The Wrath of Hermione

AU OOTP, Part One of the Wrath Saga. "I've been thinking about Harry's punishment next summer," said Hermione, changing the subject. "Yes, the Dursleys.... that blood protection shit ... only requires Petunia's presence to function. I'll kill Vernon, so that's taken care of. As for Petunia -" "You'll kill Vernon?" asked Remus, choking on his tea. "Vernon Dursley has been Number Three on my all-time Hate list for ages," replied Hermione. "Want to hear my full list? Here it is, in order : Voldemort, Draco Malfoy, Vernon, Bella, Lucius, Umbridge, Dolohov, Wormtail, Fudge, Amycus, Skeeter, ... you get the idea. This is why Vernon has to die -" She went on for the next few minutes, explaining in gory detail about the abuses Harry had suffered as a child. After two minutes, Sirius and Remus were angry. After five, they were seething. After ten, they both stormed out of the house. They would return an hour later complaining of Dursley bits stuck in their teeth.