The Perfect Azkaban Breakout (one-shot version) by pstibbons

Three years post-HBP. Hermione and the Order want to break Harry out of Azkaban. The bespectacled twit got himself thrown in there when he failed to kill Lucius Malfoy subtly enough after Lucius had murdered Ron and Ginny. Hermione burns Harry in effigy, negotiates with a traitorous and unredeemable Snape, gets drunk with Fred and George, has a Girls' Night Out in Knockturn Alley with Fleur and Tonks, writes columns for Luna's Quibbler, kills Draco Malfoy... and that's just the legal stuff. (Previously posted in 12 chapter form.) EXCERPT: Harry had wanted Hermione to be Secret Keeper, but she had refused. She'd said it was important to keep the secret until he died, and she might die before him ("What if I get knocked down by a Muggle bus, Harry? Or blown up by televangelist terrorists? Or choke on a Marie biscuit?").