Left Behind
Chapter Four
Maggie's question hung in the air, waiting to be answered. The entire room had fallen silent, waiting, watching for the interaction of a man and his daughter to begin. It was obvious that Harry knew this was his daughter, not just from her name but simply by looking at her. Those green eyes were unmistakable; his eyes. For six years, she had been the adorable Potter daughter that brightened the Burrow, along with the lives of the Weasley family. She, like Harry, Hermione, and now Draco, was an honorary member. While the twins, Luna, and Molly watched hopefully for the little girl, Hermione was left in tears on Draco's shoulder.
She was beautiful; in that moment, Harry knew what Molly had always meant when she spoke of loving her children unconditionally for no reason but that they were hers. Here stood a mixture of him and Hermione, in all of her perfection and she couldn't possibly be more beautiful. She was so small and yet it hurt to know that she had been much smaller and he hadn't had the chance to be there for any of that. He would never know what it was like to hold her as a baby or see her do any of the things Draco had. He wasn't there for first words or steps; nor diaper changing or late night calls for her parents. He had come home to find he had left behind a whole life; one that had grown six years without him. He had the urge to hug the child in front of him, to cry for the days lost, but something held him back. Perhaps it was knowing that she had no idea who he was, or maybe he just wasn't ready to spill that much emotion when he hadn't even had a chance to explain himself.
Harry opened his mouth to reply to his daughter request of going flying, when the fire roared to life and out stepped a man.
"Where're my incredible nieces?" called out a kind-hearted, familiar voice.
"Uncle Remus," Maggie exclaimed, brightening considerably. "Come see my new friend Harry," she shouted to him. "Tell him he should come flying with me."
Everybody in the Burrow turned to see Remus Lupin slowly walk across the living room until he stood gaping near Harry and Maggie. He looked considerably better than he had when Harry had been attending school. His clothes were clean and well taken care of, his face had lost much of its sadness and tired demeanor. He looked years younger than even his real age, which was quite a feat given he had always looked much too old for his age. He shook his head, his eyes wide and shocked. "What- When- Is it really you?" he asked, his voice a whisper.
Swallowing, Harry nodded at him, staring into his watery eyes.
"Wotcher Weasley's," came a distinct female voice. Nymphadora Tonks stepped up beside Remus, staring at him worriedly. "What's wrong, darling?" she asked. Turning her head, she too stared at Harry in surprise. "Oh my..." she said, blinking rapidly. "Harry," she said, almost unsure if she was correct.
"Hello Tonks," he said, trying to smile.
"Well, this is just a regular family reunion," Draco broke in, relieving some of the tension.
"Draco," Remus greeted, turning to him. "You're back from France," he noted, nodding. "I was sure they were going to keep you another week," he told him, shaking his head.
"Mm, darling I told you he asked to be released early," Tonks reminded, tugging his hand. "Auror or not, he has a right to a week off before he gets into the swing of things 'round here."
"Yes, quite," Remus said, nodding. His eyes ran over the room, seemingly trying to avoid looking at Harry. Clearing his throat, he looked over at Molly, nodding, and then turned to Tonks to whisper something private in her ear. A moment later he disappeared from the room; Harry couldn't help but notice that the haunting look that hadn't been there when he first arrived seemed to creep back in.
"I'm guessing he's not happy to see me," Harry said, more to himself.
"He's not the only one," Draco replied, getting a few annoyed glanced which he pointedly ignored.
"Are you going to be reacting that way the entire time I'm here?" Harry asked him, glowering.
"Depends how long you're staying," he shot back, looking over at Maggie who was standing beside Harry but staring at the spot her uncle Remus had been, curiously. A moment later, she ran off to join him wherever he had gone, leaving everybody watching her go.
"I really don't think I have to answer to you," he told him, annoyed.
"No, just everyone who matters to me," Draco said, frowning. "You know, those people who used to matter to you," he reminded, sharply.
"What would you know, Malfoy?" Harry asked, unable to hide the hurt the words had caused.
Sighing, Draco tipped his head. "Let's see," he said, nodding. "While you were hiding out in your mansion somewhere, I was here consoling everybody you decided to leave behind. No letters to tell them you were okay, no contact whatsoever. Just one goodbye letter to Ron and Hermione and you were set to go. Who cares about Molly, or Remus, or everybody else who stood beside you? Who cares about the daughter you had on the way, but didn't stay around long enough to find out about? Who cares that you just fucked up everybody's life because you were being a selfish prick!" he half-shouted.
"It was complicated," Harry told him, his voice shaking.
"No, Potter, you made it complicated," Draco told him, standing up from the floor and taking Hermione with him. Shaking his head, he glared down at the world's savior. "I knew this would happen," he said. "I knew that you would show up one day, expecting everybody to just accept what you did. To just walk back in here thinking everything was going to be fine." Clenching his teeth, he stared at the man on the ground with unrestrained anger. "I don't care if you were tired of the media, or if Skeeter herself was tailing every minute of your messed up life. That little girl in there needed a father, and all you had to do was pick up a soddin' quill and scrawl a letter to your ex girlfriend. Because of you, she had to grow up reading a book about the man who was supposed to be there."
Turning, Draco looked at Molly and shook his head. "I'm sorry," he told her. "But I think it's best if I at least take Hermione home." She simply nodded at him silently. Walking across the room, he smiled at Tonks briefly who reached out to squeeze his hand. "Fred, George, I'll see you guys tomorrow," he told them.
Harry climbed off the floor, keeping his eyes off of anyone around him before walking to the kitchen where he knew Hermione and Draco had gone to fetch Maggie from Remus. He stopped at the door, watching the interaction between the four people. He had almost opened his mouth to say something but couldn't help wondering how his father's best friend and the man who had been like an uncle to him treated someone like Draco or even his daughter for that matter.
Remus sat in a chair near the table, with Maggie sitting in his lap as she patted his shoulder, telling him everything was going to be okay. He simply smoothed his hand over her hair, nodding absently. Draco kneeled down beside Remus and Maggie, taking the little girl's hand in his and wiggling it around, causing her to giggle.
"He came back," Remus choked out, staring out in shock.
"Please don't get your hopes up Remus," Draco told him, sighing. "Look, I know you've been searching for him for years, and maybe this is a good sign. But friend, I know you can't take it again if he disappears. Tell me you are not going to throw yourself head first into this. Take your time, find out if this is just a visit or a... long term event." Wrapping his arms around Maggie, Draco hauled her up against his chest before placing a hand on Remus' shoulder. "Why don't you come over to the house tomorrow night for dinner," he suggested. "Last time I checked, Hermione could make a mean meatloaf," he told him.
Chuckling, Remus looked up at him, nodding. "That sounds great," he accepted. "'Dora and I wanted to talk to you about something big anyway."
"Wonderful," Draco said, nodding. "Be there 'round six."
"Of course," he agreed. "You better take her home," he said, nodding at Hermione who was still crying silently but staring out at an unknown place.
Sighing, Draco shook his head, wrapping his arm around her waist tightly. "If he..." Trailing off, his face turned into a look of deep anger.
"I know, son," Remus said, nodding. "I know."
Harry watched as Draco slipped out the back door, walking away from the wards around the Burrow as he apparated them away. He wondered briefly, why it was that they apparated and didn't floo, but then decided it was likely because Draco didn't want him to know Hermione's address. Sighing, he was caught being pulled in all directions. Part of him wanted to go back to Molly because he knew she'd be accepting enough, while another part wanted to go to Remus. Finally, he decided to leave his father's best friend to his thoughts and slipped back into the living room. Fred and George had left, leaving Luna, Tonks, and Molly sitting on the couches.
"Well," he said, sighing. "This wasn't exactly what I had expected," he admitted.
"A lot has changed," Molly told him, her expression one of sorrow. "I know Draco came off sounding quite harsh-"
Harry snorted, crossing his arms and leaning back into the chair he had slumped into.
"You don't understand, dear, Draco is like... a son to me," she tried to explain. "After the war, after you left, he became a-"
"Replacement," Harry said, intending to think it, but accidentally admitted it outloud.
Molly's face contorted with horror as she shook her head. "Oh Harry, we could never, would never, replace you." Sighing remorsefully, she wrung her hands. "That was never our intention. He was just... He was there and he wanted to help. He was there for Hermione, for Ron. For all of us. We didn't know anything Harry. We had no idea where you were or how you were doing. Remus spent years searching the world for you," she continued, shaking her head sadly. "You just... you don't know how hard it was. How long it took for anybody to feel... the least bit normal."
"I'm sorry," he told her, feeling tears well in his eyes. "I- I didn't know," he said, quietly.
"It's a little hard to if you never try and get a hold of any of us," Luna told him, though her tone wasn't anywhere as accusing as Draco's. "We don't hate you... okay, well everyone but perhaps Draco doesn't," she said with a small chuckle. "You left a lot of people though, Harry. You hurt a whole lot of people who really care about you." Sighing, she stood up, picking a yawning Jazzie up with her. "Don't expect this to be easy, because I can assure you it won't." Turning to Molly, she leaned down to kiss her cheek. "My little one is getting tired, so I think I'll be off too." Turning back to Harry, she shrugged. "If you need a place to stay, though I'm sure Molly will gladly house you, I have a spare room at least until Ron comes home. I'm not quite sure how he'll react," she admitted.
Harry nodded, not sure what to say. "Thank you," he mumbled, quietly.
Luna smiled at him briefly before walking out the front door with a half-asleep red head cradled against her shoulder.
Tonks stared at him for a moment before walking toward him to kneel down and stare through squinted eyes.
"That's rather unnerving," Harry told her, squirming.
"Well, you can put up with it for a moment, can't you?" she asked, not really expecting an answer. "Your scar is almost completely gone," she noted.
Lifting his hand unconsciously, he touched his lightning bolt reminder. "Yeah, it faded a lot after Voldemort died, but it never healed completely."
"Hmm," Tonks said, nodding. "Well," she told him, smiling. "Are you going to give me a hug, or do I have to force you into one?" she asked.
Chuckling, Harry stood from his chair, wrapping her in a tight embrace. He had been rather stupid thinking that he could really just walk back into everyone's lives as if nothing had changed. After all, he wanted the Wizarding world to move on, how could he expect his friends not to? He had just been shocked by how much everything had changed. Draco was a beloved honorary family member of the Weasley's and apparently even Remus. He had raised Maggie as his own practically, while Harry had been off ignoring the world selfishly. In some ways, Draco was completely right to yell at him like he did; he had made a lot of valid points. Which just further irked Harry; if Draco Malfoy could actually yell at him with good reason, he must've made unimaginable mistakes. Of course, that was pretty obvious; given he had a six year old daughter that he had no idea lived. There was so much to wrap his mind around, it almost scared him enough to make him go running back to the solitude of his house. But then her eyes ran through his mind; those beautiful green eyes of his little girl and he immediately knew that there was no way he could leave her behind, not again. Not now that he knew she existed; he only had to find a way to make himself part of her life.
"He'll come around," Tonks told him, patting his shoulder comfortingly. "It's just been really hard on him."
"I never meant to disappear on him. I just- It was so hard being in the public all the time. I needed a break. I had no idea it had been so long though," he admitted, sighing.
"I'm afraid you're going to have a lot of apologies to hand out," Molly told him, coming over to hug him again when Tonks let him go.
"I know," he said, sighing. "Do you think... Ron will be okay with me?" he wondered, frowning.
"Well," Molly said, glancing at Tonks. "I don't think he'll hit you," she said, making it sound like a wonderful improvement. "To be quite honest with you Harry, there are only three people who could possibly tell you what Ron thinks about you."
"Luna and Hermione," he listed easily, nodding. "I have no idea who the third is, unless he has a new best mate I don't know of," he said, chuckling.
Looking uneasy, Molly looked away briefly. "Well..."
"Really?" he asked, shocked. "I never thought- I mean, I knew he'd have friends, but a best mate..."
"After you left he was in a real bad way," Tonks explained. "And just like with everyone else, Draco was there-"
"Draco," Harry exclaimed, shaking his head. "You have got be kidding me," he said, shaking his head. "Ron bloody well hates Malfoy."
Sighing, Molly shook her head. "You don't know Draco, Harry. You never had the chance to really get to know him because you were, well you left," she reminded, quietly. "He pulled Ron out of his funk, managed to not only get him back to laughing, but actually convinced him to get back into Quidditch. He arranged his tryouts for the Chudley Cannons, giving him the opportunity to play professionally," she told him, smiling. "He's even Jazzy's godfather. He's very close with Luna and Ron; practically a brother to them both." Cupping Harry's cheek she shook her head. "You were never replaced but after you were gone, we didn't know what to do with ourselves."
"So you moved Malfoy in to cheer everyone up?" he asked, becoming angry. "How long did it take for him to take my best friend and turn him into his own? How long was it before he had you all laughing and back to normal? When did he move in and take Hermione's heart, along with my daughter," he wondered, grimacing.
"You left, Harry," Remus suddenly called out, causing the young man to turn around. "You left all of us," he said, his voice choked with emotion. "You can't blame Draco for being there, and you can't be angry with the rest of us for trying to get on with our lives." Stepping forward, he stared at Harry, almost desperately. "You just up and disappeared on so many of us; leaving us with nothing but a scrap of parchment asking for our understanding," he reminded, shakily. "You missed marriages, children, friendships. You weren't there when Ron stood at the altar with Luna, but Draco was; he had a best man's speech ready. Or when he spent days locked away with bottles of firewhiskey, but Draco was; he managed to take it away from him and sober him up. Or when Ron had given up all hope of ever playing Quidditch or becoming an auror, because he couldn't do it without you; but Draco was, he convinced him to keep going for his dreams.
"You weren't there when the twins business exploded, but Draco was; he paid for them to rebuild it. He helped them assess the damages, and decide what they wanted done to the new building. And he didn't ask for one dime back, because they were like brothers to him and he could care less what it cost. Instead, he took them out for butterbeers the night it happened, cheered them up, and wrote up a new contract for an even better store all for them.
"You weren't around when Molly got sick, but Draco was; and he held her hand in the most expensive room at St. Mungo's. While she was ill and stuck with healer, he took care of the Burrow, taking weeks off of his job to keep up her home. He cooked dinner for Arthur, he babysat Fred and George's kids, and he spent time sitting with her while everybody else was busy working.
"You weren't there when I married Dora, but Draco was and he stood beside me, telling me I had finally made it to the best point in my life. While I stared at the spot beside him, thinking you should be there, he told me that somewhere you were proud. Somewhere, you knew that I had finally got my act together and married Tonks. He was likely only saying it to cheer me up, because he sure as hell doesn't like you, but that's what I needed, Harry. I needed you there, but he made up for you not being there. He can't replace you, but he was able to make it hurt so much less that you couldn't spare a moment of your life to be there for me.
"And you weren't there when Hermione held Magnolia for the first time. After sixteen hours of labour, when she lay there crying, holding this tiny bundle or you and her in her arms. You didn't have to hear her sob about how she wished you were there, how she wished you could see your daughter. But Draco was, he stroked her hair and held her until she cried herself to sleep. And he carried that little girl out to show the entire Weasley family and me and Dora, while we all waited to see the newest Potter child, in all of her beautiful glory.
"You left us Harry," he told him, angrily, now crying. "You left us to live out our lives without you. And you can blame it on the media, you can tell us it was because you needed peace and quiet. But nothing and no one ever stopped you from writing one damn letter. Just one note to say that you were okay and maybe even a little sorry that you couldn't be around. I searched for you; I looked all over for years. I put off having children with Dora because I didn't want to be away with them while I looked for you," he admitted. "I wanted you to be there, to know my son or daughter. But I couldn't find you anywhere," he told him, shaking his head. "And now, now you're here. And I don't know what to think," he said, the last word coming out a hurt whisper. "I want to hug you and tell you I'm glad your back, but I'm so angry with you that I can hardly look at you."
Clenching his jaw, he closed his eyes for a moment before letting out a shuddering sigh. "You can't do this to people, Harry. If you're here for good, then I hope that we can repair what's happened. But if you plan on walking out in a few days, weeks, or months time, then save us all and just leave now."
Harry stared at him in shock, tears slipped out of his eyes the entire time. "I- I don't know what to say," he admitted, his voice shaking.
"You can tell us if you're planning on staying," Molly told him, wiping her eyes. "Please Harry, we deserve to know. Is this really a visit, or are you here for good?" she wondered.
To Be Continued...
A/N Hope you enjoyed this. Please review!