A/N - I got fidgety, and posted the chapter ahead of the post date. :)
This story is a sequal to my first short-story, "Fix You". I would suggest reading it first to understand this. This story will be the sequal to the angst ending.
With this story, I am using my second favourite Coldplay song, titled "Swallowed In The Sea". I hope you all enjoy, and please review. This is my first sequal, and my first fic written without Harry as the main character, so any opinions are more than welcome.
Any lyrics embedded within the story are not mine, and are from the song.
Chapter 1
If I Could Write It Down
The ocean was something she always loved. Looking out over the water, the constant rolling of the ever-approaching tide, the whistle of the wind from distant lands, and the cry of the sea birds remaindered her of her childhood, and the days she spent frolicking along the endless beaches; forgetting the outside world and the loosing herself in the sunshine and ocean spray.
She closed her eyes, and inhaled the salty air deeply. It was here, on the top of a grass hill overlooking the ocean that she came to relax and-for a while-forget her worries and painful memories. Over the years, she tried many places to try and calm herself in times of discontent, but she found her niche here; on the grassy hills near the ocean.
As she opened her eyes again, she looked far out at the horizon, towards the endless expanse of ocean and sky. The sun was fading as she sat on the grass-casting the islands of wispy clouds that sat in the sky vibrant shades of Jupiter red. The ocean, though strong enough to make white-capped tides, smoothed as it branched out from the shore, and reflected the yellow and cyan sky in its multitude of ripples.
Most people, if they walked by and saw her sitting like this, would think that Hermione Granger was at peace with herself; content, happy, and with little to no problems. A part of her would agree with that assessment. She was well off in many aspects.
Hermione had her dream career and life: as an author. She did finish her Healer Training, and stayed for a year or so at St. Mungo's, but found her mind too closed in that line of work. She wanted to expand, use her whit and imagination, and do something from the heart. Writing, therefore, came as a perfect idea. She loved books herself, and for years wondered if she could do it herself.
Beginning to write while training, she soon had several manuscripts of various genres by time she finished at St. Mungo's. Daring to take a chance, and with support from her then fiancé, Ron Weasley, she submitted them to various publishers in both the magical and muggle worlds.
The response was surprising to Hermione. Several publishers offered to publish one of her first stories, called "Song of Sorrows". It was a romance novel, with a very tragic ending. The book was published in both magical and muggle bookshops, and after a few edgy weeks, became a very popular read. Many reviewers and readers told her how wonderful they thought she portrayed the main character's heartbreak in the end. She generally smiled at this comment. None of her readers knew that the heartbreak was really based on her own, stemming from that one night now so long ago, however always feeling like yesterday.
The night Harry left, now two years ago, continued to stay in Hermione's mind as one of the worst of her life. So many things went wrong during that rainy night in London, she sometimes found herself crying with just the shear memory of it.
After that night, things changed for Hermione. She couldn't keep it secret from Ron, and at first, he tried to accept what she felt, but she could tell things were starting on a negative slope. Ron tried to bury his feelings of inferiority, but he never could. They stayed together for about a year, and he encouraged her to write in the hopes she would cheer up.
When the book was published however, Ron knew the truth behind the heartache it told of. Hermione, knowing what was going to happen, admitted she still loved Harry, and always would. They separated, and Ron was deeply affected by it, however they did keep in touch. Contact slowly dwindled, and eventually was lost. Hermione hated for it to happen, but she did all she could to keep it going.
When Ron left, and her book was going into print, Hermione tried to look at it positively, thinking it could be a new start. She had friends from St. Mungo's, as well as a few other aspiring and known authors, and she was beginning to move on, however painful an experience it might be.
She tried dating, but found it very difficult. She stopped for a while, but then found comfort with an editor for one of her author friends. They dated for a while, and Hermione was happy. But when the book came out, and she moved around the country and Europe for book signings and readings, memories of Harry and her heartbreak came to life once more as people asked about her character's love and discord, and she fell back into her despondency.
Hermione was dwelling in the missing. No matter how many times she tried to escape it, she still, two years later, missed Harry deeply. She tried countless times to get in touch with him, but never received a response. Anytime she saw a white owl flying through the air, which seemed to happen all too often to her, her heart would flutter at the notion it could be Hedwig. Of course it never was, and her mind would fall into depression, being punished for its hopefulness.
The wind gave a light gust, and Hermione's wavy and frizzy hair swayed. Looking out over the calm ocean and sky, she wondered where Harry went to. No one, not even the Ministry, knew where Harry was. The Daily Prophet ran articles about it for weeks, and in the end, offered one thousand Galleons for any picture or information on Harry's whereabouts. Of course none came; Harry was smart enough to keep himself hidden.
Ginny was heartbroken as well, but Harry left a note for her explaining that it was not her. At first she did not believe it was the truth, and she probably still did, but she moved on with her life. The Weasley family in general was dreadfully worried about Harry, thinking he may have been kidnapped or worst. It thus fell upon Hermione to tell them what happened in the muggle park. It was one of the toughest things she had to tell them. Luckily for her, Ron helped the family understand, and she still corresponded with them.
As she changed her sitting position due to her leg falling asleep, she thought once more back to that fateful night. She sighed heavily as her head fell, and she looked at the swaying grass as it seemed to move with the dark blue waves of the ocean.
Harry showed how she was going wrong with things in her life. Up to that point, she was deceiving herself, and Ron. She knew she loved Harry, but continually tried to bury her feelings. Although Harry was guilty of the same thing, he did try in the end. Hermione was the one who messed up, and she could only blame herself for what happened to Harry.
She remembered her novel, and the main character's reaction to her love's departure. In the novel, the main character- who's name is Conny Kisupeck-writes in her sadness, a song. The song, titled "A Hundred Miles Long", tells of how the girl realized she made the mistake that cost her everything, and how she would give her world to see the man she loves so dearly again.
Conny ends up waiting a long time to hear anything, and feels she deserves to wait. She broke his heart, and knew the wait would be long and painful. She held out though, knowing that even though she made such a terrible mistake, they belonged together. In the end, the man returns to where her song mentions at the end; an old road that is, one hundred miles long. It was there that they spent the most romantic night of her life, far away from towns and cities, sitting on the hood of his car, watching the stars poke their way into the deep and majestic night sky.
Hermione wrote it all down, knowing full well it was her own dream. She relived that rainy night so many times in deep sleep, she sometimes woke up with a sweat, thinking it was the rainwater in the dream. Whenever she saw rain, felt rain, heard rain, even heard the word "rain", she would remember that night. She never set foot in that muggle park again after that night, and she moved when she and Ron split, and now lived on the coast, just up the road from where she was now sitting.
A part of her honestly thought that with the book going into print, and being spread around both the muggle and wizard worlds, that Harry would understand what it truly meant. She knew Harry was smart and clever enough to see read in between the lines, and pick up some of her more deep meanings. The book had been out for months though, and although she heard from countless fans and reviewers, she never heard from the one person she wanted too.
Realizing what she wrote for her character, she began thinking that she would receive the same fate. She would have to wait, get lost in her memories and her life, only then to be found by who she was always trying to find.
It bothered Hermione if this would be the case. She already waited two years, and heard nothing. Waiting longer would only cause her to fall deeper into her sorrow. She was already low as it was, and didn't need to go farther.
Closing her eyes again, she sighed once more, and wiped the tears from her cheeks. She could not even count how many times she daydreamed of turning around, and seeing those wonderful green eyes staring at her. To see her first true love, to hold him again, and kiss him. To kiss him again was more than a dream to Hermione; it was a fantasy she constantly thought of.
Lifting her head, she looked back at the increasingly dark sky and ocean, and tried to calm herself, inhaling slowly and relaxed. Even though she had friends now, some closer than others, she still had to find manners to relax herself and find reason to get up, and move on.
Exhaling her held breath, she gave her arms a rub, and stood herself up. She dusted off any grass, and took one more look out over the ocean, and started her way back to her house.
Walking up the road, lit by a few very spaced out streetlamps, she wondered what she would do next. She was thinking of starting another book, but was lacking the imagination to start. Her parents asked her earlier that month to come and visit, so she was thinking of doing that soon too.
Just as she came to the top of the hill the road went up, she turned to her right, and started down her little street. Her house was the only one on it, so she considered it hers. Walking slowly, in a straight line down the side of the paved road, she looked up at the purple dominated sky, and found a few stars making their existence known. She paid close attention to the brightest one, and smiled up at it.
'Oh Sirius, if you could only see us now' she whispered to the star. Her smile slipped away slowly as she once again felt sad and upset. She looked back to the road, her house approaching with good pace, when she noticed something on her mailbox. She focused hard on the object, and her heart gave a jolt it had not felt in years.
Sitting on her mailbox, was indeed-after a second glance-a white, snowy owl. Hermione's mouth fell open, and she did nothing more than run as fast as she could towards the animal. It was watching her approach, and as she slowed down abruptly in front of the mail box, the owl bobbed its head, and glanced at the girl thoughtfully.
Hermione moved closer to the owl, and it very slowly, as if practiced many times before, held out its leg to the bushy haired and winded woman. Hermione's neck shivered as she took notice that there was a note attached. She was still trying to discern if this was Hedwig, but not seeing her in such a long time, it was difficult. Hermione very carefully, trying not to startle the beautiful owl, took the letter, and looked at it.
The owl stayed sitting on the mail box, looking expectant at Hermione. Her hands-trembling from the anxiety of opening the note, and the coolness of the summer air-slowly unraveled the note, and she gasped as her eyes fell on the writing.
Again folks, please review. Thanks!
Spell / Name Meanings:
Conny Kisupeck = Conny Kisu- = L. concisus: broken, -peck = L. pectus: heart (Conny
Kisupeck = broken heart)