Hello! I know, I know, I said Thursday, but as I was trying to type this chapter, more ideas than I had planned started to come up and I just had to write them down. Besides I couldn't upload because thanks to the tornadoes that hit the States the phone lines were down. I cut part of what I wrote for the next chapter, which I don't know when I will be finished with. Soon, though. 'Kay, I want a bunch of reviews and hopefully ones that have more than 'update soon'. I really like to hear what you guys think about the little stuff, if you get my meaning. Pretty please?
**The longest review gets to ask whatever they want!**
Best Friends
Chapter 10
By Rodare
"I love you," he said. She never expected that and she stared at him as her brain tried to grasp his words. Her heart seemed to be doing somersaults but her brain had fried. Tears welled up in her chocolate eyes and Harry felt panic overwhelm his anxiety. He threw his arms around her pulling her tightly against his chest as she sobbed silently. "Oh, Mione! Don't cry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Sorry?" she managed as her brain kicked in after hearing her name on his lips. She pushed against his chest, looked up at him and she wiped her tears away in slight irritation. Since when was she such a bloody girl? "What do you mean you're sorry? You can't tell someone that you love them and then try to take it back!"
"But, I'm not taking it back!" he said in confusion. She looked deep into his eyes as she cupped his face with her hands.
"Are you sure?" she asked him as he unconsciously wrapped his arms around her body. He nodded and she smiled as a single tear escaped her eyes. They moved in closer to each other without thinking about it. Their bodies were pressed tight and their lips were so close that their breath mingled together, but they never let each other's eyes stray away from each other's gaze. "You'd better be, Harry James Potter, because I love you, too."
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"Where is everyone?" Hermione asked as they finally made their way to Gryffindor tower.
They had spent almost twenty minutes wallowing in their love for one another, and not until both felt that they were loosing control of the situation did they part. Then they had clung to each other in a tight hug as they finally accepted what they had been avoiding all their lives.
"Don't know," Harry answered but then he spotted a note stuck to the staircase that led to the dormitories. "Here's your answer."
Harry,
Mate, we were waiting for you guys but you were taking to long. We'll see you down at the pitch. This is bloody …I mean, great!
Ron
"It's all your fault," Harry told her with a grin as he kissed her lips softly. She sighed and almost whimpered as he nipped her lower lip playfully.
"Stop teasing me," she said pushing him back softly. He caught her hands and pulled her closer to him. She rose on her toes and nipped his chin playfully before she escaped his grasp. "Stop it, Harry. We need to get going. Come on."
"Party pooper," he said with a small pout. She kissed him again but escaped once more as he made to hold her tight against his body. She narrowed her eyes at him and he let a breath out as he took her hand and led her to his old dormitory. "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course," Hermione nodded as they entered his room. She sat down on his bed as she watched him walked toward his trunk. "What is it, Harry?"
"I…," he said waving his hands a bit. He mussed his hair a bit frustrated as he knelt down in front of the chest. Hermione frowned as she watched him and she had to fight her first instinct to go to him. He looked up and met her gaze with his. "Why did you go with Draco this morning?"
"I…Harry," she said as she looked for the words. She sighed and extended her hand out to him. "Come here. We need to talk."
"About what?" Harry asked as he stood and took her hand. She pulled him to the bed and he sat beside her.
"About us," she said watching his expression. She sighed and let go of his hand to hold her own on her lap. "I know you don't like to talk about…the things that go through your head. I know it's hard for you to open up and say things. I know it makes you nervous. I know it scares you and I know how hard it was for you to tell me that…"
"I love you?" he asked setting his hand above both of hers on her lap. She opened her hands and began to trace her finger on his softly before she nodded. "Yes, it was hard. I was scared, but it gets easier by the second."
"I know," she said softly. "I feel it too. That's why we need to talk. We need to…come to terms with everything. This is happening too fast, and there are things we need to set straight, so, we're going to sit here for a second and talk. Okay?"
"Okay," he said with a smile as he heard her bossy tone seep into her voice.
"Good," she said as she spread his palm with her soft fingers. She traced his palm gently and he could do nothing but be mesmerized by the feeling of complete joy that surged through his body by the simple touch. She looked up and met his gaze. "I need you to listen to what I'm going to tell you before you start drawing your own conclusions. I need you to trust me."
"I'll always trust you," he answered kissing her lips almost chastely. She smiled and caressed his cheek lovingly.
"My Harry," she said almost reverently. Merlin, how I have longed to be able to say it and now I know that every second was worth it. "I love you so much."
"I love you so much it hurts," he said sincerely pointing at his heart with the hand that was free from hers. She kissed him tenderly before she went back to touching his hand.
"There is nothing romantic going on with me and Draco," she said looking deep into his eyes. "There never has been and there never will be. Alright?"
"Couldn't be better," he said with a goofy grin. She rolled her eyes but couldn't fight back the smile that came to her lips.
"Oh, you're such a silly man," she said kissing him again. He grinned more and waited patiently for her to continue. "I went with Draco simply because he asked. Draco is not a man to ask for anything, so when he does than it means that he had absolutely no choice but to do it. He…well the thing is that he has become my…friend."
"Your friend?" Harry asked flabbergasted. "Since when? I knew you two were being more civil to each other since after the war, and until now…well, I simply thought that he was hitting on you."
"Draco? Oh, Harry, even if he was it was just not happening," she said with a soft chuckle. "It's just the way he is. He thinks he's God's gift to women. He's a bit of a git, but so is Ron, and you know how much I love him."
"Alright, but I still don't get it," Harry said scratching the back of his head.
"It's a long story, so, I'll make it short," she said as he nodded. "You know that Draco has to show up regularly to the Ministry until his probation is over."
"He still has another year to go," Harry said with a nod. She nodded and continued.
"Well, sometimes he has to wait for his meetings to start," she said. "Sometimes he and I would cross paths since I've been based on the Law Department. We started as you said by being civil to each other. One day I was leaving with Luna to lunch when he was just coming out of the Criminal Department. He greeted us and somehow Luna asked him to come to lunch with us."
"She did what?" Harry asked as he gaped at her, "And, you agreed?"
"Of course I did," she said with a half-frown. "Besides, that is not the point, the point is that he and Luna kind of…hit it off pretty well. By the time we had to leave it was as if they had been friends for years. One thing led to another and we decided to do it again sometime. When Luna and I got back to the Ministry we decided to keep it to ourselves since we didn't want to deal with Ronald."
"Just Ronald?" Harry asked raising an eyebrow. She narrowed her eyes at him and he didn't know why but he suddenly felt as if he was about to be in trouble. "What?"
"Don't act innocent, Potter," she said and he blinked. "I know what you and Neville have been doing for the last months when Ron was gone."
"What?!" Harry asked wide-eyed. "How…I mean…"
"I know everything," she said simply and he gaped. "So, you and Mr. Longbottom have been going to pubs on 'boys-night-out' without Ronald. You two have been going around with none other than Mr. Malfoy. Isn't that right?"
"I…" Harry said and then he nodded. "I can't believe you know that."
"The fact is that I know, and as such I know that you and Neville have noticed the same thing that Luna and I have," she said, "Draco is trying hard to fit in with the rest of us. After the war he had no one, but his mother and you."
"Me?" Harry asked and she nodded.
"You took him in when no one would," she told him. "Because of that, the rest of us have tried our best to look beyond our past and we've given him a chance. Ron? Ron is Ron and he'll come to his senses on his own time as he always does. My point is that…well, Luna and I gave him a chance.
"After Luna decided to quit her position as an Unspeakable and she became my assistant, we went out with him again. I was promoted and when we had an office to the both us, he brought champagne and we celebrated. Since then, every time he goes over to the Ministry he drops by our office. He brings us lunch and he sits there and we just talk. We're friends, but we couldn't tell you. You would feel obligated to tell Ron, and Ronald is just not ready to hear that his girlfriend and his best girl friend are Draco Malfoy's friends. Just like you felt that if you told me about you being his friend, that I would feel as if I had to tell Ron."
"So, he's not…" Harry said scratching his head. "He's not trying to go out with you?"
"No," she said with a smile.
"But, then why is he always talking about you as if…" Harry frowned. "As if you're a piece of meat. As if you and he have something."
"That's just the way he is," she answered with shrug. "I suppose its part of his Slytherin make up. He plays around like that, and you let him get to you. He knows he can get you and Ron that way so he pushes the right buttons. Like I said, he's nice, but he's still a git. You should hear him when he talks with Luna. If I didn't know better I would think that they are having some secret affair or something. She can take it better than I can, you don't know the Luna that I know. I just ignore him half the time. He's a… flirt. This morning, the way he wrote the note, he did that on purpose."
"What do you mean?" Harry asked.
"Well, he knew that I was going to give it to you and Ronald," she said with a shrug. "I have been doing it for nine years. He knew beforehand the way that you and Ronald would take it."
"That bloody, prat!" Harry said with a chuckle. "So, what did he want?"
"He wanted to help me out with something," she said watching him with a mischievous look in her eyes. He narrowed his gaze and she pecked his lips softly. "He wanted to help me get you."
"What?" Harry gaped. "How…wha…I mean…what?"
"Apparently, he knew how we felt about each other," she said squeezing his hand. "Give me your word that you won't go nutters, so I can tell you what he told me."
"You have my word," Harry said, his interest piqued. "But I still don't get what he would gain from it. He is a Slytherin."
"Do you remember the one person who stood by Draco apart from you and me?" she asked watching his expression closely, while ignoring his question, "The one who defended him when everyone else began to doubt your reasoning."
"You always trusted me and then there was Luna…" Harry said ticking the names of on his fingers and then there was Ginny."
"Luna, me, and Ginny," Hermione said with a nod. Harry waited but she was looking at him expectantly as if she wanted him to figure it out on his own. He frowned as he concentrated a bit trying to think back to a time that he had decided to forget.
*~*
During the last battle, the remaining members of Dumbledore's Army had gathered outside of Hogwarts. Voldemort had sent his first attacks ahead of himself and at that moment he had made his first mistake. Without knowing that Harry had destroyed his Horcruxes, Voldemort had feared nothing, and he had blindly sent Nagini along with all the magical creatures that had joined the dark side. After hours of countless of encounters with everything from werewolves to a few giants, the Trio had managed to find Nagini, but each Horcrux claimed a sacrifice. To kill Nagini they had to do it the muggle way, which meant no magic, for the snake seemed immune to any magical attacks. Once Harry had managed to sink Gryffindor's sword into the snake, the animal had trashed and with a whipping motion of its tail, it had sent Harry flying. In that moment of confusion, Hermione had turned to look at him to make sure that he was okay.
"Harry!" she had called to him desperately. Harry landed on his back as his breath was pushed out of him. Ron was trying to fight of a Death Eater scout that was trying to get to the snake. Harry managed to raise his head just in time to see the snake throwing itself at Hermione who had her back to it.
"Behind you!" Harry had cried. She turned and miraculously she jumped to her side. The fangs missing her by a centimeter, but the snake had whipped its tail just in time to crash the rest of its huge body into Hermione. "NO!"
He still wondered how he had made it to her side in less than a second. Ron said he saw him on the floor one second as he turned at his cry, and then the next he was towering over the snake sinking the blade deeper, finally ending its life. The next second he was blowing the carcass aside to get to Hermione. She opened her eyes and he felt the warmth, the life that had left his body return with a sigh as she focused her chocolate eyes on his.
"You alright?" ha asked in a strangely broken voice. She nodded but winced as she tried to sit up. "What? What's wrong?"
"Broken ribs," she said biting her lip to keep her pain away. He turned pale and she saw thousands of emotions run through his eyes as he looked away from her gaze. "Harry?"
"What?" he answered a bit coolly. She winced but she managed to grab his chin forcing him to look at her. He shook his head instantly, almost violently. "No. Don't ask me."
"It's not your decision to make," she answered. He glared at her but she glared right back. "Help me up, you git."
"Harry!" Ron called as he finally landed a Sectusempra on the Death Eater finally finishing him. "We're too spread out! We're easy targets!"
"Fall back!" Harry called as he helped Hermione up. Her knees buckled for a second but she managed to stand. She wrapped her arms around her abdomen as she tried to control her breathing. Harry wrapped his arm around her waist carefully. He raised his wand sending a flurry of silver stars into the air, signaling the rest of the D.A. to fall back. He helped her get back toward the gates of the castle gingerly as the others managed to get back to a momentary safety.
"Harry, it's Him!" Neville said pointing toward a far away point. It was coming from the Forbidden Forest, where the Dark Mark had suddenly appeared in a fiery red, marking not a death, which was marked by a green Dark Mark, but marking the arrival of the Dark Lord himself.
"This is it," Harry said looking away from the place where Voldemort was gathering his Death Eaters. He turned to his friends and he saw the same thing in every single face, fear. Fear, but overpowering the fear was a deep determination and the desire to avenge all the innocent victims of their world. "I can't promise you more than my best. Give it your all and remember not only those who have died, but also what they died for. We fight for the same thing tonight."
"Don't worry about us," Fred said wiping carelessly at a cut under his eye.
"That's right," George finished. "You just kill that bloody wanker."
"It's Draco," Luna said loudly making everyone turn to look at her. They followed her gaze as she nodded towards the Forbidden Forest once more. Sure enough running towards them was none other than Draco Malfoy. They waited with bated breath as he reached them almost falling on his knees as he made it to the other side of the fence barely avoiding a jet of green light that came out of the shadows of the trees. Luna walked toward him, but Ron grabbed her arm and yanked her back. "Ronald!"
"I'm not letting you go near him," Ron snapped. Seamus and Dean grabbed Draco by his arms before he could catch his breath back. Ron took his wand as they yanked him to his feet roughly.
"Let go of me, you idiots!" Draco said seething. "Potter, call your dogs off!"
"You little…"
"Ron!" Hermione said weakly and Harry just noticed that she was still by his side, looking deathly pale but determined. Ron stopped and turned angrily to look at her.
"Why are you here?" Harry asked not wanting to listen to Ron's tirade at such a moment.
"I deserted him," Draco answered looking into Harry's eyes with his own gray gaze.
"Legimens!" Harry said pointing his wand at the blond. Hermione was hurt, the rest of his small band of supporters were weary, and they were the last barrier to a school full of school children, he had no time or inclination to wait for things to unfold on their own. Draco screamed and clutched his head as the others watched thunderstruck. Seamus and Dean let him go and he dropped to the floor on his knees as he screamed, and Harry saw…
He saw a blond boy grinning like crazy as his mother handed him a small toy broom. The same boy a couple of years older cowering under his father's wrath. In a flash he pushed away from those thoughts, he wasn't trying to intrude on Draco's memories, all he wanted…he saw Draco appearing out of the smoke cloud on his knees in a circle around Voldemort. Voldemort was saying something but blood was pounding in his ears-Draco's ears. Harry felt the fear Draco had felt as if it was his own, but he also felt his courage as he broke the circle of Death Eaters and walked towards the raging Dark Lord standing tall as if his heart wasn't about to burst.
"What are you doing, boy?" Voldemort hissed as he turned to face him. His black robes swishing at his feet, his inhuman red eyes glinting in the dark, but Draco stood there facing him.
He wanted nothing then but to turn around, run, and hide. He couldn't do it, though, he wouldn't do it. He couldn't keep living as a vile little worm doing the will of his father and that of the Dark Lord. A "Lord" he had only venerated as another of his father's commands. That had never been him. If it meant he had to die, then so be it. Besides, he only had his mother left, and he had assured her safety before hand.
"I will not do this anymore," Draco said emotionlessly. At least his father had taught him something, he thought bitterly. Voldemort looked at him, almost…curiously, as if he had never seen him before. "I cannot do this anymore."
"Are you turning to the white side, wee Malfoy?" Voldemort asked. He laughed in that cold, cruel laugh, that had haunted Harry's dreams all his life. Draco didn't answer nor did he turn around as Voldemort circled him. Voldemort laughed once more and moved swiftly to stand before the young man. "Answer me."
"I am not my father," Draco spat pulling his Death Eater mask of his face. He was paler than usual but his cool grey eyes held a fierce determination. He threw the mask at Voldemort's feet making the Dark Lord's eyes flash in anger. "I will not become him. My allegiance lies elsewhere. My allegiance has never truly been with you, Lord."
"Crucio," Voldemort spat almost carelessly. Draco fell instantly with a loud scream of pain as his body convulsed painfully. It was as if hot knives were stabbing every inch of him again and again until his vision went black, but before he drifted into unconsciousness Voldemort pulled the curse back and laughed.
"K-kill me, if its y-your w-will," Draco said managing to get up on all fours as he tried to catch his breath. He looked up into the skull-like face of the man that he had been taught to follow blindly. He looked into those red, glowing eyes, and he remembered two twinkling blue eyes. He remembered the face of a much kinder man that had offered him everything even when he had betrayed him. "I-I've done things…I'm n-not a…I'm not a good person. I'm not one of them…but I'm not one of yours either. If I have to chose than I'd rather be with them then with you."
"You'd rather be a weakling?" Voldemort hissed and then laughed. He looked up and his eyes focused on a man watching from the sidelines. Voldemort flicked his fingers and Lucius Malfoy's mask banished. "What do you say I do with your son, Lucius?"
"He was no son of mine the second he chose that vermin over you, my Lord." Lucius Malfoy answered with hatred and disgust etched into every word. He spoke as if indeed he was not speaking of his own flesh and blood, but of the vilest thing that had crawled the earth. "I say, have no mercy, but that is a decision for you to make, Master."
"Indeed," Voldemort said turning to Draco who had now managed to stand up straight once more. Voldemort looked at him again. "Do you want mercy, Draco? After all, I am a merciful lord. If you ask it of me I will end your suffering this instant."
"I ask to be allowed to fight among those I chose," Draco said defiantly. "I could not live with myself by begging for mercy. You are all powerful, Lord. I ask nothing more than to die among those I chose to die with."
"I shall then grant your wish, Draco Malfoy," Voldemort said and for the first time Draco seemed to stagger on his feet. He took an unconscious step backward as Voldemort raised his wand and pointed it at him. "Not one of those who have ever followed me, have shown half the courage you have tonight. I do value courage even if it is a pathetic and foolish thing. Go, Draco Malfoy. Go die with those weaklings. It will be much more pleasurable to see you dead on that field by the end of tonight, then to kill you here when no one is here to watch you fall. By the end of tonight, you will be begging for mercy, but you have betrayed me. Remember this because I have no liking for traitors, and you will die a most painful death. You will die like an animal."
"Leave the Dark Lord's presence," Lucius snapped out furiously, "Before I kill you myself!"
"Go to hell, father," Draco said pushing his father aside. He turned once more to look at the face of the man that had ruined his life. Lucius Malfoy was seething in anger. "I hate you. I'm so glad I can finally tell you."
"Ungrateful…" Lucius snapped sending a curse at him. Draco dodged and began to run for his life.
Harry gasped and pulled his magic back. Draco collapsed to all fours. Harry turned as Hermione gasped beside him. He turned and he could tell by looking into her eyes that somehow she had seen what he had seen. He supposed it had something to do with him being touching her all along. Somehow, his magic had linked to hers.
Luna moved next to Hermione and Harry let her go to Luna. He turned to Draco who was on his knees breathing hard. Harry looked at him and he extended his hand. Draco looked at it and hesitated for a second before he allowed Harry to help him up.
"Can you fight?" Harry asked as pulled the Slytherin to his feet. Draco nodded. "Will you fight?"
"Will you trust me?" Draco countered. Harry glanced at Hermione who was being checked by Luna and Lavender. She nodded and he turned back to Draco. He nodded to him and extended his hand. Draco hesitated then shook it. "You'd better know what you're doing, Potter."
"I'll improvise," Harry said turning to the others who were watching him and the Slytherin cautiously. "We will divide into pairs. You will protect each other. If…if any of you rather leave…"
"We're not going anywhere but there," Neville said pointing toward the field. Harry nodded but he then focused on Hermione. She had her back to them while Luna was wrapping a large bandage around her abdomen.
"Ron, you can go with Draco," Harry began but Ron shook his head and glared.
"There's no way in hell that's happening, mate," Ron snapped.
"Scared I'll bite, Weaselbee?" Draco asked with a smirk as he took his Death Eater cloak off.
"Shut the bloody hell up," Ron snapped.
"I'll go with him," Luna said with a shrug, and even Draco blinked in surprise that someone had volunteered. Ron turned a bright red and shook his head.
"Hell no!" Ron said looking at her as if she was crazy. "I'll go with Luna."
"I'll go with Malfoy," Hermione said pulling her dirty shirt over her bandage. Draco looked at her and their eyes met as if in an understanding.
"No," Harry snapped beating Ron to the point just as he had managed to open his mouth to complain. Everyone blinked at his tone. Hermione raised an eyebrow at him disbelievingly that he was acting like this after what he had seen. "You're not going with him or anybody else. You go back to the castle…"
"Whoa, Potter," Hermione said raising her hand to stop him as she straightened up. "I am not going back to the castle. I'm not leaving, you hear?"
"Hermione," Harry said walking toward her. "I…I can't let you. You're hurt. You're…"
"Perfectly capable of fighting," she said shaking her head. "You don't have to let me do anything. I'm doing it whether you want me or not. This isn't for you to decide. I'm not going to go back to the castle and hide just because of a little tap."
"Little tap?!" Harry asked loudly. "Are you bloody insane? You might be bleeding internally…You might…Your ribs are broken, for Merlin's sake! No, no…I can't let you risk yourself anymore…I…"
"I'm not leaving you!" Hermione snapped at him making him take a step back. "I don't care if I die, so long as I can be with you to the end."
"I care!" he screamed at her. Tears fell from her eyes and he felt his chest constrict painfully. He felt as someone had stuck their hand clean through his flesh and squeezed his heart agonizingly hard. "I can't watch you die! I can't let you get more hurt than you already are. Please."
"Please don't ask me that," she countered. "I-I can't leave you. There is nothing that would hurt me more than you not letting me by your side. I'll be careful. I promise."
"You promise you won't do anything stupid?" he asked and she laughed between her tears.
"I-I'm the one that should be asking you," she answered. He smiled for the first time in weeks and then nodded. "I promise if you promise you'll do everything to come back to me in one piece."
"I promise," he said not really caring that he could not truly make that promise. She nodded as if she knew what he was thinking. "Alright, but you're coming with me. I'll take care of you, Mione."
"As wonderful as it is to see you all lovey dovey with Granger, Potter," Draco broke in coolly. "I'd rather you start getting a move on with this."
"I'll go with Draco, Harry," Ginny said. Harry glanced at her and wondered for just a fraction of a second why he wasn't more worried about her than about Hermione.
"What is bloody wrong with all of you?" Ron snapped.
"Nothing," Draco said with a smirk. "They just know a prize male when they see one, Weaselbee."
"Keep dreaming, Ferret boy," Ginny said with a smile. Draco grinned at her and winked. She rolled her eyes at him, but she walked over to stand by his side. "I'll trust you to watch my back."
"I'll watch it real good," Draco said insinuatingly. Ron turned red, Ginny blushed and glanced at Harry. Harry frowned but didn't say anything. He instead turned to the brunette by his side and sighed.
"You're going to win this time," she said reassuringly as she held his hand for a second while she looked into his eyes. "For everyone he has taken from all of us."
"Yeah," he nodded trusting her above anybody else. He turned to the others. "We are more than the Order of the Phoenix ever was. We are Dumbledore's Army!"
*~*
"He likes Ginevra," Harry said disbelievingly as he came out of his reverie. He turned to Hermione who was merely regarding him silently, as if gauging his reaction. "That's what he told you, isn't it? That he fancies, Ginny."
"He told me he's in love with her," Hermione answered impassively. Harry stood and walked over to the window as he tried to make his brain catch up with what Hermione was telling him. "That's why he wanted to talk with me. He knew I was the only person he could tell without me making him feel bad about it."
"So, he is in love with her?" Harry asked thoughtfully.
"Yes," Hermione answered as she watched him. "Does it bother you?"
"No, I'm…strangely glad," he answered softly. He turned around and saw her look down at her lap. He frowned and made to walk toward her but she looked up and the strange expression in her eyes made him stop. "Hermione, I don't care about Ginevra like that anymore. It has been quite a long time since I have. It's just…it was easier to pretend…No, the word is not pretend. What I mean was that it was easier to believe that I cared, rather than face the unknown once more. This…it just took me by surprise. I love you, Mione, no one else but you."
"I…"she said looking away from his eyes a second. He was kneeling in front of her now, his hands on her knees as she held her own on her lap. She looked back at him and he blinked as he saw a strange kind of hurt…no, pain in her eyes. He raised his hand to touch her cheek but she evaded his touch. Hurt clawed his insides instantly. She got to her feet and in the same manner that he had, she walked to the window and looked out toward the Quidditch pitch. "You were going to ask her to marry you before all this happened between us. That is why you decided to take a break, so that you could put your feelings into perspective. Am I right, Harry?"
"I…yes," Harry answered wondering just how she knew everything. It was as if her own mind had a mind of its own.
"Why, Harry?" Hermione asked as if it pained her to speak, but she didn't turn. Harry walked to her but he didn't touch her. He stood by her side instead and followed her gaze to the pitch. Two redheads appeared down at the pitch. The Weasley twins climbed their brooms and sped around the hoops. "If you didn't love her, then why?"
"Because I thought that what I had with her was good enough," he answered softly. They didn't look at each other as if they both feared what they would see. "You know I've always wanted a family of my own. I wanted normality for once in my life. Ginevra gave me that before the war. After, it just seemed like a good idea. It was better than having to pry Cho off. Besides, I thought that my attraction for her was the best thing I was going to get. I thought…well, I thought…"
"You thought you couldn't love," she finished turning sharply to him. He stiffened and kept his gaze focused on the outside. The twins were zooming through the hoops easily, as if they'd done it all their lives, which they had. His silence and evasion told her everything. "How…how could you? You have told me you loved me before. Yes, as friend but it's the same thing. You…you didn't mean it, did you?"
"I do love you," Harry said turning sharply to look at her. He took her hands but she pulled away and hugged them to herself. He saw tears ready to burst out of her beautiful, chocolate eyes. A lump rose in his throat as he saw her pain and doubt. "Mione, I love you so much it hurts."
"I meant before," she said rubbing furiously at a tear that managed to escape her eyes. "I meant…every time you told me you loved me before this happened between us. Did you meant it or not?"
"You know damn well I did," he snapped feeling as if she had physically struck him. "I… you can't doubt that. You're the first person I ever said that to. You know I don't say things I don't mean. You know that."
"But then…"she said shaking her head as if she couldn't begin to understand anything he had said to her. " How could you believe that you couldn't love, and still mean it every time you said it to me?"
"I thought that what I felt for you was entirely platonic," he told her grabbing her hands once more. This time she didn't pull away but she didn't walk into his arms as she was prone to do. "I thought that what I felt for you was another kind of love. I thought that it was because you were such a big part of me.
"You see, I knew that I had the ability to love," Harry explained looking into her eyes so he could be sure that she understood what he wanted to say. "I knew I could because I loved you. I…well, I thought that perhaps…I thought that I couldn't love a woman."
"What did you think I was, Harry?" Hermione asked with a bittersweet chuckle.
"I meant romantically, cheeky know-it-all," he said trying to make her smile. It seemed to work as the corners of her lips twitched upward. With a tug of her hands, he pulled her against him. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. "I was a fool, but I thought that I could only feel family love. That's why I was going to ask Ginny to marry me, because I thought that it was it for me. I thought that it would be enough, that I could spend all the love that I felt on the children we could have. I could still love you. I didn't know I could feel more…I didn't know there was more. I didn't think the love I feel for you was there."
"But what if what you feel for me is the same thing you feel for Ginevra," she questioned softly. "What if it's just stronger because of our history together? You've always seen me as your sister. Maybe that's…"
"It's not!" he said sharply in a voice he rarely used. He pulled away from her so he could look at her properly. His tone softened as he looked at her. She seemed so fragile, so easily shattered, and so different from the Hermione he was used to. He could barely see the strong, assured, self-confident woman he had grown with and admired all his life. He pulled her close again as he leaned into her hair. "Its not. You don't feel like this for a sister. You're not my sister. You're the woman I love and cherish. You, Hermione Jane Granger, are the one woman I love and desire with every particle of my being. I have loved you differently since I met you. I was just too dense to know it before. I don't know why I didn't see it before. I think it was because I was not ready to handle everything I feel for you.
"Every time I've looked at a woman, I've compared them to you," he muttered kissing her hair softly. "I've looked for some likeness to you. When my relationships, if you can call them that," he said with a chuckle, "failed, I wondered why they couldn't be like you. Even when things went right, as with Gin, I find myself seeing wrong in them. They were not perfect, but the biggest flaw in them was that they weren't enough like you. They weren't you. I thought it was because you were the one woman I admired above all in my life, but it isn't. I do admire you and I will for the rest of my life, but last night I noticed the real reason why. It's because I love you. It's because I've loved you since we were eleven years old. You're the only person I have ever told that to."
"You professed your love to McGonagall and the Weasleys last night, remember?" she said raising her head to look up at him with a smile on her face even when tears were pouring from her soft, warm, brown eyes. He blinked as if he'd just realized it and then he grinned.
"I did, didn't I?" he asked making her laugh gently. He pouted a bit and at that moment, the whole world put together could not love as much as she loved him. "Huh, I …well, after I got used to telling you it was just easier, but you are the first person I've loved, alright? You're the one person I love above all others. I'll never feel for another what I feel for you. Believe that, Mione.
"I can't live without you," he said kissing her forehead. "I can't. I won't. I know it's horrible but I can live through the others leaving me. I know I could, but you...you I can't do without. I would die for you and in truth, I lived because of you. That last day when I told you to stay behind and you wouldn't…when we got separated for those last minutes, I saw you fighting Dolohov. I …I knew then that I had to kill Riddle and live through it so I could go and kill Dolohov for every time he hurt you. I felt more hatred for Dolohov then than for the monster that had killed so many more. You mattered more to me than anyone ever could. My need to save you, my love for you in that moment was so great that Voldemort couldn't stand it. He shattered and I was going to kill Dolohov but you beat me to it.
"After I made it to your side, we both passed out…when we woke up…I didn't know what to feel. Before I could make up my mind Cho was there pushing and pushing, and Ginny…Ginny was so willing to be my escape again. You took up with Ron and I-I kept from facing the truth once more. It was easier that way. One thing led to another and I refused to listen to my heart. I'm more used to listening to my gut then to my heart anyways. I'm dense when it comes to matters of the heart, but I've never been more sure in my life. I'm sure I love you. I'll always love you."
"Oh, Harry," Hermione whispered. "I've always loved you, and I would have loved you even if you didn't love me back. I noticed you as a boy rather than just my friend during fourth year. I…you wanted Cho then and Viktor… well, Viktor wanted me. Ronald, Ronald was as dense as always but deep down I knew what he felt for me. Fifth year…fifth year you got Cho even if for a little bit, and then it was pure chaos. Sixth year…that year none of us were the same. Then Ginny asked me to help her get your attention and well, you wanted her too. I hated her, Harry…for about one second I hated her with all my heart.
"Then I saw how happy you were and I was happy, too. That's when I hated myself. Then Ron took up with Lav and it was just so…I felt as if I had lost both of you at the same time. Besides, I had grown used to the idea of Ron and me," she said shaking her head a bit as if she know found the idea ludicrous. "I felt attracted to Ron, he's a good looking man. He's a good man. After, the war, you took up with Ginny again, and I thought that was it for me. I had to give myself a chance, and well…I had to give Ron a chance. I've done things, Harry. Things that shame me. One of them is using Ron and…Viktor to get over you.
" I used them, Harry, when I couldn't take it anymore I used them. I tried to forget you but I couldn't and I couldn't keep hurting people. I stopped dating and I focused on my work. I can't hurt my work the way I hurt them. Last night, being here once more, doing things, hearing things, I broke down. Then there was the thing with Draco and his…machinations. Then you and me. I don't want to doubt you. I've dreamed of this even when I told myself not to, but I only want to be sure. I want you to be sure because I don't want to be hurt and foremost, I don't want you to hurt because of me."
"I'm sure, Hermione," he said once more. He kissed her tenderly before he pulled back to look at her with a smile as he wiped her tears away with his fingers. He grinned at her and then pecked her lips once more as she smiled back. "Besides, Ron told me you both ended your relationship on common terms. You both said the same thing and that's why you are still the same best friends. Krum was such a long time ago. You were fourteen, Mione, and he was the first guy to be smart enough to try to win you. You can't blame yourself for that."
"I …" Hermione said pulling away from him. He frowned as she wrapped her arms around herself and took a step back from him.
"What is it?" he asked concerned. "What's wrong? Mione…"
"Harry," she said almost in a whisper. "I…I went to Bulgaria before I went to pick you up at the Dursley's to go to Bill's wedding."
"I…what?" Harry asked frowning. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I went with my parents for a few days, but I was scared that the Death Eaters would try to track me," she said as a sob escaped her. Harry tried to move toward her but she shook her head vigorously, making him stop. "I left to Bulgaria and I spent a week there. I spent a week in the Castle of the Krum family."
"You spent a week with Viktor Krum?" Harry asked. She watched him warily as if she feared his reaction. "Why? Why didn't you tell me…us?"
"I don't know why!" she said as if furious with herself. She turned and what he saw in her eyes scared him because for the first time since he knew her he couldn't tell what to expect from her. She looked him in the eye before she whispered, "I …I slept with Viktor, Harry."
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