I forgot to add a disclaimer, so here it is: I don't own Harry Potter, and I'm not J.K.Rowling
-Broken, Healed and Shattered-
When Lily Marie Catherine Evans was eleven years old, a letter had sailed right through her window and landed on her bed, where she sat, reading a fairytale. A letter which, upon her reading of it, explained everything she had been unable to figure out about herself, and sent her straight into the seventh heaven of delight.
Finally, here was an explanation for all of the mysterious happening that occurred around her. It explained why her hair would grow back the day after it was cut. It explained why the porridge she detested would vanish completely from the bowl every morning when her parents weren't looking. It explained why, on one occasion when she had snuck down to the servant quarters and her mother had almost caught her, she had managed to vanish from the spot she had been standing in, only to reappear in front of her own bedroom.
She had thrown her storybook aside, raced downstairs to the drawing room, and announced to her mother, father, and three businessmen:
`Mother, mother, I'm a witch!'
Her parents had laughed airily, explaining to their guests that their youngest daughter had quite an overactive imagination, and liked to play pretend games with her sister. It was only when Lily persisted, insisting that she was a witch and she had a letter to prove it, that her mother dragged her from the room and berated her for embarrassing herself and her father in front of such important people. Without been given the chance to explain, she was brought up to her room and locked there for the rest of the day, as punishment for lying.
The letter came from Hogwarts, a school for witchcraft and wizardry. It told her that she was being offered a place, enclosed a booklist and directions to Diagon Alley, and was signed by a woman called Minerva McGonagall. That was all Lily knew, but it was enough to make her happier than she had ever been before or since. The next day, her mother and father had finally seen it, and their reaction was not what Lily had expected or hoped for. In her naivety, she had believed that her parents would be as delighted and proud as she was.
In fact, they had been horrified. Their daughter was a witch! They had never known that such people existed. To think that their daughter, their youngest daughter, would be so abnormal, it was appalling and disgraceful. What shame it would inflict upon the family if anyone were to find out.
So they had taken it from her, forbade her to mention it to anyone, and written back informing this `McGonagall character' that their daughter would not be attending Hogwarts.
And Lily's heart had broken.
Being a rather stubborn and unruly child, she had not easily given in to their whims. She kicked and screamed, threw things, upturned tables, cried, and made a spectacle of herself whenever they had company. She acted like this for exactly a month, until her parents had eventually given in and compromised. She could go to Diagon Alley, buy a wand, spellbooks and anything else she needed, and teach herself magic. On the subject of school they were unmovable. She would not be attending such a place, and that was final.
It had been enough for Lily. Accompanied by the household's two most trusted servants, she had bought everything she could find, and threw herself into learning magic in her free time. Her parents did try to prevent her as much as possible, sending her to a finishing school, busying her day with music lessons and calls, and letting her take riding lessons, something she had always wanted but never been allowed.
Despite their best efforts, Lily flourished under her own teaching. Showing an intelligence beyond her years and an aptitude that would have shocked her had she known other magical people of her age, she quickly mastered basic magic, and now, at age seventeen, she was as qualified as any Hogwarts seventh year, although she thought herself not to be. After all, who did she have to compare herself with?
Her parents were unaware of her powers, Lily having feigned an increasing disinterest in magic as she grew older. That way, she was left alone, she got no grief from her mother, and they had eventually let her leave that awful finishing school.
All in all, Lily had been reasonably content.
That was, until after Petunia had gotten married.
Petunia was Lily's senior by three years, and they were as similar as black and white, in looks as well as personality. Petunia was tall and tanned, with blonde hair, pale blue eyes, a long neck, and a boyish frame. Her only ambition in life was to marry and bear children, an ambition that had been fulfilled only two months ago, when she had given birth to her first son, Dudley. Her marriage to Lord Vernon Dursley had been widely publicized throughout England, and she had moved to London, where she was blissfully happy.
It pained Lily to think of her sister. As children, she and Petunia were the best of friends. They would dance and sing around the manor, dressing in their mothers party gowns and pretending to be princesses in a faraway land, trapped in a tower while their handsome princes would slay dragons and fight ogres to rescue them. They would read to each other, braid each others hair, and giggle at all the frightful old stiffs who made their parents acquaintance. When Lily had gotten her Hogwarts letter, Petunia had, for some reason, developed an unwarranted hatred for her from that day on. They rarely spoke, lest it be a matter of up most importance, and Petunia would make hurtful comments to her when their parents were not around.
In the position Lily was currently in, she wished more than anything that she could have her sister back. Petunia used to listen to her, stand up for her when her parents were being unfair, and help her in any way she could. If Petunia had been on her side, maybe things would have been different for Lily.
But then again, perhaps not.
Lily wanted many things in life. Many were things she knew she could never have, like a proper magical education, and she had resigned herself to that fate. She used to dream about escaping from her aristocratic family and starting again, as an ordinary person, free to make her own choices. Sometimes she would contemplate cutting all her hair off and jumping on a ship or a train. Living as a boy would be a small price to pay for her freedom, but she could never bring herself to do it. She longed to be able to help people less fortunate than herself, longed to be able to have a career like her father, maybe a Healer, a writer, a politician or(when she was feeling really daring) an Auror. She longed to be able to say exactly what she wanted, whenever she wanted. All of these were dreams she knew she could never realize, and she had learned to be content.
But when her mother announced that she would be choosing a suitor for her daughter, Lily's heart, the heart that had been broken at eleven and gradually pieced back together, had shattered, with no hope of repair.
She knew of the exact type of man that her mother wanted for her. He would be well educated, well dressed, well mannered, wealthy, traditional, non-confrontational and sensible, all of which were admirable qualities. With a husband like that, she would live a comfortable life, surrounded by every luxury she could ask for. She would have to do nothing but smile prettily, arrange dinner parties, and agree with his every word.
But she wouldn't have to love him.
By nature, Lily was passionate and romantic. The idea of falling in love was important to her, the one dream that hadn't yet been quashed. The man of her dreams would, like herself, put no importance on status or money. He would respect her and listen to her opinion. He would even argue with her. Lily knew that she needed someone she could argue with. He would do things on the spur of the moment. He wouldn't be constantly well groomed or polite.
Most importantly, the man she loved would surely be the man who allowed her to realize her other dreams. Otherwise, why would she love him?
As a child she would revel in the world of handsome princes and knights, brave, daring men who would go to any lengths to rescue their love. As she got older and yearned for freedom, she realized quite quickly that, being a woman, she couldn't change her situation. She hadn't the respect or the power. Only a man could change things for her, even though she wanted the ability to do it herself more than anything.
She needed to be rescued.
Telling herself that her prince didn't exist did nothing to help her. In her heart of hearts, she knew that there were men like that in the world, she would just never have one for herself.
Lily had faced many disappointments, even at her young age, but knowing she was to spend the rest of her life with a man she didn't love was tearing her apart.
***
`Allow me to introduce to you my youngest daughter, Lily.'
`It's a pleasure to meet you, and may I say how charming you look this evening, Miss Lily.'
`Why thank you Lord Chamberly, it's so lovely to finally make your acquaintance. I have heard many wonderful things about you from my brother-in-law.'
`Oh dear, what has my cousin been telling people?'
Lily laughed politely at his weak joke, just like her mother had told her. She was used to banter like this, and wondered dully whether she could ever get used to spending the rest of her life having uninteresting conversations that lacked in meaning or intellect.
Maybe, when she lived at Chamberly manor, she could bring Laura.
Laura Finnegan was Lily's maid and dresser. She had been working for the Evans family from the age of thirteen, when Lily was nine. Against all propriety, she and Lily had formed a close friendship, which was kept a secret, like so many other things, from her parents and sister. It was Laura to whom Lily told her troubles, it was Laura who would test Lily on her spellwork, it was Laura who went out in secret once a month and bought Lily's Potions ingredients, and it was Laura who knew every one of Lily's secrets. It was Lily, and Lily alone, who knew Laura's secret. She was a Squib, a non magical person from a wizarding family. It was because of her that Lily had so much knowledge on the wizarding world. Laura would sit in her tiny bedroom with Lily and tell her everything she wanted to know. She didn't live with her own family because she had wanted to support herself. The rest of her siblings had gone to Hogwarts and Laura had thought it best to cut herself off from that world to avoid the pain of jealousy. She still knew plenty about magic and wizarding communities, and was able to describe things like Quidditch to Lily in detail.
After being briefly introduced to Lords Davenport, Hastings, Spencer and their wives, and the very briefest of greetings with Petunia and Vernon, Lily found herself seated directly beside Lord Chamberly. He was, just as Lily had expected, pristine and presentable. He was tall and lean, with sandy brown hair, brown eyes, a rather large nose, and a serious disposition. There was nothing remarkable in his manner, conversation or otherwise, but he seemed nice and respectful, so Lily tried to count her blessings, and reminded herself that it could have been worse. He was a successful solicitor, and he had two houses, one in London, where Lily presumed they would be living after she married him, and one in Brighton, beside the seaside, which only served to cheer her up slightly.
Unbeknownst to her, that house in Brighton would bring about an even bigger change in her life than finding she was a witch.
`Your mother tells me that you can read French.'
`And German,' Lily began, but then bowed her head at the look upon her mothers face. It wouldn't do to come across as arrogant. `Of course, I'm not very good at either, Lord Chamberly.'
`Nonsense, my darling,' her mother cut in fondly. `She is quite marvelous at both.'
`I spent two years in France during my youth,' said Chamberly amiably. `It would please me to go back one day.'
`Surely not alone?" Petunia questioned.
`I am hoping that I may soon be bringing my wife there on honeymoon.'
Lily started to have some difficulty swallowing her lamb.
`How excellent!' her mother exclaimed. `You know, Lily has always wanted to go to France.'
`Have you?"
She eventually managed to choke down her lamb, and smiled.
`Yes, I would love to, one day.'
`Then perhaps one day you shall.'
The evening wore on, and to Lilys dismay, Lord Chamberly was clearly enamored by her. He dropped many compliments, stared at her a great deal, and asked her far too many questions about herself. Despite her best efforts to act happy and interested, she found herself quiet and staring at her plate, only half listening as conversation turned to Chamberlys practice in London, her father's business, the recent wedding of Lord Davenports daughter, Annabelle, to a prince she met at a ball in Monaco, then to the balls being held around Cheshire, and then..
`Lily is quite an accomplished dancer.'
`I noticed last month at the Swanson gala.'
`Correct me if I'm wrong, Lord Chamberly, but is it true that you yourself will be holding a ball in August?'
`July, to be precise, at my manor in Brighton. In fact, I was rather hoping that your family might join me there for a few weeks. Vernon and Miss Petunia are going to be there, along with little Dudley. Would her Ladyship, Lord Evans, and Miss Lily like to come?' he asked, directing the question more at Lily than anyone else.
"Why, what a marvelous idea! Charles?' her mother cried, gesturing to her husband to listen. `Wouldn't it be marvelous if we were to take a little holiday up to Lord Chamberlys house next month?'
`Indeed it would. I hope we would not be imposing on you?'
`Not at all, I enjoy the company, and I would love to become more familiar with your charming daughter.'
Lily desperately tried to suppress the reddening of her face, not with embarrassment, but with rage. Edward Chamberly was beginning to talk as if their marriage was an accepted fact, and her mother was quite obviously raising her eyebrows and stealing smug glances at her husband. It was ridiculous, Lily hadn't even accepted this man yet, and everyone sitting around the table was quite sure that this man was going to be her husband!
She had a sudden urge to stand up, pull her hair out of its bun, and announce that she would rather die than be this mans property.
But she would accept him, because that was the plan. She was to marry him, bear his children, and accept her position in life as a lady should.
No one is going to save you Lily.
***
Hundreds of miles away, in a majestic castle that stood proudly among mountains, casting a shadow over a glittering lake and a mysterious forest, brimming with a magical, unfathomable excitement, an eighteen year old boy sat on a window ledge in the northernmost tower, staring at the sky.
Lily Evans knew nothing of this boy, but she soon would.
He was going to save her.
And his name was James Potter.
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