DISCLAIMER: Still JKR's blessed little characters.
A/N: Happy birthday, Seanie! May you have many, many more and may we all be a part of them!
As an aside - I have no idea where this came from. At this point, I just hope it makes a little sense because it just sort of tumbled out!
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A Talk Between Friends
For a month now, Ron has watched. For once he had decided that being the silent observer would be far more beneficial then the `right foul git' he normally prided himself on being.
He was, in fact, watching now - even as he questioned…
"Hermione?"
Hermione's expression was blank as she stared across the vast expanse of the Burrow's backyard, seemingly oblivious to everything around her.
"Hermione? You in there?"
Hermione blinked and for the first time, noticed the shadow that stretched in front of her. She looked up slowly to find Ron staring down at her. "Oh, hey Ron," she greeted vaguely as she cast her gaze back out across the yard.
"Oh, hey Hermione," said Ron in the same vague way. "Mind if I sit?"
Without looking up, Hermione scooted over. "If you like."
Ron flumped down beside her on the bench and stretched his long legs out in front of him. "What're you thinking about? You seem a little lost."
Hermione shook her head. "Nothing."
"You scared?"
With that, she turned to look at him. "Always. Aren't you?"
Ron nodded and shrugged. "Pretty much."
Hermione looked away with another sigh. "I thought you were playing chess with Ginny. What brings you out here?" she asked, though it was obvious her thoughts weren't on conversation.
"There're only so many times in one day a bloke can face the humiliation of losing to Ginny. A man's gotta have a bit of dignity, doesn't he?"
Hermione gave a weak chuckle and rolled her eyes. "She almost got you, eh?"
Ron released an audible breath and nodded as he leaned forward and turned his head just enough to watch her eyes. "Yeah…Harry's in there playing with her now. He's used to getting pummeled in chess."
Hermione's eyes darkened for a split second before she nodded her head and hummed an agreeable, "Mmm…"
Ron frowned slightly then stretched out, crossing his arms behind his head and leaning back into them. "Can I ask you something?"
Hermione glanced at him briefly and shrugged. "If you must," she said with a smile.
Ron's attempt at a smile looked more like a grimace as he turned serious. "What do you see when you look at me?"
Hermione blinked then furrowed her brow. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me, Hermione-"
"Yeah, I heard you. But I don't understand the question. What're you on about?"
Ron sighed and sat forward, turning his upper body until he was almost fully facing her. "Look at me."
Hermione turned to look at him fully and raised her brow questioningly.
"Now tell me what you see."
She stared at him for a full minute but said nothing as she concentrated. "I don't know," she said at last. "What do you want me to see?"
Ron dropped his head and turned around to sit up straight. "Doesn't matter what I want, Hermione," he said quietly. "What matters is what you want…what you see."
Hermione contemplated him a moment longer. "To whom?"
This time the confusion belonged to Ron and he expressed by way of a frown. "To whom, what?"
"To whom does it matter what I want…what difference will it make?"
Ron looked out across the backyard with a sigh. "It matters to me," he said instantly. "It matters to Harry. It could be the difference between life and death someday, Hermione." He turned his head to watch her surreptitiously from the corner of his eye as he added a soft, "Or love and heartbreak."
Hermione's brow furrowed deeper and she turned away from Ron to once again stare out across the yard. They sat in awkward silence for a few minutes, each lost in their own thoughts until at last she spoke.
"I don't know what to say, Ron," said Hermione with a shake of her head.
"Then don't say anything because if you have to think too long and hard then whatever comes out of your mouth'll be from your head and not your heart," said Ron with a sigh. He made to stand and he looked caustically back down at her. "Just forget it."
Hermione watched him stand and take a few steps away from her before she finally gained some modicum of understanding. "Ron," she called out, sounding a bit apprehensive and unsure of whether or not she really wanted him to acknowledge her.
Ron closed his eyes and briefly contemplated ignoring her before stopping and turning around. Their eyes met but neither made a move to speak or to bridge the distance between them.
"Ron-"
"Hermione-"
Hermione jumped up from the bench and walked quickly to Ron's side. She grabbed his hand and began to drag him across the yard and toward the trees surrounding it.
"Hermione, I said to forget it," said Ron with a half-hearted attempt to pull away. "We don't have to talk about this. Let's just pretend it never happened, alright?"
Hermione shook her head. "We can't do that. It's out there now and we need to clear the air between us before whatever this is festers and we both explode. As we're both wont to do," she added more as an afterthought.
"Hermione-" groaned Ron.
She pulled him to a log and they sat down side by side. "Ron, listen. I don't know what you think you know…or what you think you might want to hear. Heck, I don't even know if what I'm thinking you might be thinking is really what you're thinking, but-"
"Huh?" Ron looked confused.
"But I do know this…" said Hermione earnestly. "When I look at you I see a man who can make me laugh, one who can raise my hackles more than anyone ever could, and one who I hope will be by my side when this war is over." She grasped his hand and stared down at it as she squeezed it tight. "What I see is my brother. I love you, Ron…" she looked up into his eyes, "but I'm not in love with you."
Ron closed his eyes and drew in a breath. "Ah," he breathed, "Heartbreak."
Hermione continued to look at him with tears now brimming in her eyes. "Is that what you think? You think I'm breaking your heart?"
Ron looked down at her with a bittersweet smile. "That's what I want to think, Hermione," he said with a shake of his head, "but no, I don't think you're breaking my heart. I think-"
He paused and Hermione looked up at him encouragingly. "Go on, Ron, tell me."
Ron slid down to the ground and brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. "What I think, Hermione," he paused again as he thought how best to say what he was feeling. He closed his eyes and rested his chin on his knees then quietly replied, "I think you're setting it free."
Hermione slid down the log to sit beside him and rested her head against his arm. "You know the truth, don't you?" she asked without preamble.
Ron nodded. "I think so. I've been watching."
"Then you know it's only one-sided so I totally understand how you feel right now."
Ron laid his cheek against his knee and looked at her sitting beside him. "You seemed so happy when Harry and Ginny got together a few months ago."
Hermione looked at him thoughtfully and nodded. "I was," she said quietly, "…for a while. After feeling this way for three years I've sort of learned to hide what's going on in my head - and my heart - most of the time."
"I don't think I could've done it so easily," admitted Ron. "I know I was with Lavender, but if you'd really gotten together with someone else" - he shook his head - "I'm not sure I could've hidden the jealousy or the pain quite so well."
Hermione folded her knees and rested her chin on them as she stared out in front of her. "Harry was on a suicide mission last year, Ron - between Draco and Snape and that damned book - no," she shook her head assuredly, "he needed a distraction and," she shrugged, "he found it with Ginny. I was happy for him. I never lied about that."
"So what happens if they get back together?"
Hermione shrugged again. "Then you and I can be founding members of the broken-hearts club," she tried to joke, though her heart ached at the thought of a life without Harry.
Ron studied her quietly for a full minute before finally breaking their silence. "I don't think you have to worry about that."
"There's someone out there for everyone, is that it?"
"Not necessarily," Ron shrugged. His narrow-eyed gaze settled on her as he thought back to his month of watching his two best friends. "I think there's someone for you, though. You just have to give it a bit more time, that's all."
"And if I really want Harry to notice me, I'll just have to take up sport, grow long, shimmering locks and learn to bat my eyelashes just the way he likes, is that it?" Hermione asked with a dramatic batting of her lashes.
Ron laughed. "That's my sister you're talking about, you know?"
"Yeah," Hermione nodded. "I know. It's Cho, too, though. Ginny's not the only one." She looked at Ron and smiled, "And besides, you know I love Ginny. I don't have any ill will toward her…" she shrugged again, "it's just the kind of girl Harry likes. Given that," she raised her brow in concession, "I refuse to compromise who I am. If he, or anyone else for that matter, can't accept me for who I am then that's all there is for it, right?" Without waiting for a response she turned away from him and sighed as she laid her head back down on her knees.
Ron put a hand on her arm and she turned her head over to face him. "Do you remember what I said when you asked me if I knew?"
Hermione shook her head. "Something about watching," she answered vaguely. "I don't remember exactly."
"Something about watching," Ron repeated. "Yeah, I've been doing a lot of watching the past month, Hermione and I can't even begin to tell you everything that I've seen."
Hermione sat up with panic in her eyes. "You mean I've been that obvious?" she nearly shouted.
"No," Ron laughed. "I've been watching, er, closely," he closed his eyes to ready himself for the onslaught he knew would follow his next words. "Too closely perhaps…on occasion."
Hermione banged her forehead against her knees. "Stupid, stupid, stupid," she said in a continual self-chastisement. "How could I be so stupid?"
Ron placed his hand on her shoulder, forcing her to stop. "I won't tell you that he loves you, or even that I think he might, but I will tell you this…he spends an awful lot of time watching you. He seems to be constantly aware of where you are, what you're doing, how you're feeling…he always knows, Hermione. And he knows it without ever having to ask. Give it all some time, okay? Don't give up hope quite yet."
Hermione stared at him in silent wonder for a minute before resting her head against his shoulder and grabbing hold of his hand. "Why are you doing this?" she asked softly. "You wouldn't try to get my hopes up just to watch them shatter, would you?"
She felt his body tense where hers touched his and immediately she felt regret for what she'd said. "I'm sorry. It's just…" she shook her head to try and put order to her jumbled thoughts.
"You're finding it hard to believe that I'm okay with it?" Ron supplied.
Hermione's look of wonder found its way to him once again. "How have you gotten so wise?" She sat up on her knees and put her face a few inches from his as she looked into his eyes. "Is that really you in there?" she questioned.
"Why you little…"
In an instant Ron had Hermione lying on her back in the throes of laughter as he tortured her with his fingers.
"Ron, stop!" Hermione squealed. "That tickles!"
"It's supposed to," Ron laughed. "That's why they call it tickling. Now say you're sorry."
"I'm sorry!" Hermione shouted breathily through her tears. "I'm sorry!"
Ron stopped and eyed her for a moment before extending his hand to help her up. "Yes, Hermione, it's me in here. And I'm not acting as mature as you might think," he reluctantly admitted. "The truth of the matter is I'd like to go and sock the bloody git!" He stood and pulled Hermione to her feet. "But I won't," he said, pulling her into his arms for a hug. "I won't say that it'll be easy when or if the two of you get together…but I suppose it's something I'd have to live with innit? It's not like I could make you fall in love with me … even if I wanted to."
"You mean you don't?"
Ron shook his head. "No. I'd never want to make anyone fall in love with me. Where's the fun in that? I'm sure it'll happen when it's meant to, right?"
Hermione nodded. "So I keep telling myself."
"Come on, let's get back to the house. Harry's probably going spare wondering where the hell you are."
Hermione put her arm around Ron's waist and snuggled against him as they walked back to the house together.
No sooner had they gotten to the clearing when a clearly irate Harry came running toward them. Hermione's heart fluttered with the darkening of Harry's eyes when they drifted from the arm Ron had around her shoulders to the one she had wrapped around his waist.
"And just where the have you two been?" Harry snapped.
Hermione's eyes never left Harry as she squeezed Ron and grinned. "Talking, Harry," she said calmly, despite the hope she felt rising within her.
Ron and Hermione shared a knowing look and he rolled his eyes down at Harry. "Just talking, mate," he said blithely. "She's all yours."
Without another word Ron pulled his arm from around Hermione's shoulders and walked away without a backward glance, leaving a smiling Hermione and a confused Harry standing in his wake.
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