Disclaimer: I do not own any Harry Potter characters or story.
Warning: none
A/N: Writing this for a competition for the Sacred Bookshelf. Here are the rules:
Theme: Mischief in the Ministry
Genre: Humor
Pairing:
-Choice1: No pairing
-Choice2: RW/Any Character(writers choice)
Rating: T
Word Limit: 800-1500words.
Cupid's Little Helper
It was much like any other day at the ministry. I was bored and wanted to entertain myself. And so with that mission in mind, I surveyed the room and smirked evilly as a cunning plan came to me. Now all I had to do was find my victims.
A glint of red caught my eye and I grinned to myself as I began writing the letter…
OOOOOOOOOOO
To the sexiest man in the ministry, (A.K.A Ronald Weasley),
Your eyes are like the cerulean skies,
A place where my burning love soars high.
Your hair is like a sea of flames,
My hands are free to swim untamed.
Your heart is all I desire,
The man of passion and fire.
Meet me at the Fountain of Magical Brethren at 5:30pm,
Love your secret admirer
Ron folded the letter and stared around, confusion evident on his face. "Who could have written this?" he muttered, while trying to stare at the female worker's expressions.
His blue eyes rested on a particularly large witch, who had short straggly brown hair, which was tied in pigtails and a fat, round face that looked more like a man than a woman. Her name was Jenna Fitness, and she had a tendency to mutter, "Sweet baby chops, with mint gravy sauce" and smack her lips whenever she walked past Ron.
Jenna winked and blew Ron a kiss.
`Oh please don't let it be her!' Ron thought, horrified, `Anyone but her.'
OOOOOOOO
Well as you can imagine, I was quite amused to watch Ronald Weasley try figure out who the letter writer was. Of course the fun didn't stop there. I needed to find my next victim…
OOOOOOOOOO
To the Dreamiest Girl in the Ministry of Magic, (A.K.A, Luna Lovegood),
I wish I were the wand, you keep behind your ear,
That way I could whisper to you, all that you want to hear.
I wish mistletoe didn't have nargles, cause then I could kiss you,
And you couldn't say no, and make it an issue.
I wish I could find a Crumpled-Horned Snorckack,
That way you would never want to go back,
To whatever it was you were dreaming about,
When you gaze so blankly and don't blink when I shout,
That I love every crazy thing about you,
And pray you can love me and my craziness too.
Meet me at the Fountain of Magical Brethren at 5:30pm,
Love your secret admirer
Luna glanced at the letter and smiled happily. "How sweet." She said in her dreamy voice, and looked around to see if she could spot who it was. To her dismay there did not appear to be anyone around her workplace.
`I guess I'll just have to wait and see who wrote it,' she thought reluctantly.
OOOOOOOO
By this time I was almost crying with mirth. The fools had no idea it was me all along. Now all I had to do was wait until 5:30pm, when they would go meet each other, and my plan would be complete. I couldn't wait to see their faces when they saw who each other were.
OOOOOOOOO
Ron sat tapping his foot impatiently as he stared at the clock. His eyes fixed on the minute hand that was slowly edging towards 5:30pm.
"Oh I can't handle waiting any longer!" he declared to no one in particular and set of for the Fountain of Magical Brethren.
He entered the vast entrance hall and looked at the fountain. The witch and Wizard were standing proudly as the house elf, centaur and goblin, all looked up with adoring expressions. Ron always thought the fountain was ridiculous, as the only creature likely to be bowing to witch or wizard was the house elf.
He sat down on the golden step and watched the people slowly clearing out of the entrance hall. It was 5:30pm, after all, and people were heading home.
Just when he thought the writer of the love letter was never going to turn up, he heard the soft tapping of shoes, walking in the now almost empty hall.
He looked up and saw Luna Lovegood, with the same dreamy expression. Her waist-length, dirty blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail, (which he thought was rather flattering). Her rather protuberant, crystal blue eyes were focused on him in a slightly surprised but happy expression and her rather thin lips were curved into a small smile.
"Hello Ronald." Luna said in a faraway voice.
Ron goggled at Luna for a minute before collecting his wits, "Hi Luna." He said slowly.
She smiled at sat down next to him. "So, do you like me?" She asked bluntly.
`Well that was straight to the point.' Ron thought, `But then she always has been like that. She's pretty in a unique way and I love the way she just comes out with these random things. I know life will never be dull with her,' Ron thought fondly.
"Of course I do." Ron said firmly.
Luna turned her sparkling blue eyes on him and grinned, "Oh Ronald, I'm so glad."
And with that she grabbed him and kissed him firmly on the lips.
Ron was blown away at first. He couldn't believe Luna Lovegood was snogging him, but once he got his wits about him, he soon happily responded in kissing her back.
OOOOOOO
And that was how my by boring day at the ministry was made interesting. It's true I didn't expect them to actually like each other, but hey, sometimes people just need a little helping hand from cupid, and a very bored ministry worker.
END
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