Harry Potter and the Sword of Gryffindor
Chapter Thirty: Threats, Boobies, and Fake Names
Disclaimer: Not mine, I own nothing. I'm not making any money.
WARNING: Harsh Language, adult themes, sexual situations (i.e. smut), bad spelling and grammar.
Author's Notes: This story is a broad farce with over the top humor (a good deal of it is crude and sexual) and OOC actions (that's Out Of Character if you don't know). Also, this is my first smut-ish fic. If you don't like sex and sex-based humor, do NOT read this!
Chapter Thirty: Draco makes his move!!!
"You had sex in front of Courtney?" Luna asked for the third time in as many minutes.
"Yes. I don't see what is so difficult to understand," Hermione answered.
The two witches were sitting on the couch, while Ron and Harry played a game of chess. The four were enjoying the solitude afforded to them in the Head Students' chamber. The topic of conversation had dealt with the fact that Harry and Hermione proudly admitted that they performed a public sex act. More shockingly, the couple had sex, knowing that they had an audience, albeit of one.
"You two have grown so kinky that you're now having a live show, that's what's so hard to understand," explained Ron after he moved a pawn.
"No, what's so hard to believe about the situation is that we weren't invited," Luna stated. "I had assumed that when you finally did have someone watch, it'd be us; your best friends."
"Um, honey, count me out of that," Ron requested, while Harry fretted over his next move on the board. "Harry and Hermione are like siblings to me; watching them shag would be just creepy."
"But you've already seen us. Remember, through that Pensieve we made you," Harry pointed out. He hesitantly moved his knight, knowing that he'd more likely than not lose the piece with Ron's next move.
"Yeah, but that was different, wasn't it," Ron said. "For one thing, it wasn't live, you know? Seeing it in real life, where I would smell you guys, it would be too weird for me. And second, you were teaching me something. So I was able to force myself to overcome my queasiness of watching you go down on Hermione; I was focusing on the knowledge that I could learn what you two were showing me."
"Ronald, dear, what are you talking about 'queasiness'?" Luna asked with a pleasant smile. "You masturbated as we watched the Pensieve."
"Just that once," he tried to defend himself.
"Actually the first ten times we watched," corrected Luna.
"Fine, alright, I lied," Ron confessed in a huff. "Wanking to a Pensieve memory is a lot different from the real thing. If I watched the live act, I'd end up wanting to wank. And that thought scares me because I'd be masturbating to my best mates, one of whom is a bloke, while they could see me. Wanking my willy in the same room as Harry getting laid is a little too close to being gay for me, okay?"
"That is quite all right, Ronald, you can stay while I'll go and watch when Harry and Hermione invite us," Luna said dreamily.
"Um, you do realize that it was a kind of spur of the moment thing, right?" Harry said as he watched Ron's white bishop sodomize one of his remaining few black pawns. The bishop had taken off his mitre and was waving it above his head like a cowboy at a rodeo as the piece buggered the helpless pawn. "Where the hell did you get this chess set?"
"Of course I understand," Luna said happily. "I'm just saying that if that spur of the moment thing ever strikes you again that you ask me to watch."
"You already have watched us. When I had you take polyjuice to look like me on the train when term began, you watched me perform oral sex on Harry," Hermione pointed out. She turned to Ron and reprimanded, "And you had no problem shagging Luna when she looked like me. 'Think of me as a sibling,' my backside."
Ron pretended to have not heard Hermione as he concentrated on his bishop spanking Harry's violated pawn.
"That was just oral sex, Hermione. I want the whole deal," Luna said with a hint of excitement. "I don't want to pressure you two or anything, but I do want to put it in your heads that I'm next in line for the entertainment."
"Um, sure," Harry finally said. "You'll be the first one we contact."
"And, as an added incentive, I'll allow both of you to watch Ronald and I make love as well," Luna added.
"We will?" Ron asked nervously.
"Yes," the blonde said evenly.
"What, now?" Ron asked.
"No, Ronald, you're playing your game," Luna said with a shake of her head as if she was disappointed that her husband couldn't understand such a basic concept. "It wouldn't do to have sex in the middle of a match. Perhaps we can do it once the game is over."
"That's not necessary," Harry said.
"Are you certain? I can use the chess pieces as helpers," Luna offered.
"How would you use the pieces?" asked Harry... and he instantly regretted it.
"It's a wonderful game I invented," she said with a bright smile. "It's called 'The Spelunking King.' Ronald and I were just playing it with the black king before you two started playing your match."
Harry had been eyeing his king (which happened to be the black piece that Luna had referred to) and was about to move it, but now had second thoughts about even touching it. He wondered whose cave the king had gone spelunking in (much less what cave) and whether or not it was cleaned afterwards.
"It's alright, Luna, we'll just take a rain check," Hermione said.
"What does that mean?" the blonde asked.
"It means that we'll take you up on your offer at some later date," explained Hermione. It was clear to Harry that Hermione had no intention of fulfilling that obligation.
It didn't take long for Ron to trounce Harry. But how the red head had won was what surprised Harry. Apparently, Ron's pieces had thrown the rules away and had all participated in a gang-bang on Harry's queen.
"Just where the hell did you get this chess set?"
"Bukkake!" Ron's two knight pieces shouted as their battle cry.
~*~
The next morning, Harry sent a post to Alicia telling her in great detail that the toy she was interested in had worked wonders (a brief exert of the note described the "wonderful sounds Hermione made every time I tugged a ball out of her bum told me she really, REALLY liked it"). After Harry sent Hedwig off to deliver the post, he joined his friends in the Great Hall. Hermione had already finished her meal and was busy reading the Daily Prophet. The front page of the paper was dedicated to a new pamphlet that the Ministry had begun to circulate. This pamphlet would only end up accentuating the wizarding population's current irrational fear.
"Ministry Advises the Public to Stay Indoors!" the paper read.
"After multiple reports of random attacks committed by roving gangs of giants, werewolves, and Death Eaters, the Ministry released a pamphlet instructing witches and wizards not to go anywhere after sundown. The only time the Ministry suggests someone should leave the safety of their homes is in the case of an emergency.
This official document also urges people to barricade their homes with various wards. Many of the wards that are suggested are considered high level wards, such as Ill-Will Repeller and Bind My Foes. As these wards are highly difficult to erect, far above the ability of the average wizard and witch, most of these wards will need a Certified Wards Master to make them.
Some of the defensive spells the Ministry highlighted include the Stun Hex and the Impediment Curse. The Ministry suggests that if someone were to be attacked that they should use these two spells in order to buy enough time to escape.
'How the (expletive deleted) am I supposed to use a (expletive deleted) Stun Hex on a giant? A Stunner just bounces off a (expletive deleted) giant," Wilhelmina Murray, aged one-hundred and two, commented demurely after she read the pamphlet. "And even if I'm attacked by (expletive deleted) Death Eaters with no (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) giants, a Stunning Spell won't do (expletive deleted). The moment I'd knock one of those (expletive deleted) down, one of the other (expletive deleted) would Rennervate them and I'd b (expletive deleted) out of luck."
Another wizard, Hans Von der Kidd, stated that he'd most likely leave the country. "I can't make wards like these; they're too difficult," Mr. Von der Kidd said. "And I know that I don't stand a chance dueling with a Death Eater, much less a giant or werewolf. It'd be for the best if I just leave this place. I'm about to decide to let You Know Who have England."
"This is horrible," Hermione groaned so that only Harry could hear and tossed the paper on the table. "I thought that performing the Morgy Ritual would help. Even though we took out over a hundred Death Eaters, it doesn't matter. The war has gotten so bad that everyone's now afraid of their own shadow."
With a sad look, Hermione surveyed the Great Hall. The Hall was packed full of happy students, all of them laughing and smiling.
"Why isn't everyone else like we are here," she said loud enough that their friends heard.. "None of us are pulling our hair out. None of us are frightened that we might get attacked and killed."
"Maybe it's because we're in Hogwarts," offered Ginny, as she ate her breakfast. "It's got a bunch of really strong wards around it. And we've also got Aurors patrolling the castle and grounds. So it's pretty much safe from attack."
"But we were attacked last year," Neville pointed out, "even with the wards and Order of the Phoenix members patrolling the grounds."
"Then why is everyone here acting so carefree?" Luna asked.
Harry bit his tongue. He had a theory, the one that the pervert, Gryffindor, had pointed out. The young wizard wasn't about to blurt this theory out. So over the course of the day, Harry pondered how he could approach Hermione about this once-outlandish idea.
"I think I know why everyone here isn't affected by the war," Harry began when he and Hermione were alone in their chambers later that night. "It's because of us."
"How do you mean?" asked Hermione.
"Well, I think the students, and some of the teachers, aren't overly worried about Voldemort because we, well we've given them something to do other than fret," he explained vaguely.
"And just how did you and I do this?"
"Well, to be honest, it was more like Dobby did it."
Hermione looked at Harry in deep thought for a moment. Then she narrowed her eyes and challenged, "Are you saying that because everyone here saw us have sex that they don't worry about the war?"
"Basically, yeah," he agreed. "Listen, I know it sounds far fetched, but I'm in the middle of this war, and it's no secret Voldemort wants me dead. You're in the limelight too, not only because you associate with me but because you're a Muggle-born witch, making you a target twice over. So by all rights, out of everyone in this castle, you and I should be the ones most affected by the war. But we don't let it get to us, not to the extent of the people outside the castle. We're living our lives the way we want to and not in fear. And by seeing all those Pensieves, our peers were encouraged to do the same. I know it's not a conventional way of boosting morale, but it worked."
"Harry, I don't consider an active sex-life the cornerstone of living our lives without fear," argued Hermione.
"But it is. Most people out there are terrified. So much so that they aren't even sleeping properly; they sleep with one eye open. And the last thing on their minds is sex. You know for a fact that sex is a great stress reliever."
"And how do you know people aren't having sex?"
"I talked with Alicia. She's working at Franklin's of Cardiff, and she told me that no one's been shopping there in weeks," he told her.
"Franklin's of Cardiff? Is that where you got those toys?" she asked and he nodded in the affirmative. "I'll have to go there one day."
"The back section's where they keep the toys," Harry pointed out.
"Let's say that I agree with your assumptions that people aren't having sex and that lack of activity is a part of the problem," Hermione speculated. "Are you suggesting that we have Dobby start passing out the Pensieves again, only this time to everyone in England?"
"Not exactly," he replied. "You see, Ginny was right to a point. This castle has wards. They do have a way of making the people inside feel secure, even though a small group of Death Eaters attacked last year by bypassing those wards. However, most homes don't even have the simplest wards."
"What does that have to do with us having sex?"
"Well, we could create new rituals, ones that could erect wards around people's homes," Harry said.
"Yes, I can see that. I've actually had a few ideas in that area," Hermione said while chewing her lip. "But how do you suppose we teach these potential rituals to everyone? I mean, having Dobby pass out Pensieves to everyone in the country is a little impractical."
Harry spoke very slowly and clearly so that he could drive this point home... that and he reckoned that it would turn her on so he didn't want her to misunderstand him.
"You... and I... will... write... a... book."
"A bo-b-book? Me, an author?" she asked hesitantly. Suddenly Hermione's irises shot open, leaving only a hair-thin ring of color, her lips puffed up a touch, and her complexion flushed. Harry could see her nipples harden through her blouse, and he felt it was safe to assume that she was getting rather wet. Harry's assumption about the dampness of his girlfriend was confirmed when she ordered throatily: "Shag me silly, Harry."
As Harry was in the process of carrying out her request of shagging her silly and while he was tugging on her hair, Hermione brought up a good point.
"Wait, why don't - -uh - -we just - -smack my bum - -copies of the tantric book we - -that's it - -already have?"
"Uh - -we - -oh - -can use some of the - -er - -spells from that book," Harry said and paused to give Hermione a good hard swat. "But - -oh- - it doesn't - -uh - -have a lot of ward rituals."
"So you're saying - -ooh, yessss rub my clit - -we need to make an - -mama - -updated version of The Magic of Making - -FUCK ME! - -Love?"
"I'm gonna cum - -Yeah, a new version," Harry answered. "One that will - -almost there - -help people deal with Voldemort."
"Hold on, I'm close - -I think we should - -just a bit more, baby - -follow the author of the 'special book' and - -oooh so- -o- -o- -o close - -use pen-names - -NOW! DO IT NOW!"
~*~
The next day during Potions, Hermione and Harry were quietly discussing what spells and rituals they should put in their forthcoming book from the ones that they had already invented.
"We should definitely include the Wit-Enhancing ritual," offered Hermione as she put a dash of powdered frog toes into the bubbling concoction they were brewing. "Of course, that would mean we'd have to put in a section on stretching techniques so that the reader would be limber enough to perform that ritual."
"One spell that we shouldn't put in is the 'Loninquitas Amorus,' the long distance love ritual that I created," Harry said. "I could see some bad people doing bad things with that one."
"You mean like if Snape had that ritual in school, he would've used it on your Mum?" speculated Hermione.
"Why'd you go and say that?" demanded Harry as he felt his stomach lurch. "You could've left it at 'bad people doing bad things.' But no, you had to bring up that greasy bastard's obsession with wanking over the thought of my mother."
"I'm sorry, Harry," apologized the brunette. "I'll make it up to you after supper tonight."
"Well, it better be good," he pouted. "You mentioned my mother and Snape in the same sentence. And you made it about sex, making it even worse."
"All right, I let you bugger me and you can cum on my tits," she said casually, stirring the contents of their cauldron. "Would that be good enough?"
"Throw in a hummer before hand and we're even."
"Well, that goes without saying, doesn't it," she said. "Of course, I'll expect the same in return. Perhaps we can pleasure each other at the same time."
Hermione checked the board once more, reviewing the instructions. "Hand me that mandrake root," she asked Harry.
The wizard reached out and took hold of the root. The moment his fingers wrapped around the mandrake, it began to heat up and shake. Knowing that mandrake roots should not do that, Harry dropped the item. It fell back on the table and continued to shake.
"Why's it doing that?" Harry asked Hermione.
"It didn't do that when I fetched it from the supply cupboard," she answered. "Someone must have tampered with so it would activate with your touch."
A second later, the root stood up on one end and began to reshape it self. It stretched and shrunk, changed from a dirty beige color to a warm pink. Veins started to pop up all along the surface. After a moment, it flopped down and stilled. Harry and Hermione were looking down at a very detailed pink dildo, foreskin, veins, wrinkles, and all.
"Who the hell would want to change a mandrake root into a penis?" asked Hermione. "Oh My God, it's throbbing."
"You-hoo!" Draco Malfoy called out effeminately from across the lab. He gave Harry a limp wristed wave and shouted, "If you like that, you can get the real thing later!"
Harry looked at Draco then he looked at the phallic object for a moment before it hit him - - no, not the dildo, the truth.
"I think I'm going to be sick," he groaned out.
"What's wrong?" asked Hermione.
"Draco transfigured the root into a copy of his willy," Harry explained as he turned a nasty shade of green.
With a disgusted expression marring her face, Hermione pulled out her wand, unwilling to touch Draco's organ, even by proxy, and in a series of light jabbing motions, pushed the phallic object off of the table. It landed on the floor and made a fleshy slapping sound.
That sound was enough to send our hero over the edge. With a gut-wrenching gurgling sound, Harry promptly vomited into his and Hermione's cauldron.
While Hermione helped clean up the mess on the table and on Harry, Draco said in a loud voice; "Oh, look, he's so excited that he got sick..."
~*~
Over the next two weeks, Harry and Hermione busied themselves with designing and practicing new content for their proposed book. They had come up with several new rituals, mostly for home defense, a number of potions, and some tactics just for fun. The couple used the magically upgraded Shrieking Shack as their testing grounds.
Not all of the rituals were strictly for defense. A few of the simpler sex-rituals were designed for household charms. One in particular was created to keep the participants' home neat and orderly. It would magically dust, sweep, and mop along with straightening chairs, leveling photos, and the like. This particular ritual needed some milk and honey dribbled over both parties' torsos and they needed to have sex on the home's kitchen table.
But Harry and Hermione came up with several rituals that would effectively erect protective wards around the house. One ritual that Hermione had created was a powerful Anti-Apparation Ward. As opposed to other Anti-Apparation Wards, this one was relatively simple to erect. For the ritual, the wizard had to suckle on the largest toe on the witch's left foot, whilst she sucked on his thumb from his right hand for fifteen minutes. Then the wizard had to ejaculate on each of the four corners of the building (this part of the ritual obviously would take some time to complete, allowing the wizard to recuperate between corners).
One Ward that Harry created was a nasty Anti-Harm Deterrent Ward. Basically, this ritual set up a ward around a house designed to detect the intentions of anyone who approached the house. If the person's intentions were good, the ward would let them pass. But if the person wanted to physically harm someone, then the ward would cause that person to empty their bowels violently. If the person was left in the effects of the ward long enough, he'd collapse from dehydration. This ritual involved anal sex and the wizard had to pinch his own left nipple while simultaneously pinching the witch's nose shut.
Another ward, dubbed the Evil Freezer, caused anyone who tried to cast an Unforgivable Curse to freeze in mid-incantation. The ritual was one of the longer ones to perform. First, Harry had to take Hermione from behind as she hung halfway out a window that faced the East as the sun rose, then he had to work on her bare bottom in a specific series of swats, pinches, and squeezes. Then he had to take her again, this time as she hung out a window on the West side during sunset.
However, not everything the couple came up with worked. Take for instance a potion Hermione had tried to create. Her plan was to have the potion halt the wizard's climax, thereby extending the man's performance by a significant period of time. Unfortunately when Harry tested this potion on himself, he proved that it didn't work. In fact it was a very messy disaster. The potion didn't extend his performance; it did however have the nasty side-effect of increasing the amount and force of his discharge a thousand fold.
"Blimey, it's getting all over the place," Harry commented. The potion had turned him into a lawn-sprinkler. Not the type of sprinkler that rains down evenly in a circular pattern, mind you. He was the type of sprinkler that spat and squirted in uneven, long arcs of fluid with a noisy discharge. Added to this analogy, 'Harry, Jr.' was making a very loud noise similar to a sprinkler. "SHPLISH - - SPLISH - - SLPISH-SQUIRT-SQUIRT-SQUIRT"
"Harry! STOP!" Hermione demanded and spat, as she tried to back away from the human sprinkler.
"I can't!" he grunted and launched another rapid series of squirts that arced across the room, hitting the walls, floor, and ceiling... along with his girlfriend. A part of Harry, the dirty part, actually liked the latter target and so, unwillingly (or so he'd later claim) he aimed for the witch.
"AHK! PHHT!" Hermione spat and sputtered again. "Don't get it in my eyes! Oh No! Not in my hair!"
And there were a few ideas that had nothing to do with magic. Such as Hermione's own Massaging Oil which wasn't too greasy, and heated upon contact (it could also be used as a lubricant, wink-wink). This new oil also turned out to be a healthy substitute for butter in baking (Harry wrote a note to mention in the book not to use it as a butter substitute after it was used for one or both of its other uses). And then Harry had several ideas on massages; he found he was a natural at foot rubs. Of course foot rubs led to the calves being massaged, which led to the thighs getting a good rub-down, and logically, this led directly to finger-banging.
~*~
One night after supper, Harry and Hermione were making their way back to their chambers down a deserted hallway.
"I came up with a new ward," the brunette announced. "This ward will theoretically create an infallible door locking charm, as well as strengthening the windows and doors of a house during an attack. So if an attacker bypasses or breaks through the other wards, this ward would prevent him from entering the house. An Alohomora wouldn't work and the attacker's blasting hexes would be ineffectual. It would be the ideal ward to allow the inhabitants to escape through the floo, or even simply give them enough time for help to arrive."
"That's neat," Harry said. And then asked what he felt was the most important part: the casting of this ward; "How's it done?"
"Well, we'll have to test it out," she said. It was obvious by her eyes that she was more than willing to test the ward out dozens of times. Even after the ward was proven, it was clear that Hermione would still be willing to "test" it several more times. "But you, the wizard, would have to take me, the witch, from behind while I have my naked tits pressed against the door, or window - which ever item we're trying to strengthen. Then, after you cum in me, you'd have to rub your bits on the same door or window, thereby spreading our combined juices on it. The ritual would have to be performed for every window and door."
"Gee, the Shrieking Shack has a lot of doors and windows," Harry said knowingly.
"Yes, that would mean that we would have to perform this ritual a number of times then, won't we?" Hermione said with a smile. "Are you up for shagging me against each and every door and window in the Shack?" she asked coyly.
"Oh, at least two times for each one. In fact, I think I should take you into this classroom," he said and led her to one of the castle's numerous abandoned rooms, "and give the ward a try right now."
The moment the door creaked open, a shout of "Accio Wands!" came from the darkness behind them. Before either could register what was happening, Harry and Hermione's wands were magically pulled from their pockets, soaring to where the voice had come from.
Harry spun in time to see someone in the shadows flick their wand in his direction. An invisible wall forcibly pushed Harry and his girlfriend into the empty classroom. The couple tumbled across the floor and crashed into the far wall. As Harry started to get up, he heard Hermione yelp in surprise. The black haired wizard looked up to see his girlfriend already standing, but she had a thick rope coiling around her as if it was a snake. It wrapped around her ankles, up her legs, over her hips, it pinned her hands and arms to her midsection, and it bound her shoulders. Hermione teetered for a second before falling to the ground.
"Harry, run-" Hermione began. But a length of fabric materialized and tied itself around her mouth, effectively gagging her.
"At last, we're alone," Draco Malfoy said as he sauntered in and closed the door behind him. Hermione muffled something, most likely a threat at Draco. The blond ponce looked at the bound witch and corrected his statement. "Well, we're mostly alone."
Draco took two steps to Harry. With each step, Draco unhooked a clasp of his flaming pink robe.
"Wait, Malfoy, you don't want to do this," Harry protested as he took two steps back. If he had his wand, he'd Stun Draco, free Hermione, run out of the classroom, and pretend that this never happened. But since Draco was the only one with a wand and Harry knew that if he tried to escape, the blond wizard would either magically trip him or worst; tie him up like he had to Hermione.
"Oh, but I do want to do this, Harry," lisped Draco. He unhooked another clasp and Harry could see that Malfoy wasn't wearing a shirt under his garishly colored robe. "You know, shortly before I returned to this marvelous castle, I was hit with a bout of unbearable suffering. Apparently, this dreadful pain affected anyone with a Dark Mark. It was all over the Prophet if you don't recall."
"Yes I do, actually. Why don't you tell me how you overcame it," Harry said nervously. He was hoping to distract Malfoy long enough to figure out a way to escape.
"I managed because of our love," Draco said affectionately. "The thought of our passion, our destiny, our love, gave me the strength to persevere. That and drinking half a bottle of Fire Whiskey in one swallow helped, too."
At this point, Draco theatrically threw his robes open. Harry quickly averted his eyes. However, he was not quick enough to miss the fact that Draco wasn't wearing any pants or trousers. And, worse, that he had a frilly lace ribbon tied in a bow around a certain part of his anatomy.
"Come to me my heart. Let us join in the bonds of fated love," Draco said, and began to walk to Harry with his arms wide open, ready to embrace the black haired wizard.
Harry, being the brave Gryffindor that he was, leapt behind Hermione's prone body and attempted to shield himself from Draco with his girlfriend. Hermione tried to protest, because she obviously didn't like the sight of the "gift bow" either.
"Aha, poor befuddled Harry," huffed Draco disappointedly, "still trying to deny your inner feelings of longing."
The blond flicked his wand and Hermione was tugged from Harry's grasp, and dragged to the other side of the room.
"I guess I'll just have to show you the error of your ways," Draco said with a knowing smile. "I've been saving myself for you."
Draco took another three steps toward Harry. The black haired wizard scurried on his bum across the floor as to not give Draco a target.
"Well, to be honest, there was the five snog sessions with Colin," Draco admitted, pausing in his approach. "But he was just an appetizer compared to you, so I don't think I should even count him." Again Draco moved and again, Harry scurried backwards on his bottom.
"Why do you run, my heart?" asked Draco adoringly. "We are meant to be together. It is fate, kismet, destiny!"
"Listen, that Prophet article was a misprint," Harry blurted out. He had faced death on numerous occasions, but he never had to face the possibility of a willy shoved up his bum, much less one with a "gift bow." "I'm in love with Hermione. We've had sex loads of times."
"Refuse it all you want, my dearest soul mate," Malfoy said, smirking. "Soon, you and I will be in the throws of passion. You'll forget all about your frizzy haired beard."
Hermione grunted another protest. Whether it was in defense of Harry or due to offence by being referred to as a beard, Harry couldn't tell.
Suddenly, the door to the classroom swung open. All three sets of eyes turned to see Courtney walk in.
"Hey, what's going on in here?" the Auror in training asked upon seeing Hermione bound and gagged. A demented twinkle appeared in her eyes and she said hopefully, "Oh, how kinky. You've tied Hermione up and now you two are going to take turns with her! Can I watch? I want to see the blond bloke take Hermione first!"
"What? I'd never touch a witch," Draco said, clearly appalled by such an idea.
"Courtney, you have to help," Harry said as he ran and bravely hid behind her. "Malfoy is infatuated with me; he's positive that I'm in love with him."
"It's not infatuation, it's true and pure love," Draco objected. "You are my knight, the rescuer of the damsel, me."
"He's not gay," Courtney said dismissively while looking the pink robed wizard up and down. Clearly, she was not offended by the fact that Draco had his bits exposed, nor that he had a frilly bow tied around his John Thomas.
"Yes, he is," Harry argued.
"Yes I am," agreed Draco. "Look at what I'm wearing."
"Bright colors do not make a person gay. By the way, I like the bow," the witch said with a smirk. "Personally, I've know plenty of gay blokes. Hell, I even dated a few of them before they came out of the closet. I can recognize a gay wizard from a mile away, closeted or otherwise." Courtney then added in a soft undertone "Wish I would've had that skill before I dated the poofters to be." She then said to Draco "You're just confused."
"No, I'm not," Draco challenged. "I'm gay as the day is long!"
"Oh really, are you sure?" she asked. Courtney took a step towards Draco. She looked him in the eye and inquired; "Do you crave, no need to hold another wizard's cock? To feel his pulse throb in your hand? Is it a dream of yours to run your tongue up his hot shaft and taste his sweat? Do you desire to have the musky taste of his cum on your tongue?"
As she spoke, Courtney inched forward, slowly closing the space between her and the blond wizard. Draco's face twitch once or twice as the witch painted images with her words. But his eyes still held that defiance.
"Or is the thought of large breasts more appealing to you?" she continued to ask. Harry saw Courtney tug her robes open and took another step toward Draco. She was so close to the blond wizard that her orbs were gently brushing against his bare torso. "Would running your hands over the milky white flesh of a witch's bosom make your heart race? Do you want to feel her hard nipples between your fingers as you tweak them?" She moved her torso so that her titties were being rubbed in circular motions on Draco's chest. "What kind of sounds would she make when you rolled the nub between your fingers? Does the way her skin prickle at your touch fascinate you? Or does a part of you want to gently scrape your teeth on the underside of her breast? Do you desire to bat your tongue over her hard nipples?"
Draco's face had turned a bright red and tiny droplets of sweat had sprung up on his brow. While still leaning into the wizard, Courtney looked back over her shoulder at Harry.
"He's not gay," she announced.
"Are you sure?" Harry asked nervously.
"Oh, yeah," she said smiling. "When I was talking about man-bits, I didn't get a twitch out of him."
"Excuse me, his face got all scrunched up when you said those things," Harry pointed out.
"I wasn't talking about his face," she clarified. "But once I started talking about jugs, well, let's just say that the evidence that he doesn't like blokes is pressing against me right now."
Thankfully, Courtney did not move away from Draco to prove this point. However, Harry could see that Draco had his eyes fixed on the witch - - but it wasn't her face that he was staring at. Despite this, Harry could still see that Draco was a little confused and our hero feared that his school nemesis would have a relapse, so to speak, and try to molest him once again. A sudden idea came to Harry as to how he could keep Draco away from him.
"Courtney, could you... you know... take care of Draco?" Harry asked. "For me?"
"What the hell are you asking?" Courtney demanded. She closed her robes and turned to face Harry.
"Well, he's still thinks he's gay, at least a part of him does," Harry explained. "Could you, please, show him that he really isn't gay at all?"
"Are you asking me to shag him?" she demanded with her brow furrowed in anger.
"No, at least not necessarily," Harry clarified. "I was thinking you could take him out and see how it plays from there. If shagging occurs, then so be it."
"Sure, he's a yummy. But, he hasn't even bought me flowers or anything like that."
"Here, Draco," Harry began while digging through his pockets. He pulled out a few galleons and handed them to the mostly naked wizard. "Go buy Courtney some flowers."
Draco snatched the gold from Harry, threw the two wands he had captured down on the ground, and dashed out of the room; clearly to go buy some flowers for Courtney. That or masturbate over the thought of her boobs. Or both.
"I can't believe you did that," she said with a touch of anger. "You're trying to get him to go out with me because you don't want him trying to molest you again."
"That's the gist of it, yes," Harry said while nodding his head.
"You're barmy," she said. "What if it doesn't work? What if we go on a date, he finds out I'm not his type of witch and he slips back into thinking he's gay for you?"
"He got an erection," Harry countered. "Of course he'll like you."
"Harry, just because he got a stiffy doesn't mean he's into me. Here, watch," she said and pulled her robes open again.
"Oh, my," murmured Harry as he tilted his head to the left. His other head took a distinct turn to the right. Hermione made some noise. Again, Harry didn't know if she was protesting the fact that her boyfriend was looking at another witch's bare breasts or if she was upset because she couldn't see them herself.
"See, you already have wood," Courtney gestured to Harry's groin. "It doesn't mean that you're into me."
After a second he shook his head (not that one, the one with two eyes) in an attempt to think clearly. "Listen, you said it yourself, Draco's confused and you can help him stop from making a mistake."
"What's in it for me?" she asked.
"You may grow to like him," speculated Harry even though he didn't believe it himself; he couldn't see how anyone with a pulse could like Draco. But some people were weird that way.
Courtney tapped her foot on the ground several times as she mulled over the proposition. This foot tapping caused her mounds to jiggle a touch to Harry's fascination. Finally, she agreed. "All right, but you have to hook me up with someone else if it doesn't work out. He has to be cute. But it's okay that' he's ugly if he's hung. Or rich."
"Deal," Harry said. He paused as a glimmer of light drew his attention back to Courtney's breasts. "What's that on your nipple?"
The wizard had been so transfixed by her breasts - - as any man would tell you, breasts are the most captivating object in the entire universe; the beauty of a picture perfect sunrise cannot hold a candle to a good boob - - that he had not noticed the silver ring dangling from her pink nub.
"Oh, it's a nipple-ring," she replied and threw her chest out so Harry could get a better look at the dangling piece of jewelry. "Do you like it?"
"No. A tit isn't a Christmas tree; you don't need to decorate it," Harry said while still transfixed.
"They're hot and fun," Courtney argued. "Go on, give it a tug."
"What?" Harry asked, taken back by the request.
"Tug on it," she repeated. "It feels great."
"Um, I have a girlfriend," Harry said and pointed to his bound and gagged witch a few feet away. He was trying to use the age-old "My girlfriend will kill me if I do anything remotely like that" defense.
"She can give it a pull after you," Courtney said and then turned to Hermione. "You don't mind, do you?"
Surprisingly, Hermione shrugged her shoulders in acceptance and muttered through the gag "mf-kay."
Courtney spun back to face Harry and threw back her shoulders in order to present her sizable mounds to him. "All right now give it a tug."
Hesitantly, Harry raised his hand and moved it slowly to Courtney's offered tit. With a tremble in his hand, he took hold of the ring between the tips of his thumb and forefinger. Gently, he pulled the ring up and let it fall back down.
"What the hell was that?" demanded Courtney.
"I don't want to hurt you," protested Harry.
"I told you to tug on it," the Auror said. "It's not like I asked you to rip it off. But you didn't even properly tug on it. You barely even touched it."
Courtney rolled her eyes and flicked her wand at Hermione. The ropes and gag vanished with a soft pop. "Oi, Hermione, you're a kinky girl. Come over here and show your boyfriend how to tug on my nipple ring the right way."
A sweet smile graced Hermione's lips as she stood. She carefully smoothed out the pleats of her skirt before walking up to the Auror.
Harry Potter had prevailed over numerous attempts on his life. He was the only known survivor of the dreaded Killing Curse. He survived wresting with a troll when he was eleven. When he was only twelve years old, he defeated a Basilisk. The young wizard vanquished hordes of Dementors when he was just thirteen. Survived a dragon and dueled the most fear dark wizard to a standstill when he was fourteen. And he fought off a dozen fully trained Death Eaters when he was fifteen until help arrived. But what Hermione did nearly ended Harry's life.
The brunette witch politely folded her hands behind her back, bent over slightly at her hips so that her face was level with Courtney's breasts, opened her mouth wide and stuck out her tongue. Harry watched as his girlfriend's tongue wriggled a bit before hooking the nipple ring. Deftly, Hermione's talented tongue pulled the ring into her mouth before closing her teeth on the piece of jewelry. With a growl, Hermione pulled at the ring like a dog pulling on a toy. Courtney moaned softly as her sensitive flesh was stretched.
Simply put; it was a miracle that Harry didn't drop dead right there.
"Cor, that was a good one," cheered Courtney. The Auror looked at Harry and commented, "I think you broke him."
"No, he's fine," Hermione said as she stood. "He just has a raging hard-on right now. Come on, baby, let's go take care of that."
"I don't think I can move," Harry said in a small voice as he felt his heart start to beat once more.
"We're not going far. We're just going over to the table over there so Courtney can watch again."
"Okay," Harry said and staggered to the teacher's table.
"Although I should go fetch Luna," Hermione said absentmindedly. "We did promise her that she could watch the next time we had a show."
"It's about time," Luna's disembodied voice sounded. The blonde witch slowly pulled off an invisibility cloak, announcing, "I've been following you two around for ages waiting for you to say that."
"Where did you get that cloak?" asked Hermione.
"It's Harry's," she replied, and carefully folded the magical cloak up. "I borrowed it so that I could follow you two."
"Don't you want to invite Ron to watch, too?" asked Hermione, clearly not bothered that their audience was growing.
"No, Ronald, the dear man, is quite boisterous when he masturbates. I'm afraid he'd distract from the show. I mean, I'll cheer and give encouragement. But Ronald makes loud, nearly screaming, grunting sounds when he pleasures himself." Luna took a seat and commanded, "Well, get on with the show."
"You've been following us?" Harry asked. "But that means you watched as Draco tied Hermione up and threatened to molest me."
"True," Luna said casually.
"And you didn't do anything to stop Malfoy?" the brunette witch asked.
"I told you that I wanted to see a sex show. Even though I had hoped that it would be you and Harry, at that point I would've settled for Harry and Draco. I was growing rather desperate."
"Enough babbling, get on with the show," Courtney ordered as she took a seat next to Luna.
As Hermione stripped Harry - - who still hadn't fully recovered from Hermione tugging on Courtney's tits with her teeth enough to use his hands properly - - Luna asked "Do they take requests?"
"Oh, yes," Courtney answered. "What would you like to see?"
"Well, I think he should whack his penis against her face," offered Luna in a sing-song tone.
As Hermione opened Harry's trousers, she whispered in his ear; "That does sound exciting doesn't it?"
That was when the shock of seeing his girlfriend playing with another witch's tit went away. Encouraged by his kinky lover, Harry pulled 'Harry, Jr.' out of his pants.
"Yeah, penis!" cheered Luna.
Smiling, Hermione knelt down, closed her eyes, and waited for the playful blow. Now, since Harry wasn't large, the "slap" was more like a "brush." But nonetheless, both Courtney and Luna cheered loudly and clapped when the action was played out.
After the unimpressive but still appreciated "cock slap," Harry and Hermione proceeded to give the two witches one hell of a show. There was oral sex, nipple tweaking, sensual massages, and hair tugging. But Luna and Courtney gave the lovers a standing ovation when Harry pushed his fore and middle fingers up Hermione's bottom. Each time Hermione announced an orgasm - - which she did loudly - - the two witches clapped and whistled. And the audience of two began chanting "Swallow, swallow" when it was apparent that Harry was nearing the end.
When the show ended and as the two lovers got dressed, Courtney stood and said; "This is always fun. Next time, tell me in advance of a show and I'll bring refreshments."
"See you next time," Harry bid the Auror farewell as she walked out of the classroom. "I can't believe I just said that there'll be a 'next time.' God, I've gone kinky."
"That was brilliant," Luna said happily. "I'll have to make a Pensieve, so that Ronald and I can revisit this for our own pleasure."
"Oh, Luna, I have a question," Hermione began. "Can your father's printing press make books as well as newspapers?"
"Yes, certainly," Luna answered. "What are you planning?"
"We're going to make an updated version of The Magic of Making Love," the brunette replied. "Harry and I have come to the conclusion that it would be very beneficial to release it now during this troubling time."
"Understandable. And you would get off on the idea of hundreds of people looking at dirty pictures of you two," Luna added. "Oh, please tell me there'll be photos, because I'd gladly be one of those hundreds looking at them."
"I reckon there would have to be," Harry said. "You know, to show the reader the proper poses and whatnot."
"Then I'll be the one taking the photos!" Luna gushed. "I can't believe I'll be helping Harry Potter and Hermione Granger make a book!"
"We'll be using noms de plume, actually," informed Hermione. "Yes, we can admit that we're kinky and have grown to like having people watch, but we'd still like some privacy."
"Well, you'll have to alter your features as well then," Luna stated. "Harry is so recognizable that he'd be spotted straight away."
"Good point," the brunette agreed. "I'll work on some glamour charms, and we'll start taking photos this weekend"
"Hey Luna, how about you and Ron participate? You know, you two can act as models as well. That way, the reader will have two couples to look at," offered Harry.
Luna's response was not given in words as much as it was given in kisses. And it wasn't just chaste innocent kisses, but the type of kiss where a bystander might get the impression that one of the parties was trying their best to suffocate the other with their tongue.
Harry, who had his hands up in surprise, could do nothing but stand there as the blonde witch dangled from his neck as she assaulted him with her tongue. He looked over at Hermione and was surprised to see that she was smiling as if she found this amusing.
"Um, Luna, that's my boyfriend," Hermione stated nonchalantly as the blonde continued to snog Harry.
After a good long time, Luna removed herself from Harry. She hopped in place with a bright smile as she said "Oh, thank you Harry! That would be brilliant!"
Harry wasn't even given a blink of an eye to recover from Luna's kiss before the blonde pounced on Hermione. Just as she had with Harry, Luna rammed her tongue deep into Hermione's mouth. The only difference between the two kisses was that after a few seconds, Hermione returned the kiss with an equal amount of energy. Apparently she had quickly become accustomed to Luna's kiss and had decided to reciprocate it.
The wizard watched in awe as his girlfriend swapped spit with his best mate's wife. He saw their tongues dance and fight with one another, teeth scraping against the other witch's teeth, and their lips pushing each other.
Now, it was perfectly normal that this view caused 'Harry, Jr.' to suddenly wake up again. And it was also perfectly normal for a majority of the blood that filled Harry's brain to be rapidly redirected so that the body could reinforce this spontaneous erection. This caused our hero to become light headed and swayed a touch.
Luna finally pulled away from Hermione's lips. A thin string of spit still connected the two witches' mouths.
"You are energetic, aren't you?" Hermione asked the blonde rhetorically.
The blonde licked her lips and happily commented, "So that's what Harry tastes like." She licked her lips once again and added; "I see now why you like to swallow. He's very yummy."
"It's the diet I put him on," Hermione replied. "I cannot recommend it enough."
Fighting the hemorrhage that was threatening to end his existence, Harry tugged down his trousers, freeing 'Harry, Jr.'. And after grabbing Hermione about the shoulders, and while he was dragging Hermione back to the table, he asked Luna "You care to stick around for another show?"
Squealing like a little girl who found out she had gotten a real live pony on Christmas morning, Luna dashed back to her chair. Before sitting, she requested; "Can I move my chair up to the table so I can get a closer view?"
"Why not," agreed Hermione while Harry tore open her blouse.
The chair scraped against the floor as Luna dragged it toward the table. "Wait, wait, don't start until I'm ready," she said.
Once the chair was next to the table, Luna flopped down and began hopping up and down on her bum. "Okay, you can shag away now!"
~*~
Early on Saturday morning, Harry, Hermione, Luna, and Ron walked through the secret underground corridor and into the Shrieking Shack.
"Oh, wow," Ron said in amazement as he looked up at the now opulent interior of the Shack. The alterations that Harry had accidentally made when he and Hermione had made love for the first time were still in place.
"Okay, you two, you go into one of the bedrooms and change, using that glamour charm I taught you. Harry and I will do the same in another room," Hermione told the other couple.
"Sure thing," Ron said while eyeing the impressive staircase.
Harry and Hermione made their way to the luxurious master suite. Once there, they parted and entered the separate bathrooms, in order to surprise their partner with their "new" look.
The wizard waved his wand over his face and cast one of the many glamour charms that Hermione had told him about. He eyed himself in the mirror and nodded his head in approval.
"Are you ready?" he called out to the other bathroom, as he entered the bedroom.
"Not just yet," Hermione answered through the door. "Have you thought of a nom de plume yet?"
"Yeah, I'll be 'Tim Hunter,'" announced Harry. He felt that it was dashing and suited him to a Tee.
"Tim Hunter, I like that," Hermione said.
"What's your name going to be?" he asked.
"Mona Puckle" she replied.
"That's neat," Harry said.
As Hermione continued to change her appearance, Hedwig swooped in through one of the master suite's picturesque windows. The owl landed on the wizard's outstretched arm and presented a letter. Harry note the letter and thanked his familiar. Hedwig hooted happily and flew out the window.
Harry opened the post and read a note from Alicia.
"Thanks for the information, Harry. After your endorsement, I finally worked up the courage and gave the beads a try. That's why I haven't responded to your post until now. My boyfriend was more than excited to tug those little bad boys out of my bum. We've been playing with it for days on end. Hell, I went to work with them wedged up there - -bending over to pick up packages proved to be a surprising experiment. It was interesting to say the least.
If you have any other toys that you'd like to recommend, please don't hesitate to let me know.
Love,
Alicia"
While Harry read the note, Hedwig flew in and out of the room twice. Apparently the owl was dumbfounded that the interior of the Shack was so much larger than the exterior, and she was trying to figure out how this could be possible.
"Say hello to 'Mona Puckle'," announced Hermione, as she stepped out of the bathroom. Her now strawberry blonde hair was straight and cut short. Her nose was slightly longer with her cheekbones a touch more predominate on her face. A cute little dimple graced her chin.
"Wow, you look smashing," stated Harry, as Hedwig flew out of the room once more.
Hermione eyed her boyfriend disapprovingly. "For Heaven's sake, Harry; all you did was change your hair from dark black to dark brown."
"No, I covered up my scar, too," Harry protested. As he pointed to his forehead to show off his smooth brow, Hedwig swooped into the room once more, and landed on his arm this time.
"You still have your glasses on. And Hedwig's perched on your arm," scolded Hermione. "With just one look, anyone could tell that Harry Potter is Tim Hunter."
"I don't know what's wrong with her," he said while looking at his owl as the bird took flight once more. "She keeps yo-yoing in and out of the room."
"Come here," Hermione said. She led Harry into the bathroom she had used and retrieved her wand. She waved it in a complex pattern in front of Harry's face for a full four minutes. When she was done, Harry had short and spiky, dirty blonde hair, a square jaw with a cleft chin, and strong cheekbones.
"See, now no one can compare the similarities between Harry Potter and Tim Hunter," Hermione said proudly.
The disguised couple left the bedroom and made their way to the game room. There they found Ron and Luna waiting for them in their disguises. Luna had changed the color of her eyes to violet, and now had inky black hair that was so long it hung nearly to her knees. Added to her changed appearance, the witch's cheeks were rounder, both sets of cheeks that is. Ron had lost his gangly appearance with the illusion of an extra fifteen pounds of muscle, and a hint of fat around his waist. His hair was dark black, just as Luna's, and was medium length with wispy curls. With Ron's slightly furrowed brow, deep eyes, and half smile he had magically changed his expression so that he looked cool and calm while in deep thought - - or at least Harry thought it was an illusion, because when Ron normally tried to look like he was in deep thought, he often gave the impression that he was confused and a bit frightened.
Luna held up four pairs of black silk eye masks, saying, "I think we should wear these. It will add a touch of sensuality and mystery to the photographs. Also, I believe it will help conceal our identities. If we wear these masks, most people will assume that they are our only means of concealing our identities and won't attempt to investigate further."
"That's brilliant, Luna," Hermione said, and took one of the offered masks. She tied it around her head and introduced her alter ego. "Hello, I'm Mona Puckle."
"Hi Mona, my name is Perky Weatherby," said Luna as she curtsied. The now black haired witch gestured to Ron, stating, "And this is my partner; Neil Gaiman."
"Hello Neil, I'm Tim Hunter," Harry greeted and shook Ron's hand.
"I get this strange impression that we've met somewhere before," Ron playfully returned.
"How peculiar, I get that impression, as well," Harry said with a laugh.
"Have you come up with a name for the book yet?" asked Luna.
"Not yet," Hermione replied. "We'll think of something."
"I know, how about 'Books of Magic'?" offered Harry.
"That's brilliant," cheered Ron. "'Books of Magic: the Teachings of Tim Hunter and Mona Puckle, as told to Neil Gaiman!"
"What about me?" Luna asked.
"Oh, yeah. '...as told to Neil Gaiman and Perky Weatherby," corrected Ron.
"If anything, it will have all four of our fake names as authors," Harry said. "Besides, now that I think about it, I believe 'Books of Magic' may already have been written. The last thing I need is to get sued for plagiarism."
"All right then, we'll come up with a title later. But for now; let's get started," announced Hermione. "I think we should begin by photographing some stretches and limbering exercises. That way the readers can hold some of the positions for the rituals. And we can loosen up for the rest of the necessary poses."
"Should we do it in the nude?" Luna asked.
"Why not," Harry answered.
The four friends quickly stripped; not embarrassed or concerned with their nudity in the slightest.
Hermione walked up to Luna and, while looking directly at her enormous boobs, said, "You know, Luna, I think you've turned me into a bit of a breast connoisseur." She reached forward and took hold of each large tit. Hermione squashed them. The milky white flesh of Luna's ample breasts was compressed between Hermione's fingers. Hermione admitted; "They're simply amazing."
While Hermione continued to fondle and jiggle Luna's epic titties, Luna decided to return the favor. She, too, reached out and began playing with Hermione smaller, yet still wonderful, breasts. Nipples were pinched, tits were jiggled, and boobs were squished together as the witches giggled and laughed lightheartedly.
After this mutual breast play, Luna looked over at the two practically comatose and openly drooling wizards, and echoed Courtney's earlier diagnosis: "I think we broke them."
To Be Continued