A/N - So, I was driving home and this just popped into my head and I had to write it. I think the idea was sparked by a friend who got recruited to be a "captain" for the company pool outings, even though she's barely ever played in her life.
Disclaimer: JKR's. Not mine. `Nuff said.
Hermione burst through the door of the flat she shared with Harry and Ron like a tornado, flung her bag in one direction, coat in another, and shoes in a third. Before Harry and Ron could process what had just happened, she was buried in a tattered, old, teal armchair in the corner of the living area and flipping frantically through a book.
"Bit keen, isn't she?" Ron said conversationally to Harry, as if this sort of thing happened all the time. He popped an orange slice into his mouth.
"A bit." Harry agreed. "I don't think she broke her record, though. Remember that time she forgot about an exam?"
Hermione wrenched herself away from the book long enough to glare acidly at the two boys, who artfully assumed their most innocent expressions. With a loud Hmph she turned resolutely back to the book.
"You did this to yourself, you know," Ron said, unsympathetic. "Didn't you get enough school at Hogwarts? And now you go enroll in a Muggle university?"
Ron shook his head, honestly incapable of comprehending why anyone would ever do such a thing.
"I don't need any comments from the peanut gallery right now," Hermione said snippily. "I'm very busy."
"I noticed," Ron muttered, turning back to the fridge to root around for leftovers.
"What're you reading, Hermione?" Harry asked politely, trying to keep things friendly.
"As if you care!"
"We do care!" Harry said defensively. "Just because we're too stupid to understand it…"
Ron nodded fervently, though it was hard to see with his head halfway in the fridge.
"Oh, don't give me that rubbish!" Hermione scoffed, but looked pleased all the same.
"Well. `Fess up." Harry smiled encouragingly.
"Um-" Hermione began hesitantly. "Er- well, you see, it's not, um, school related…"
Ron pulled his head out so fast he banged it on the top of the fridge. Rubbing it ruefully, he turned and exchanged a thunderstruck glance with Harry. Hermione's face hardened at their expressions and she turned back to the book.
"Wait, Hermione-" Harry wheedled. "You just, uh, surprised us."
Hermione's only response was to turn the chair the other way.
"Oh, just give it here," Ron said impatiently. He bounded over and wrestled the book away from her.
"RON!"
"Billiards for Beginners," Ron read slowly.
"Give it back!" Hermione pulled it out of his hands furiously.
"I didn't know that was one of your courses," Harry said mildly.
"It's not," came Hermione's muffled response. "Some friends invited me to go play with them tomorrow."
She placed extra emphasis on the word, and finished with a sniff. There was little sound besides the rustling of pages for the next minute or so. Harry and Ron carried out a silent conversation consisting of raised eyebrows and gestures. At last, Ron shrugged and resumed foraging.
"Er, Hermione?"
She sniffed, more haughtily than ever, to signify she was listening.
"You know- I could give you lessons, if you like."
Ron banged his head again as Hermione whirled in the chair. She was hanging over the back, her mouth hanging open unflatteringly.
"You know how to play billiards?" she asked in surprise. "I didn't know that."
"There are a lot of things you don't know about me." Harry waved a hand mysteriously. Hermione looked doubtful.
"Okay, there are a few things you don't know about me."
The skepticism remained.
"Alright! There are two things you don't know about me! And this is one of them."
"Would you really teach me?" Hermione asked hopefully, all traces of irritation gone.
"Of course," Harry bowed extravagantly. "What are friends for, after all?"
"Did you know about this?" Hermione demanded of Ron.
"Of course," he replied stoutly. Hermione looked back and forth between them, the expression on her face almost making them laugh.
"Oh, I could kiss you!" She finally squealed, leaping out of the chair. "I just have to go change. Don't go anywhere!"
They stood side by side and watched Hermione dash up the stairs two at a time, her book lying forgotten on the chair. A series of muffled thumps could be clearly heard. Ron turned slightly towards his friend.
"Harry?"
"Hmmm?"
"What's billiards?"
"I'm ready!" Hermione shouted, and appeared seconds later, dressed in jeans, a loose t-shirt, and sneakers.
"Brilliant!" exclaimed Ron. He walked towards the door, but stopped when he realized Harry and Hermione weren't following.
"What?"
Harry raised an eyebrow.
"What's up?"
"Uh, Ron." Harry said, trying, and failing, to be tactful. "Do you really think I'm going to take you into a building full of muggles and hand you a long wooden pole to wave around?"
Ron's face fell.
"Sorry, mate… that's just a disaster waiting to happen. Don't worry; I'll tell you all about."
"Like Hell you will," Hermione said sweetly. She then grabbed Harry's hand and yanked him outside.
* * *
"We'll take-" Harry arched his neck, surveying the room. "We'll take table seven, please."
"Of course, sir," the young kid behind the counter agreed, handing Harry a set of balls. "Enjoy."
"Come on, Hermione."
Harry led them over to a table in the corner of the room, pulled out the triangle and racked the balls. Hermione was fidgeting nervously, no doubt at actually learning something from a source besides a book.
"So, um. What do I do?" she asked.
"First we each need a stick," Harry said teasingly, causing Hermione to blush.
"R-right." She hurried over to the rack containing the cue sticks. Harry hung back to enjoy the sight of Hermione walking back and forth, pretending she knew what she was doing. Finally, he rescued her.
"Here, use this one." He picked one out and handed it to her; she accepted it with a grateful look.
"Ok, we're not going to worry about the game yet," Harry started. "We'll just focus on learning how to strike the cue ball. Okay?"
Hermione nodded nervously.
"So, I'll break. See how I'm standing? So, just like this, and bend at the waist here. Position the stick like this with your hands and…"
Harry flicked the stick forward. It looked to Hermione like he didn't hit the ball quite on center, but it flew straight and hard, scattering the balls. A couple even went in.
"Now you try."
Hermione gulped, but did her best to imitate Harry. She bent low, picked a ball, and pushed the stick forward. And missed.
"That's right," Harry said pleasantly. "Just take a few practice strokes first."
Hermione flushed scarlet, not sure whether he was teasing her or trying to cover for her.
"Could you show me again?" she asked, almost inaudibly.
"No problem."
Harry patiently showed Hermione how to stand and position her hands again, a smile lurking at the corners of his mouth.
"So, try again."
Hermione bent low, her brow furrowing in concentration, positioned herself just like Harry had, and tried again. This time, she managed to hit the cue ball. But it was a glancing blow to the side, and it spun off weirdly, not hitting anything.
"Oh no," she groaned. "I'll never be able to do it."
"Nonsense," Harry exclaimed. "Here, just watch me again."
He lined up several balls and sunk them in quick succession. Hermione was impressed, in spite of herself. He looked a little uncomfortable, and his motion was jerky. But the balls went straight in.
"See?" Harry was saying. "Here, I'll help you."
This time, Harry came up behind Hermione after she was set. He reached his arms out around her to correct her position, and she shivered slightly as his arms brushed her, and then he took hold of her elbow. A pleasant warmth radiated from him and he smelled like freshly cut grass.
"See, your elbow needs to be down here. And bend down slightly more. Yes, good. Hold that, let me step back and look."
Hermione felt a chill at Harry's sudden absence as he stepped away, and fought to hold herself still as Harry walked around to study her from different angles, lips pursed. A few of the other patrons were watching with amused expressions.
"Good, good," Harry murmured. "Just, stick your butt out and up a little."
"What?" Hermione choked out, still trying to stay still.
"You heard me," Harry said. "It'll put you at the right angle."
Mortified, Hermione squirmed around, trying to do as Harry said. She felt the heat rush to her face and was sure every male in the place was staring at her.
"Is that better?" she asked through gritted teeth.
"Much," Harry responded. "Believe me, it's loads better."
Taking a deep breath, she drew the stick back and then flicked it forward. She hit the cue ball, but poorly again. With a cry of frustration she straightened to look helplessly back at Harry.
"Are you sure sticking my butt out helps?" she demanded. Harry didn't answer right away. Hermione looked more closely and noticed he was shaking.
"Harry, what-?" she stepped closer and realized, in shock, that he was laughing.
"What's so funny?" she demanded, outraged.
"Hermione- I-h-have," Harry gasped. "I have no idea if it helps. I've never play Billiards before in my life! I just saw Uncle Vernon play a couple times."
"But-but," she spluttered. "How did you knock all those balls in?"
"Magic," he said, waggling his fingers and winking. Hermione stood there, stunned and speechless.
"You- you- you," she finally regained her powers of speech. "You CHEATED! And you wasted all this time! I'm doomed!"
"Don't be stupid, Hermione," Harry said, still laughing. He dropped his voice and continued. "You're a witch! Use magic!"
Hermione froze in mid-tirade, a foolish look on her face. She gaped soundlessly for a moment, like a fish out of water.
"Ok, I feel stupid," she finally said, quietly. "But, then, why where you telling me stand this way and that and-" Hermione's face grew red.
"Why did you make me stick my butt out?!"
"It was an absolutely marvelous view," Harry responded, with a perfectly straight face. The look on Hermione's face was priceless for exactly four seconds before she started hitting Harry.
"You pig!" she shrieked, flouncing away to stand huffing by the table, her back turned to Harry. Harry chuckled and waited for a minute as Hermione breathed heavily.
"Do- do you really think so?" she finally asked, timidly, trying to crane her head back around to look at her own bottom.
"Absolutely," Harry said immediately. "Though, I rather like your legs better, and your…"
"Harry!"
"Don't interrupt," Harry said, stepping close. "I'm being poetic."
"Ohhhhh," Hermione said with an exaggerated swooning motion, eyes sparkling with mirth now. "Do go on, Romeo."
"I think I will," Harry said with dignity, and cleared his throat. "But your legs are even a shade less pleasing than your hair-"
"Be serious!" Hermione snorted, a hand flying self-consciously to her no longer bushy brown hair.
"I am serious," Harry said seriously, his face drawing closer. "And I thought I told you not to interrupt?"
"My apologies," Hermione drawled, her breath quickening despite herself as she felt Harry's breath on her neck.
"So, your hair, it is quite outshone by the warmth and compassion in the endless depths of your eyes. But even these are nothing compared to-" Harry gently brushed Hermione's hair back and poked her in the forehead.
"- nothing, compared to what is in here. To the strength, and intelligence, and loyalty, and perseverance in here."
Hermione's breaths were starting to get short and fast as Harry's green eyes stared straight into hers from no more than six inches away. But, suddenly, he stepped back, and she almost involuntary stepped forward towards him, just catching herself at the last moment.
"And, last," Harry said softly, taking her right hand in his and laying it over her heart. "And most importantly, is this. The most important, and most attractive, part of the prettiest, cleverest, and most caring woman I have ever, or will ever, meet."
Hermione's eyes had gone very wide and her other hand flew to her mouth as she stared at Harry in a moment of vulnerability. They stood like that for half a minute, oblivious to everyone else, before Hermione abruptly dragged Harry towards the exit.
"We have to leave. Now."
Harry felt his stomach sink to the bottom of his shoes. Hermione pulled out a wad of money and tossed it carelessly at the cashier with a muttered order to keep the change.
"Hermione?" Harry asked weakly. "What-?"
"We have to leave, because-" Hermione was looking around intently as they exited.
"I…" she seemed to find what she was looking for and dragged Harry off again.
"-need…" she pulled him towards an alley.
"-to…"
"Uh, Hermione?"
"-snog you senseless. Like, right now."
Harry gaped as Hermione, despite being far smaller than he, pushed him roughly up against the alley wall, crushed her lips to his, and tangled her hands in his hair.
"Mmmph!"
* * *
"Harry?" Hermione whispered some time later, after they were forced to come up for air. "What's the other thing I don't know about you?"
Harry looked down at her seriously for a minute, and then grinned.
"I think you just found out."
I hope you like it! Please review!
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