A/N - pretty much every comment for the last chapter was how it was so sad, which I guess it is. In fact, when I think about this story as a whole, I reckon it will continue to be sad for a little while longer. Sorry - but it will end up being happy! I saw it more as a story of strength and didn't really think it being really sad…Anyway, I hope you like this chapter.
Chapter 2
The week was indeed busy for Hermione as she finished up at her job, booked her tickets to France and packed her life away into three categories - what she was going to take, what she was going to store at her parents house (that was being rented out to a nice young family in Oxford) and what was going to be sold.
She had bought a backpack that was nearly as big as her - but she was determined that it would be all she would take. Deciding what would go with her didn't end up being as difficult as she thought - the bare basics were all packed neatly and sitting in the newly purchased pack. Everything else; all her books, most of her clothes, furniture - everything - was either sold or boxed up.
The only things that she planned to take with her that weren't a necessity, were three photos. One was of her family, taken at one of the rare holiday's she had spent at home. Her mother was holding a squirming Crookshanks while her dad was watching, laughing. They were all gone now, all killed in a war that they had no part in.
Another was of the Order members before the last battle - Remus, Tonks, Hagrid, McGonagall, all of the Weasleys (except for Percy, who at that stage still wasn't talking to his family), Moody, Kingsley, Luna, Neville, Harry and herself with Hedwig and Pig flying over them. Hermione had stopped the photo from moving, capturing them all when everyone was smiling either at each other or the camera. It would be the last time; Moody, Charlie and of course Harry no longer with them.
The third photo was of the Trio - Harry, Ron and herself - taken sometime during their search for the Horcruxes in their seventh year at Hogwarts. They were trying to smile but a tired sadness was evident in all three sets of eyes.
She was looking at that photo now and sighed. It was Sunday, which meant dinner at the Weasleys. Hermione planned to tell them all in one go, deciding that Ron might take her departure a bit easier with his family around him. Though he had married Luna and they were fantastically happy with each other, Ron clung to Hermione as if she was the last link to a life he didn't want to forget. Which, of course, she was.
For Hermione, it had become smothering as sitting around a table reminiscing about the good times were just too painful for her and she found herself pulling away from him so she didn't have to keep reliving the life that, for her, no longer existed.
It wasn't all Ron's fault. She had never told him to stop, that his memories were something she was trying to forget. It was therapeutic for Ron, she knew that, and the need for him to hang onto the past was something he was still working through, even after all this time.
Now she was leaving him, just like Harry had, and he wasn't going to be happy.
Sighing, Hermione put the photo back into the protective sheath along side the other two and put them back in her bag. With only six days to go, her place was nearly empty with just a few more things to be sold. Sighing again, she grabbed her handbag and keys and Apparated to the Burrow.
The kitchen was already bustling when she stepped through the back door - Ron and a very pregnant Luna were seated at the long family table with Ron in the middle of a fierce debate with the twins over some Quidditch fact. Bill and Fleur's little boy was playing with his granddad on the mat in front of the fire with his parents watching on - Fleur's belly also showing her early stages of pregnancy. Ginny was helping her mother at the sink and noticed Hermione's arrival, welcoming her in.
Hermione's quietness wasn't remarked on as she had steadily retreated into herself when surrounded by the Weasley's, but it didn't really matter as the conversation never slacked. It wasn't long before the meal was over and people began to leave - Bill and Fleur first, taking their little boy home to bed. Hermione knew the twins would leave early as well and stayed silent until they too had departed.
The rest of the family retired to the living room to wind down before each returning to their homes. Hermione knew this was her chance, and taking a deep breath, she spoke.
"I have something I need to tell you all," she began, blushing when all eyes turned to her.
"Don't tell me you actually hit it off with that bloke Ginny set you up with," Ron joked, earning a glare from his sister.
"There was nothing wrong with him…"
"I don't think that's Hermione's news," Luna interrupted, her large blue eyes boring into Hermione. She took another deep breath.
"No, no it isn't. I've decided to leave…"
"Leave?" Ron cut in, grinning broadly, "excellent, its about time you had a holiday…"
"No Ron, that's not what I meant," Hermione countered, "I mean, I'm leaving here, leaving England…"
"Are you going to work at Hogwarts dear?" Mrs Weasley asked with a small frown, "Minerva didn't mention anything about you working up there in Scotland."
"I'm not working at Hogwarts," Hermione carried on, getting slightly exasperated, "I'm going overseas, to work and travel…"
"For how long?" Ginny questioned, finally catching on.
"I…I don't know. Indefinitely…"
"Indefinitely?" Ron repeated, "you're not coming back?"
"No."
Hermione watched as her news sunk in, everyone reacting slightly differently - Ron turning a brilliant shade of red.
"When are you going?" he asked, his voice constricted.
"In six days time. Next Saturday."
"And you're telling me this now."
"I only made the decision last week…"
"After Harry's test results came in…"
"Yes." The two friends looked at each other, ignoring everyone else in the room. Hermione braced herself for the storm that she knew was about to come her way.
"So, you're running away," Ron continued, still calm and controlled.
"I'm not running away Ron," she said back, also calmly, "I'm getting away. You all keep telling me to get on with my life and now I am…"
"We meant find a job, find a man, settle down not leave the bloody country!"
"It's not that easy for me and you know it," she replied, her quiet voice contrasting with his loudness, "I have to be there for him…"
"Every bloody day!" Ron shouted, "he can't even hear you! He doesn't know that you're there!"
"So? Are we just meant to forget about him? Let him lay there on his own because he can't talk back?"
"Well, that's obviously not a problem for you, is it?" Ron snapped, "since you're buggering off. I can't believe you're abandoning him…"
"How dare you Ronald Weasley," Hermione retorted, hurt, "how dare you pull the guilt card out on me when Harry's lucky to hear your voice once a month! Maybe with me gone you will pull your finger out and actually spend time with your best friend!"
"I spend time with him, I'm just not obsessed with him like you are! Like you've always been! We can't all live up to your exacting standards, Hermione."
"My standards? So we're resorting to an argument we've had so many times, that I expect too much? Well, Ron, that's who I am! Harry needs us, needs me! He's still fighting and we vowed to be there with him until the end…"
"And you're breaking that vow…"
"I have been by his side for three years! Three years!" Hermione screamed at him, her anger boiling over, "holding his hand, talking to him, wishing that he'd come back. I can't do it anymore!"
"What do you think it's been like for me!" Ron yelled, advancing on her, "he wasn't there for my wedding, my best mate! And seeing him like he's dead - you aren't the only one that loves him Hermione, so do I!"
"But I'm the only one in love with him!"
Hermione froze the moment her words left her mouth and unthinkingly she looked at Ginny, who just stared back, her eyes wide with shock. The room was silent for a moment as her confession hung in the air.
"How long?" Ron finally asked, his voice hard.
"Since fourth year," Hermione admitted, looking back at Ron.
"While we were dating," Ron said harshly, his eyes never leaving hers, "while he was with Ginny."
"Yes."
"Does he know?"
"Yes."
"Have you two kissed?" The question came from Ginny, drawing Hermione's eyes from Ron to his sister. With a heavy heart, Hermione nodded.
"Yes."
"Did you sleep with him?" Hermione dropped her eyes to the carpet.
"Yes," she whispered, nodding ever so slightly.
Looking up, she saw a flash of red hair disappear up the stairs, flinching when a door slam echoed through the house. Mrs Weasley followed her daughter in a rush, scowling at Hermione as she passed. Hermione looked back to Ron.
"Get out," Ron snarled.
"Ron, please…" Hermione tried to reason.
"Get out," he repeated, "go, run away. I don't care any more. You are nothing to me."
Ron stormed out of the living room and out into the garden, leaving Mr Weasley, Luna and Hermione standing uncomfortably in his wake.
"I think it's best you leave Hermione," Mr Weasley said softly as he made his way to her before engulfing her in her last hug, "you take care," he whispered, then followed his son out into the garden.
Hermione let her tears fall, knowing she deserved it and although she hadn't planned to confess something she had wanted to keep so private, in a way she was glad it was out in the open. Turning to the last person in the room, Hermione smiled sadly at her friend.
"He'll come around," Luna said as she took Hermione's hands.
"I don't think so, not this time," Hermione replied wearily, "I'm so sorry Luna."
"There is no need to apologise." The two women looked at each other with fondness borne from friendship.
"Take care of Ron," Hermione said softly, "and the little Weasley you have inside you. And yourself, of course."
"I will."
"Could you…could you make sure…" Hermione started but found her words wouldn't come, her tears blocking their progress.
"Harry will not be alone Hermione," Luna stated with a hardness that she doesn't usually convey, "I promise you that."
"Thank you."
"Take care," Luna continued, hugging Hermione firmly, "may the light of wisdom never fail you, my friend."
Hermione watched in silence as Luna went and joined her husband in the garden. She took one more look around the room that had been like a second home to her after the death of her parents, and ignoring the tears rushing down her cheeks, walked out the front door and didn't look back.
She heard from no one during her last days in England, their silence in a way a welcome relief, though it was difficult to ignore her sadness of how it all ended. She understood it though, the hurt her admission had caused.
Hermione had only spent one night with Harry, the night before the Final Battle took place. Thing was, it was the best night of her life; even though he had been technically with Ginny at the time, which meant she had cheated on her best friend. Even though Hermione hadn't really ended the poor excuse for a relationship with Ron that had been bubbling on for over a year. Even though both Harry and Hermione knew that there was a chance one, or perhaps even both, of them wouldn't survive the battle that had been due to take place.
It had been the first time for both of them, their first experience full of a need resulting from uncertainty, grief and fear. But that hadn't been the only time they had made love that night and the times after the initial intensity had been something special for both of them. They had explored each other with a tenderness that hadn't been awkward or strange, falling asleep wrapped together in a comforting embrace.
The next morning saw them part with Harry knowing Hermione loved him, that what ever happened, she would be there for him even if it was only as a friend. He never repeated the words to her but they knew that after the Battle was over, things could never go back to how they had been. He had told her that she was the most important person in his life. He had told her he couldn't imagine living without her. He had told her everything that she had wanted to hear except that he loved her.
Now, making her way to his room for the last time, her life in a backpack strapped to her shoulders, she remembered that amazing night when nearly all her dreams had come true. And how, twenty four hours later, those dreams had been shattered into a million pieces.
She entered the room and saw the second bed had already been placed there for her. The medical staff had become friends over the years and when she had told them her plans, they had been thoughtful and understanding - even more so than those from Hogwarts. They were going to let her spend Friday night with him, knowing how difficult it was going to be for her to say goodbye. Putting her pack down next to her bed, she went to his side, once more looking down onto the still, pale face.
"Hey Harry, I'm back," she told him, sitting down in her chair, "sorry it's been so long, it's just that I had so much to do. But, it's Friday afternoon and here I am at last, ready to spend some time with you."
Pause.
"I went and saw Professor McGonagall on Wednesday, she's getting ready for the new school year which starts in a couple of months. Can you believe it? A new bunch of first years hitting Hogwarts. I remember when I was eleven, knowing in a couple of months I would be going to one of the top wizarding schools in Europe - I was so excited but so scared! That seems a lifetime ago now."
Pause.
"Oh, by the way, Hagrid says hi, and that he'll pop in in the next few weeks. He seems to be doing well."
Pause.
"Did my funeral visits yesterday, said my goodbyes to mum, dad, Crookshanks, Dumbledore. It was hard going, but you know something? I feel better for it."
This time her pause lasted a little bit longer as she got her thoughts together.
"Harry, I need to tell you something, and I'm really sorry that it happened but…"
She stopped again, reaching out and gently tracing her finger down the side of his face before returning her hand to cover his.
"Ginny knows what we did, they all do. I'm so, so sorry. I know you wanted to tell her yourself, explain everything, but it just kinda popped out. They're really mad at me, especially Ron."
Pause.
"I know we were wrong, that what we did should never have happened, but…"
"I'm glad it did."
Hermione stood up suddenly and turned to the voice that came from the doorway.
"Ginny," she exclaimed, shocked.
"I thought you'd be here," Ginny stated, walking to the other side of Harry's bed, "I needed to speak to you before you left."
"I…you…you're the last person I thought I'd see," Hermione stammered out, still standing awkwardly.
"I know," Ginny smiled, glancing down at Harry, "he looks like he's sleeping doesn't he?"
"That any moment he'll wake up," Hermione finished, looking from Ginny to Harry.
"This must be so hard for you," Ginny continued.
"You have no idea," was the reply. Ginny didn't say anything and Hermione waited nervously to see what was going to happen next.
Harry and Ginny had gotten back together during his seventh year as Harry had returned to Hogwarts and not gone off on his own like he thought he was going to do when he had broken up with the redhead at Dumbledore's funeral. They had been happy, or so it seemed, until the end got closer and closer. It had been Hermione Harry had turned to for comfort and for strength, Ginny not understanding what he was going through. After Harry's injuries from his fight with Voldemort were so severe and the diagnosis was long term unconsciousness, Ginny had finally decided to move on after a year of waiting.
Now she knew of Harry and Hermione's betrayal.
"How many times?" Ginny suddenly asked, her voice barely above a whisper, her eyes still fixed on Harry.
"What?" Hermione spluttered, taken by surprise.
"How many times?" Ginny repeated, "you and Harry. How many times did you sleep together."
"Just the once…"
"Before the last battle?"
"Yes."
"Then I'm glad it happened," Ginny finished, finally looking at Hermione.
"I…I don't understand."
"Harry was lost and I didn't know how to find him," Ginny continued sadly, "but you could. You always could. Even though we were together for over seven months, he was never really close to me, didn't really share the stuff that was important. It was like he wanted to keep all the bad stuff that was happening to him separate from me…"
"He did," Hermione confirmed, "you represented normality, all that was good in his life. Telling you what was happening with him would have taken that away."
"I realise that now. Just like I realise the reason we never went pass kissing was because the connection he needed to give that part of him wasn't with me. It was with you."
"I'm sorry Ginny."
"Please, don't," Ginny bit, "it hurts that the guy I cared about so much never felt the same way about me. It hurts that he had to go to another girl to find what he needed, what I couldn't give him…"
"Ginny…"
"But I understand," Ginny carried on, "I understand it all now. I didn't love Harry, not like you do. And he didn't love me enough to let me see the real Harry."
"Did you really want to?" Hermione asked.
"No, not really," Ginny answered after a moment's thought, "I was reasonably happy with Harry the Hero. Harry the tragic hero wasn't what I was after."
"And now?"
"And now it's our turn to take care of him," Ginny said strongly, "because Harry is our friend and he deserves more than what we've been giving him."
Hermione didn't answer and instead looked down at the man who had been such a huge part of both her and Ginny's lives.
"He truly cared for you Ginny," Hermione said after a moment, "he would hate to think that you hate him…"
"I don't hate him," Ginny replied with a wry smile, "I could never hate him, I've spent too much of my life thinking that I loved him. Just like I don't hate you either. Your news was a shock, but also it wasn't. I think part of me guessed it was your room he went to that night."
Hermione just nodded.
"I better go," Ginny carried on, "Paul is waiting for me."
"Thank…thank you for coming," Hermione stuttered, making her way to the end of the bed as Ginny did the same.
"We've been friends too long for things to end as they did," Ginny shrugged, "and Ron's being such an arse - you deserve better."
"He's hurt…"
"Yeah, but for the wrong reasons," Ginny scowled, "he's hurt because Harry took you away from him - the git. His stupid jealousies are ruining everything."
"I can understand why though…"
"Yeah, he has the right to be grieved," Ginny continued, "but he had admitted you and him weren't working, we could see you and him weren't working. He just didn't want to believe that you and Harry did work. Anyway, my brother's a plonker and he's going to regret not saying good-bye."
"I'm going to miss him," Hermione admitted, "miss all of you. But I need to do this…"
"I know," Ginny said quietly before glancing at her watch, "I really have to go. You take care Hermione, where ever you end up."
"Thanks Ginny," Hermione replied, letting herself be drawn into a hug.
"Good luck," Ginny whispered, her voice hitching slightly, Hermione just nodded, not trusting her own voice. They clung to each other for a moment until Ginny pulled away and left the room with a parting wave.
Hermione stood staring at the door for a few moments before she got herself together and went back to her chair. She took Harry's hand, but didn't speak, instead she thought about what Ginny had said, that she had guessed about the cheating, that she had understood.
Yet Ron hadn't. Ron, who had always (well, nearly) been there had now turned his back. He hadn't understood and in a way, that disappointed Hermione. She trusted Ron, loved Ron and although she knows she and Harry had betrayed him, he was now betraying them.
She sat in quiet reflection for quite a while, her thoughts lost on what if's and maybe's. When a group of the mediwitches and Healers came in with her dinner and to say good-bye, she finally moved on. It was end of shift for most of the people she had befriended over the three years and many of them stayed, talking to her about her plans and giving her travelling tips.
The conversation soon moved onto the stories that had been previously shared, stories of the good times with Harry and Ron. Hermione didn't mind reminiscing with the girls of St Mungo's, as it was with laughter and smiles where with Ron it was with sadness.
It was late evening before she was once more alone with Harry, but sleep was the furthest thing from her mind. She carried on talking to him, remembering times from their past with fondness. Debate on whether she was doing the right thing hit her in the early hours of the morning as the realisation that there was a good chance she'd never see him again became overwhelming.
However, she held her ground and when it was time to leave, an hour before dawn, she did with a parting kiss and only a few tears.