Coming Home
By: FayeValentine00
Hermione, Age 18
The war was over. The last Death Eater had been arrested nearly a week ago and life in the wizarding world seemed to be going back to normal. Then again, how did I even know what normal was? The whole time that Harry and I had been part of the wizarding community, Voldemort had been a threat. It wasn't until the fighting ended that I realized I didn't know what to do next. I didn't know how to move on because peace was all new to me and the same thing was true for Harry.
Harry handled it by taking a vacation and I wanted to do the same. I wanted Ron and I to just leave for a while. I wanted to start my life with him all over again and do the things that young lovers do. The problem was that Ron didn't feel the same way. He'd grown up in the wizarding community and knew what normal was. He wanted to go back to doing the things he done as a child and spend time with his family.
Please don't get me wrong. It wasn't like I didn't want him to see his family or that I didn't want him to spend time with them but I did want to be a little selfish. Just for a while, I wanted undivided attention from the man I loved. I didn't think that it was too much to ask but he simply couldn't understand why things just couldn't stay the same.
"Hermione, what good will going away do? We'll still end up back here anyway. It isn't going to change anything."
"You just don't get it, Ron." I answered tearfully. "I don't know who I am anymore. I am sick of being the smart girl or Ron and Harry's friend. I don't know how to be a witch without having some kind of evil to fight. When I was little, everything had seemed so simple but now it isn't and I just need to go until I realize how to find myself again."
"This is stupid. Everyone we know and love is here. Everyone here will help you adjust. You know my family loves you and as soon as Harry comes home it will be like old times," he said trying to reach out to me but I backed away and looked Ron dead in the eye.
"You just don't get it, do you? I don't want it to be like 'old times.' It will never be like 'old times.' You grew up around wizards. I didn't. All I know these days is survival. Harry feels the same way. That's why he left and you know it. You supported him. Why can't you support me the same way. I love you, Ron. I want to be with you."
"Then don't go," Ron said. His expression was hard to read but my decision was made. Right or wrong, I had to leave. With or without the man I loved.
"I have to go, Ron. I hope you'll come with me."
Our eyes met and we stood in silence for a long time but I knew his answer from the start. "I can't, Hermione. My family needs me here.'
"Dammit, Ron. I need you."
"I'm sorry."
That night I left without a goodbye to anyone. I didn't even say goodbye to my parents. I felt like my life was over. It wasn't until years later that I realized that it was just beginning.
Hermione, Age 24
Almost six years to the day from leaving England, I find myself back again. I'm back to where I once had been but no where near that same girl I'd been when I left. I'd learned some very important lessons while I was away and I didn't know if I belonged anywhere anymore... especially here.
Tonight would be the biggest leap of faith I had taken in years and if this didn't work out, I would be completely out of luck. I think there is only one person in the world I still trust but I hadn't spoken to him in years. I'd never answered any of his owls no matter how much Hedwig tortured me and only now do I realize how stupid that had been.
Now I am standing on the doorstep of Harry Potter's door carrying more baggage than he could ever have imagined. I knocked on the door solidly and waited for an answer, praying he was home.
When the door opened, my breath caught in my chest. Harry stood before me looking so much more like a man then I'd remembered. He'd filled out and put on a little muscle but his bright green eyes were still just as sharp. When my brown eyes met his, there was a long silence. Before a word was even spoken, Harry held me tightly and I was crying on his shoulder like a child.
After a long while, I gathered myself together and met Harry's eyes once again. "Hermione, are you okay?" he asked softly, only just then noticing the baby carrier behind me. His mouth dropped but he didn't say a word.
"I'll be okay, Harry. No physical wounds to speak of. I - I know I have a lot of explaining to do and I… I'm sorry but I need your help. I didn't know where else to go."
"You're always welcome here, Hermione. You know that. Now come inside, have some tea. We'll talk about everything later."
It was his calm acceptance and understanding that surprised me. I know it shouldn't have but it did. Even when Harry saw my daughter, he didn't ask questions. He simply picked up her carrier and brought her inside. It wasn't until nearly an hour later after Harry insisted on giving us a room and helping us settle in, that we sat down on the couch for tea and a long talk.
"I know I should have written you so many times, Harry. I've been so stupid. I know that now," I started slowly.
"Hermione, you don't have to explain anything if you don't want to. I'm just glad to see you safe," he responded, squeezing my hand tightly and smiling at me liked I remembered so often over the last six years.
"No, I do. I do have to explain everything. It isn't fair to you if I don't. You might not forgive me for some of the stupid things I've done and if that's true, I rather find out now." I waited until he nodded his agreement before going on.
"When I left I tried to get Ron to go with me but I am sure he already told you that. I know why he didn't leave. I know he wanted to be with his family and I respect that. I just couldn't function any longer. I didn't know who I was anymore. I didn't understand my place in the world. All I knew how to be was little-miss-know-it-all or Harry Potter's friend. Somewhere along the line I felt like I'd lost myself and I thought going away was the solution. Maybe it was…"
"Before we go further, I have a question," Harry said politely with a smile and I knew he was trying to keep me from sinking even further into myself. "I'm guessing that beautiful baby in the crib over there is yours?" he said gesturing to the other side of the room where he'd insisted on putting the crib while we spoke.
"Yes. She's my daughter." I answered with a smile, following his gaze to where my baby slept. No matter the mistakes I'd made, she was something I would never regret.
"My questions are… what is her name? How old is she? And where was she born?"
I turned back to Harry once again and smiled. "Her name is Alicia Marie Granger. She is two months old and she was born in the United States in Los Angeles. I must say that you've been very nice. You haven't once mentioned that I put on some weight since I last saw you but Alicia is my excuse."
Harry laughed along with me. "Hermione, you don't need an excuse for anything. You look beautiful."
His words were so unexpected that I stopped laughing abruptly and tears filled my eyes. I leaned over and kissed Harry's cheek lightly before replying. "Thanks. That means a lot. It's been a long time since anyone has said that."
As a lone tear rolled down my cheek, Harry wiped it away and pulled me close to him. He held me protectively as I began the story of where I'd been for the last six years, why I was coming home now and who fathered the little girl that slept only a few feet away.