken ribs, glass embedded in my skin they have to pick out because the windshield collapsed, stuff like that."
I gasped in shock. "I'm just glad you're okay. I was so worried when I got the call."
"Yeah," he said with a wince, trying to sit up in his bed. "I knew that would worry you…I tried to convince them to be less scary about it, but the Chief Surgeon says for any types of rib injuries, it's just their standard procedure, I guess."
"Well, I'm glad they called," I said with a smile, caressing his hand gently. "Look, I know this isn't the best time, but there's something I need to tell you."
"You can tell me anything, 'Mione, you know that," he said with a grin, reaching out to ruffle my hair gently.
I smiled in response. My palms started sweating. Butterflies started flapping around in my stomach. But I had to tell him. I almost lost him today, and he would have died without knowing. I couldn't bear the thought of that. Taking a deep breath, I said, "Harry, I'm pregnant."
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Authoress' Note: So sorry for the delay and hiatus of this story. Hope you enjoyed the chapter, even though it was shorter than usual (but it also had more plot than usual, so I think that's a fair compromise, lol). Please review! They're good for the soul!