Tim Colon Tim Colon 2 649 2003-07-14T04:06:00Z 2003-07-14T04:06:00Z 1 4258 24274 Personal Use 202 56 28476 10.3501 Clean Clean MicrosoftInternetExplorer4
Disclaimer/Thanks: If I had created Harry Potter and its associated products, *I* would be richer than the Queen of England. Alas, seeing as how I am not, we all know I don't own them, don't we? I just do things with them that would probably make Rowling shudder. ;)
Keep those reviews coming! They really motivate me to crank out things faster! Don't worry, it will keep coming regardless, but as I get more reviews, the motivation just goes through the roof! Hope you enjoy the story!
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The pair walked in silence, taking in the beauty around them. Sun dappled clearings and tall, majestic trees marked their way back to the Burrow. Hand in hand, both Hermione and Harry were deep in thought. Harry was still reeling from the entire day's events; from Ron's heartbroken reaction to the incredible time he had just spent with the woman now holding his hand. A tumult of conflicting emotions was crashing through his head: remorse, love, anxiety, wonder, guilt, and even a lingering arousal. All of it was making coherent thought difficult. All he knew for sure was that he still had no idea what to say to Ron when he had to face him again.
Hermione was no less worried. One of the biggest reasons she had never been able to tell Harry about her true feelings for him was fear over exactly what had come to pass earlier in the day. She knew that Ron harbored deeper feelings for her than he admitted; she had started noticing their fourth year. Events after the Yule ball had only confirmed her suspicions.
She wished it didn't have to be this way. The emotional side she usually kept hidden away wanted to make both Harry and Ron happy. She hadn't been lying to Mrs. Weasley - she loved Ron. Why did things have to be so complicated?
Lost in their own thoughts, neither Harry nor Hermione noticed they had almost made it back to the house. Emerging from the woods, they looked up in surprise as a familiar voice came to them from not too far away.
"Hello."
Ron's face was a study in contrasting emotions. Easiest to spot was the hurt. Almost as easy was embarrassment. There were others there too though, not so easy to read unless you knew him well: regret, longing, and the stubborn courage that both of his friends knew so well. It broke Hermione's heart to see him standing there before them, most of his dignity stripped away. She wanted to go and throw her arms around him, but she knew he had met them here rather than in the house for a reason. All she could do was wait and see what he had to say.
His voice came to them softly, barely audible. "I'd be lying if I didn't say I was hurt. I found out from Mum that this just happened. At least you haven't been keeping things from me."
"You know we wouldn't do that Ron," Harry said quietly.
"I'm not sure what I know right now. My two best friends are now……….well, I guess a couple, right?" He was looking right at Hermione, and quickly dropped his gaze. "I won't lie and say this isn't hard. I wanted to hate you! I did, for a while earlier. It's going to be awhile before I get used to this. There's one more thing I need to say, too, before I can try and forget."
Harry watched as Ron walked up to Hermione and looked right into her eyes. He'd never forget the look on his friend's face at that moment - he wore a bittersweet smile that made Harry hate himself.
"I think you know how I feel about you," the redhead said softly. "I never told you, but you're too smart not to have known. I have to say it once, even though I know you don't feel the same way." She was watching him, tears in her large brown eyes.
"I love you Hermione." She made as if to speak, but he rushed on. "I always will a little. That will never change. I only ask one thing - give me time to get over this. We've all changed a lot in the last couple years, and I am not as blind as I was. I can see how you two feel about each other. Part of me always knew." He smiled then -- that crooked grin she usually loved to see on his face. Seeing it now was tearing her apart.
"You and Harry are the best friends a guy like me could have. I won't lie and say I wasn't ready to tell you both to bugger off for a bit. Mum knocked some sense into my head though. I just wanted you to know……….I'll always be here for you." His eyes moved to Harry. "For both of you." Ron's eyes were damp, and seeing him standing there, a shadow of his former self, Hermione could take no more.
"Oh Ron!" She threw herself at him, a mixture of happiness and sorrow fueling the tears that made their way down her face. He stiffened in her embrace, and Hermione realized sadly that there would always be a distance between them now; something that her love for Harry had put there permanently. She held him close; desperately wishing that things could be as they used to be between them. Nothing is ever easy, she thought to herself with regret.
He pulled away after a moment, discreetly rubbing the moisture from his eyes. Hermione watched as Harry tentatively approached his friend, seeing a shadow of the despair she had hoped to banish flicker across his face. Before he could speak, Ron reached out a hand and grasped his shoulder.
"You're a lucky man mate. Take care of her." A playful smile danced across his face. "If you don't, I think I will have to knock you on your arse." The two stood there for a moment, silently communicating in some way Hermione couldn't comprehend.
Without another word, Ron spun on his heel and made for the house. Heart aching, Hermione watched him go. Neither she nor Harry spoke for several long minutes. When the silence was finally broken, the words he spoke were full of a terrible sadness.
"Why must I bring everyone I love pain? Will it always be like this?" He turned to look at her, and she could see the emptiness in his eyes.
"Harry, the people who love you and who follow you support you because of the person you are." Her voice was passionate. "No one blames you for the people who have died. You are the best person I have ever known. Never blame yourself for all this pain. We both know who hurts us. It's always been him-Voldemort." She pulled him into her arms then, and after a while felt him relax and return her embrace. He leaned back, still holding her, and she could see some life had returned to his eyes. Hand in hand, the two of them returned to the Burrow.
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Hermione was waylaid the moment she set foot in the living room. A wide-eyed Ginny Weasley walked up to her and bodily dragged her up the stairs and away from Harry. Letting herself be led away, she gave him an apologetic smile. He thought he faintly heard Ginny's voice saying "Is it true??!!!" before her door closed. Finding himself alone, Harry made his way upstairs to Ron's room.
He found his friend sitting on the bed, reading over a recent quidditch catalog. Ron looked up, a neutral expression on his face, before acknowledging Harry's presence with a nod. Motioning him over, Ron spun the open book around and stabbed a finger down next to an entry.
"Check this out Harry, the new Firebolt. And here………" His finger moved across the page, "……….the book I want, A Keeper's Guide to the Game, 5th edition. What say we head on over to Diagon before dinner and have a look?" It was a blatant peace offering, and one that Harry was glad to accept.
Smiling warmly, Harry nodded. "That sounds good to me. Let's stop by Gringott's too. I never treat myself, and I may just buy that new Firebolt."
A knock on the door interrupted their conversation, and Ginny soon peeked her head in. "Herm and I are going to do some shopping. We'll be back before dinner."
"Harry and I are going too," Ron told her. "Let's all head over together, and we can split up once we arrive."
Ron and Harry made their way downstairs with Ginny, and found Hermione waiting. The three friends looked somewhat warily at each other, but once Ron smiled they all did. It wasn't exactly like old times, but it was a start.
A brief trip by floo powder later the four students found themselves in the always busy Diagon alley market district. Harry gave Hermione a quick kiss as they parted (which fascinated Ginny, who watched intently; and which caused Ron to look away and shuffle his feet.) The boys then headed towards the bank for Harry's money while the girls moved off towards the book and clothing area.
Gringott's was always an interesting experience for Harry. This trip proved to be no exception, although not for the usual reasons. As he rode the special roller-coaster like transport through the underground passageways, Ron asked him a question he had not been expecting.
"How did it happen?" he asked, just loud enough to be heard over the sound of the cart. Harry didn't have to ask what Ron meant. He took a moment to gather his suddenly wildly scattered thoughts. With a deep breath, he tried to answer what he knew was an important question.
"When Sirius died, I went numb Ron. I kept seeing it, over and over. All I could think about was watching him die, knowing I was to blame. As summer went on, all I could think of was all the bad things in my life-the Dursleys, Cedric, Sirius, Voldemort. I wanted to just hide, forget about all of it. I couldn't take the pain." A haunted look passed across Harry's face, and Ron stayed silent, willing him to continue.
"Last night, it finally all became too much. Even with you and Hermione here with me, I felt alone, and I knew that the pain would never go away. I went out to the woods to be alone……..and I won't deny that part of me thought about just not coming back." Harry stared blankly ahead, lost in his own memories as the trolley hurtled towards the vault.
"She must have been watching me. She came up behind me in the woods, but all I could see when I looked at her was her dying in place of Sirius. I was convinced if I let her stay near me, she would eventually die. I ran. I'm not sure how long I ran for; it is a blur to me now. But she wouldn't let me get away from her. She told me……….." He hesitated, not knowing how to say this to Ron. The words Hermione had spoken to him were private, and he wasn't sure he wanted to share this.
"You don't have to tell me mate." Ron looked at him, understanding on his face, and Harry knew that he deserved to hear the truth. Moreover, he realized Ron probably needed to hear this to be able to begin getting over Hermione himself.
"She told me I wasn't alone. She told me she loved me." It came out in a rush, half strangled. "I don't think I'll ever forget how she looked at me. And suddenly……it was like I was seeing her for the first time. I had always kept my feelings for her hidden-there was always a reason not to tell her how I felt. Part of me wasn't even sure what the feelings were. But when she told me what she did, the reasons all seemed unimportant. I wasn't confused about it any more. I love her." He looked steadily at Ron, watching his reaction. "I don't deserve her. I know I don't. But I love her so much it hurts."
Ron was silent for a moment. Harry was starting to worry that his words had only widened the gap between them when his friend finally spoke.
"I'm glad it was you." He looked Harry in the eye. "If it can't be me, I'm glad it was you Harry. And you're wrong mate. You two deserve each other." A small smile crossed his lips. The cart slowed suddenly, coming to a complete stop in front of a familiar vault. "It looks like we're here."
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As she had expected, the interrogation began shortly after they parted from the boys.
"So, are you going to tell me how it happened?" Ginny was eagerly looking at her, waiting for an answer. "Was it romantic? I bet it was. I want to hear all the details."
Hermione let out a small sigh of exasperation. Realizing she wasn't going to get out of this one, she turned to answer. "It happened so suddenly, I barely had time to think about what I was doing or what I was saying. He was………..so sad." Now that she was talking about it, Hermione let it all come out in a rush, speaking her heart without thinking.
"All I could think about was taking the sadness away. All the reasons I've never told him how I felt-they all just melted away. I was still afraid he would reject me, but when it happened all I could think about was him. I NEEDED to tell him how I felt. I've loved him for so long. I had kept it inside for so long," she whispered. A lone tear welled in her eye.
Ginny looked at her friend with a smile. "I am so happy for you I could just burst. Wait until the girls hear about this! They are going to be beside themselves with excitement and envy. We've all been hoping the two of you would finally get together. You're perfect for each other. The only ones who didn't see it were you and Harry."
Cheeks flushed, Hermione averted her eyes from Ginny's amused expression. "Has it been so obvious to everyone then? How I felt?"
A soft snort answered her question. "We all knew. We were ready to try getting you together ourselves pretty soon, seeing how you both were denying everything all the time. I honestly think Lavender was ready to make a play for him herself," she added slyly. Pulling her friend in for a hug, Ginny whispered in her ear, "Honestly Herms, I couldn't be happier for you both. You'll be brilliant together."
"But what about you and Harry?" Hermione found herself asking, surprising herself.
Soft laughter answered her. "Oh Herms, you know I've been over that for AGES. Any fool can see he only has eyes for you, anyway. Of course I'm jealous," she said with a mock frown, "but I'll get over it." The famous Weasley grin appeared on her face.
The two girls shed a few tears then, and laughed as they walked at last into Flourish and Blotts. Hermione was just about to examine a copy of Advanced Arithmancy when a voice she recognized called out from nearby.
"Well, so much for a PLEASANT shopping experience." Draco Malfoy was standing near a stack of potions books, eyeing Hermione with distaste.
"Honestly, they'll let ANYONE in here. It's a shame they don't have separate stores for the mudbloods. To force TRUE wizards to mix with your lot is a disgrace."
Before Hermione could open her mouth Ginny was there. "Look Herms, it's the lower half of the bell curve. Sod off Malfoy if you don't like our company. God knows you won't be missed."
"Almost as bad as a mudblood, a Weasley" Malfoy sneered. "Looking for used books again?"
"At least my father isn't in Azkaban," the young redhead said loftily, watching his face purple with rage. "I heard most of the Malfoy assets are frozen while the Ministry investigates your family's holdings, Draco. Looks like all that money you prize so much won't be there for you to buy people with for much longer, will it? Think you'll be able to afford your position on the Slytherin team again this year?" she said mockingly.
"You don't know anything, you miserable bitch!" Draco made to take out his wand right then and there, but Hermione already had hers out and was pointing it right at him. He grudgingly took his hand out of his robes. Composing himself quickly, he folded his arms in front of him and looked scathingly at Ginny.
"I take it back, you know less than nothing. My father won't be in Azkaban for much longer, and then……….."
"There you are Draco dear!" Narcissa Malfoy came striding around a corner, false smile splayed across her face. "We MUST be going. So sorry we can't stay and chat," she said airily. Both the other girls had to fight hard not to gag at the false sincerity. Mrs. Malfoy grabbed Draco and half-dragged him out of the store. Hermione watched the two moving away, her face troubled.
"He was about to say something he wasn't supposed to just then," she said to Ginny. "I wonder what's going on."
Ginny laughed. "You think too much Granger. Don't let that half-wit ruin our good time." She stared after Malfoy briefly, her face pensive. "It's a shame such good looks are wasted on that one. Oh well, there are still clothes to shop for and good looking boys to impress!" Dragging Hermione off, Ginny didn't notice the concerned look still in her friend's eyes.
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A few hours later, shortly before sunset, the four teenagers met up again for the return trip to the Burrow. Ginny made quite a fuss over Harry's new Firebolt, which was truly spectacular. Cherry red, the broom was sleek and obviously built for great speed and maneuverability. Even Hermione, hardly the biggest quidditch enthusiast out there, was duly impressed. Ron was carrying a qudditch keeper's book and some souvenirs from his beloved Chudley Cannons. Ginny had a new outfit (which was slightly too racy for the conservative Hermione's tastes), and Hermione had a new book of her own and a new summer dress. The quartet made the trip back to the house and quickly stored their purchases in time to head downstairs for dinner.
Harry came down first, and found that Fred and George were already seated at the table. They both got up and patted him on the back. "Smashing, Harry!" George exclaimed. "We've just heard the good news. You'll do well together."
"Thanks," he stammered, which caused them both to howl with laughter.
"Here, a little something to celebrate, mate." Fred handed Harry a stick of chewing gum, and without thinking, Harry popped it in his mouth with a quick thanks.
"I don't believe you just did that, Harry," Ron said, having just sat down himself.
Something odd was happening to him. He realized in horror that he had just willingly put a piece of candy given to him by a Weasley twin into his mouth. As the brothers watched in anticipation, Harry's lips began to swell. Slight at first, soon his lips were almost three times their normal size. Fred and George were laughing so hard tears were coming out of their eyes.
"It's our latest invention," George cackled with glee. "Bubble Lips Bubble Gum! Just a special localized engorgement charm. It'll be hard to kiss Herms with lips that size, eh Harry?" Even Ron, Harry noted with disgust, was laughing hysterically.
"Oh grow UP you two," Hermione said in exasperation, making her way downstairs. Brandishing her wand, she spoke the charm to return Harry's lips to their normal size. Her own lips were twitching with suppressed mirth, Harry noticed. He couldn't help but laugh himself once he was back to normal.
"I'll take three packs," he said immediately. "I can't wait to try these out on Dean." He grinned, and Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Boys," she muttered under her breath.
Dinner passed as it usually did, with the laid back camaraderie that was the hallmark of the Weasley table. Hermione found she couldn't eat much, however. Draco's final words were bothering her. How could he know Lucius was going to be released from Azkaban?
When she voiced her concerns aloud though, Arthur Weasley quickly stepped into the conversation.
"Malfoy is finished. He was caught with the other death eaters by Dumbledore himself. He'll never breathe free air again, and good riddance."
After the table was cleared, George and Fred left for their rooms, leaving Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny at the table. Talk soon turned to the upcoming year at Hogworts: what they thought classes would be like, who the new defense against the dark arts teacher would be, and what they were all going to focus on over the next two years for their N.E.W.Ts.
Hermione had set a new record, achieving an outstanding score in every O.W.L. she had taken. Harry had done better than he expected with 9, and Ron had scored 7. Harry wasn't surprised when Hermione started lecturing them. Strangely, he realized he found it cute now. Maybe it was the sound of her voice, or the way she gestured with her hands to emphasize a point. Or maybe I am just a lovesick git, he thought with amusement. Hermione noticed him smiling during her lecture, and scowled at him.
"I am focusing on Arithmancy and Transfiguration," she said with certainty. "Maybe Charms as well, but the others for sure. You two should really decide what you're going to do yourselves," she told Harry and Ron. "It's never too early to decide, and it's bad to wait until the last minute."
"Harry and I are going for Defense against the Dark Arts," Ron stated.
"I'll need to get my potions up to snuff first though," Harry said mournfully. "McGonagall told me I needed that for Auror training. To think, my fate may rest in part with Snape. Life isn't fair."
"Enough talk about school," Ron cut in suddenly. "Let's set up some lights out back and have a go on your new broom Harry. You promised me I could get the first ride." He was grinning like an idiot. It was good to see some of his old spirit back, Harry thought. Maybe everything would be alright after all.
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The broom was magnificent. Ron and then Harry streaked across the lawn, one of them on the Firebolt and one on Ron's Cleansweep, switching periodically. They laughed as they flew; guarding a makeshift goal against the other's quaffle throws. They had been playing for hours when Harry noticed Hermione watching them from the back yard, a smile on her face.
Ron noticed too, and the two friends touched down cleanly nearby. Proving he was indeed becoming better at picking up on signals, Ron excused himself, giving the other two some privacy.
Smiling at his girlfriend (God I love how that sounds, he thought), Harry took Hermione in his arms and buzzed her lips with his own. She noticed with an inner smile that he still blushed slightly when he did so. "Today turned out to be much better than I thought it would," he admitted.
"I knew he would recover quickly," she said. "Ron just had a crush on me - like you did on Cho." Her eyes sparkled with mischief.
"Oh, that was a low blow Granger. You want to talk about crushes, how about……Victor?" He smiled devilishly. She wanted to kiss him in the worst way, and just keep kissing………….
"Touché'," she said, laughing. "Truce?"
Laughing, he nodded eagerly. "Truce."
Both of them settled in one of the chairs in the back yard, holding hands and watching the waning moon. The stars were brilliant in the night sky, and Harry couldn't remember a time when he had been much happier. A thought occurred to him then, and he glanced sideways at Hermione, wondering if she would be amenable.
"Hermione?"
"Yes Harry?"
"Go for a ride with me?" He motioned to his broom, gleaming red in the moonlight.
"Oh I don't know Harry, you know I am not a good flyer, and heights aren't really my thing." She looked nervous.
"Please? I'll be in control the whole time, and I promise I'll keep things from getting out of hand. You know I would never hurt you." He was looking deeply into her eyes as he said this last, and Hermione knew he was talking about more than just the broom ride. He is so beautiful, she thought. He doesn't even know it, either. Smiling, Hermione stood up.
"I know you wouldn't hurt me Harry. I trust you." She could see he understood her answer, too. He returned her smile. "Let's go."
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He loved to fly. The wind rushing past, speed almost out of control, the FREEDOM of it. When he was in the air, it was like his spirit was set free. All the cares of his often dark world faded away, and there was just him and the open sky. He thrilled in it. Exhilarated in it.
And now the woman he loved was sharing it with him. She sat tentatively on the broom behind him, holding him tightly around the waist.
"Relax Hermione, you're going to cut off my air," he joked. She gave him a playful swat on the back for his trouble. Chuckling, Harry kicked off gently from the ground, and they were off.
He took things slow at first, keeping them close to the ground while she got used to being on the broom behind him. After several minutes of flying lazy circles about the yard, he decided she was ready for more.
Flying higher, Harry took them to just above tree level. He heard her sharp intake of breath, and felt her tense, but he just hovered there while she got used to being so high. After a moment, she relaxed again, and the two of them flew slowly over the trees, taking in the view all around them.
It was beautiful, he thought. Looking behind him, he felt a sharp pain in his heart as he watched Hermione. She was the most beautiful thing of all - a small look of wonder was on her face as they flew above the treetops, the stars bright in her eyes and the wind blowing her hair behind her in a chestnut wave. He knew right then that he would never love another woman the way he loved her. The thought of losing her was a physical pain. He knew he would die before letting her come to harm.
A state of utter happiness washed over Harry Potter. He was flying; his favorite thing in the world, and the most perfect woman imaginable was flying with him. He wanted to shout out his bliss. The broom, responding to his desires, picked up speed. The trees sped by as they flew faster, faster.
Hermione knew she should be afraid, but she wasn't. Her arms tightened around Harry as they sped across the night sky. A feeling of euphoria was settling over her, and the last of her caution was thrown to the winds as the English countryside raced by. Hermione Granger laughed aloud, reveling in the freedom that the amazing man she loved was sharing with her.
He eventually slowed the Firebolt, and brought them down in a small glade awash in moonlight. They were both breathless, still recovering from their wild flight. Harry's eyes were practically aglow, and Hermione realized that she had just been shown something that was rare and precious to him.
"Thank you. That was wonderful," she said sincerely.
"So are you," he blurted out. Blushing and smiling her special smile, Hermione stepped into his arms. She initiated their kiss, brushing her lips softly against his. His hands tangled in her hair, and she fought back a moan at the way he was kissing her. Her lips parted, and his tongue softly slid into her mouth.
Her scent was all around him-she smelled of flowers, and books, and the subtle smell of the evening breeze. It was intoxicating. SHE was intoxicating. He forced himself to break the kiss, struggling to regain his composure. At least, he noticed with some satisfaction, she was having as much trouble doing that as he was.
"I love you." It felt natural to say that, he thought. He knew he should have said it a long time ago.
The effect of those words on Hermione was immediate. With a smile that illuminated her entire face, she kissed him again.
"I love you too."
They stayed that way, together under the stars, for at least an hour. They talked about everything that had happened that day, and what might happen in the remaining time they had for summer vacation.
"Have you really thought about what you want to do after school?" she asked him after awhile.
"A lot depends on what happens in the next two years with………Voldemort." He felt her cringe, but pressed on. "If he is vanquished, then I really think I want to play Quidditch. But if he is still a threat, then I will try and become an Auror. It needs doing," he responded to her look of concern. "What about you?" he asked with a smile.
"I am thinking of going on to University and becoming a professor or a researcher," she told him.
"You'll be great at either," he said enthusiastically. "I've never met anyone as driven or as smart as you are." Harry grinned on seeing her blush.
As much as they wanted to stay longer, it was getting late, and they needed to get back and get to sleep. Mounting Harry's broomstick once more, they made their way slowly back to the Burrow.
Lost in his thoughts, Harry almost didn't hear Hermione's sudden sharp intake of breath. "Oh my God!" she cried out.
Harry, following her gaze, stared in shocked disbelief.
The Burrow was burning.
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Author's Note: I know, I am evil for leaving off like that. =P I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and again a big thanks to all the kind reviewers, especially my fellow H/Hr Shippers. HMS Pumpkin Pie forever! See you next time!