Raspberry Everlasting Chewing Gum
When I force my eyelids apart this morning, my irises are dazzled by the bright sunlight, and I already know that today will be a complete disaster.
Have you ever had the feeling right after you wake up that something is going to happen? It gnaws at your stomach. This feeling intensifies when I look into the mirror. Do you ever have bad hair days when you can do everything to your hair, but it just refuses to look the way you want it to? For me, every day is a bad hair day, so I wear a ponytail. Nobody has ever seen me without one except the girls in my dormitory.
Thus, as on each of these days, I drag my friends and myself down to the Great Hall. I don't let it show that I feel like shit or that I hear the many whispers.
"Oh, Lily looks so good," and "Oh, her hair! I would kill for it."
Does someone consider it a compliment that they would kill for my hair? Not this red. No, I'd prefer a warm brown or black, but I don't complain.
Well, on with my day. I walk beside my friends into the Great Hall. We throw a poisonous glance to the Slytherin table like we do each morning, artfully flip our hair over our shoulders, and float, heads held high, to the Gryffindor table.
Now that we have our morning ritual behind us, we sit down and begin our decent breakfast.
However, "decent" doesn't include all Gryffindors. Have you ever tried to watch the Marauders while eating? It's basically like watching an animal feeding.
Hey, what is Potter doing? He's looking at me! He isn't about to... He waves at me! Wait a second. HE'S WAVING AT ME?
"Hey, Evans!"
Now he greets me too! Have I already mentioned why each day at Hogwarts for me is automatically a bad day apart from my uncontrollable hair, etc.? Potter. James Horatio Potter. Did I already say that I must constantly laugh at his middle name?
This tall, muscular, dark haired, slightly tanned, funny, and charming wizard is the nail in my coffin cover.
Ha, you probably thought I swoon, didn't you?
I see things realistically, and he just looks that way.
But what is my hand doing at the moment? My hand just won't... No, hand! Please don't. Please, don't wave at him! I will do anything for you. I will manicure my nails, but please, please don't wave at him!
My hand moves up higher, still higher, and smoothly brushed my displaced hair down. Oh, that was lucky. I thought my hand would wave back. That would have been a terrible disaster. I could have been seen! But I don't want to purge into hysteria now.
Oh, James looks depressed. I can see it out of the corner of my eye. But I don't show compassion, which would make his already large head swell even more.
Alice says something at that moment.
"... And Frank said... "
Oh, she's only talking about Frank. It's no world-moving thing, but I will continue to tell about today. You don't want to hear about Alice and Frank.
After breakfast, we leave the Great Hall, without forgetting the loathing look toward the Slytherins, and - now you thought the hair flip thing would come again - suddenly the Slytherin table breaks down unexplainably.
Emmeline has fiddled with this trick for a long time. It isn't easy to pull a prank in the Great Hall while under the noses of all of the teachers.
Oh, I guess a Sixth Year broke his toe. Actually, I should have put a foot down when I got wind of Emmeline's prank. See, I'm Head Girl... but I don't like to be pedantic.
Out of the Great Hall and out of Potter's sight, we go down to the greenhouses while congratulating Emmeline and expressing our deep impression with her work.
"I wonder who that was?" I ask simply.
"Well, you should know best," says a voice.
Sirius Black, the other nail in my coffin! How do these four guys always manage to follow us without us noticing? Are we really too busy with ourselves? I will probably never find out.
"I have no idea what you mean, Black." Emmeline bats her eyelashes.
"That was rather obvious," flirts Black.
I hate it. If he lets his charm play, he can wind even McGonagall around his wand.
"Only for one who is rather experienced with stuff like that?" I say in a snappy way.
"Ouch, that hit me hard," answers Sirius and touches the spot over his heart, stumbles, and falls against Remus.
"Watch where you're stumbling, Padfoot," says my sunshine, Remus, but I can hardly understand him now because he is chewing on something. It is large, pink and smells suspiciously of raspberry.
We end our mad conversation and go into the greenhouse 12.
Now you're probably thinking, "Hey, what's she telling us? Everything sounds like a completely normal day." But in a minute I will get to the moment of my fears.
The Herbology period ends with the fact that we must work together to save ourselves from Devil Snare and Octodigitales. Troubled by adrenalin rushes and heat waves after this fight, we get rid of our cloaks and flee from the greenhouse. We float past the Marauders, and suddenly I have that feeling again. I was hit with something right on my backside!
Surprised, I turn and try to examine my backside, and there it is! On my skirt, on the place where my left buttock would be and is, sticks... everlasting raspberry chewing gum!
My eyes move slowly and threateningly from my butt to the Marauders. Shock is written upon Remus's face. Pettigrew blinks expectantly. Black has a fat grin on his face, and Potter wrinkles his forehead. I feel the need to mention that he doesn't look particularly sexy with this expression, but he comes over to me while my so-called friends just stand there and grin. Thanks a lot! I need help! I have a wad of chewing gum the size of a troll booger stick on my left buttock!
Black follows Potter. Are they intending to help me? With large steps, they come to us, but my knight in shining armor suddenly stops. His personal jester bumps into him, my knight stumbles forward, somehow turns to his jester and knocks me over. I fall straight forward because the armor of my knight weighs a ton, and my knight lands on me back to back.
Well, now please guess which part of our bodies was also affected in this case? Correct, our backsides touched in magical way!
"Oh, Merlin! I'm sorry Lily!" James squeaks, frightened, and tries to rise.
But unfortunately, it doesn't work. He strives like a small ant with an extra large cookie. Where is the damn problem, I ask myself? I am pressed more deeply into the dirt. Hello! I need air!
"Can someone please get J. Horatio P. off of me?" I call desperately.
"I told you not to call me by my middle name!" James hissed. "And I'm trying." And he falls back again.
He did that on purpose. I know it!
"Padfoot! Will you help me?"
A tug followed.
"Moony, help me..."
A second tug.
"Wormtail, help us..."
What does Potter weigh? Is he a whale?
A third tug, and I stand on my feet.
Alice and Emmeline are having a laughing fit. It's nice that my friends can amuse themselves at my expense. The Christmas presents are canceled! Canceled, I tell you.
With all my remaining pride, I snatch my bag and cloak. I need to take a bath.
Without a word I try to flee, but I can't. Does sudden paralysis afflict me? What am I, grown to the ground?
Yes, one could say so. I turn somewhat and push with my shoulder on Potter's.
"Why can't you let me go?" I ask him.
"I would be glad to, but I can't."
"Why not?" I want to know.
"Because you're stuck to me."
Insolence! Who does he think he is? I am not stuck to him! But when I continue to try to turn and squeeze off the supply of blood to my legs with my skirt, I can see it!
The everlasting raspberry chewing gum has made me a prisoner! I am stuck to James Horatio Potter's backside!
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