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Damn Him! by hermy_madness
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Damn Him!

hermy_madness

Harry turned of the television with a lazy flick of his wand and hauled himself off of the sofa to answer the door. He opened the front door and grinned broadly when he saw Hermione standing there. He hadn't seen much of her these last few months, since he had moved to Godric's Hollow he hadn't seen much of anyone, and he had missed her. His grin faded to a look of concern when he saw Hermione's anxious face.

"Hey, come in. What's wrong Mione?"

Hermione seemed undecided, she stood in the centre of his living room biting her lip and twisting a strand of hair tightly around her finger. After taking a few deep breaths she hesitated, then blurted,

"Harry, do you love Ginny?"

She blushed furiously as she said it and stared obstinately at his knees, refusing to look at him.

Harry stared at her, trying to see where this conversation was going, but she still wouldn't look him in the eye. Why did she want to know that? Hermione had given up on interfering in his love life once they had left school. Finally he just told her the truth.

"No - I care about her of course, she'll always be like a sister to me, but we both realised that the relationship wasn't going anywhere. We called it off about a month ago, didn't you know?"

He didn't mention that Hermione was part of the reason they had split up.

Finally she condescended to look at him, a strange expression on her face. "You called it off? Oh." She sat down heavily on the sofa. Harry wanted to go and put his arm around her, tell her everything would be ok, that he would make everything all right. She looked so lost and confused, but something held him back and he stayed standing.

"What is it Mione? You can tell me you know."

Once again that strange expression flitted across her face as he said this, but it was gone so quickly that Harry couldn't tell what it was. Whilst he was still trying to puzzle out the meaning behind Hermione's odd behaviour, she whispered something.

"Sorry Mione, what was that? I didn't catch what you said."

Hermione turned beetroot as she cleared her throat, stared at the ceiling, the floor, the walls and then finally at Harry.

"I said, Ron's proposed."

Harry felt the bottom drop out of his stomach as he froze. No. This couldn't be happening. Not Ron and Hermione. He'd always managed to persuade himself that they weren't that serious about each other. Ever since he had discovered his deeper feelings for his girl-best-friend and split up with Ginny, he had secretly been hoping that somehow Hermione would split up with Ron too.

"Oh… well, congratulations I suppose."

Hermione stared at him for a few moments then looked away,

"Thanks - well I just thought you should know."

She looked at him for a few seconds more, but his brain seemed to have jammed, he didn't know what to say. It felt like someone had just cut out his tongue and was trying to force feed it to him. He was practically choking on the words he wanted so badly to say. I love you. Finally she turned and said,

"I should go now… I just came round to tell you and to -"

Whatever she had been about to say was drowned out by the loud crack as she dissapparated.

Harry just stood there, completely shell-shocked. Ron and Hermione were getting married. Hermione was going to marry Ron. They were engaged. He felt as though his whole world was falling to pieces and nothing he could do would ever make it fit back together. It was worse than when Sirius and Dumbledore had died, worse than when he had found out he was the only one who could kill Voldemort. As long as Ron and Hermione had only been dating there was always the vague possibility that somehow, in an ideal world, he would end up being the one going out with Hermione. But now that dream had been torn up and pounded to dust. He sank slowly onto the sofa that Hermione had vacated feeling helpless and lost. Without Hermione, life just wasn't worth living. She would always be his friend, he knew that, she had proved her loyalty often enough during the War. But he wanted so much more than just her friendship. He wanted to be able to tell her he loved her every single day for the rest of his life, and hear her say it back. Now she was marrying Ron.

The next few days saw Harry drift listlessly around the house on autopilot. Without Hermione there seemed no point in doing anything. At times he berated himself for moping over losing something he had never had in the first place. He felt as though he had lost a part of himself. Once he even considered cutting her out of his life altogether, perhaps that way it would be less painful; but he could more easily cut of his arm. There would be periods of time when he would snap out of the mental void he seemed to have slipped into for long enough to wonder why Ron hadn't gotten in touch or what Hermione had been about to say before she left. But then he would be overcome by the, now familiar, feeling of loss and cease to care about the answers to his questions.

After a week of gloom and despondency, Harry was startled out of his torpor by the sound of the doorbell. He rushed to the door hoping against hope that it might be Hermione, but his heart sank a little when he saw who it was.

"Hiya Neville,"

He grunted, leading the way back into the living room. As he settled back onto the sofa he saw Neville's eyes flick cautiously around the room, and realised for the first time what a mess the place was in. A collection of dirty mugs and plates had accumulated on the coffee table, the curtains were still closed and books and parchment littered the floor. Neville grinned nervously as Harry flashed him an apologetic look.

"Sorry about the mess,"

He muttered, flicking his wand at the dishes causing them to soar past Neville's head and land with a loud crash in the kitchen sink. He then turned his wand to the curtains, causing them to tear apart with such force that the left hand one ripped all up the middle. Cursing violently, Harry flicked his wand a third time and repaired the damaged fabric.

"Sorry about that," he repeated, "maybe I'll just leave the books, I'll probably set them on fire or something."

Neville grinned,

"Doesn't matter Harry…"

He seemed to be working up the courage to say something, reminding Harry so forcibly of Hermione the previous week that he had to look away.

"Harry, do you mind if I ask Ginny to the Christmas Party at work? As my date I mean."

"Sure Neville."

Harry looked at him, whatever he had been expecting it hadn't been that.

"We've been split up for almost two months now, you don't need to ask me, Ginny can do what she wants I'm not her keeper."

"Oh,"

Neville looked confused for a moment,

"I thought -"

He blundered to a halt, shamefaced.

"What?"

Harry was intrigued now. His misery over Hermione temporarily abated.

"What is it Neville?"

"Well you haven't been out much in the last few weeks and I thought that - that - well, I thought that you were still in love with Ginny."

Harry almost laughed.

"No Neville, I'm definitely not in love with Ginny anymore."

Neville grinned with relief.

"Oh well, I thought I'd come and ask anyway, I didn't want to step on anyone's toes. So if that's not what's wrong then why have -"

"So how is everyone?"

Harry cut across loudly.

"Just the usual, Seamus is still trying to get a job in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Lavendar's finally managed to open her beauty salon in Diagon Alley, Ron's still depressed, Dean's got -"

But what Dean had Harry didn't care, he had fixed on Neville's last statement.

"What do you mean Ron's depressed? What's wrong with him?"

"About Hermione."

Neville's eyes widened with shock.

"Didn't you know?"

Now Harry was hanging on Neville's every word.

"Hermione? What happened? I haven't spoken to Ron for nearly three weeks. Since -"

Before they got engaged, he thought.

"Sorry Harry I thought you knew. I thought you'd be the first to know. Ron proposed to Hermione and she said no."

Time seemed to stand still. To Harry the silence in the room was almost palpable; Neville's words seemed to be stuck on a loop in his brain. She said no. Harry's world seemed to have shrunk down to that one simple phrase.

"She what?"

Harry finally managed to croak.

"I know, everyone thought she was crazy. They've been together for four years now, ever since seventh year, it seemed only a matter of time before they got married. It was weird."

It was as though someone had flicked a switch in Harry's brain. Suddenly he understood what Hermione had been about to say when she left: she had never been engaged to Ron! He felt as though he was reaching the end of a long dark tunnel. Hermione must have had her reasons for turning Ron down and maybe, just maybe…

Suddenly another thought occurred to him.

"Why hasn't Ron told me about this, or even Hermione?"

For a moment Neville looked uncomfortable.

"Erm… I dunno Harry. Ron's just been moping about his flat like I said. No one's really spoken to him all week. As for Hermione, well, I dunno about that either. I thought you'd be the first to know."

He paused.

"Sorry if I've put my foot in it Harry, I should've let them tell you… I suppose I better go now."

Harry looked up with a start.

"No, you don't have to do that. Stay for a drink or something, it's been a while since we caught up."

"No I really have to go Harry, I've got to get to work. Those venomous tentacula won't keep themselves!"

Grinning, Harry showed Neville to the door.

"Well you'll have to stop by again sometime soon. See you then."

As the door shut Harry felt like jumping for joy. Hermione and Ron weren't getting married anymore! That meant that he might have a chance at things with her, it meant that maybe she felt the same way. That meant… Well - that meant that Ron would be heartbroken. Harry was brought down to earth with a considerable thud. It was all well and good that Hermione was single now, but could he really do that to Ron? It was insane that he was even contemplating this. Well, there was only one way to find out for sure.

"Ron mate, are you there?"

Harry knocked on the door again.

"I heard about - well… I thought you might want to talk."

Silence.

"Ron?"

"Go away! I don't want to talk to anyone."

He sounded really moody Harry thought. Not the best opportunity to ask permission to go out with his ex-girlfriend, but Harry knew that the longer he left it the harder it would be.

"Ron, let me in. I'm not going away until I can talk to you. It's important mate… please?"

The seconds ticked away and still there was no response. Ron clearly wanted to be left alone. Had he been like this since it happened? Harry was about to knock again when he heard a scrape of movement from within and the click of a key turning in the lock. A mop of fiery hair appeared in the gap in door.

"Waddaya want?"

"Hey mate, can I come in?"

Silently Ron opened the door and stepped aside to let Harry enter the flat. The place looked almost as bad as Harry's own had before Neville's visit. Dirty crockery littered every available surface, a plant - received from his mother at Christmas - drooped wearily in a corner devoid of sunlight and a rumpled hollow in the centre of one of the sofa cushions spoke of long days in which Ron had not moved from that spot.

Ron himself did not look much better, Harry observed as his bestfriend followed him into the room. Ron's scarlet hair looked as though it hadn't seen a brush in weeks, dark circles rimmed bloodshot eyes and the remnants of yesterday's dinner still clung to his T-shirt. Harry smiled sympathetically,

"You look a wreck Ron… I heard what happened, I'm sorry - you should have come to talk to me, you know you can talk to me."

Something flickered in Ron's eyes as Harry spoke, and he frowned when he'd finished.

"How do you know about that, did you speak to Oliver Wood? No one else knew about it."

Now it was Harry's turn to be confused.

"What are you talking about; Neville told me. What's Oliver got to do with Hermione?"

"Hermione?"

Ron frowned.

"What do you… You think I've stayed here because Hermione said no?"

Ron's face cleared and he actually laughed.

"I'm not depressed `cause she refused - almost expected it actually - I got fired Harry!"

"Fired? But I thought that… OK you better tell me what's going on."

Ron sighed and flung himself onto the sofa, propping his feet up on the table.

" Hermione and I have been having…"

He groped for the right word.

"… problems for a while now. I thought maybe if we got married it would make things better. I know, I know, not the best idea in the world. Anyway the day after she turned me down I went to practice and - well to cut a long story short, I broke Oliver's nose by accident, the coach his temper with me and I got fired."

Harry stared at him, completely gobsmacked. Her he had been thinking Ron was heartbroken over Hermione and it turned out that Ron was in mourning for his job as Reserve Keeper for Puddlemere United. He felt for his friend, but this made things so much easier. If Ron wasn't too bothered about his relationship with Hermione, maybe it meant that Harry had more of a chance. Suddenly he realised that Ron was speaking to him.

"So how are you and Hermione, has she spoken to you yet?"

There was a look in Ron's eyes that Harry didn't understand.

"What are you on about, Hermione did come to see me once, but… well, she didn't even tell me you had split up. Why? Should something have happened?"

Ron grinned. It was the first time Harry had seen him smile since he came in.

"She's in love with you mate, she told me so when we split up, well I guessed really. Anyway I don't mind, I think you should go for it… but if she hasn't said anything…"

For a second Harry stood stock still as waves of sheer joy and astonishment washed over him. This visit was so not playing out as he'd imagined. Then before he could think better of it he apparated to Hermione's house with Ron's laugh still ringing in his ears.

She looked stunned to see him. Not the best response in the world, Harry thought, but never mind.

"Hi Mione, do you mind if I come in? It won't take a minute."

She smiled and he followed her inside. Unlike Ron's flat, Hemione's home was in pristine condition. There was nothing lying around that shouldn't be and the whole place looked as though she had just finished cleaning. On second thoughts, maybe she had, Harry noticed the rubber gloves in her hand and the smell of polish in the air. Hermione herself looked as beautiful as ever to Harry. Her cheeks were slightly flushed and wisps of honey coloured hair trailed across her face where they had escaped from the knot at the back of her head. He cleared his throat; it was now or never.

"I've just been to see Ron."

Was it just his imagination or was she blushing even more now?

"He said that… well he said when - when you and he broke up that you…"

He trailed off uselessly as Hermione stared at him in silence. This wasn't very encouraging. He took a deep breath and said in a rush.

"Ron said that you told him you were in love with someone else."

Harry wasn't sure whose face was redder, his or Hermione's. He wanted the ground to swallow him up. How could the man who defeated the most evil wizard ever know be afraid of asking a girl if she loved him? This was worse than asking Cho to the Yule Ball in fourth year. Perhaps, he realized, it was because Hermione meant so much more to him than Cho ever had.

"Damn him!"

Hermione finally exploded. She looked close to tears.

"How dare he tell you that, he had no right. I'm so sorry Harry; I won't let this affect our friendship I promise. It's just… I'll just - what are you grinning at?"

Harry stepped up to her and took her hand; he didn't think he had ever felt so happy in his life. Hermione had as much as admitted that she loved him, it was wonderful!

"I don't want you to forget about it Hermione, and I don't want to go back to being just friends either, because I… I love you too."

Hermione couldn't have looked more stunned if he'd just told her he'd adopted a Blast-ended Skrewt.

"I love you Hermione,"

He repeated.

"I think I always have, that's part of the reason why I called it off with Ginny. It wasn't fair on her if we were still together when I was in love with you."

A Huge grin was slowly spreading across Hermione's face. She looked as though she was about to burst with happiness.

"Do you really mean it Harry, you're not just saying it because of what Ron said? I was going to tell you that day that I came round, but… but I thought you didn't care, when you said…"

"Twit."

Harry laughed fondly, wrapping his arms around her. He looked down into her eyes and then bent his head to kiss her. As their lips touched, he tightened his arms and pulled her closer.

"I love you Mione,"

He mumbled as he deepened the kiss. When they finally drew apart Hermione's face was flushed and he was grinning from ear to ear. Then Hermione frowned.

"But what about Ron? What's he going to say?"

Harry smiled and stroked her face.

"Don't you worry about Ron, he'll be fine. He seemed quite pleased for us before he realised there wasn't yet anything to be pleased about. He's seems more upset about losing his job, but I've had an idea about that as well. I know some people that I'll have a word with. People tend to anything the Boy Who Lived asks I've found. I think Ron might prefer playing for the Chudley Cannons anyway."

He grinned again and kissed her smiling face.


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