A/N: Hi everyone! Apologies for another horribly late update, things are going crazy, particularly school. A big fat chunky THANKYOU to every single person who reviewed, I was smiling through each one! Anyway, on with the show. This is my favourite chapter so far, it was so fun to do, and I hope you guys have fun too! (hey that rhymed!) Julie! My amazing beta! Merci beaucoup!
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"Drosophila melanogaster."
"You do realize that that's a really stupid password right?"
"I'm Head Boy." Harry smiled as the portrait swung open and they strode into the common room. Hermione was seated at the table. In front of her was a huge, thick, old and dusty Ancient Runes book. In front of the fireplace, curled up on one of the couches, was Crookshanks.
Asleep.
Perfect.
Hermione looked up from the tome and smiled. "Hey guys."
"Hey," said Ron as he and Harry walked over to the couches. He was smiling in a rather sinister way. Thankfully, Hermione didn't notice.
"Why are you boys still here? Weren't you going somewhere?"
"Well, yeah... We came to get you."
"Get me? No Ron, I'm not going. I told you, I have to finish up some stuff today."
"You are doing no such thing," said Harry.
Smiling amusedly, Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Really, Harry? And why is that?"
"Because you are coming with us," Harry said with a smug smile.
"Am I now?" Hermione crossed her arms. "And what makes you think I will?"
Harry then took the sleeping Crookshanks by the sides, walked across the room to the table, and dangled him in front of Hermione. The big, orange, rug-like creature opened his eyes and stretched, then yawned.
"And what has Crookshanks got to do with this?" demanded Hermione.
"Crookshanks here will suffer a terrible fate if we leave this room without you," Harry said rather dramatically.
"Blackmail, Harry? You're actually resorting to blackmail now?" Hermione scoffed.
"Anything to get you out of here, Hermione."
"Well, I don't want to get out of here."
"You sure you don't want to?"
"Yes."
"Really sure?"
"Yes Harry, now let go of Crookshanks," she said impatiently.
"You're really really sure? You don't want to--"
Seething, Hermione stood up. "Yes, Harry I'm sure! Let go of Crookshanks, NOW!"
"Nope." At this, Hermione let out a cry of frustration. She reached over in an attempt to grab Crookshanks from Harry. Unfortunately for her, when one has been playing Quidditch for seven years, one develops amazing reflexes. Harry quickly pulled the cat out of her reach. Ron, who had approached them, seemed to anticipate what she was about to do. With a flick of his wand, "Accio wand," Hermione's wand emerged from her right jeans pocket and flew into Ron's free hand. He pocketed the confiscated wand immediately. Hermione was appalled at their behavior and looked nothing short of murderous.
"Nice catch, Ron."
"Thanks, mate."
"So," Harry said as he turned to Hermione again, "now that you're wandless, you will have to comply, or else."
"Or else what?" she spat. Ron raised his wand again, "Accio tweezers." A pair of tweezers appeared from nowhere and landed in his left hand. Hermione's eyes widened in horror as Ron repeatedly opened and closed the silvery object whilst looking rather deviously at Crookshanks.
Harry matter-of-factly spoke up. "We'll start with his whiskers--"
Rare though it was, Hermione started to panic. "Alright! Alright! Just, just put the tweezers down and we'll talk about this like civilized human beings."
"...and then maybe pull out a few eyelashes..." The boys were scrutinizing Crookshanks like a couple of hairstylists assessing a client.
"Boys, please..."
"...and we should really trim those eyebrows..."
"STOP IT!"
"I'm sorry Hermione, did you say something?"
"Stop, please. Let Crookshanks go. I'll... I'll go with you," she said in defeat. She plopped back down on the chair and started putting her things away.
"It'll be fun, I promise." Harry gave her an apologetic look, but still did not let go of Crookshanks.
"Well, it better be," said Hermione rather harshly, "blackmailing me away from an entire day's worth of studying. Honestly, I don't know what could be worth eight hours of my time other than Ancient Runes and Transfiguration."
"If it wasn't the least bit beneficial, we wouldn't have bothered to come up here and threaten to de-fur dear Crookshanks, and with tweezers for Merlin's sake!" reasoned Ron.
"He's got a point you know. This is for your own good Hermione, really."
"Yes, yes, get out more, looking paler by the second," she said distractedly as the last of her papers were being stacked into a neat pile. "Wait here; I'll go grab my stuff."
Hermione trudged up to her room, retrieved some cash, and fished out a light jacket from her wardrobe. She checked her hair as she passed by the mirror and decided to pull it back in a ponytail. As she did, Hermione noticed something else. She was indeed looking underfed. The dark circles were larger than she remembered, and, she couldn't believe it, wrinkles! Actual, live wrinkles! No wonder the boys were so worried, she hardly looked like herself anymore! She sighed. "You are killing yourself, Hermione," she mumbled as she stared at her reflection. She sighed again and made for the common room, the boys were bound to be getting impatient by now.
"Finally," said Ron as Hermione came down the stairs. He handed over her wand.
Boys and their attention spans...
"You ready to go?" asked Harry. He'd released Crookshanks, who had resumed napping on the couch.
"Yeah," Hermione said with a smile. They went through the portrait hole and into the corridors.
**