A/N - thanks for the reviews, I'm glad people are liking it. Enjoy.
Chapter 4 - Changes
Hermione
When I got home it wasn't an owl waiting for me, but a Weasley. Ginny to be exact.
"Ginny," I welcome, surprised, "what are you doing here?"
"We were getting worried," she replies, getting up from the deck chair she had been sitting in, "so I thought I'd come and see if you're alright."
"Oh, I'm fine," I tell her, smiling because for once that was the truth, "just busy."
"Right."
I wait.
"Do you want to come in for a cup of tea?"
"No, thank you," she says, looking at me strangely, "I better head off. Have you chosen what you're wearing on Saturday?"
"Um, not yet," I reply truthfully, "I haven't really thought about it that much. You?"
"The green robes. The ones that match Harry's eyes."
And there it is, the real reason she's here - Ginny Weasley is marking her territory. I know Harry, I know him probably better than he knows himself, and I know he will be worried about my lack of response to seeing him. Ginny probably sees that as a threat and has now told me that he is hers. My heart doesn't break and instead I just smile at her.
"I'm sure you'll look beautiful."
She smiles one of her dazzling smiles, seemingly content that she had achieved what she had come to achieve, and with a wave of her wand, she's gone. Sighing, I enter the house and although I feel a bit sad, I tell myself that Harry has made his choice and I'm not doing myself any favours by dwelling on what may have been. I need to concentrate on me. So I take a deep breath, try and dislodge the picture of Ginny looking amazing in her emerald green robes, and start dinner.
The two days before the Ball I spend on my own. I go to the shops or I sit in the park and think, write or read. I begin to enjoy the time with myself and the chance to sort things out in my mind. By the time Saturday comes around, I'm sure I have my emotions in check and know I will be able to see Harry with Ginny. Together.
Mum and I head off into town for me to get my hair and make-up done. We thought I should splash out as I am one of those honoured at the stupid Ball so I might as well look my best.
We go to the hairdresser's first and as Cindy, our family hairdresser, asks me what I want I pause. Over the last week during the many conversations I've had, the subject of my hair was often brought up. I hate it and it was suggested that I use it as a shield to hide behind. I tended to agree with that totally. So as I sit looking at myself in the mirror, I make a decision. A pretty radical decision. I tell Cindy to cut it all off.
As I watch big hunks of my hair fall to the floor, I sit there terrified. I'm sensible, stable Hermione Granger! I don't do wild things like change the hairstyle I've had since I was five! What am I thinking? My heart rate is over the roof and I can see mum watching intently in the reflection of the mirror. When Cindy moves away from me and the three of us stare into the mirror, I gasp.
It isn't me. The girl looking back at me has cheek bones, and these huge eyes, and a little bridge of freckles on her nose.
"Hermione, you look stunning," Cindy tells me, making my eyes flicker to her then mum.
"You are quite the beautiful young lady," my mum breaths and I look back at my reflection.
That part of me I've been trying to quell the past week tells me that now I definitely don't look like the other girls who all have long, flowing hair. No girl has short, cropped hair like me. I look like a boy.
But the thing is, I don't look like a boy and I already looked different because of the mess of hair that would never be long or flowing. I tell that negative part of me to shut up.
We head over to the department store where I'm going to get my make-up done. They make my eyes look bigger and accentuate my newly found cheek bones. Even I have to admit that I look pretty good.
When we get home, I'm sure my dad is about to burst into tears as he gushes over how his little girl has grown up. I give him a reassuring hug then head to my room.
I've chosen the purple robes and begin to get ready. The under-robes are just like a dress - sweetheart neckline, tight fitting bodice and long, floor length skirt all in a soft silk for the summer evening. The robe is also light and soft, slightly see through so the dress is visible. It shows the curves I've developed over the years and for once I'm glad about the war - the constant exercise for battle training has made me pretty toned.
My neck feels strange without the mass of hair keeping it warm and although I keep running a hand over my new cut, I realise I actually like it. I feel like a grown-up.
Ready, I say goodbye to my parents then Apparate to Hogsmead where we had chosen to meet. Of course I'm the first one there - Weasley's are never on time. The Ministry had put aside a room for us in the Three Broomsticks that couldn't be accessed by reporters, or dear I say it - fans. I stand staring out the window at the hustle and bustle of Hogmead's streets as those invited to the Ball make their way hurriedly to Hogwarts while those who weren't invited are probably waiting to see us. The Trio.
Sighing, I nervously smooth down the front of my robes when the pops of Apparation start. Turning, it's Fred and George that arrive first. They see me and I blush.
"Er, sorry," one of them says, "but you're not meant to be in…"
"Fred," George stops him, "that's Hermione!" I blush more as they both come over to me, more Weasley's arriving behind them.
"Blimey, so it is! You look…"
"Wicked!"
Mr and Mrs Weasley appear and they all are look at me curiously. It's strangely quiet - Harry, Ron, Ginny and Luna aren't there yet.
"Um," I begin, trying to break the tension, "I thought I'd try something different," I run a hand over my hair, "do you like it?"
"You look beautiful," Mr Weasley says and I love him because I can see the truth in his eyes. I give the man a hug and normal conversation begins in the room. Still in Mr Weasley's arms, I hear more pops and I know Harry and the others have arrived. Pulling away, I see the black hair among the sea of red and just as I look over at him, a pathway clears and he can see me.
We stare at each other and his eyes widen slightly as he recognises me - I blush once more. Ginny pulls herself closer to him and I look at her. She is indeed beautiful, her hair in a lovely knot on her head, her robes accentuating all the right things. She and Harry look fantastic together.
"Crikey Hermione," Ron exclaims, making his way towards me and breaking any connection Harry and I have, "what the bloody hell have you done?"
"I cut my hair," I explain as he runs one of his huge hands over my scalp, which I swat away.
"I know I'm pretty thick but even I can see that!"
"It looks smashing," Luna tells me and I smile at her.
"Why?" Ron continues and I look back to him, "I mean, what was wrong with you hair how it was? Sure, it sometimes looked like something was nesting in there…"
"Thanks Ron."
"…but it was you. And now it's gone!"
"I decided I needed a change," I tell him as I look past Ron to Harry, who still hasn't said a word.
"Well, good on you Hermione," Ginny pipes up, hanging onto Harry's arm, "it takes a brave person to try and pull that hair style off."
I think there's a compliment in there somewhere.
"Right you lot," Mrs Weasley (thankfully) interrupts, "we're off. Ginny and Luna, you need to come with us. You three will be going in a separate carriage."
I stand back a bit and let Harry and Ron say their goodbyes while I say my own to the various Weasley's that pass me. I watch Ginny trying to get a response from Harry who seems lost in his thoughts. I smile to myself as she storms off but then falter as he looks back at me. He still hasn't spoken.
Soon it was only Harry, Ron and myself. Ron, dear Ron, decides to make small talk.
"So, what have you been up to Hermione?" he asks me and I drag my eyes off Harry to look at Ron.
"Oh, I spent some time with my parents, some time on my own…"
"You promised to help me with my speech."
Oh God. Oh no, oh no, oh no. I look at Harry in horror as I remember my promise to him the moment he was told it would be nice if he could make a speech at this stupid Ball. He had been terrified at the thought of standing up in front of everybody and speaking so I had said I would help him, that I would be there for him. And I had forgotten.
"Harry," I begin, "I'm so, so sorry! I forgot…"
"That's okay," he says, his tone void of any emotion, "I understand. You had other, more important things," he glances at my hair, "it doesn't matter."
"It does matter," I correct, nearly close to tears, "I just got caught up in all my own…stuff…"
"That's fine, it really is. I just…this is a pretty big deal."
"I know," my voice hitches as I walk over to him, close but not touching, "I'm so sorry."
I felt so guilty and although I knew I had the right to think of myself first for once, it had been a promise and I let him down. His eyes searched mine and after a moment, he gave me a lopsided smile. I was forgiven.
"You deserve some time for yourself," he says, as if reading my mind, "and I guess now the speech is truly how I feel about everything."
"I'm glad they didn't want us all to say something," Ron pipes in, hands shoved in his pockets and his face scrunched up in disgust. I nod absently, glad when a knock makes us all look towards the door. Ron goes and answers it while I grab my purse and make my way to the Ministry driver who was to escort us to Hogwarts.
I nearly make it out the door when Harry stops me by a touch on the arm. My heart starts beating far too quickly as I turn to see what he wants. He's so close to me I can smell his after shave and I melt. There is something in his eyes that I haven't seen before as he studies me for a moment. He lets go of me.
"You look beautiful," he whispers, a blush making him look even cuter than he already is.
I gasp involuntarily - Harry has told me I'm not ugly, even told me I was pretty once last year. But never, ever has he told me I was beautiful. I'm ready to shrug the comment off, discard it as if he didn't mean it, that it was a mistake. But something told me it wasn't.
"Thank you," I hear myself say and he smiles a small half smile. I smile back then follow Ron, who is waiting for us down the hall, allowing us to have our 'moment'. Sometimes he's not as insensitive as, well, most of the other times.
We leave the security of our floor into the madness of waiting press and excited people. The boys instinctively surround me and protect me from any harm as we make our way to the waiting carriage. I think my appearance confuses many as some ask Harry and Ron where I am. They don't answer but just smile as we enter the quietness of the threstal drawn carriage. I can see the strange creatures now, something that I wished wasn't the case.
The journey to the castle was made in relative silence - well, Harry and I were silent while Ron caught me up with the going ons. He was to start work at the Ministry a week Monday and was quite excited about it.
Every now and then, I would glance at Harry who I knew was doing the same as sometimes we would catch each other and give each other embarrassed smiles. Something was going on with him and for the first time I really didn't know what.
All thoughts disappeared however, when I saw the castle. It was beautiful, lit up in fantastic splendour. The carriage stopped and the door opened. Harry hopped out first and took my hand as he helped me down. Ron followed and as the three of us stood at the foot of the stairs, we looked at each other with resigned fear.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
Harry
I was so angry! Unbelievably angry! She tells me over breakfast like it meant nothing, knowing full well that her little visit was totally out of order. When did Ginny become a right cow? I mean, she wasn't always this vindictive…was she?
Ron had to hold me back because I swear I was going to slap her smug smile off her smug face. It seemed to please her no end that Hermione wasn't dying or in some mortal peril - she had just forgotten me and the speech. Sure, on some level that hurt. But Ginny had no right and now as I fume in my room, going over the conversation at breakfast in my head, I wonder just exactly what went on when Ginny showed up on the Granger doorstep.
I hope it didn't upset Hermione too much.
What a mess.
Sighing, I sit down at my desk and look at the speech that is slowly taking shape. It's Thursday now so I'm cutting it a bit fine but I pretty happy with it. Really happy with it actually. All I need to do is get Hermione to listen to what I have to say.
The rest of Thursday and Friday go past with a flurry of final robe fittings and some laughs with Ron as we muck around on our brooms. I had decided to chance it in the open now my speech was done and after the argument with her, Ginny finally backed off.
Saturday, however, was another story. The women in the Weasley house seemed to go mental as they started getting ready for the Ball from the moment they woke. I joined the other males and tried to keep out of their way as much as possible.
Ginny started a new campaign to get me to go with her. Even though it was putting her way out of schedule, she kept trying to convince me that I couldn't turn up alone, that I needed to have her on my arm, that even Ron had someone and that I would look stupid showing up with no one.
I did my best to ignore her.
Finally she left to get dressed and Ron and I got into our dress robes. I must admit that we scrubbed up pretty well, Ron and I, and in half an hour we were ready. Joining the others in the living room (well, the other men though Luna was there looking slightly…unique in her spangly cream gown with bottlecap necklace and matching earrings) we waited patiently for the girls.
We were getting later and later and I could see that even Mr Weasley was getting slightly anxious. Luna was sent to see how much longer when the decision was made that we would start Apparating to the Three Broomsticks, where we were to meet. Fred and George went first, then Charlie, Bill and Fleur. A flustered Mrs Weasley went with her husband and suddenly it was only Ron, Luna, Ginny and me. Great.
Though when Ginny came down the stairs in this really nice green set of robes, my heart skipped a beat or two. She looked amazing and she definitely isn't a little girl anymore. When she smiled at me, I nearly gave in - but not quite. She wasn't Hermione.
"My, don't you look handsome," she says to me, looking up at me in a very disconcerting way.
"Thanks Gin," Ron says for me, draping his arm across Luna's shoulders, "but thanks to you, we're late."
"I had to look my best now, didn't I," she purrs, holding on to my arm, "shall we go?"
I look down on her and she looks so enchanting, flooding my mind with a stream of memories of the short time we spent together. But as I search her eyes, I see more than just a want of going to the Ball with me so I won't be alone. I see victory and I get the feeling I'm a prize she had just thought she'd won. Still frowning at this thought, she Apparates us both to Hogsmead with Ron and Luna doing the same.
We arrive and the first thing I notice is the strange woman hugging Mr Weasley. Thinking it was probably someone from the Ministry that he was saying hello to, I began to look for Hermione. After a quick scan of the room, I couldn't see her and a slither of panic began to form until the woman with Mr Weasley turned around.
It was Hermione.
She had cut her hair and she looked incredible, the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Even Fleur, with her veela heritage, didn't come close to how amazing Hermione looked.
Stunned, I can't think at all as all my blood leaves my head and makes its way to other parts of my body, allowing me only to stare. Vaguely aware that Ginny is still by my side holding onto my arm, I don't even have the mental capability to push her away. All I can deal with at this point of time is the sight of my very female best friend.
"Crikey Hermione," my other best friend exclaims and I cringe inwarrdly, "what the bloody hell have you done?"
There we are, the Ron Weasley tact.
"I cut my hair," she tells him unnecessarily as she hits away Ron's hand that dares to touch that head that really no male except I should be able to touch. Hopefully. One day.
"I know I'm pretty thick but even I can see that!" Ron answers, rubbing his injured hand.
"It looks smashing," Luna cuts in and something inside me does a little flip-flop thing as Hermione smiles her thanks, making her look even more fantastic.
"Why?" Ron continues and I look at him, willing him to stop speaking before he says something stupid, "I mean, what was wrong with you hair how it was? Sure, it sometimes looked like something was nesting in there…"
Too late. A small cloud covers her face and the Hermione of old makes an appearance as she scowls with a terse "thanks Ron," which he ignores and carries on
"…but it was you. And now it's gone!"
"I decided I needed a change," she says and looks directly at me, wanting me to say something but I can't. Her eyes tell me she is still uncertain and needs my reassurance but before I say anything, Ginny speaks up.
"Well, good on you Hermione," Ginny says and I finally realise she is still hanging onto my arm, "it takes a brave person to try and pull that hair style off."
That didn't sound very complimentary.
"Right you lot," Mrs Weasley interrupts in her no nonsense manner, grabbing my attention, "we're off. Ginny and Luna, you need to come with us. You three will be going in a separate carriage."
I'm going to be alone with her. Well, sure, Ron will be there - but there will be no Ginny or Mr and Mrs Weasley…bloody hell. What should I do? What should I say? I have no idea, not really, even though this is the same girl who I have spent the last seven years sharing my life with.
I just realise how stupid I was being when Ginny finally leaves me not looking too happy. Oh well.
Now it was only Hermione, Ron and myself and since I still couldn't find my voice, Ron takes up the slack.
"So, what have you been up to Hermione?" he asks as I continue to stare at her, trying to get my brain in some sort of order. I need to say something.
"Oh, I spent some time with my parents, some time on my own…" she replies and it seems that Ginny was right, she did just forget me.
"You promised to help me with my speech," I blurt out and both Hermione and Ron look at me - Ron with surprise and Hermione with horror.
Of all the things to say after all this time, 'you promised to help me with my speech' was probably the worse option. And after the look on her face, I wanted to take those words back so badly.
"Harry," she nearly cries, "I'm so, so sorry! I forgot…"
Yep, she had just forgotten me but I realised that didn't really matter. Hermione had been looking out for me since day one - it was time she did some things for herself.
"That's okay," I tell her, trying to make sure she sees how much it wasn't an issue, "I understand. You had other, more important things. It doesn't matter."
"It does matter," she replies, nearly close to tears, "I just got caught up in all my own…stuff…"
"That's fine, it really is. I just…this is a pretty big deal."
Good way to make her feel better, Potter. I am such an idiot.
"I know," she agrees as she walks over to me, stopping close enough to touch, "I'm so sorry."
I knew that she genuinely was, I could see it in those lovely eyes of hers. I could also see her guilt and something within me want to take that away. I needed her to know that she didn't need to feel guilty, that I understood and that I was fine.
"You deserve some time for yourself," I tell her with what I hoped was a forgiving smile, "and I guess now the speech is truly how I feel about everything."
I see her relax and know she knows she is forgiven for putting herself first for once. Of course, that makes me feel like a selfish prat for expecting her to always put me first. However, before I can get lost in my own self-loathing, Ron speaks.
"I'm glad they didn't want us all to say something," he says, hands shoved in his pockets and his face scrunched up in disgust. I chuckle just as a knock interrupts us and we all look towards the door. As Ron goes and answers it, I watch Hermione grab her purse and something inside me stirs. Already this evening hasn't gone exactly to plan thanks to my own inability to not be a git and I plan to make Hermione see how much I care before the madness of the night gets in the way.
She's nearly to the door when I reach out and stop her. We're standing very close to each other now and I'm sure she can hear my heart beating. When she turns to me, my thoughts disappear once more as all I want to do is kiss her. A lot. In fact, I would like to do more than kiss her because she is driving me barmy with that new haircut.
I let go of her and my senses return.
"You look beautiful," I tell her softly, aware of the blush covering my face. She looks surprised by my comment, a small intake of air confirming this, but then she looks up at me shyly with a blush of her own.
"Thank you," she whispers, making me smile. She smiles back and I feel like the king of the world. I feel amazing. Still floating, we make our way to Ron who was waiting for us down the hall. He gives me a small questioning look and I smile slightly in response, affirming his unspoken question about how I was going with Hermione.
Nothing more was spoken as we make our way through the bunch of people waiting to see us by the front door. Like so many times before, Ron and I sandwich Hermione between us, making sure she is out of harms way - the action is as natural as breathing and none of us question it.
Inside the carriage, Ron updates Hermione on the goings on while we keep stealing looks at each other. In the half light of the carriage, her face looks unlike a girls and more like a woman's. She is growing up.
Before I knew it we were at the castle. I helped Hermione out of the carriage, the touch of her hand momentarily halting me, but then the ministry official comes to meet us and as one the three of us turn towards our old school and ready ourselves for what lay ahead.