Harry Potter and the Last Prophecy
Previous Version Titled 'Waltzing of Hearts'
Version for 6th Year, following Order of the Phoenix
Author: Webmaster Pikachu (pikacenter@hotmail.com)
Notes:
This fanfiction, like all 6th year fanfictions, contains spoilers from the 5th book. Be sure to
read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix before reading this fiction if you wish to prevent spoiling the book. It
isn't that expensive. :)
Please enjoy this next chapter, and leave a nice little review for me ^_^
I am aware that this
chapter seems to place Harry out of character, and seemingly moves straight to H/Hr very quickly, but please read it
carefully and perhaps you'll see what it all turns out to be in the next chapter. Maybe those that wish to take a
shot at it could stick their ideas in their reviews. Kudos to anyone that gets it ^_^
Chapter 2: The Last Month of Summer Vacation
The Hogwarts Express came to a stop and the four sleeping teenagers were awoken from their sleep. The sun had set, and the stormy sky outside looked more ominous then it had before their minds had drifted off. Harry stood up, and put out a hand to help a groggy Ginny up and on her feet. Ron and Hermione stood up half asleep on their own accord. It seemed to Harry that everyone needed a good sleep that night, weather permitting.
They made their way soundlessly off the train. Their cloaks, which they had not removed when they stepped onto the train, were still tightly wrapped around them as the rain tried to seep through. No one was on the train platform to greet them, but a thestral attached to one of the school carriages awaited not far off on the path that lead to the great wooden doors leading into the school. Of course, Ron, Hermione, nor Ginny could see the dark creature, which was probably a good thing, Harry mused.
"There's one of those invisible thestrals, right Harry? You can see it, can't you?" Ron asked. Harry nodded solemnly.
"Just hope you never obtain the ability to see one, Ron." Harry said darkly. He hadn't just seen Cedric Digory die now, he saw his own godfather Sirius fall through that magic portal. Two times he had to see death. Harry's stomach turned over, for perhaps the millionth time that summer. So lost in his own grief he unconsciously stepped into the carriage. His glum eyes stared straight past Hermione's, who was sitting across from him. He didn't seem to notice her worried look.
Hermione was rendered unable to speak, finding no way to express some comforting thoughts for Harry. She merely stared, and when Harry came back to his senses as the carriage came to a halt before the great doors of Hogwarts, his eyes caught hers. Grateful for her concern and awareness, but embarrassed, he looked down at his feet. Hermione decided it might be a good idea to talk to Harry later, in private. No Ron or Ginny even. Just one person might be easier… Her mind turned to Harry's life, and his hardships.
The four of them stepped out of the carriage and walked up the steps leading into the old castle. The great doors were open just enough to let them in where they found Remus Lupin waiting for them.
"Ah, your finally here, good to see you all! Ah, Harry, you have grown a bit! And you, Ron and Hermione seemed to have sprouted a bit… And Ginny, well, Ginny seems just like her old self, odd isn't it? Ah well… Five weeks isn't very long, now is it?" Remus commented, giving Harry a warm pat on the back.
"Here here, dinner is waiting for us all in the Great Hall, now come on before it gets cold. I'm afraid its only us, the Order had to abruptly leave only half an hour ago, something about a breach of security or something…" Remus continued, "Know anything about it?"
"We were attacked by a dementor on the train, Remus." Harry said without any inflection in his voice. "We are all okay now, I fought it off and Hermione revived us all. We weren't on our guard, so I'm thankful no one was hurt."
Remus didn't know what to say at first, but he closed his open mouth which drooped at the mention of the dementor.
"I'm glad your okay, but you must be tired. Even chocolate isn't enough to completely remove the effects of a dementor, as I think you well know. Some good food and a good night's sleep will have you back to normal though. Come on, let's have some dinner. It's getting late, you know."
Taking the lead, Remus lead them to the Great Hall, and they found dinner for five at the end of the Gryffindor table. It wasn't the food they normally had during the school year, where every meal was a feast, but it was definitely good. Lamb chops and veggies and pumpkin juice, creamy mashed potatoes and several chocolate cookies… Harry was beginning to drool.
They all took up a seat, which Harry sitting in between Ginny and Hermione, for a change. Ron sat with Remus across from them, beginning to eat as fast as he possibly could. He always had loved food, thought Harry. However the friendly atmosphere of the Great Hall wasn't enough to pull Harry from his dark thoughts, and he ate quietly without much voice in Ron and Remus's conversation concerning quidditch.
"Why aren't you having a say in their little chat, Harry? I know you love quidditch." Ginny whispered to him. Harry looked at Ginny, but could find nothing to say and gave a half-hearted shrug. Hermione noticed this of course, as she had been keeping one eye on Harry the entire of her waking evening. While Ginny could figure that something was troubling Harry, Hermione knew for a definite fact that he had more then mere troubles bothering him at the moment. She shot an angry glare at Ron, who was talking excitedly. Why hadn't he noticed Harry's recent emotions, why hadn't he been concerned?
"Git," Hermione muttered under her breath. He was too busy talking to notice Harry's mood. 'It's not that Ron's a bad guy, its just he can be so unwary at the times when he needs to notice things.' Hermione thought. She turned to Harry and leaned close.
"Harry, we can talk later, okay?" Hermione whispered into Harry's ear. He turned quickly to her, his face holding little emotion save for the dull gleam in his eye of understanding. He made no move to say no… Hermione would have her way this time. He didn't have much of a choice anyways; he had no energy to push Hermione away now, away from his burdens and grievances.
It took only a moment for Hermione to understand Harry. She was happy that he would finally have a chance to let it out. In fact, she would be happy to help in anyway possible, knowing that Harry's responsibilities were far greater then her own.
Hermione glanced at Harry's plate, and noticed Harry had eaten very little. She nudged him with her shoulder.
"You should eat some more Harry, go on now." Hermione coaxed. Harry stared at his plate for a few minutes, then picked up his fork and began to slowly eat away at his mashed potatoes. They normally tasted wonderful, but tonight… they tasted like cardboard. Harry gave a small sigh, inaudible to Remus and Ron. Remus wasn't attuned to Harry's mental state at the moment either, obviously. He was still chatting away with Ron, seemingly engrossed in some of the stories of the great tricks and gags Remus and his friends had pulled back when he was a student at Hogwarts. While those stories included his father, Harry paid no attention to them. He could barely think at the moment, his mind still swarming with dark memories.
It took Harry what seemed like hours to finish enough food on his plate to satisfy Hermione. However, when he had, Hermione suggested to Ginny that they take Harry upstairs and send him off to bed. Ron was still giddy with excitement at being back at Hogwarts and chatting with Remus, and their conversation was still continuing when Hermione told them that she, Ginny, and Harry were going to bed.
"Okay then, I'll be up soon I think." Ron replied, and he returned back to his conversation. Hermione huffed and stood up. Harry and Ginny followed her as they left the Great Hall, silently. As soon as they were out of sight of Ron and Remus, Hermione slung and arm around Harry, who in turn threw his own arm on her shoulders.
"I knew you were tired, now come on. Don't even think… Something is obviously also bothering you." Hermione said. Ginny looked up at her.
"Why didn't you want Ron to see you helping Harry out, Hermione? It kind of seemed that way, you know…" Ginny asked, innocently. Hermione took her time in replying.
"Even if he is being a git tonight, I'm not going to hurt his feelings when I show Harry some affection. He gets all weird when I have an arm or two around Harry. I think he likes me actually… Anyways… Just to avoid problems, you know." Hermione replied.
"Oh," said Ginny simply.
"Don't be silly. Harry needs our support right now… He's so quiet now too… Aren't you Harry?" Hermione said. Harry didn't reply of course, and only gave her a confused look at the mention of his name for the third time. He didn't seem to have been listening. "I guess I'm his voice for now."
They eventually came to the portrait of the fat lady that guarded the Gryffindor common room, and Hermione said last year's password. It worked, and Hermione was grateful she had remembered the old password. She didn't know what the new password would be yet.
The common room was very quiet. A fire burned in the old stone hearth, but it was small, and only cast long shadows into much of the room. Being near the enormous windows, the sound of the raging storm outside and the arcing lightning reached the eyes and ears of the three students. They made their way to collapse in the soft loveseat next to the fire, as it was the closest to the flames out of all the furniture in the room. While it was meant for only two people, it was adequately large enough for everyone, and they fell into it and stared at the fire in silence.
Harry feel asleep long before Hermione had noticed, and by the time she had, Harry had fallen side ways onto her lap. She glanced at Ginny to make a quiet remark, but found that she two had dozed off, falling asleep upon Harry's side.
"I guess we're sleeping here tonight," Hermione said quietly to herself, yawning. She took her wand and, using a few charms, brought over an identical loveseat. She raised her legs, and the legs of her friends with a bit of magic, and brought the loveseat to with the one they were resting on. Dispelling the enchantments holding up her friend's appendages brought them softly to rest upon the new addition. Hermione set her legs down as well, and placing her wand back in its place, wiggled down to a more comfortable position and promptly fell asleep, deciding that Ron could deal with their sleeping arrangements, whether he liked them or not. Right now wasn't exactly a good time to make a fuss, especially with Harry asleep with his head now lying on her stomach.
When Ron stumbled into the room that night, having racked his brain for thirty minutes trying to guess the password, he didn't even notice his sleeping friends. He was tired and temperamental, and walked blindly up to the boys' dormitories, falling into his soft bed.
A dark cover of clouds hung over Hogwarts the next morning, but the rain had stopped, as well as the thunder and lightning. Ginny was the first to awake, but at opening her eyes she decided she didn't want to move, her head still resting on Harry's side. The lulling warmth of his body was enough to make her cheeks pink, but she could hardly mind. It was a special moment… to be so close to her only true crush. She knew it would never happen, Harry would never like her in any romantic way, but it seemed to be more of a sisterly brotherly thing now, which was perfectly acceptable. A special moment next to her adopted brother… Yes, that was it. She smiled, closing her eyes and resting with a peace that had been lost the night before.
It was Ron who happened to awake next, and he stood up from his bed and groggily made his way out of the room and down the stairs to the common room where he say the most peculiar thing: two loveseats side by side, making what appeared to be a great bathtub of cushions. Curious, he inched closer. What he saw shocked him into swearing.
"Bloody hell! What did they do last night?" Ron cried in surprise, waking Hermione and Harry. Ginny, awake of course, knew that Ron's reaction would be very loud, and she had braced herself against the sudden noise.
Ron didn't know what to think… Ginny lying with her head on Harry, Harry lying with his head on Hermione… So cozy… So close… Ron was instantly jealous of Harry.
"Ron, quiet down, we're trying to sleep here…" Hermione mumbled softly, half awake. Harry awoke, but feeling Ginny on his side, and Hermione under his dark hair, and knowing full well he still had his own troubles to worry about, was confused to the point of not talking once more.
"Hermione! Harry is lying right below your… chest…" Ron pouted. It was Hermione's turn to come alive.
"Ron! I couldn't care less, honestly… You have no idea what Harry was feeling last night… And when he finally fell asleep, all I wanted to do was let him sleep. He was so comfortable too… Ron, there's a point we crossed last night. It doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that we're here for Harry. And last night you weren't! You didn't even notice I had to force Harry to eat! You didn't even notice Harry didn't speak at the table last night, so don't give me a hard time." Hermione growled back loudly, knowing full well it was Ron's jealousy speaking this morning.
"What's Harry's problem then? He always gets away with everything, Hermione. You know it. What does he have to worry about?" Ron returned angrily, glaring at Hermione.
"You really can't put it together, can you?" Hermione asked, this time quietly, baiting her words with poison. "Do you understand what Harry's responsibilities entail right now? Do you know what responsibilities he forces upon himself? If you haven't noticed, Harry has kept this school and the students safe for five years. On top of that he has kept us safe, and this most particularly. I know you know what it means to be protective, but what Harry has done for us…" Hermione's voice trailed off as the thought leapt upon her conscious mind once more, and the guilty gratitude of the truth washed over her. She spoke little for a few minutes as she tried to regain her thoughts.
"This is the least I can do." Hermione finished simply. She looked down at Harry, who's eyes where glued on her own, rapt with attention.
'She understands me,' Harry thought quite suddenly, his mind finally able to comprehend it all. 'She understands me more then myself'. A tear fell on his face. It was Hermione's.
"Yes," whispered Hermione, seeing the understanding dawn upon Harry's eyes. The dull shine disappeared as Harry began to tear, but no drops fell.
"Ron," began Harry quite unexpectedly, "Hermione's right. Don't let jealously cloud your heart now. You're a Gryffindor."
Ron stood there, looking defeated and confused. He could understand how he was being a poor friend by not noticing Harry's condition, and how Harry was always sticking up for everyone at Hogwarts, but… he was still confused. He left from the room without another word to take a nice long shower.
"He'll come back to us… He always does." Harry said quietly after Ron had left. Staring back into Hermione's eyes, he added, "Hermione, I am absolutely grateful you've been with me now when Ron hasn't. I thought I was loosing my mind last night. I guess you already knew that though…"
"Don't forget Ginny, she was here too," Hermione said, a smile dancing across her lips.
"Oh yes, and Ginny too," Harry said, glancing down at Ginny, braving to pat her on the head. She seemed ready to purr.
Harry was doing better, Hermione thought, but he still was troubled. The dementor attack seemed to have struck a nerve in Harry when he wasn't on his guard. Perhaps the transition back to Hogwarts happened to fast for Harry to remember to take care of himself. Perhaps it forced him to drop his guard. Hermione could only imagine, she doubted Harry would know himself.
Silence ensued for quite some time, and the three dwellers of loveseats became more conscious of their current positions with each breath. They had never been so close to each other in all their lives. Why had that night chosen to pull them together? Harry's heart beat away, and each beat he became more aware of this odd realization: why? He grew panicky, not wanting to feel intrusive, not wanting to invade Hermione's personal space… his head resting on her… Not wanting for Ginny to feel uncomfortable at the same time… Each beat of his heart… each pounding thump in his chest. A curious tickling sensation could be felt in the general vicinity of his scar… Uneasiness crept upon him, and before he could stop himself he had bolted upright. Pain like burning lightning coursed through his scar, and he howled in agony, catching Hermione and Ginny so off guard they yelped.
"Harry? Harry?!" Hermione sat upright, throwing her arm around his neck once more, pulling him down into the cradle of her left arm. She didn't have to ask any questions. She knew what it was causing Harry pain… that accursed scar.
"My… It's… my scar…" Harry said, sputtering for a deep breath. The pain had seemed to mysteriously recede. Ginny moved in for a closer look, having put her hands on the sofa next to Harry's left leg, her knees right behind, so that she was on all fours. Her head was close to Harry's now, and she took one hand off the loveseat to brush away the black hair hanging over the scar. Her hand brushed against Harry's skin and he became uneasy once more. Harry made to move his head backwards now, but something was blocking him from going backward. Panic ran through him once more. An urgent uneasiness… He began to writhe in the clutches of Hermione, but she held on to Harry so tightly he made so progress in escaping their grasp. 'To close!' Harry's thoughts screamed at him. A jolt of pure torture ran though the scar, so great that to Harry the Cruciatus curse was child's play now… Unconsciousness ebbed at his free mind, and Harry went limp. He fell back into Hermione's cradling arm, his eyes closing…
The pain receded once more, just before Harry felt he could stay awake no longer. Ginny had flung herself across his legs, and Hermione had taken her right arm around to hold Harry into her left arm.
"Why did you panic when I put my arm around you, Harry?" Hermione asked, softly now. Harry, seemingly half-dead with pain, and not wanting it to come back, remained still, but spoke slowly.
"I…" Harry began.
"Harry… I need to know… Don't hide anything from me. Right now, I need the truth." Hermione prodded, almost sternly. Harry looked up at her meekly. He looked away as he replied, however.
"I felt… uncomfortable… claustrophobic… uneasy… … uneasy … being next … no … so close…"Harry rambled, taking long, drawn out pauses. He looked at Hermione, and she glared at him with a determined expression. "you two so close to me…" Harry croaked out. His face went red.
"Are you saying you don't trust us?" Hermione asked, her voice even and sincere.
"I do I do! It's just… at those moments… Perhaps I forget that trust… Oh I don't know!" Harry cried out, but not in pain. He put his head into his palms and said no more, feeling his eyes watery once again, this time the agony of it all flowing out and down his arms onto the back of Ginny's robes.
Hermione's mind clicked at that very moment.
"Here, Harry, stand up please." Hermione instructed. She took out her wand and forced the second loveseat to move back with a charm. Harry looked at her straight in the eyes for a few moments.
"Okay," he said. He stood up. He walked around. Hermione whispered something into Ginny's ear, and she stood up as well, however Harry hadn't noticed.
"Harry, ok now come over here." Ginny said, and Harry, seeing no problem with it, walked over. She bent up and whispered into his ear, "Kiss her, on the lips."
Harry stood as still as stone, as if he had been petrified. Hermione's eyes were on Harry, staring intently, waiting for the kiss she had asked Ginny to ask for her. Harry's mind was racing.
'What? Why did…? Why does…? Why do I have to kiss her? What if she gets mad at me?' Harry thought. Nothing made sense, he didn't move. Hermione and Ginny were staring at him now. The pain returned to his forehead before he was even aware he had become uneasy. He collapsed to the floor, writhing and thrashing like a snake caught under a tire. While it pained her to do nothing, Hermione remained seated on the loveseat. Ginny was shedding her own tears now, and looked away, but refused to mess up Hermione's instructions. Harry looked at them as pain ripped through every last nerve in his head. Through his bulging eyes he could see Hermione sitting there, motionless. Ginny wasn't looking at him.
'Why?!' Harry cried out in his thoughts. 'Why aren't they helping me? Why am I suffering? No… surely not Hermione… surely not Ginny…' Harry's mind grinded along, he made it. 'What had Ginny asked me to do… Kiss Hermione… No, that's a test… Hermione and Ginny planned this… They're against me!' Harry let out a cry of pain once more, very much audible on the great common room as the piercing call of agony echoed back to its source.
'They would never be against me,' Harry's conscious said to him. 'What had Hermione said earlier, just before she asked me to do something… stand, yes, just before she asked me to stand… Do I trust them? Hermione and Ginny?' Harry looked up, holding his head still as the rest of his body flailed upon the ancient rug covering the Gryffindor common room near the hearth. He once again stared into Hermione's eyes, which had taken on a pleading look. 'I do… I know I do… I'd trust Hermione with my life. She would never hurt me, never become angry with me for long… a kiss… yes… a test of trust. She won't hurt me, or get angry… she'll love it… I know she will.'
Harry groped with his hands to find the edge of the loveseat, and finding it, he struggled up. He sat down, kneeling inward with his knees, leaning forward at the waist… He kissed Hermione on the lips…
Harry collapsed, the pain suddenly withdrawing and disappearing as if it had never been there, save for the noticeable tiredness accompanying it. He breathed deeply; like he had just held his breath for longer then he could possibly hold it. His mind floated as if the pain coursing through it moments before had been such that all his hours on this Earth were just as painful. As if the terrible burning sensation was all he knew while under its influence.
Hermione turned Harry around on the loveseat, with the help of Ginny, and he drifted off to a light sleep in one of the corners, Hermione at his side and Ginny still standing. Ginny, still letting tears drop from her chin at regular intervals onto her robes, was in a state of shock. She had never seen Harry so fragile in her life. While she knew Hermione had a clue what was going on, she could only guess what Hermione was thinking at that moment.
Ron, who had promised himself to get over it and stay over it, had walked in from the showers when Harry was first asked by Ginny to kiss Hermione. Of course, he hadn't known that, and he froze in incomprehension as Harry fell to the floor before the girls. He could see his sister was crying, and Hermione trying to control herself. Ron had remained unnoticed, until it was over, and Harry was asleep, and the words took form in his mouth.
"What have you been doing to Harry!" he screamed, rushing over to the side of the loveseat that Harry occupied.
"I don't know exactly what's been happening, but I have a general idea. Something is hurting Harry when he momentarily looses faith in us. His scar burns. I'll need to speak with Dumbledore on the matter, he might know what's going on…" Hermione explained. Ron had enough sense at that instant to realize the kiss was a fluke to test Harry, but still… jealousy had a way of finding him it seemed.
"Oh, well that just makes it all fine and dandy, now does it? Why'd Harry have to suffer? Couldn't you have done it another way?" Ron replied loudly in exasperation. Hermione shook her head.
"No, if Harry wasn't in a situation that he thought was real, he wouldn't risk something in the name of faith, he would either risk nothing, or feel like he was fully obligated. Ron, you have to trust me on this one." Hermione stared back up at Ron, and caught his eyes. "I know it was painful. It did a number on Ginny."
Staring back at Hermione, Ron took a few breaths. He nodded slowly. She seemed to know what she was doing. "Fine," he muttered.
Ginny had begun to compose herself, taking her sleeves and wiping the moisture from her face. She looked down at Harry. A rumbling sound came from her stomach… she blushed, as it was quite loud.
"Perhaps we should eat? We can wake Harry up with that spell of yours, Hermione." Ginny said weakly. Hermione thought that it was a good idea, and Ron was jumping around and saying, "Yes, yes! Thinking like a Weasley now! The way of the stomach!"
Hermione didn't want to wake Harry, but she too was hungry, and she was guessing Harry would be hungry as well. It was nearing 10:30 already. "Novo nervus expergefacio!" she said, waving her wand. Harry began to stir. He opened his eyes.
"Harry, lets go eat breakfast, shall we?" Hermione said. Harry nodded, and Hermione pulled him up from the couch, taking his unflinching hand. Ron and Ginny were already at the entrance, and Hermione pulled Harry along behind her. He was still a bit worn out, but the spell was enough to make it through breakfast, which was more like brunch now.
Upon entering the Great Hall, the tables were bare of any food, and Ron and Ginny were looking around confused. They didn't notice Dobby sneak behind them.
Dobby, with his mounds of knitted hats and socks, ran up to Harry and Hermione. "Good morning, Mr. Potter, Ms. Granger. Good to see your back at Hogwarts!" He cried.
"Hello Dobby! How are you doing?" Hermione asked, "Are they treating you well?"
"Of course, Ms. Granger. Now come with me you two, I'll put your breakfast on the table for you." Dobby said, leading them into the Great Hall and seating them next to Ron and Ginny. He snapped his fingers and a meal appeared before all of them. It was simple like last nights, but everyone could tell that Dobby had gone to extra lengths to get them all exactly what they liked.
"Thanks Dobby, very much," Harry said, somewhat softer in tone then normal.
"Tis my pleasure, Mr. Potter. Anything for you." Dobby replied, bowing and retreating back to the kitchen, leaving only a gentle puff of smoke behind.
Wanting to cement his faith in her trust, Hermione sat down, pulling Harry down close to her. He was about to pick up his fork when he was struck with another spasm of uneasiness. He willed himself to quell it, shutting his eyes and cringing, whispering, "No, I have faith…"
Hermione turned immediately to Harry, and from the mornings experiences knew it was happening again. She placed her hand on Harry's leg, soothingly. Ron and Ginny hadn't heard Harry's whispering, and hadn't seen Hermione's gesture, but knew something was going on. They chose to remain quiet.
The touch of Hermione… It stopped the uneasiness in its tracks. Harry opened his eyes and looked at Hermione.
"It's… Something is making me uneasy Hermione. Making me think what I don't want to think. After this morning, I don't think I could ever doubt my trust… Something is making me doubt it." Harry whispered to Hermione. She didn't know what to think, but knew that keeping an eye on Harry was enough to help stop these new feelings before they went to far. If she could connect with Harry before they consumed him in panic… it would be okay.
"Until we figure out what's causing this, don't leave my sight. If I can't be around, then don't leave Ginny's sight. It seems she has something to do with this as well. Whenever you can begin to feel it coming, I will see if I can notice it without you doing anything, but please try and tell me if at all possible. It seems this is perhaps a game of will." Hermione replied in an equally quiet voice.
"I won't, I promise." Harry replied. He looked down at his plate, and picking up his fork, he began to eat his breakfast, all the while noticing Hermione's hand still on his right leg, unmoving, as she ate her own.
By the time they had finished breakfast, Harry had felt two more waves of uneasiness, but they didn't even have the chance to fester with Hermione's hand seemingly guarding Harry from panicky thoughts. When they sat up from the table, Harry took Hermione's hand.
"Don't let go," Harry begged softly, so fully trusting Hermione's ability to keep the pain away from him he had no second thoughts on his mind. If his friends had felt the throbbing agony as well, they would have been more faithful then a boy and his dog.
Hermione only nodded, sincerely and without a doubt swearing not to let go. Realizing that herself, Harry, nor Ginny had taken a shower, they began to head back up to the common room. Ron, seeing Hermione was playing the leader for the time being, followed along behind them dumbly.
"So, Harry… Are you going to play Quidditch or what?" Ron asked, feeling uncomfortable with the silence that seemed to have fallen over them at breakfast.
"I don't know, Ron. I am beginning to feel like there are more important things right now, and that perhaps they should come first." Harry replied.
"Isn't the Gryffindor team important to you?" Ron asked, obviously trying to use his head and convince Harry to play. Harry stopped and turned around.
"What do you think will happen to the team if one of its members is lost to Voldemort and his Death Eaters, Ron? Teaching them to protect themselves, teaching them what I know about Voldemort, and then making time to watch over them… Occlumency lessons with Hermione… Mounds of homework… When, may I ask, do you propose I will find time to practice in the evenings? How am I supposed to concentrate on protection when I am looking for the snitch? And, if I try and do both things at once, do you suppose I'll have enough energy to stay awake for classes? I have to think about this one Ron. It's my unofficial duty now, so sorry if I have grown up a bit and accepted it." Harry said, trying to get Ron to think of the big picture, which obviously, he was beginning to see it. He shut his mouth promptly, as it had opened as he took in what Harry was saying.
Ginny went to go take a shower, and Hermione stayed with Harry. Ron was also with them, save for he wasn't holding Harry's hard. When Ginny came out, she switched places with Hermione, who went to the showers next. Harry was a bit worried at seeing Hermione go, but knew full well that Ginny was just as dedicated to his wellness as Hermione. When it was Harry's turn to go clean up, he turned fearful in spite of his brave persona.
"Harry, go on, it will be ok. If you begin to feel uneasy, just remember you trust us. We'll be right outside the showers. Nothing will hurt you. If you fear the pain, it will come. Don't fear it. If you can't stop it, throw your robe on and come out immediately." Hermione instructed. Harry nodded. He did exactly was Hermione said, and he went upstairs to the dormitories to grab a clean set of clothing. Coming back down, seemingly fine, he went straight for the showers. Ginny had her fingers crossed behind her back, but no one noticed.
Harry had nearly finished with his shower when he felt it. A wave of urgent panic washed over him. The soap dropped from his hand before he could put it back where it belonged as he tried to control himself.
"Nothing bad will happen… They're fine." Harry found himself repeating to the showerhead. It seemed to keep the urge to go mad at bay, but Harry didn't take any more time to finish his shower then absolutely necessary. He dried off hastily, throwing on his shirt and dark pants, the dark gray sweater embroidered with the Gryffindor crest, and his wizarding robe, his holly wand tucked into the pocket. Grabbing his dirty clothes from the night before, he rushed out. Panic crept on him with every second now, but it wasn't the kind that would cause him pain, at least not yet. It was the panic of not making it to Hermione, or Ginny for that matter, in time, and having to feel the wrath of his own flesh against him once more.
The scar began to feel tingly, and Harry was nearly at the door to the common room. Hermione could hear Harry dashing to the door, and she opened it quickly so as not to be slammed in the face should Harry try and open it. Harry blindly ran into her, slowing just enough to prevent them both from toppling over with his momentum. He leaned the left side of his head against her chest, breathing deeply in raspy breathes.
"It almo…" Harry began fearfully, but Hermione stopped him from speaking.
"I know Harry, I know." Hermione said, trying to calm Harry down. She brought her arms around him, holding him tight. Ron and Ginny stood silently, having nothing better to do. A few minutes passed.
"Hermione, can we talk please? I think I'm going mad." Harry finally said, resolutely. "Alone please, one person is hard enough." He added on a softer note.
Hermione glanced at Ron and Ginny, and they took the hint, leaving the common room altogether. She led Harry back to the loveseat by the fire, and they sat down. Harry glanced nervously at the floor.
"I don't know where to begin, Hermione. No, wait… I do. I was caught off guard when the dementor attacked us. I wasn't prepared to face the dementor. To tell you the truth, I was seconds away from falling under its curse when I finally cast a good Patronus. Seeing all of you sprawled on the floor had sent a chill up my spine. I thought I was going to fall as well. We were all going to die. My friends, my best friends, that had helped me so much, were going to meet their end because I had failed to keep my guard up.
"Seeing the thestral the other night turned me inside out. It reminded me of Cedric's death. And… Sirius." Harry choked on his name, but continued, "Life is so fragile, Hermione. How many times have I been so close to Death I could smell my own rotting flesh? It's horrible… But it isn't nearly as bad as seeing someone you care about die in front of your eyes. Not even close. Do not forget I also lost my parents. Four lives Voldemort has claimed from me. I want you to understand how I feel, but the most I want you to understand is my own words. Anything more would mean reality."
"I know what you mean Harry, but…" Hermione started, but didn't finish what she was going to say.
"Pray you never have to fully understand how I feel, Hermione." Harry interrupted darkly. "Anything beyond what you understand from my words is going to hurt you. Do your best to avoid it."
Hermione nodded her head, and looked expectantly at Harry. She knew he had more to say, but was unaware of what it concerned. Harry continued.
"What's do you think of Dumbledore's Army, Hermione?" Harry asked flatly, looking directly into her brown eyes. Hermione hesitated as she thought up an answer.
"I think it's a wonderful idea to prepare students should they have to fight for themselves," Hermione concluded.
"Hermione… fight for themselves? No… You should have said 'fight for their lives.' Should Voldemort attack Hogwarts the students will be trapped in this castle. We are showing them how to fight, and yet they do not realize that to fight they are risking death? They do not realize that their friends, their comrades in arms in this case, may be meeting their end before the next day? They… they would have no choice to fight. Voldemort will likely attempt to slay most of the students should he become that close. Why sit and die when you can try and protect yourself, and your friends? Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw… houses of Muggle-supporters. Slytherin… Anti-Muggle. Hermione, if they get so far as to come inside, they are going to at least try and pit us against each other. It's just a huge mess… I'm worried." Harry explained. His voice was so sincere that Hermione wanted to cry. He had made such perfect sense… Should Voldemort attack the school… The students would have no choice but to defend themselves. The implications were threatening to stop Hermione's heart.
"Your saying we have no choice, should it happen? That we have no choice but to accept the fact that someone might be hurt? Might die?" Hermione croaked.
"Yes. In reality the possibility of an attack has been with us since two years ago. We have waited to long to face this probability. I feel responsible for these students, like I have
every year I realized I was compelled to fight for myself, my friends." Harry looked away.
"The whole situation is evil." Hermione replied, now in her own lifeless tone. "We have no choice but to prepare the students, organize them, train them… So at least they have a better chance if they are trapped. It is evil."
"Hermione… I can't play Quidditch this year. I feel… Horrible. My life has changed so much since our first year. Hogwarts has turned from a sanctuary to something breeding my own dread." A silver tear rolled down Harry's face. "Dumbledore's Army is going to swell its ranks this year. Let's hope it serves no purpose but to teach."
It was then that Hermione was able to truly begin to understand Harry. He was so protective of Hogwarts and the students that he was confused. However, it seemed as if he was becoming unconfused, and making sound decisions once more.
Harry turned back and stared back into Hermione's eyes, his own glistening, clearing begging for help.
"I will always be here to help you, Harry. I'll help you with Dumbledore's Army… I can keep track of members, plan lessons, research those lessons…" Hermione found no time to finish what she was saying. Harry had bound her in his arms, pulling her close in an embrace, thankful tears running down his cheeks. Hermione's eyes had shot open in surprise, but as Harry fell motionless on her cloak, she closed them.
A few minutes passed before Harry said anything, but he was unable to remain passive and finally spoke up.
"We should start figuring out how to organize it. If we want to be prepared for the start of school, we need to start now." Harry whispered. Hermione nodded, but Harry didn't see this. He only heard her say "Okay."
They set to work deciding how to organize the eventual several dozen members, Ron and Ginny peeked in around twenty minutes later, and seeing that Harry and Hermione were writing things on a piece of parchment, assumed they had finished their little talk. He still was unsure why Harry and picked Hermione as the person he wanted to talk too, but right now he didn't really care. Harry seemed semi-normal, and he wasn't sharing a special moment with Hermione. He definitely knew it was bad to be jealous… but what was he to do? Tell them no? It's not like they were boyfriend and girlfriend anyways.
"Look, helpers." Hermione said, nudging Harry in the side. Ron didn't notice as they were still sitting very lose to each other. She grinned, and then spoke loud enough for them to hear as they made their way over.
"Here, you can make posters. Ginny, there's some calligraphy brushes and large pieces of clean parchments in my nightstand. Don't forget some ink too. Here, this is what it needs to say." Hermione instructed, handing Ron an outline for an announcement. He moaned, but obediently waited for Ginny to come back with the necessary materials.
"This is serious, isn't it Harry?" Ron asked. Harry looked up at him.
"Yes. The announcement, which we want around fifteen copies of, was designed so that we can recruit more members, for the sake of the members, without giving away out identity and intentions. While I don't like it one bit, I fear the Slytherins will possibly try to thwart us. We need to make sure that even if an enemy should see this message, they would not really know much." Harry explained. Ron read the message to himself.
"Peril is upon us. It is here to choke us. We must unite in its face. We must drive it away. We must learn. Our friends are our only strength. Hogwarts is our home. We are Hogwarts. We are its breath. We are its continued pride, renewed with out beating hearts.
"All those who can swear themselves as its guard, unite. 10:00 AM, in the empty room next to Professor McGonagall's classroom, the day after school starts. 2nd years and older, please, but 1st years will not be shunned away. Those who bring evil intentions will not be accepted past the door. Previous patrons required to be there. ~ DA"
"How to you suppose you'll keep out the nasty buggers?" Ron asked. Hermione smiled slyly.
"A little charm… Those with good intentions will be able to pass through the door. Those with bad will find themselves unable to walk anywhere within listening distance, and further. The entire hallway will be off limits to them, I figure." Hermione explained.
"What year charm is it?" Ron wondered.
"We aren't suppose to learn it… I picked it up over the summer a couple years ago. It's very complex, but it's impossible to break." Hermione answered. "Now if you'll please make those copies… in neat handwriting. It isn't that hard, now is it?"
It was nearing bedtime now. Harry had just stepped through the portal to the Gryffindor common room. Hermione was right behind him. Ginny had already returned, and Ron was trying to catch up before the portal closed. He had stayed a bit extra to help himself to another serving of turkey. It struck Harry in that instant that he didn't want to go to bed.
"Hermione… I just thought… How I'm a supposed to sleep with these…" Harry trailed off. He was referring to his panic attacks earlier in the day. It was engraved in his memory like a tombstone might be engraved: permanent until utterly mutilated. Hermione stopped in her tracks, her thoughts suddenly on the problem that Harry had just explained.
"Your right. I can't just leave you alone anymore, can I?" Hermione agreed, sincerely. She didn't mind being around Harry, it was for his sake in any case, but… it was a difficult problem, but Ginny had overheard their plight and came over with a solution.
"Hermione, why don't we spend the night in the boys dormitories. Ron's my brother, I don't really mind. It's not like we sleep in our underwear either. It's just… The only way to stop a panic is direct contact. We can't avoid it. Until Harry falls asleep, you need to be at his side. When he falls asleep, you can take the bed next to him. I'll sleep on the bed on the other side of Ron. If you feel sleepy, come and get me and we can trade." Ginny said, somewhat nervously.
"Your right Ginny, I can't think of any other way. It's already late, so we should go to be now anyways. Go change into your night clothes, I'll stay with Harry." Hermione said. She wasn't nervous. The thought of spending a night with Harry, a bed away, didn't make her uncomfortable. Harry had fell asleep right next to her the night before. At the same moment of Hermione's ponderings, Harry had enough sense to keep his uneasiness from growing.
Ron wasn't too happy about the whole situation, but he admitted there was no other way and gave in. He went to get ready as Harry, Hermione, and Ginny made their way into the boys' dormitories wearing their Gryffindor nightclothes, which were comprised of a long sleeve flannel shirt and long flannel bottoms. They were all black, save for the red and gold at the neck and sleeve openings, and the Gryffindor crest on the front left.
Ginny was crawling into bed when Ron entered the room. Ron glanced at Harry, was already in bed. Hermione was sitting on the side of the bed with a book to keep her busy until Harry fell asleep. Ron laid down on his own bed and blew out the last of the candles. They said their goodnights, and Hermione picked up her wand, lit it, and then began to read. Harry immediately began to drift off to sleep, exhausted from the long day of worry, tears, diligent work.
In ten minutes Hermione could tell that everyone was sound asleep, and she made her way to the bed she would be sleeping on. She whispered "Nox," and the light on her wand disappeared. Setting her book down on the nightstand next to her, she climbed in bed, and her eyes began to close.
It hit her like a brick made of neurons. Her eyes shot open, and she turned to look at Harry. His face was contorted with fear, and the scar on his head was emanating a subtle, ominously green glow. If it was pain, he would have woken by now, Hermione thought desperately as she jumped back out of bed and ran to Harry's side.
"Nightmares," Hermione whispered. "Nightmares that he won't wake up from." She didn't want to imagine what they were. She sat upon the edge of the bed and placed her right hand on Harry's forehead. The eerie glow vanished at once, and Harry's face relaxed.
"I just can't sit here all night. Neither can Ginny." Hermione whispered to herself. Knowing full well she never thought of doing such a thing or expected doing such a thing in a million years, she climbed under the soft covers of the bed without hesitance. She squirmed close to Harry's backside and wrapped an arm under his neck, her hand resting on his slowly rising chest. She placed her other arm over Harry's side and with both pulled him close, not wanting her contact with Harry to break down when she feel asleep, as she wouldn't know if he was hurting or not. She shivered at the thought of Harry's nightmare just moments ago, and that eerie green light…
Ron gave her hell that next morning, but Hermione couldn't care less. Harry thanked her many times over the next day, but did not divulge the nightmare he had. "Too painful and terrible to speak of," he had said, meekly.
Dumbledore and the rest of the Order returned a few days later, but they restrained what they had learned from reach the ears of Harry and his friends. Dumbledore had said to Harry that he needed to pickup Occlumency lessons as soon as they put together a plan for Dumbledore's Army, and that he should not worry about the dementor attack. Seeing that Dumbledore wasn't concerned about the dementor attack anymore, Harry decided to save his questions for later. "You're perfectly safe here right now, Harry." He had remembered the Headmaster saying.
Harry felt compelled to bring up the topic of his sudden bouts of uneasiness, but didn't. Hermione, and Ginny at times, was enough to keep them at bay. Dumbledore had enough on his plate already, Harry figured.
The month slowly slipped away, and every day the four of them would be up from early in the morning to the late evening, working on plans for Dumbledore's Army. Ron, and even Ginny a bit, were getting worn out, but they trudged ahead. Harry and Hermione, on the other hand, were so dedicated that routinely forgot to eat lunch. They were thankful Dobby was around, as he brought it up for them in those instances.
Hermione was unable to leave Harry's side for long, and she was around him every possible second of the day, and night, for that matter. It was certainly an interesting relationship they shared, but neither of them took it in the romantic sense, which Ron was thankful for (He made a point to describe how 'tangled' Harry and Hermione were each morning, watching for pink cheeks. He found none.)
The day when school returned to session came quite suddenly, but Harry and Hermione, with the occasional help of Ron and Ginny, had completed their plans for Dumbledore's Army. Harry was somewhat eager for school to start now, the dull attitude towards it the night he first arrived had apparently vanished. He was on a mission now, Hermione concluded with a smile.