Chapter 10: Recollections
December 23rd
The entire room was silent as Harry finished. The only sounds that could be heard was the fire crackling in its hearth and the heavy breathing of Ginny and Mrs. Weasley, who were both silently crying.
"Ramses was a companion to me despite all the things he did," Harry said solemnly. "He taught me a lot and did indeed redeem himself, becoming a martyr for the cause against Voldemort. It took everything within me, but once I was able, I took what useful items he had in all of those pockets of his that weren't ripped by Greyback, and I buried him on the grounds where we were hiding."
A few seconds after Harry had said that, there was a thunderous bang and then loud footsteps coming through the Black manor hallways. The doors to where they were gathered burst open and Hagrid came through.
"Harry!" he boomed, a great big smile on his face and tears in his eyes and down his face. "Harry, yur home! Oh bless me! I knew yeh was alive!" The half-giant rushed up to Harry and gathered him up in a hug that nearly crushed him, but Harry didn't mind. He was glad he was continuing to see all of his friends again.
"Yes, I'm home Hagrid. It isn't Christmas without you!" he said, looking up at him with a smile on his face.
"We have all been so worried about yeh. But I knew - I knew you were out doin' what you had ter do. Professor Dumbledore even said it too. He said he was afraid of dyin' because he didn't know if yeh were ready fer what he knew you would have to go an' do. I didn' know what he meant at the time, but now look at yeh! Yur lookin' alright and we're winnin' the war! I'd bet a dragon egg it's you that's got You-Know-Who on the run ain't it?"
"I've done my part," Harry said smirking. "But, we're in this together and I forgot that. I'm sorry Hagrid. I apologize to all of you."
"Harry was just recounting his story, Rubeus," Mrs. Weasley said warmly. "Join us." Hagrid nodded and took a seat on a nearby couch that groaned under his weight.
"After Ramses died, I was having a hard time coping with things for a while," Harry sat down in his chair and continued. "Eventually I forced myself to move on and Worthwhile and I began our search for the next horcrux. It's going to be more difficult because Voldemort now knows I am a threat and that he has little left of his soul, but we had to continue, for Ramses' sake as well as everyone else's." Worthwhile nodded in agreement.
"We'll do it Harry," Ron said confidently. "The Order of the Phoenix is still strong - we can bring Voldemort down! My brothers, my sister, Hermione and I have all been formerly inducted and we know you want to be part of the Order too."
"And perhaps..." Hermione said hesitantly. "Lead it?"
All eyes were focused on Harry as Hermione's suggestion lingered in the air, but Harry turned to Ron. "You said Voldemort's name."
"Did I?" Ron said blankly. He then put on a funny little half-smile. "Well, why not? I'm not afraid of him anymore."
"Well, I am glad, because I will need everyone in this fight. I am just not strong enough to do it on my own...I don't know if I would even be strong enough to help lead you all, even though I know many of you expect some sort of leadership from me, especially now. Seeing so many people I care about die is starting to push me to the brink of a part of myself I just don't want to see. Beauregard was a tremendous asset in the fight against Voldemort and yet again, the course has taken another valuable soul."
Harry shut his eyes hard - the aftermath of Beauregard's death was so miserable, he hated remembering.
* * *
September 23rd
Harry sat on the edge of the roof of the rundown depot he was hiding in. The place was off a deserted road and had been a perfect find for Harry and Beauregard as they had been searching for a place to set up their own little Order. There were metal beams and workers tables and barrels of oil stored throughout the dilapidated facilities, making it look like a construction site.
Harry wasn't thinking about that, however. He was sitting with his legs depressingly limp over the third story thinking of Ramses - thinking of how he let him down... let him die.
"What am I doing, Worthwhile?" Harry said quietly. "How can I live with this?"
"Master, you can not possibly blame yourself!" Worthwhile answered consolingly.
"Why not? Why can't I? I could have been a bit faster! I could have gotten that cup a little bit quicker!"
"No, Master... you couldn't have. You destroyed that horcrux in world record time and now we are closer to our goal - the goal the three of us had been working so hard on. We knew this might be a possibility... don't blame yourself and lose sight of that goal - the goal Ramses told us with his last dying words he wanted us to finish."
Harry rubbed his eyes in frustration and sadness and then looked out into the horizon. He was facing the setting sun and it was just beginning to die into the Western landscape. He looked down at the small white makeshift cross sticking up out of the ground below him. Worthwhile was right, Harry thought. I must move on, but there's so much going against me now. Ramses had so much knowledge of Voldemort and his horcruxes. What I'm most worried about is my own courage, though.
"When we were in the cave going after the horcrux in the necklace, Dumbledore had been severely weakened, but when I had told him everything would be okay, he said he knew he was safe because he was with me."
"Those are inspiring words," Worthwhile hissed softly.
"My bravery increased tenfold when I heard them, but I am having such a difficult time believing them, my friend. Everyone I know dies."
"Harry..." Worthwhile slithered his head out to where he was face to face with him. "You are not the cause of this and you never will be. Ramses made the decision to fight Voldemort as we all have, and they die because Voldemort is a great and devastating enemy. You are alive when others are dead because you yourself are a great wizard - one more powerful than Ramses, Sirius, or even your father. You have not been able to save some of your companions, it is true...but you have saved so many others from Voldemort's grasp and it is because you really are `the Chosen One.' I would put my trust in you any day and know that if I were in trouble, you would be the one I could look to."
Harry nodded his head. "Thanks, but this will all take some time." He took his staff and concentrated on the Patronus charm. He was having a hard time mustering happy thoughts. He finally got it and the shining stag erupted from the orb and settled next to him. Its presence was actually soothing, but Harry had no time to dwell in it.
"Take this message to Headmistress McGonagall: There is a passageway that leads from Honeyduke's cellar to a tunnel found under the one-eyed witch on the grounds. The password is dissendium. Voldemort knows of its presence and it must be blocked." The stag instantly flew through the sky to the ground and rode at breakneck speed towards the school.
"Now," Worthwhile spoke up. "Our next target is the last of Voldemort's magic items right? His last two are in himself and in Nagini. What was our take on which one he might have been able to get?"
* * *
September 18th
"I am guessing the best place to begin looking is the shelter Voldemort took up when he was defeated by you sixteen years ago." Beauregard said, looking at some of the research he had drummed up from the Edifice. He was sitting on an oil drum in the middle of the main room they had set up camp in the junk building they had found. Papers and various books were spread out on the table in front of them. Worthwhile was looking on from Harry's shoulders and using his tail to hold up a large lantern.
"Well Albania is not known to be a friendly place, plus I don't think the Ministry ever really knew where he was located," Harry said, rubbing his chin.
"We will have to find it. If Voldemort knew of it before he was defeated by you, it might have some importance."
Suddenly, a loud screaming noise, like a Muggle police siren, echoed through the building's metal skeleton and Harry quickly went to the edge of the wall-less edge and looked around, taking the lamp and shining it out into the darkness.
"What is that noise?" Beauregard asked, looking rather annoyed.
"It's an alarm I set up in case anyone approaches," Harry said, his and Worthwhile's eyes still scanning the darkness below.
"There!" Worthwhile pointed with his tail. "It's a fox."
"Bah, I guess I have some kinks to work out. Nothing to worry about Ramses - it was just a fox."
"You got a Muggle alarm system?" Beauregard asked, his eyebrow raised.
"No, it's a new spell I learned from Dumbledore's tome - the Spell of Dependency. One magic affects the other. I put a circular barrier around the building that will intercept any intruders and then the dependency spell kicks in. I performed a simple noise charm that depends on the barrier. If the barrier is crossed, the noise charm will activate. I think it's pretty useful. I just need to rework the barrier to only identify wizards."
"Well, I will help you, because we should also put a Muggle-repelling charm in the barrier as well...otherwise that thing could go off all the time, but you are right - that is pretty useful. What is the incantation?"
"Occipio -- and then perform the dependent spell. If it isn't compatible, the spell will fizz. If it works, then nothing happens and you test it."
"I will keep it in mind." He pulled his hat down and walked back towards the table. "Those books you have are going to give you an advantage anywhere you go, but I still have a few tricks up my sleeve that will help us." He pulled out a small charm from one of the many pockets on his coat. It was metallic-looking with a blue bar attached to its smooth round surface. "See this? I got this from my father and have kept it with me wherever I go. This little trinket can destroy any barrier set up by magic. From what we know of Voldemort and how he likes to protect things, he will use a barrier of powerful magic to protect his horcrux. The downside is you have to place it just right and let it do its thing. If you are touching this as it starts to work... well let's not think about it."
"Wow," Harry said, examining the small item in Beauregard's outstretched hand. "Where did your dad get it? I've never even heard of such a thing and I would be really surprised had I not seen what I have in the past few months."
"My father was a traveler like myself before he settled down. He loved history as I said before. He would visit every magical place that existed, looking for history and artifacts. He loved the Edifice so much that he moved our family there. As you probably guessed, I am not Bulgarian."
"You look like a pirate to me. All you need is an eye patch and a pegged leg."
Harry had to duck to avoid the backhand.
"Yeah, alright," Beauregard said with a sly scowl on his face. "Spend some time at sea and find out what happens to you."
"Fair enough; so you must have a ton of great stuff in that jacket of yours. That along with those little golden animal charms is probably only a little bit of what you have in all those pouches. What else do you have tucked away for just such an occasion?"
"Let's just say my jacket is more valuable than it looks, but I like to keep my secrets." Harry's face fell in mock disappointment. "At the same time, though, I need to ask you a serious favor."
Harry's face straightened and he became serious. "What is it?"
"Harry, if I am ever injured beyond care or if I even appear dead... take my jacket and anything else of use for your quest and leave me."
"What?" Harry said incredulously. "I could never just leave you, besides I could apparate you to St. Mungo's instantly; they can fix anything."
"That's the point," Beauregard countered in a deep, dark voice. "I can never go to a hospital or any other public place freely. I am a wanted man - anywhere I end up where I would be under a ministry's control, I would be a dead man. They would have dementors on me before anyone could even utter the word `trial.'"
"I-I don't know what to say. I want to say I don't believe you, but I've seen how the Ministry of Magic here works. Kiss first, ask questions later; but I thought dementors weren't used anymore?"
"They don't use them to guard Azkaban, but they are still used. As long as the Ministry allows them to feed on the souls of the living, the dementors don't play favorites. So, please, you must leave me and save yourself should the situation ever arise. Unfortunately, to win this war, we are going to need the Ministry's help in the end."
"Why? We've been doing fine on our own."
"Destroying even one more horcrux will make Voldemort completely wise to what is happening. He will hide and protect them with everything he has. The Ministry has a tool of great worth, but they don't know of its value, nor do they know how to use it. I have the other half of this key to its unlocking - a key I will give to you in good time so you can take it to the Minister of Magic. In the meantime, you absolutely must think about yourself. You are more valuable than anyone else fighting this fight, especially an old seadog like me."
"Oh come on. I would not be here had it not been for you and for that matter Dumbledore, Sirius, Hermione, Ron and his family. Maybe I'm starting to see what they say they have always been able to see, but I still need my friends. I wouldn't leave you."
"You consider me to be your friend?" Beauregard said, his eyes set on Harry.
"Well, yeah. I mean if you don't want me saying that, it's fine..."
"No, it's alright. Forgive me. I just haven't had a friend in a very long time. Sometimes, I feel like I've forgotten what it's like."
"Well, you've got one now," Harry said smiling, putting his hand on his broad shoulder. "You can be like a fifth dad to me!"
"Cor kid, I ain't that old." Beauregard instantly reverted back to his old self with his old grimace. "Now, back to our preparations. According to Edifice scholars, there are currently six items that have gone missing from recorded wizarding antiquity that were owned by any of the four founders of Hogwarts: Helga Hufflepuff's cup, Rowena Ravenclaw's wand and her crystal dagger, and Salazar Slytherin's ring, silver cauldron and his wife's locket. Only one item is known to exist that belonged to Godric Gryffindor. We know the sword is safe and that the ring and locket are free of horcruxes. Hufflepuff's cup is a probable choice for one of Voldemort's hiding places, so that leaves three items we could speculate Voldemort might have come across."
"A wand, a dagger, or a cauldron," Harry said, thinking hard and trying to figure out what the most Voldemort-like treasure would be to store his horcrux. He yawned and suddenly felt very tired. "Well, we will have to adjust as we continue to search. We must head out for Albania as soon as possible."
"I agree," Beauregard nodded. "Let's turn in. I will wake you at first light."
"Alright friend. Goodnight."
"Goodnight..." Beauregard said softly as Harry walked sleepily off to his sleeping arrangement in a nearby room. "...friend."
* * *
September 23rd
"I guess now we have to start thinking about our next target and those three relics," Harry said, sighing a sad sigh. "It's going to be so difficult without Ramses - I don't know, maybe I'm just trying to depress myself enough into thinking going back to the Order is a good idea."
"Is it working?"
"Absolutely not. I understand what you are saying about the war, but I can't let Ron and Hermione get in any danger." Harry pulled out Hermione's letter that he always kept with him and read it once more. He had found when he felt completely lonely, as he often did, her letter helped most.
"Somehow I don't think that's possible to stop," Worthwhile said after a pause.
A familiar humming in Harry's small traveling bag broke their interest in the conversation. Harry pulled out his mirror as Worthwhile nodded and slithered down Harry's body and off to the worktable in order to give him privacy. Hermione and Ron's faces appeared and Harry somehow managed a grin, although he was sure they would see right through it.
"Harry!" Ron said.
"Hey..." Harry dropped the smile. He couldn't do it. He was sadder than he had ever been in his life, not just because another of his friends had been murdered, but because he had desperately wished he could save the next friend who would inevitably get in danger because of him... and he had failed.
"Harry you look like you've been run over by a hippogriff! Where are you?"
"I'm... at my hideout. How are you two? Is everything okay?"
"No!" Ron shouted with a worried look on his face. "Everything is not okay. We need you here Harry. The world is struggling without you! Can't you see? No one knows where you are and it's killing Hermione and me not to be able to tell anyone where you are, because we don't know ourselves! I mean I know you never said we couldn't tell people we were able to contact you, but still..."
"Well, I'm glad to see you are still yourself Ron."
"No jokes this time mate. You seriously look awful. Come home. We all need you. You have no idea how much."
Harry didn't know how or why it happened, but he just suddenly began to cry. He couldn't help it. Silent convulsions ran through his body and he turned the mirror away, but they had seen. He just cried and cried - tears had ran in the last year, which was by far the worst he had ever had, but he had never really truly cried before; however, now he couldn't help it. All the sorrow that had built up in his heart was capped with Ramses' death and overflowed. He felt cold inside and miserable - he could feel Voldemort slowly taking a grip of his soul and squeezing.
It took everything to control himself and regain his composure. Amidst Ron's shouts, Harry wiped his eyes and turned Sirius' mirror back to face them.
"Harry... you can't pretend anymore! You need us! Why are you doing this? Talk to us!"
"That's just it Ron. I do need you. I can't let you die. I just can't. I hate him. I hate him so much!" Harry's sadness turned to purple rage that welled within him. However, his ire was slightly stemmed by a sudden cloud of smoke that shot up in front of Ron's face and enveloped the mirror.
"Hermione, what in Great Aunt Bessy's name are you doing?" Harry heard Ron shout.
"Sorry! Sorry Ron, I spilled... something. I'll clear it up!"
The air on their side was indeed cleared and their faces appeared in the mirror once more. Ron's face was covered in grey ash and he didn't look happy. Harry almost managed a smile.
"Listen guys, I will talk to you soon, but I'm beyond tired. I will be... okay. I just need more time. I have to go," and before they could protest, he put his mirror in his traveling satchel. Putting his head to his forehead, Harry stopped thinking and rested his weary eyes.
* * *
December 23rd
A more light-hearted request snapped Harry out of his trip down the road of dark memories he wished he could forget.
"Alright Harry," Fred said with an eager look in his eyes. "You must have gotten a lot of great stuff on your little trip, like that staff. Start pulling out your goodies!"
Harry told everyone about how He, Ron, and Hermione had met Ramses Beauregard and what he had told them about Slytherin and his great magic. The Weasley family was shocked that they had not been told the truth about the inferi incident in Hogsmeade and why they were really there, especially from Ron, but they were silent as Harry continued. "That's basically how I ended up with my staff, as I already mentioned before."
"What about the necklace?" George asked excitedly. Everyone in the room was enjoying Harry's tales and he was enjoying telling them.
"This?" Harry said, picking up the golden amulet hanging around his neck. "I don't know what it is actually. I got it from an old woman I helped in the Edifice."
"What's that strange language on the edges?" Ginny asked, her nose scrunched.
"I don't know. I thought it might be snake language, because of the snake in the middle, but Worthwhile couldn't read it. I have no idea what it is, but the woman said it would give me good luck, so I've worn it ever since."
"What did you do to help her?" Mr. Weasley asked.
* * *
August 5th
Harry and Beauregard were once again standing in the Edifice's market areas, getting supplies before they went back to England. After Harry had left Slytherin and passed through the barrier to where Beauregard and Worthwhile were waiting, they had gone back to the Edifice and done research in its great library to find any other information they might be able to get their hands on about horcruxes. Now, it was time to leave - they didn't want to be in the same place for too long until they had found a suitable base for their operations.
Walking among the various vendors, they turned a corner and found themselves on a deserted street. Beauregard stopped and motioned for Harry to do the same, looking down the deserted road.
Beauregard had marveled at Harry's story of his encounter with Salazar Slytherin, but he still took a forceful command of the things they were doing, which Harry didn't mind. He was just glad Beauregard didn't resent Harry for having the orb in his own possession; however, he was a bit gruffer than usual and Harry suspected it was because he was weary. He hadn't shaved for a while and his rough sideburns were even wilder than ever, but his focus was still strong and Harry never failed to be impressed at his leadership abilities.
"Something's wrong," Beauregard said after a moment of silence. "We should turn back."
"What is it?" Harry said raising his staff. Worthwhile beginning flicking his tongue to pick up a scent on the air that didn't register but he didn't get anything.
"I don't know. I sense a presence. A presence I haven't felt in a long time."
"A presence? What kind of presence?"
"An evil one."
Suddenly, there was a scream from the end of the street, and Harry rushed towards it, despite protests from Beauregard. After running for a few moments, Harry came across two filthy looking wizards in black robes who seemed to be harassing an old witch. Harry shouted and ran towards them, staff raised, but the two muggers made a run for it and the old woman fell to the ground. He came to her side and took her arm.
"Mam, are you alright?" he said, kneeling down.
"Oh... Oh I think I'm okay," she said, looking up at Harry with an appreciative glance as Beauregard caught up to them. The woman was along in her years and her face showed it. She had gray, thinning hair and a large mole on her nose. Harry thought she looked very much like the depiction of witches that muggles had in their storybooks. "Just let me catch my breath."
"Why were those wizards attacking you?" Harry asked, helping pick her up off the ground.
"Oh this is a bad street full of evil men. I had lost my way and wandered down here and before you know it, I'm being robbed!" she said with a smile on her face. She apparently was used to being attacked.
"The streets are marked. Are you a visitor to this city?" Beauregard asked. His eyes were narrow and he was looking at the woman suspiciously. When the woman looked up at him, her eyes widened for a second, before she chuckled.
"Oh, no no. I'm living here in the Edifice, but my mind wanders as much as I do these days, I suppose. Well, well, where are my manners. I must thank you two nice young boys for helping me!" She patted her worn robes for a second, before reaching into one of her pockets. "Ah here it is. Here..." she pulled out a round golden amulet that had a snake embossed on it and offered it to Harry. "Take this. It will give you good luck. It's the least I can do."
"Thank you," Harry said, reaching to take it.
"Harry, don't," Beauregard said quickly. Harry turned to look at him. Beauregard clearly didn't trust the woman although Harry didn't have any idea why. Before he could make up his mind, however, the old woman had pushed the medallion into Harry's hand.
"Now, now, it's just a good luck charm. See? No harm in it. You will see... Well, then, I have to be on my way. You two keep after yourselves and get off this street before more mischief finds you!" And with that, the mysterious old woman apparated with a quick pop and disappeared, Harry still holding the strange present of hers.
"What was that about?" Harry said angrily. "We just helped that woman escape attackers!"
"There's more to her. I sensed something about her I haven't felt in a while: pure evil - I used to feel it around wizards like Voldemort, or one his most loyal servants such as Bellatrix, Lucius, or Fenrir. You should throw that away."
Harry examined the necklace. The talisman was shiny and had a snake in the middle with some kind of language on the edges.
"Worthwhile, what does it say?" Harry said holding it up for him. The snake took one look at it and shook his head.
"That's not snake language. I don't recognize any of those symbols."
Harry put it around his neck and started walking again. "Ramses, Lucius Malfoy is in prison and we've not heard a peep from Greyback or Bellatrix in a long time. You're too suspicious."
"Perhaps."
* * *
December 23rd
"And I've been wearing it ever since."
"Well, Voldemort probably would have just attacked you," Ron speculated. "And Bellatrix Lestrange and Fenrir Greyback are dead, so do you think that old lady could have been Lucius Malfoy in disguise? Well I guess that doesn't make sense, because he's in Azkaban." He began talking more to himself.
"Wait, hang on. Bellatrix Lestrange is dead?" Harry asked shocked.
"Yeah!" Ginny said excitedly. "Have you not heard the news? She was found dead on a dirt road in a nearby wood. Muggles found her and couldn't identify how she died, but wizards knew - it was the Killing Curse. A lot of people have been saying you did it! I guess... that means... you didn't, but still, one by one You-Know-Who's followers are dropping dead. We really are winning this war!"
"Wow," Harry said perplexed. "I don't know what to say to that. On one hand, I'm glad she's finally out of our way. On the other, I'm a little disappointed I couldn't get my own revenge on Sirius' behalf. I guess I shouldn't be thinking those things, but I really hated that woman."
"So you heard about Greyback then?" Lupin quietly asked.
Harry looked at his old Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor. Standing up, and going over to him, he put a hand on his shoulder.
"Remus, I am the one who killed him."
Everyone started whispering as Lupin's eyes widened at Harry's confession. After a few moments, Remus put his own hand on Harry's own shoulder, pulled him in and hugged him.
"Harry what a burden to place on your shoulders," Lupin said, struggling to keep his composure as he held onto him. "I hate to think of what your father and mother would have felt knowing you killed another human being."
"Sadly, I fear that same thought," Harry said quietly as they parted. "I have had to defend myself from many people - more than any of you besides Ron and Hermione might know - but Greyback I killed, and another time, for a moment, I thought I had killed Voldemort... it's been a hard thing to face. The day after Beauregard died, I was so depressed, I was on edge and wanted nothing more than to kill Greyback. He had harmed so many people in my life, including you. I could barely hold myself together the day after Ramses died."
"That was the day we talked to you wasn't it?" Ron asked. Harry nodded.
"Oh!" Hermione exclaimed quietly. "You were so sad. Oh Harry, I wish I could have been there for you."
"You were," Harry said with the smallest of smiles. "You both were with me the whole time. I wish you only knew how much I thought of you. I left for you and I've returned for you."
"You talked to Harry while he was gone?" Ginny stood up, glaring at Ron and Hermione. "How could you have not told anyone you met with him?"
"Ginny it's not like that!" Ron said exasperated. "Harry gave us a mirror that let us reach him by his own mirror. Sirius gave it to him!"
"Well, you still could have let others talk to him!" Ginny shouted, tears streaming down her eyes.
"Ginny forgive me," Harry said quietly, sympathy in his voice. "I gave the mirror to them so they could reach me, but I left so no one could find me. I went out to do everything on my own."
"Harry, no one is able to completely hide himself from the world," Mr. Weasley spoke up. "Even You-Know-Who, when he was holed up in that little Albanian house was close to being found by the Ministry. You should have let the Order continue to protect you."
"The Order was beginning to suffocate me. That was the problem, and I actually am much harder to detect than anyone here might think."
"Is that so?" Hermione said quietly, looking down at the floor she was sitting on.
Harry smiled once again and shook his head. "I'm almost undetectable. Hermione has showed me it's a big almost."
"What do you mean dear?" Mrs. Weasley asked.
Harry told the people in the room of finding Salazar's magic book - a fact he had omitted from his story of meeting Worthwhile. "A spell in Slytherin's tome has allowed me to become undetectable by any magical means. That is how I defeated Voldemort in the battle of our minds in Albania. I performed it on myself the night I left."
"I knew there was something fishy about your little soar throat story!" Ginny said slightly indignant. "Skrewt stinger indeed!"
"I knew you caught that," Harry said,chuckling.
"Harry!" Mad-Eye finally spoke up after having listened patiently the entire time. He looked irritated. "That is a protection that could have seriously helped the Order! Why didn't you leave the spell for us?"
"I've actually thought about that Professor... er... Alastor. However, I was practicing magic that could have had power beyond anyone's capabilities, and I include myself in that boat. I left, not thinking of many implications and it was foolish, but now that I am much more aware of Slytherin's book, I think now would be a good time for everyone to be protected under the spell; however, I don't think it's a spell for anyone outside of the Order. It's very dangerous and could lead the world into chaos."
"Mmm..." he growled thoughtfully. "I see your point."
"Anyways, the spell had been working perfectly and I was using it to my advantage, but Hermione showed me it has a few kinks."
"How so?" Lupin asked.
"Hermione!" Harry said surprised. "You never told them why you were in the hospital?"
There was a collective "NO!" from everyone in the room except for Ron. Hermione looked slightly ashamed - she had hidden it from everyone. She looked up at Harry and nodded slightly, giving him her approval to tell the story.
"What did she do, Harry?" Ginny asked apprehensively.
"She found me."
* * *
November 30th
Harry sat down exhausted. He had been out searching for anything to help him find the remaining horcruxes, but once again he came up short, as he had for many weeks. He was beginning to make a few underground contacts, but he was careful in allowing anyone to know what he was doing. He stretched his legs out over the building where a wall used to be on the third floor facing the west - it was his favorite spot to sit and talk with Worthwhile or just think. He pulled out a book from his bag and began to read where he left off.
"I can't believe I never took the time to read this. Hermione was right... Hogwarts, a History is fascinating."
"Well maybe one day, a revised edition will have your name in it, Master Harry," Worthwhile said from Harry's shoulder. "I'm going to go seek out that burrow in the woods I found to take a nice snooze. It's too cold these days. You should try getting some sleep too."
"Are you ever going to just call me Harry? You've maybe said my regular name about twice in the time we've known each other."
Harry sighed as Worthwhile slithered off. After a few minutes, he began to start from where he left off, when there was a creak behind him. He turned quickly in surprise and what he saw made his jaw drop to the floor.
It was Hermione.
She was standing only ten feet away from him, holding Sirius' mirror in one hand and her wand in another. Her hair was frizzier than ever and her face was flush from the cold, but she was the most welcome, as well as the most frightening sight Harry had seen in a long time.
"H-How... how did you find me?" Harry said, standing up. "That's just not possible!"
"Harry.....Harry....." she said, her lower lip quivering
She ran at him and nearly knocked him over. She put her arms around him in a vice-like grip and started to cry into his chest. Harry took her in, even though he was beginning to have problems breathing and they stood for a long while just holding on. Hermione cried for quite a while but Harry didn't really mind. His mind was burning with questions, though. How did she find him? If she was able to, then could it be possible for someone else? Or did she just happen to spot him somehow and follow him? Even if she had somehow randomly come across his path and followed him, how did she get past his magical barricade?
She finally parted from Harry, but she couldn't help but continue to cry. She stood in front of him still holding the mirror and hugging her arms, looking forlorn. Harry instantly realized his friend he had longed to see for so long was standing right in front of him.
"Hermione..." He took her into his arms once more but with much more earnest. He gently took her head into his hand and held it close to his chest as she began to calm down. "I don't know how you did it, but I am so glad to see you."
"Harry, it took everything in me but I did it," Hermione said, parting from him and wiping her eyes.
"Sit down and talk to me," Harry said caringly, sitting down on the ledge of the room and inviting Hermione down with his hand.
Hermione joined him and he put his arm around her and let her take her time. She took a few calm breaths and then began.
"After I spotted you at Bill and Fleur's wedding, I became determined to find you. I was frustrated, at first, after getting absolutely nothing, even with help from people who had Ministry ties like Mr. Weasley. Logically, you must have had some kind of spell protecting you, so I had to think outside the box. Once we arrived at Hogwarts, I had many more resources at my disposal, but after many unsuccessful attempts, I felt farther from you than ever. I never gave up though - I couldn't. I would have nightmares about you dying and I couldn't do anything about it - I couldn't help you."
Harry sat in wonder. He always had the same dreams about her and Ron. He never thought that Hermione would wish she could be there for him... to save him from danger.
"I guess it just came to me one day," she continued. "Ron and I were talking about the mirror, thinking maybe we should try to get through to you again and it hit me. The mirrors were a connection between us! I was in the library all night and I finally found it - a spell that could track a communication between two wizards, sort of like how people track owls. I used it the next day when it was ready. We got through and I performed the spell. It took a couple months to figure out how to use the spell effectively after that, but here I am." Hermione looked up into Harry's eyes and smiled.
"That burst of smoke! No wonder you weren't saying anything that day! Your spell doesn't track me but an item I keep with me, and I know exactly what the item is for so it's valid. I never would have thought of that." Harry put his hand to his forehead in amazement as he chuckled. "I can't believe you found me. You know, you really are too bloody smart for your own good. I've been in hiding for months now without anyone knowing where I was."
"Hogwarts just wasn't the same without you Harry. No matter what magic comes between us, I have to believe our bond is stronger."
"I miss Hogwarts, I admit. It's my home," Harry said, his head down. "It's the first place I've felt safe. You and Ron were my first friends. Wait a minute..." he turned to Hermione with a puzzled look. "How did you even get in here without crossing the barrier I placed?"
"Um Harry?" Hermione had a guilty look on her face.
"What?"
"It... uh... wasn't a very well-performed spell."
"Huh..." Harry looked thoughtful. He then smiled. "Well, I guess that's something I will have to work on."
"You mean you're not mad at me?" Hermione asked in a small voice.
"Mad at you? How could I be? I have missed you so much. Come here." Harry pulled Hermione in tighter and she put an arm around his back. She placed her head on his shoulder as they gazed at the fading English sunset.
"Do you remember our fourth year when Ron and I had that big row?" Hermione nodded into the crook of his neck. "I was just about sick of my life at that point and I was about to start another crummy day when you appeared. You had toast in your hands and a willing ear. We walked by the lake and you just listened to me as I got everything I had been keeping to myself off my chest."
"I remember that day," Hermione said wistfully. "You were so angry and it was such a perfect day. I remember thinking you two boys were so stupid. I also was sad because I hated seeing you so upset. You had so little and what you had was being stripped away from you. I wanted to hug you and tell you everything was alright."
"But I got through it. You saved me that day. I don't know if you know it, Hermione, but without you and Ron, I would never be where I am today."
"You mean out of our lives?"
Harry paused. He knew Hermione had to have some bitter feelings about his leaving them, but she was not wrong to be mad.
"Hermione I'm sorry. I wasn't even protecting you. I was protecting myself... protecting myself from losing my two best friends to the man that has taken away so much from me. I have those same dreams you do - ones where you're dying and I can't protect you. I was protecting my life more than anything... I was protecting this. After Hogsmeade, I left because it just couldn't happen again."
He then pulled out Hermione's letter that he always kept near his heart. She gasped when he showed it to her.
"I thought I threw that away!" Hermione said, blushing.
"You did. I found it and have kept it ever since. I've read it more times than I can count. You have kept me going Hermione."
Hermione sighed as if she were finally able to rest easy for the first time in ages. She leaned closer into Harry and breathed deeply. Her eyes looked out over the grounds and they fell on what looked like a grave.
"Harry, what is that?" she asked solemnly, pointing to the white cross in the ground.
Harry's contented look gave way to the dark green stare she had known all too well before he left. He looked away and she gasped a little.
"Oh Harry... who?"
"Ramses," he answered her quietly.
"Oh no..." she put her hand to her mouth and looked up into Harry's eyes. "I'm so sorry... you became close didn't you?"
He looked at her with a very sad look on his face and nodded. "We had gotten to know each other in the short time we had and it was with his help that I found another horcrux and destroyed it. He was a friend and he was killed by one of Voldemort's followers. I have had a lot of time to reflect on his passing and what it means to me. I refuse to give up, Hermione. I am going to find Voldemort and kill him...end this once and for all. I have become almost numb in my heart, but if I were to lose you or Ron, it would die completely."
"Harry I can't help but wish I could bear some of your burden, but I know it's yours to face. Let me help you, though! I know I could be useful to you. We were always such a good team you and I...and Ron of course."
"You didn't need to correct yourself. You, Ron and I were a great team, but you and I were a great team too, especially when Ron was being...well...Ron. Sometimes we were even better."
"The best you mean," Hermione smiled at him and seemed like she was searching for the courage to say something. Her eyes fell on Hogwarts, a History.
"Oh! You're reading it?" she said excitedly pointing at it.
"Yeah," Harry said laughing. "It's quite good, but I'm pretty sure I knew everything I've read so far, thanks to you."
"Speaking of Hogwarts," she said smirking. "It's going to be a rough year. Ron has been going crazy since he found out you were supposed to be Head Boy with him and now he has all your duties."
"Hermione..." something suddenly hit Harry. "Why isn't Ron here? Didn't you tell him?"
"Oh... I..." she suddenly looked very sheepish. "Oh hang it! I know it was selfish, but I'm the one who figured it out wasn't I?"
"Well, well, well!" Harry said teasingly. "I don't think I've ever seen such an un-Hermione-like move in all my life. You realize Ron will never let you hear the end of it? I mean you're his girlfriend!"
"Oh... yeah...." Hermione said looking away. "About that..."
"What is it?" Harry said, becoming serious.
"Harry, I have something I need to tell you, something that has haunted me because I didn't know if I would ever have another chance to tell you..."
"I'm right here. What is it Hermione?"
"I -" she was about to respond, but there was a loud bang from the ground on the other side of the building. Harry got up quickly, grabbed his staff and ran to the edge. His eyes widened when he spotted Fenrir Greyback tipping over a drum of oil, spilling its contents everywhere. Even from the third floor, Harry could smell all of the oil Greyback had been spilling while he was talking to Hermione.
"Harry what is it?" Hermione asked from across the way.
Greyback looked up at Harry and smiled a villainous smile, before pulling out his wand and shooting a huge flame into the building.
"Oh no..." Harry turned to run to Hermione, but it happened in a moment. An explosion rocked the building and flame ripped through them. Harry was blown over the edge and was knocked almost senseless.
In his lightheadedness, he expected to hit the ground at any moment as he fell. Somehow, before his body reached the ground, however, the orb on the staff that was still in his tightly gripped hand began to glow.
He stopped. The orb was glowing a bright blue and Harry recovered and found himself alighting lightly to the ground. Once he landed safely, his eyes grew wide with horror and he turned to the demolished building.
"HERMIONE!"
He ran towards the wreckage but he was hit and thrown towards the ground. He was able to catch his balance before Greyback was able to attack him again and he held his staff in front of him. The enormous wolf-like man was laughing wickedly as they encircled each other, their eyes not leaving the gaze of the other's.
"So you managed to escape my little greeting did you?" he rasped in his coldest, most maniacal voice. "Well, I imagine I will have much more fun killing you with my own bare hands."
"You mean paws don't you?" Harry shot back. He was looking desperately around, but in the back of his mind, he knew Hermione was dead. He looked everywhere, but there was no sign. His heart was beating wildly. Please, no.
"What are you looking for?" he asked, toeing closer and closer. "She's dead boy. She helped lead me right to you - your tie to mudbloods has cost the witch her pathetic life and once I kill you, I'm going to find her...I'm going to find her and she will be nice and cooked, which will be a pleasant change for me."
Harry stood still in time. He closed his eyes -- he was no longer at the deserted building. There were no flames or trees or even sky. He was alone in front of a thousand graves. All of them bore names of those he loved: his parents, Sirius, Dumbledore, Hagrid, Remus, Ron, Hermione, Ginny. They were all dead and he was there, alone. All he had... was hatred.
He opened his eyes and looked at Greyback with a loathsome glare, one of utter impunity. He had tortured Lupin, helped kill Dumbledore, and he had killed Ramses. Now he had murdered the one he loved most in the world. Harry slammed his staff into the ground, took off his bag and left them, walking straight towards the wolf who was about to die. He took the small vile Flume had given him out of his pocket, uncorked it, and downed it in one gulp.
He stopped a foot from his enemy and looked at him with a smile. It wasn't one of evil or lightheartedness... it was a smile of utterly bemused confidence mixed with raw fury. Harry was going to rip the animal limb from limb. Greyback leaped and brought Harry down with him to the ground, clawing at his body, but they were mere scratches - the potion had made Harry's skin as tough as iron. Harry kicked him off and leaped on him, swinging blow after blow to his face. Greyback got out from Harry's tackle and tried to swing around but Harry came after him; Greyback dodged and weaved from Harry's vicious onslaught, avoiding most of Harry's attacks, but getting more and more tired as it went on - Harry was unrelenting. Greyback's attacks on Harry did nothing and his eyes grew rabidly terrified when he realized it. Each time he tried to escape, Harry would cut him off - he was a demon...there was no escape for his adversary.
All the hatred Harry had been storing for Voldemort was suddenly let loose - the floodgates were set free and his animosity knew no bounds. Tears ran down his eyes in intense rage as he began yelling with every punch and kick he laid on Greyback, most of which were beginning to connect. Without so much as a scratch, he finally felled Greyback, who was bleeding from his mouth and breathing heavily. Harry tackled him and threw punch after punch to the wolf-man's head. Every pain inflicted, every death incurred, every hope shattered - all of it was thrown into the Greyback's face until Harry couldn't feel his knuckles, but he persisted.
Finally, he stopped, because he could do it no longer... he fell to the ground off of the Death Eater's ravaged body and got up quietly. His eyes were hazed over and his bloodied hands were limp. He walked to his staff, but he had to stop. She's gone.
A gurgling rasp issued from behind him and he turned to see Greyback standing with his wand pointed at him. He was a bloody pulp and he could barely see through the one eye that wasn't completely covered in blood, but he was still laughing.
"I should... have seen... that coming... but I still win Potter... ha ha!" He sputtered and coughed, but kept his one useable eye trained on Harry. "Never let your guard down."
"I agree," Harry responded calmly.
Greyback raised his wand, but suddenly howled in pain. Worthwhile was wrapped around Greyback's foot and biting him viciously. The wolf pointed his wand at the snake, trying to aim, but finding it difficult without much sight. Harry grabbed his staff and raised it with just a small pause of thought before dealing the blow.
"AVADA KEDAVRA!"
Silence.
Smoke issued from the staff that Harry held. He stood in shock silence... his eyes wide in terror, tears were streaming down his face. Worthwhile had detached himself from the dead Fenrir Greyback and was looking up at Harry with a mixture of pity and fear.
Harry had killed him. He had used the same curse that had killed his parents. He was a murderer.
Harry dropped the staff and sunk to his knees. "What have I done? Oh no, oh no!" He looked at his hands and was shivering from head to toe.
"Master..." Worthwhile said softly, coming up to Harry. "You saved my life. You... you had to do it."
Harry fell to the ground just so everything would stop. It has come to this. I kill, which I knew I would have to do, but it's not me. It's just not me. I couldn't possibly do that again, even to someone like Voldemort. I just can't do it.
"Master?" he heard again.
"I'm sorry my friend," Harry said, getting up and looking down at the python that had likewise, saved him. "I just don't know what to think right now. Thank you... for saving my life." The snake nodded and they stood for a few moments in silence, before it was broken by the softest of sounds.
Harry perked his ears a little and heard it again. He rounded the still-burning building as quickly as possible and looked around. Then, he spotted her. A dirty, bloody hand was poking through a dense patch of shrubs.
She's alive? It can't be! He ran to her and gasped in horror when he saw her. She was burnt on the entire left side of her body and covered in dirt and leaves, but she was breathing. Harry rushed to her side and gently, but quickly, pulled her out of the bushes.
"Hold on, Hermione! Hold on! I'll take care of you! I will not lose you! Just hold on!"
"H-Harr..." She collapsed in Harry's arms as he apparated to St. Mungo's
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