A/N: I own NOTHING. I thank you for the reviews, and thank you for reading! I haven't written fan fiction in a loooong time, so I hope you will bear with me, this story will get better, I PROMISE =)
Draco awoke with a start, sitting up and patting the space next to him. He felt the coolness of the sheet beneath him, and knew that Ginny was gone. He called her name and grabbed his wand, looking for her as he wandered through the quiet house. When he got downstairs he saw the light from the fireplace of the drawing room, calling Ginny's name as he slowly pushed the door open.
He found his mother making notes in a ledger, and sighed. It had just been a dream. A night didn't go by when he didn't dream of Ginny, but this one had been so real...He could have sworn that he held her in his arms, that he was really kissing her.
"I know I did not just hear my son say that horrid girl's name in this house," Narcissa said, standing and facing her son.
Draco stood in the doorway, shirtless and barefoot as he crossed his arms over his chest. "I really don't feel like fighting with you, sorry to disturb, I'm going back to bed."
"Draco?"
Draco rolled his eyes as he turned to face his mother. "You must do whatever it takes to remove this girl from your system, you are getting married in just four months, you musn't start your marriage on the wrong foot."
"Like you and father?" Draco smirked. He just wanted to go back to bed, to maybe get back into his dream about Ginny.
"Do not be cheeky. We are talking about your life, not mine, now goodnight," she said in dismissal.
Draco started up the stairs and shook his head. How had things turned out this way?
*************
Draco woke up after a restless night and looked at the picture of Pamela on his nightstand. His mother had placed it there, and no matter how many times he put it in a drawer, it reappeared next to his bed. He showered and tried to think of how Pamela had come to be his fiancee. He shook his head as he thought of the awkward proposal...
"It's the next step, Draco."
Draco looked up from the morning paper at his mother. The next step indeed. A step into the dark abyss of a loveless marriage. He had wanted to take that step once, had been madly in love, but things hadn't worked out as he had planned them. He had proposed to the love of his life, and she had rejected him, telling him that she needed time to think, that she needed space. What could there possibly be to think about? He loved her, she loved him, and they were meant to spend the rest of their lives together. At least that's what he had thought. He was wrong.
Once again Draco remembered that sinking feeling as she walked out of his life. He always knew that things wouldn't work out for him, they rarely did. For once, he should have listened to his mother. He certainly had had to listen to her the day after he had proposed. His mum went on and on about what an idiot he was and how lucky he was that she had turned him down, he would have made the biggest mistake of his life, she'd said.
Draco was sure even now that the Weasley's had a good laugh behind his back every time he ran into one of them. Yes, he had loved Ginny Weasley at one time. But, she had rejected him, and he had not seen nor heard from her in three years.
He began dating Pamela Chandonnet just four months ago. She was a beautiful witch that his mum had met while vacationing in France. She had attended Beauxbatons, and was two years younger than Draco. She was a gorgeous blonde, with long legs, and the sweetest disposition. Draco marveled at how she looked up to and tried to emulate his mother. Pamela was fabulous in bed, kind, thoughtful, and generous out of it. She was perfect. Except that she wasn't Ginny. He just couldn't forget his redhead. Pamela tried very hard to please him, and make his life more comfortable, but he just didn't feel anything more than lust for her. She had uprooted her life and moved to England, but Draco would have preferred that she stay in France.
His mum was always pestering him to marry her, saying that she was truly "Malfoy material." Draco could easily see her in the role of his very proper wife…Keeping the house elves organized, making his mother happy, and delivering several perfectly behaved children. Draco could not imagine a more boring future.
One of the things he loved so much about Ginny was her unpredictability. He was never sure how she would react to anything he did. When he reached for her, she would either hug him back, or elbow him and try to bite him.
"Whatever are you smiling at?" Narcissa asked with keen interest. "Do not tell me that you are thinking of that Weasley tart again."
Draco remained silent and took a sip of his tea.
"Answer your mother," Narcissa instructed.
"I can't answer you. You just told me that you didn't want me to mention Ginny."
Narcissa stood and placed her napkin on the table. "Do not be difficult, Draco." She walked away and left Draco to think once again of what might have been.
Where was she now? he wondered. Was she happy? He hoped not. Not that he wanted her unhappy, it was just that he wanted her to be miserable and realize that she loved him and wanted to come home to him. But three years and no word. He even went looking for her, but she was nowhere to be found. Draco pushed away from the table and headed for work, determined, as he was everyday since she left to not think about her. Of course, there hadn't been a day yet when he had succeeded.
**************
It was dinner, and Pamela and Narcissa were chatting on and on about something or other, as Draco tried to stay awake. Their soft, even tones were lulling him to sleep. The table grew quiet, and Draco was suddenly awake, aware that he had missed something.
"Aren't you going to proceed, Draco?" Narcissa asked and beamed at Pamela across the table.
Pamela put a hand to her mouth and looked at Draco, eye's glistening with happy tears. That's when Draco noticed the box. There was a dark green velvet box next to his left hand. "Well, shit." Draco thought, looking at his mother, and then the box. It wasn't enough that he let his mother direct much of his life these days, but here he was stuck in an akward position.
Draco glanced up at Pamela, who looked ready to jump out of her seat. "Well, you see Pamela…" Draco cleared his throat and begged for patience. "I had thought, well, that I wanted to wait-"
Pamela jumped out of her seat and threw herself at Draco. "I am so glad that you didn't wait! I love you!" she opened the box and took out the large diamond, examining it's shine in the candlelight. She seemed to remember herself, and slowly got up off Draco's lap.
"I'm so sorry, Narcissa. I got carried away."
Narcissa smiled at Pamela, even though she could clearly see Draco's angry face over her shoulder.
And so it came to be that Draco was now an engaged man. Narcissa took out a rather large add in the Daily Prophet to announce the intentions of her son to marry, and Draco just rolled his eyes and threw the paper into the fire. Maybe he should try once more to find Ginny, maybe she would see the paper and come home. Draco decided to give her a few more weeks to come to him. He would go to the Hogsmeade Inn, just as he did every Saturday, and wait for her to come to him. Draco closed his eyes tightly and remembered when he had last seen her. They had spent the afternoon together upstairs, and had come downstairs for dinner when Draco had proposed. Ginny seemed genuinely surprised, and told him she needed some time. He had promised to wait for her, until she came to her senses, but how long was that going to take?
**************************
Ginny sat on her window seat in her apartment in Barcelona and sighed. The weather was perfect, not too hot or too cold, and she smiled as she watched the kids play handball on the wall several floors below her. She spotted a white dot on the horizon, and watched as it grew larger and larger. "Hedwig?" she wondered allowed as Harry's bird came swooping into her window. She watched as Hedwig landed on the top of the lamp and dropped the paper into her lap. It was the Daily Prophet. Ginny wondered why Harry would send her the paper, and skimmed through it until she found what she was meant to see. There was a large picture of Draco, with a tall blonde by his side, his arm around her waist.
"Malfoy to marry!" the headline said, and Ginny felt the tears well in her eyes. She remembered that he had said that he would wait for her. She felt her heart beat faster as the photo showed Draco smile at the blonde, then turn his face from the camera. He didn't love her, Ginny was convinced of that. She remembered how Draco had looked at her, like he hadn't eaten in weeks, and he had to have her, or he would surely perish. He had always told her that she was his food, his water, the very air that he breathed, that he couldn't live without her. Well, he seemed to be doing just fine without her.
She wondered why Harry had thought to send this to her, then she realized that Harry finally approved of Draco, and was giving his blessing. How dare he! Ginny had wanted to say yes to Draco's proposal, but had begged for time so that she could get support from her family. She knew that they weren't fond of Draco, and Harry's outbursts when he came around never helped, but she couldn't live without her family, and she couldn't live without Draco. She remembered that Draco had come to the "safe house" in Kent, under the protection of the order, and she had almost immediately felt a sympathy for him.
Ginny didn't want to make eye contact with Draco Malfoy. She wouldn't admit it to anyone else, but she felt sorry for him. He had tried to kill Dumbledore, and that alone was enough to earn him her hatred, but when she looked into his eyes, she saw a vulnerable boy. He didn't have the confidence of Harry, or the security of Neville even. He was broken, and she wanted to fix him. Ginny reached out to him a few times, but he always pushed her away. He and Narcissa only stayed with the Order for a few days before a suitable safe house could be found. No one was supposed to know the location, save for Moody and Shacklebolt.
After the death of Dumbledore, which Draco was most definitely blamed for, the Order members had a difficult time keeping him safe. Voldemort had not made an attempt to locate him, but Draco had the mark, and his arm would burn from time to time. Narcissa was just as haughty as ever, behaving as though she was mistress of the house, with Kreacher bowing and scraping to do her bidding. Harry had taken a swing at Draco when they first arrived, and Draco had taken it, not flinching under Harry's attack. Ginny knew that Draco was broken, and felt her deserved what he got. He and Harry avoided each other for the most part, they definitely weren't friends, but they didn't spend so much time throwing hateful glances at each other anymore either.
Ginny had a strained relationship with Harry herself. They had broken up, and both tried to act like they were alright with it, but Ginny was not. She cried herself to sleep almost every night. She understood his motivation, but that didn't make it hurt any less. It was a few days before Draco and Narcissa were getting ready to leave, and Draco and Ginny were the last two in the kitchen eating dinner. Remus lingered until Tonks came in, then told Ginny he would be "Right outside the door."
Draco smirked, what was he going to do? Assault her? Ginny continued to play with her food, nervously wondering if she should attempt conversation. She should hate him, and on some level she did, but there was so much lost little boy there too.
"Are you, are…you feeling-"
"Spit it out Weasley. I know you…" Draco stopped talking and looked down at the food he hadn't really touched. Why hadn't he insulted her? He had something rude to say, it was automatic. He reasoned with himself that it was because he didn't need to even speak to her, he could ignore her if he chose.
Ginny felt like an idiot, why bother? She was obviously wrong. He was still the same prat he had always been, perhaps just a better actor than she thought. Ginny was getting ready to leave when Draco said, "I, I didn't mean to…"
Ginny took her plate to the sink, keeping her back to him, "Didn't mean to do what?"
Draco left his plate on the table and walked out of the room.
Ginny was so frustrated with herself. Why did she bother to try and make him feel better? All he did was make her feel worse. She was probably just seeing things, he wasn't as sad as she thought, he was most likely using it as an advantage. Ginny was heading up to bed when she ran into Draco on the stairs. They both were waiting for the restroom. Draco motioned for Ginny to go, but Ginny didn't want any favors from him, and motioned for him to go ahead. They kept up the silent argument for several moments as Hermione breezed past them, into the loo. Draco knocked on the locked door.
"Hey, other people were here first!" he shouted.
Ginny gave a triumphant smile, and leaned against the wall. Draco leaned against the opposite wall, and waited. It began this way, rather simply, then Ginny felt more comfortable teasing Draco, knowing he would take the bait, he couldn't help himself.
They all took lessons from Lupin as they passed the days in the old house. Kreacher was kept under tight watch, but he mostly spent his time with Narcissa. Draco and Ginny always paired up together for their lessons, and Ginny caught Draco staring at her more than once. Once, Lupin called Draco's name three times before he heard him as they practiced dueling spells. From then on Ron paired himself with Ginny, and she and Draco would communicate by leaving letters in the same book in the library, "Men who love woman, and why they need therapy."
The notes weren't too intimate, mostly just random thoughts, and observances, it was just a few days later when the letters became more personal, that they started leaving them under each others pillows. Ginny had surprised herself by her easy trust of Draco, but at the time she chalked it up to the fact that it felt like the whole world was ending, what was so wrong with letting her emotions rule her, just a little?
Draco was paranoid that Ginny would turn on him and read his letters to everyone, but deep down he felt safe trusting her. He never told her that he loved her, but he did tell her that she had pretty eyes. Ginny blushed for a full day, causing everyone to wonder what was wrong with her. Ginny started to have these feelings that she couldn't explain. They weren't like what she felt for Harry, it was as if her body and soul were lighter, as if she was safe in this chaotic world around her.
Ginny smiled and wondered what everyone at the breakfast table would think of her if she stood up and announced that she was attracted to Draco Malfoy. She thought of Ron fainting to the floor, and her mother screeching in pain. Ginny giggled and looked up at the entire table staring at her. She smiled and dismissed herself to her room, where she leaned against the door and felt the joy inside her bubble up into a full laugh. She swung around the room and finally dropped onto the bed, bouncing twice before landing, and hugging her pillow close to her.
****************
The morning that Draco left he snuck into Ginny's room and covered her mouth with his hand. Ginny drew her wand from under her pillow, pushing Draco onto his back, and leaning on top of him. "Draco, I could have hexed you into the next century, what were you thinking?"
Since she hadn't moved from her position on top of him, Draco didn't move a muscle. He knew it was wrong, but it felt very right. Ginny sat up and took a seat on the bed, brushing her hair away from her face. "What is it?"
Draco sat up and straightened his robe. "We, mother and I are leaving, now. I just wanted to say, to tell you…It has been interesting. I mean, getting to...well the letters, and the...I know that I wouldn't have survived without you Ginny." Draco felt like an idiot, he had prepared a whole speech, but now that he was here, in front of Ginny, he couldn't get the proper words out.
Ginny didn't know what to say. She tucked her hair behind her ear to hide her nervousness, and looked at Draco. She couldn't see him very well; the only light was the moon coming through the window.
"Take care of your self Draco." Ginny awkwardly reached out to pat Draco's shoulder, when he suddenly took her into his arms. Ginny held her breath for a moment, unsure how to react. It felt good, to be held by him, she could feel his need, feel his distress; she didn't know what to do to help. She only knew that she didn't want him to leave her.
Draco didn't realize how much he had missed the touch of another human being. He had not held anyone, or been held in years. He allowed Pansy to paw him, or stroke his hair, but their was never anything so intimate between them. Even when he used her body, he was literally in and out, and she praised him for it and he was gone.
Ginny gave in to her urge and wrapped her arms tightly around Draco's neck. "Be careful," she whispered "Write me if you can...If you want to I mean." She hoped more than anything that he wanted to.
Draco hugged her even tighter, for only a moment then nodded as he walked to the door. "I will see you again, Ginny," he whispered, his back to her. Ginny closed her eyes tight and remembered that she had felt her heart break as he walked away from her. It wasn't until over a year later, when Voldemort had been defeated that she was able to hear from Draco again. She was shocked to receive a giant pile of letters, and realized that Draco had written her everyday, but for safety's sake wasn't able to send them to her. Ginny read each letter at least three times before she saw Draco again, and it was as if she had fallen in love with him through the Draco she found in the letters.
It wasn't until Ginny had met up with him again, in person when the war was officially over, that she realized that she did indeed have deep feelings for him. They decided to meet at The Hogsmeade Inn, and it became their official meeting place, as they hid their romance. They were soon found out, and Ginny tried to bring Draco into her family, but no one wanted to accept him. She didn't know what she was supposed to do, and in the end, she ran away from the problem, from Draco too, and she regretted that everyday. Before she knew it, she had been away for three years, living at times as a Muggle, and working all types of jobs, and meeting all kinds of new friends. She never forgot Draco, and she had gone to see him several times, but she never let him see her, even ducking into alley's when Draco turned to see who was following him.
She thought that she couldn't live without her family, but she had done so, coming home for birthdays and holidays, but mostly staying out on her own. She wondered now if Draco had completely forgotten her, had he found love? Ginny grabbed a box of tissues and crawled into bed to cry.