The Wrath of the Blacks

Self-plug: my profile has been revamped... it includes a list of my favourite Mionecentric fics.

Oni

Andromeda Tonks - Lady Andromeda Black-Tonks, she reminded herself - had many things in common with her husband Theodore Dixon Tonks.

(1) They both liked strawberry ice cream.

(2) They both liked licking strawberry ice cream off each ... never mind.

(3) They both considered coffee to be the root of all evil. In other words, the only thing that would make either of them capable of murder would be the murder-victim-to-be getting between them and their morning coffee.

(4) They both believed firmly in the motto 'Throw something away today and you will need it tomorrow'. This also meant that they were both very good with space expansion and object shrinking spells.

(5)They both loved Muggle Comedy, with Monty Python and the Holy Grail being their favourite film. Ted thought Andy was in love with Armando Iannucci, while she knew he was in love with Sue Perkins.

(6) They both loved their daughter to bits. Andy had been very hurt by her four-year estrangement with her daughter and was delighted to be back in her life. She did not deny that Nym had won their argument, and was - in a way - proud of her daughter for standing up to her just as she had stood up to her family.

(7) They both thought that one of the best places to discuss work-related issues was in bed. In this case, plotting the resurrection of House Black was work.

Which brings us to the subject of tonight's peek into Number 31 Messier Lane. This cluttered five-bedroomed house is an unplottable building somewhere in the Bahamas. Many of its contents are also unplottable, at least in the opinion of whoever is searching for them at the time.

Conversely, anything not being searched for is Plottable.

Ted is not searching for the tennis ball he is about to step on.

"Argh, that bloody half-grown c*nt! Who put that f**king crud ball there? Stupid mangy excuse for a melodramatic agricultural kneazle!"

A hastily cast Lumos reveals a streak of brown-red fur heading out off the Tonks' bedroom nfaster than a Weasley inhaling breakfast.

It also reveals Andy Tonks levitating her husband to bed so she can kiss his owies away. And tease him about using 'agricultural' as a swear word.

With such an astrophilic household, it was no surprise that its members were in stitches when Narcissa referred to Number Twelve Grimmauld Place as The Hole.

"What did you find on the Granger girl?"

"Nothing much," replied Ted, who had spent that morning hunting down information on the girl through both Muggle and Wizarding means. "Her parents are Muggle dentists. No hidden Magical lines or squibs-in-hiding as far as I can tell. She grew up as a shy and lonely child and found refuge in her books. That in turn led her to being even more socially isolated. She read War And Peace - all six volumes - when she was eight. She took piano and gymnastics lessons, but stopped the latter after a nasty fall when she was ten that left her addicted to Terra Firma. Se told her teachers that she wanted to take her GCSEs - those are Muggle exams you normally take when you are sixteen - in Maths, Physics, English, History, and French when she twelve, but this plan was canned when her Hogwarts letter turned up. At Hogwarts, she has been first in all but two subjects - Herbology and DADA - in all her years at Hogwarts. You know about the Time Turner in her Third Year from Sirius - what you don't know is that she was given it by Minerva McGonagall so she could take a full load of classes."

"What? Minerva gave her a Time Turner for classes?" asked Andromeda, shocked.

"Yes, it was rather surprising," said Ted. "But - get this - it's nothing new. She is the fourteenth Hogwarts student this century to receive a Time Turner. Admittedly, her reason is the least convincing - even if she did end up saving Sirius with it, that was not the original purpose of the Time Turner for her."

"Fourteen?" asked Andromeda, even more shocked. She sat up in bed to better stare at her husband.

"Yes. Remus Lupin was given one in his first year as an experiment to see if appear in two places at once during the full moon. The idea was that if he, the day after the full moon say, went back in time, would he still turn into a werewolf? If so, then he could eliminate any suspicions the other students might have about the reasons for his regular bouts of illness. Unfortunately, it didn't work, and they just ended up with two werewolves running around."

"Oh. Wait a minute. How did you find this out?"

"The Ministry has records of which Hogwarts students have received Time Turners. I couldn't get any names, just numbers. As for Remus' story, he told me himself." Ted and Remus, both being intellectuals with addictions to research, had known each other even before the Tonks had returned to the British political scene.

"Oh. For a moment there I thought you'd found that out by the usual methods." There was no need to mention what the usual methods were - blackmail and bribery. For all his quirks, Ted would have been in Slytherin had he not been a Mudblood. (They were both Ravenclaws.)

"Moi?" asked Ted in mock outrage. He cast a charm to place a halo over his head. Andy giggled and reached out to feel it. It wasn't solid, but felt cool as her fingers passed through it.

"Cute. What's it made of?" she asked.

"Beats me. Alcetocranic Antimatter, probably. Want to knwo my speculations on the details?"

She punched him lightly in the arm.

"Right then. Alceto... mmmmf!"

Both Tonks were well aware of the best - as in most enjoyable - of getting Ted to shut up. After a while, they separated and Ted explained the rest of what he had found out about Hermione Granger.

"You're thinking of adopting her into the Black family," said Ted. It wasn't a question.

"Yes. We need to make House Black strong again. She would be a worthy addition."

"Well, don't expect her to marry Sirius or anything. Hogwarts rumours state that she is enamoured with either young Potter or the youngest Weasley boy. She's also been linked with Viktor Krum."

"Krum? The Bulgarian Seeker?"

"He was in the Triwizard Tournament. There was a Yule Ball, and he asked her out. However, indications are that they are just friends - Krum had a younger Squib sister who died of Ndaona's Syndrome shortly before the tournament. She was a bookworm and spent most of the time in libraries. I believe Krum sees Granger as a quasi-sister, at least at the beginning. They have remained pen pals, however, so presumably they found each other interesting enough to remain in contact."

"Oh. I suppose Nym told you this?"

Ted nodded, before continuing. "In any case, I've been considering ways of bringing her into House Black. Marriage is out, and I doubt that she will agree to magical adoption since that will mean disowning her parents. However, what we could do is adopt her parents. Then she'd be adopted by default." He looked at his wife closely, because she looked cute when she was shocked. Not that she did not look cute at other times...

"We can't adopt Muggles!" she exclaimed.

He raised his eyebrows.

"No, no," she assured him, thinking that he thought she was against the idea of bringing Muggles into the Black family. Yes, it would be a poke in the eye for hundreds of Black ancestors - she would love to see the epxression on Phineas' and Walpurga's portraits - but that was just a bonus. "How can we magically adopt Muggles? You said they weren't Squibs or anything."

"Dark Magic, of course," he replied, examining his fingernails closely.

"Wot?" She suddenly remembered something. "Wait, you told me about this some years ago, didn't you?"

"You remember!" he exclaimed brightly. "It's a Bantu Dark spell that gives Muggles an empty magical core so that they become Squibs. They can't be turned into Wizards, though that is something worth researching. I don't know how many Pureblood families know of this, but..."

"... yes, of course," she interrupted, considering the possibilities. Most Dark Magic families in Europe were Purebloods and Purebloods were very likely to suppress knowledge of such a spell. Even Albus Dumbledore wouldn't know of such obscure Dark Magic. "So you're saying that, if the Grangers agree, we turn them into Squibs and then adopt them. Very nice." She gave him a grateful snog. This took a while as the snog turned into snogs. "Do you think they would agree? What do you know of them?"

"Can't tell for sure. We'll have to meet them - and their daughter of course. Kevin Granger is an academic type who always votes Lib-Dem. He should be open-minded. Golda Peretz - Mrs Granger - I dunno. I couldn't get much information on her since she only moved to England in her mid-twenties. She lived in Israel and met him at a dental conference."

"Hmmm," mused Lady Black. "Well, we'll have to ask them."

"Of course," said Ted. "Which brings me to my next point. Hermione asked Remus and Sirius if she could bring her parents to The Hole this weekend to keep them safe. Sirius can't help them move, and neither can Hermione. Remus asked me if I was willing to help with the shrinking and packing. Care to join us?"

It was nearing the end of another Quidditch practice. Hermione sat on the benches with Dean Thomas. She was here to watch Harry and Ron, he was there to watch Katie. She didn't do much watching. She was reading Hogwarts - A History. At least, that's what it appeared like. She was actually reading a book on A-Level Chemistry disguised as Hogwarts - A History. She had been doing this ever since third year - after all, how many times could one read the same book when one already had near photographixc memory? - but had never told anyone. Ever. Except Luna. But it turned out that the blonde did much the same herself with the Quibbler.

Dean was, on the other hand, actively watching the players and making sketches. He was very good. She didn't understand how he could see anything useful when they moved so fast. True, he had Omnioculars, but he often sketched without it...

Observation was a great thing. But sometimes it was just easier to ask the observee.

Hermione lowered her book and looked over to see what her fellow Muggleborn classmate was doing.

"Wow," she said upon seeing the pictures moving on the paper. "I didn't know you had one of those!"

Dean grinned. "Got it last week with Harry's dough."

Hermione had got Harry to make an initial investment in her Magical Britain 101 book project with Katie and Dean. The parchment in front of them was a professional-level piece of equipment. It was linked to the Omnioculars so that it could display anything seen by it. Artists like Dean could then draw from the photographs. It was much easier for a painter to magically program portraits than for anyone, even the photographer, to program people in photos. This was because portraits came 'out of' the painter while photographs did not.

"Good job," she replied. "It'll be about twenty five years before the Muggles get something similar."

"You think?" he asked. Comparing the two worlds was a common topic of discussion between the three of them. Harry contributed sometimes, as did the Brothers Creevy.

Hermione grinned but said nothing. This was a case where se didn't just think, but knew from her past future experience.

"How are you and Katie doing?" she asked instead.

"Good, actually," he said with a chuckle. "Getting close to the Meet The Parents stage."

"That's great!" she smiled, giving him a one-armed hug. She then noticed his apprehensive look. "Isn't it?"

"Err... well, you know how it is with interracial couples in our - in the Muggle world."

She ignored the pronoun - that was an entirely different kettle of fish (who kept fish in kettles anyway?) - and asked what the situation was. It was ironic that the bigotry in the Wizarding World did not extend to colour - at least not to the extent that it did in the Muggle World. A large part of this had to do with the fact that developmentally, Magical Africa had alwayds been considered socially equal to other parts of the world. Well developed civilisations lay hidden in the depths of the Congo, in the great cities of Nairobi, Masvingo, Cape Town, and Timbuktu, under the sands of the Sahara and Kalahari, and so on. Of course, prejudice and stereotypes still existed, but they were on the basis of culture rather than skin colour. And they went both ways.

"Her folks know about me," continued Dean. "And they say they don't mind, but have warned her that not all their other relatives are going to be pleased. My mam's a bit worried though - we aren't from the best part of London, y'know? Katie's gonna get serious looks if she ever comes to visit." Dean had a scholarship to attend Hogwarts. Hermione's parents were well-off so she didn't need one.

"She can wear a glamour," said Hermione. "And she can take it off when she gets to your home."

"She shouldn't have to."

Hermione didn't argue with something she agreed with. "Mr Bell is in the RAF, right?"

"Yes, he's a pilot. That's why she's even more addicted to flight than Harry. Why?"

"Soldiers are used to serving with people of other races. More respect and all that."

Dean thought for a moment, and then nodded. "Good point. You know, I wanted to join the army before Hogwarts."

"And now?" asked Hermione. "Now that you've discovered you can make a living out of art?"

"Well, there is that," mused Dean. "It's just that we're all going to be soldiers anyway, aren't we?"

The mood changed.

"You could leave Britain," Hermione said after a while.

"Would you?"

"And leave Harry alone?"

"What if there was no Harry? Would you leave then?"

Hermione had to think for a while. She'd honestly never considered this option. It was hard to imagine a life where Harry had never existed. "I don't know," she eventually admitted.

"Wow," exclaimed Dean. "I need to get that in writing." She punched his arm. "Seriously, Hermione, I'm getting worried. Britain is home for me. I'm staying to fight. But I'm worried about my family."

"How many?"

"My mum and my two younger sisters. They are all Muggles. Denise is thirteen. Debra is five. Mum's a nurse."

Hermione didn't ask about his father - she had once heard him tell Seamus that he had no clue who his father was.

"Can you convince her to move?"

"I don't know. I don't even know if I should be worried or not. I figure they can easily find us the same way they sent our Hogwarts letters to us. But who are 'they'? McGonagall and the Hogwarts Quill? The Ministry? Can anyone do it?"

Hermione grimaced before nodding. "If they want to."

"How?"

"Magical tracking. Unless you're in an Unplottable location, anyone can be tracked."

"Muggleborn or Muggle?"

Hermione paused. It was a good question, one that even her extra experience did not provide the answer for. "Definitely the former. The latter - you know, I don't know."

Dean chuckled. "Twice in one day. Wait till Ron hears of this!"

"Honestly! Why does everyone think I know everything? And stop giving me that look! If I knew everything, I'd never go to the library!"

Dean conceded the valid point before turning serious. "If my folks moved and I stayed away from them, would anyone be able to trace them? I do know it's horribly expensive to make a place Unplottable so that's out of the question."

"Professor Flitwick - we should ask him."

Their conversation slipped into silence again.

"How many people are worried, Dean? Who have you talked to?"

"Justin."

"Fletchperson? Mr Eton? He Who Wants To Be The First Muggleborn Prime Minister Since Benny D?"

"Benny D?"

"Benjamin Disraeli."

"Oh. And yes, I do mean Mr Finch-Fletchley himself. Also known as He Who Asks You Out Every Thursday After Arithmancy."

"No, that's Terry Boot. Besides, I thought Justin was gay."

"Oh? Well, Justin thinks the same of you. He's not the only one. Turpin's got a pool on everyone's preferences and offers 3 to 1 odds in favour of you being a dyke."

"WHAT! You cannot be serious."

"Are you?"

"Yes, of course, but..."

"Holy Brunelleschi!" Dean's eyes widened. He wasn't sure whether to believe Hermione or not. She was very high on his list of People Never To Play Poker with. He didn't mind, not really, but it was surprising. But he wasn't going to admit to believing her if she was just joshing him. No, he'd check with Katie, since her gaydar was better than his.

"Like everyone else," continued Hermione with a smirk, "I swing both ways. I just admit it."

"Everyone?" asked Dean weakly.

"At various degrees. It's all a big gay-straight continuum, with lots of people at both ends and some of us lucky ones in the middle."

"Oh," he said after a while, and decided to get around to his intended topic of conversation. "Er. Anyway. Have you heard of the Bridgers?"

Hermione's eyes widened. "Yessss...." she said hesitantly.

The Bridgers were a long-established international association of Muggleborn witches and wizards who aimed to be liaisons between the two worlds. They had never been very prominent in Europe as their aims were seen as conflicting with the International Statue of Secrecy, which the European Pureblood families took more seriously than those in other parts of the world. In fact, they were banned in Britain, France, Spain, Catalonia, Portugal, Basqua, Germany and Magyaria.

"They are trying to establish a foothold in Britain again. They approached Double Eff, or he approached them. I dunno. He's their rep here. He's recruiting. He talked to me on Sunday and asked me to sound you and Katie out."

"But they're illegal!"

"That's why they are calling themselves 'The Society for the Integration of Muggleborns'." He gave Hermione a small grey cardboard circle. "This is Justin's S.I.M. card."

"Oh," she said, examining it closely. "I take it he introduced it as S.I.M. first? How did you find out about the Bridgers? I mean, not many people know..."

"I do read, Hermione," said Dean, a little irritated by her assumption that he did not. On the other hand, he understood that she wasn't used to having companions who read on their own. "I found out about them while reading for a Binns paper. Remember that project for second year about Banned Societies in Britain?"

"Er, no," she said, frowning.

"Oh, you were Petrified for that," he said. "Sorry. Anyway, that's how I knew about the Bridgers and they being banned. I guess I've read too many Muggle conspiracy theories, so I jumped to the conclusion that there was a connection. I was shocked when, after some prodding, Justin admitted to there being one."

Hermione considered this.

"He's very interested in getting you on board," continued Dean. "He said he would have asked you directly, but you've been scarce of late. He also said that there is no law banning the formation of such a society."

"Then why did he need Bridger help to start it?"

"I couldn't get him to explain. Maybe you can."

Hermione pondered the situation. It didn't take long. She wanted to help Muggleborns like herself. She didn't have the time to organize. Someone else was organizing them. True, Justin had his own agenda, but he was taking care of the logistical details. Time was short. But this was not the time to be joining illegal organizations, even if they weren't supposed to be illegal.

Stupid Pureblood Ministry.

"I'd like to meet him," said Hermione. "But if he - or you - tell anyone I'm doing so, it's off. Such a group is going to be accused of being Bridger-associated even if it isn't - which it is - and I'm close to Harry. I'm not having people using me to malign him any more. I do hope I'm allowed to tell Harry though, since I'm going to. I won't tell any Weasleys, of course."

Dean winced. "I asked Justin that. He said he wasn't sure if Harry thought of himself as Muggleborn." He continued in a lower voice. "Everyone in our dorm knows his relatives aren't nice... "

"What are you saying, Thomas?" she asked in her best 'Tell Me Or Require Spare Parts' voice. "Culture overrules blood. Nurture beats Nature. Most of the time. Muggle raised is as good as Muggleborn." She didn't think of the connotations of the word 'good' in what she said. But if she had, she would not have retracted it. "He's not about to turn into the next Voldemort or, worse, the next Lucius Malfoy, because of it. But he would never give them up to the Ministry. He's not a fan of them."

"I know that," said Dean. "You know that. Justin isn't sure and accepted it very grudgingly." said Dean uncertainly. He really didn't want to say what he was going to say next. But Hermione deserved to hear it. "And - er - Justin said more. He said that he wanted to wait until Harry chose between you and Ginny before inviting Harry."

To Dean's surprise, Hermione did not blow up at him.

She understood immediately what he was saying - if Harry 'chose' Hermione - which he had done, though neither Dean nor Justin knew it - then he would be more willing to deal with the Muggle world. If he chose instead a pureblood witch such as Ginny - whom Hermione had firmly wiped off her Friends list - then Harry would treat the Muggle world with indifference. It was the difference between him considering Muggles as 'Us' or 'Them'. Hermione thought of Muggles as both 'us' and 'them' depending on the situation, sometimes both at once. She was not technically a Muggle, but she was one culturally. She was a child of two cultures and saw no reason to turn her back on one of them. But she had received love and care in both worlds; Harry had not.

And she certainly wasn't telling Dean that Harry had already made his choice. They hadn't talked about going public yet.

She made, once again, a firm mental effort to avoid thinking of Ginny. She had been doing quite well avoiding such thoughts ever since the note arrived from Future Luna et al explaining how the redhead had broken up her marriage to Harry while they were both in a witless state recovering from their daughter's murder by Draco Malfoy.

"Like I said, I'm telling Harry," said Hermione eventually. "Will you get in trouble with Justin if I do?"

Dean shook his head. "I expected you would. I warned Justin as much. If he disagrees and doesnt want you on his side, I'd rather be on your side than his."

"My side?"

"Your side is Harry's side," answered Dean with a shrug, as if that explained everything. Which it did, really.

There was a shrill double blast of a whistle. It was Angelina Johnson's signal that Quidditch practice was done. As Dean and Hermione packed up their things to go meet their sweaty friends, they discussed strategies on how to drag Ron to football sessions.

PS III : It's Poqualot, not Porkalot.

Harry isn't forgotten, no worries.