Author's note: Welcome friends! After all, that's what we all really are. Friends who communicate through our storytelling, and I've read some good ones here. I hope that this becomes one of them.
Have you ever had a memory that just won't leave you be? How about one that, try as you might, just is never as clear as you want it to be? How about one that interleaves itself with many others? That's how our story begins. The first few chapters will seem a little disjointed. I've tried to lay everything out through the subject's perspective enough so things make sense but, well, sometimes it's just not possible. If you get too confused please, don't stop (yes, this is a shameless plea). Drop me a note and I'll try to clarify anything that seems a little too... wrong.
Lastly please let me know what you think. I don't care if you hate it, love it or just refuse to read it so long as you let me know why. And now on with the show!
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I'm done. Done trying, done pretending, and I'm done lying to myself. There's nothing for it now.
I've been living with this for 8 years. I've been trying to stay away from all the thoughts that come, unbidden, to the front of my mind. They invade my dreams and are slowly driving me insane. If I don't get out of here soon they'll push me in to something I really want to do but can't do; shouldn't do; won't do. Not to her, not to him. I've got nobody else left and if I lose them, well, there's no point going on.
I lost everyone else six years ago. It broke me. I almost ended everything then. But he was there to help me. He picked me up, dusted me off and offered me a shoulder to lean on when I couldn't walk my path anymore. She was there, too. She couldn't carry me but she could listen. And she could help me understand. With her there I could let myself go. I cried on to her shoulder for so many nights. And he was right there with her. They were my closest friends. They are my closest friends. I just didn't notice how close they'd become.
When I'd finished what I needed to do I was shot. There wasn't much left of me, but they helped me pick up the pieces of my miserable existence, helped me piece my life back together. I wanted to pay them both back but they both said I had it coming. That I'd done enough for them over the years and helping me was their method of repayment. We all just kind of silently agreed that none of us would ever yield, that we all knew we'd gotten more than we'd given. So we let it go and went back to being friends.
She gave me strength and I gave her nothing but endless shite for it. She bit back sometimes. There were times I didn't know if we ever saw eye to eye. It wasn't that I didn't think she could handle it, just because she was a girl. Hell, most of the men I know aren't as strong as she is! She could move mountains with her determination. She wouldn't ever let anything happen to either of us. We both tried to keep her out of harms way but most of the time it couldn't be avoided. When she was hurt in that Ministry incident in the Department of Mysteries… ~sigh, I thought she was a goner. But she pulled through. I watched her take so many potions every day. It's amazing she wasn't completely replaced by them…
Now, today, I find out they're not talking to each other! God, I've been a complete git! I'm so bad with women. I can't seem to talk right when they're around. Not that I haven't had my share of relationships. I've been with a few girls, even one or two during my Hogwarts days. Once things get rolling the road is smooth. It's just starting out, when you're climbing to the top of the plateau, that's hard. You'd think that with her, the girl I've seen almost every day for the last 14 years, things would be easier. Well they aren't. If anything, things are harder.
But he hasn't had that problem for a long time. He'd gotten better with women after growing up some. They'd started dating after a while. You're not supposed to fall in love with your best friend. That's just the way things are. It always buggers up friendships. They just got lucky, for the time being. That's all. If I keep telling myself that maybe it will be true. And now I saw I was right. Merlin, I hate it when I'm right!
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