Note: This is the entire completed fanfic. I know its very long but I was too lazy to put it into chapters. :) All characters in this songfic belong to JK Rowling but I do own the plot. I hope you guys like it. Please review!!
This is for Maxine and Wanying. Happy Birthday,my fellow H/Hr shippers!
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The young man stood at the entrance of the old building which had been his home, his sanctuary for so many years. It was here he had experienced the unbelievable, learned lessons that he would never forget and made the best friends he could ever have wished for. His whole life had been rooted in this building, and now he was leaving. He was too old for tears but that didn't stop the sudden lump from forming in his throat
Harry Potter looked out once more at the blue, shimmering lake silently. He had specifically instructed everyone not to come and see him off because he hated goodbyes as much as the next person--- and these goodbyes could very well mean forever.
He was going to look for the final few Hoxcruxes and kill Voldermort. (Or it could very well be the other way around.) The journey was dangerous and he planned to make the journey on his own and if he was going to die, at least he would die on his own rather than drag others down with him.
He had however gone around saying his farewells to his fellow Gryffindors, professors and of course, his two best friends, Ron and Hermione. Unlike everyone else who had been very emotional about his leaving, they had treated it with surprising mildness, exchanging an odd glance between the both of them and wishing him luck on his journey.
He had been, undeniably, hurt and slightly disappointed at their reaction, since he had expected them to insist on coming with him. But after a long while, he decided that ultimately it was best if they didn't make a fuss about it.
Especially Hermione. If she had made a fuss about it, he probably wouldn't have known whether to let her come with him or refuse.
Yes, he was in love with Hermione, his bloody best friend since forever.
But he wasn't going to tell her. Not when he was about to die.
With that, he turned back to look down the hallway once more-
--only to see Ron and Hermione standing right behind him.
"What are you guys doing here?" He stepped back slightly. "I thought I told you guys not to-"
"See you off?" The tall, red-haired Weasley folded his arms across his chest, raising an eyebrow. "We're not here to see you off."
"We're here because we're going with you." The dark-haired petite girl stated firmly, the tone in her voice clearly indicating that there was no room for discussion. Harry remembered that tone all too well from their 6 years together, and the familiarity of that tone sent a sharp pang through his stomach.
She rolls the window down,
"Look you guys," He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, an old habit of his when he didn't feel like talking. "I won't let you guys go with me. It's too…,"
And she talks over the sound
Of the cars that pass us by
"Dangerous?" Hermione interrupted, her eyes flashing with hurt. "Harry, what kind of friends would we be if we let you go on some dangerous journey alone?"
"Yeah," Ron's voice was reproachful. "Do you think we're actually going to let you look for You-Know-Who on your own?"
Harry was silent. He didn't know how to respond.
"Harry, look," Hermione stepped forward to look him firmly in the eye. "We know it's going to be dangerous, we really do." Her hand rested gently atop his shoulder. "But whatever it is, we're not going to let you go alone, do you hear me?"
And I don't know why
He looked away from her, finding it hard to meet that earnest gaze. He didn't want them to go. He knew they would suffer along with him. But deep down inside, a small part of him wanted to be selfish, to have them with him if he was going to do this.
But she's changed my mind
"Thank you." He whispered.
----
"Harry, watch it!"
The said Harry Potter whirled around and dodged the jet of fiery red sparks. Aiming his wand at the masked Death Eater, he then stunned the Death Eater almost easily. After all, Defense of the Dark Arts hadn't been his best subject for nothing. Brushing a few strands of hair out his face, he then turned to aim a hex at the Death Eaters who were surrounding Ron.
The three of them had been on the search for the Hoxcruxes for several weeks now and were very close to a breakthrough to finding the Hufflepuff cup. However, they had been attacked by a troop of Death Eaters while passing through a small grove of trees. The rain was falling, almost pounding on them mercilessly.
Seeing the redhead disarm the remainder of the Death Eaters, he then sprinted across the wet grass, slipping slightly, to help Hermione who had been ambushed a few feet away from them.
However it didn't look like she really needed it. She was blocking the jinxes of the Death Eaters aimed at her smoothly, defending herself with ease. He slowed down to a walk, seeing how she had just hexed the final Death Eater.
Would you look at her
Even in the pouring rain, she looked perfect to him. Her usually curly hair was now sticking together in large wet clumps and hanging limply by the sides of her face, except for the tendrils that were plastered to her face. Her clothes, now completely soaking from the torrential downpour, were clinging to her petite body. She crouched forward slightly, resting the palms of her hands on her knees, as if trying to compose herself for a minute.
However after a few seconds, she straightened up and looked straight at Harry, smiling. Triumph and relief were written all over her facial features. He returned the smile easily, feeling the wave of sudden exhaustion sweep over him as it usually did after a long day.
She looks at me
She's got me thinking about her constantly
Hermione was the first to break their gaze, and she suddenly ran her fingers over a small gash that was barely visible through a slash in the torn fabric of her shirt, wincing very slightly. Suddenly, as if she had known Harry was still watching her, she lifted her head to meet his gaze once more, immediately dropping her hand from her forearm. He narrowed his eyes and increased his pace…
… only to see a Death Eater emerge out of no where, his wand aimed right at Hermione, ready to strike.
"Hermione!" Harry yelled, breaking into a fast run towards her. "Behind you!" He had completely forgotten he was holding a wand in his hand, one that was fully able to stop any hex that came her way. All he knew was that if she got hit, he would never forgive himself. Never.
He jumped, tackling her around the waist, pulling her down just as the jet of green missed the spot she was standing at a few seconds ago…
But she don't know how I feel
They hit the ground, Hermione on her back with Harry's arm around her waist. Immediately, Harry disentangled himself from Hermione, jumped to his feet, wand outstretched, throwing hexes and jinxes at the Death Eater who was now moving closer to them. He felt fury burn in his veins, an unspeakable anger towards Voldermort's lackey, the one who'd nearly killed Hermione…
And as she carries on without a doubt,
It was only when the masked wizard fell motionless to the ground, did Harry lower his wand. He turned back to Hermione, who was by now had sat up and was now staring at him, an odd expression on her face but never taking her eyes off him.
"You okay?" He jammed his wand back into the pocket of his jeans as he moved towards her, concerned.
I wonder if she's figured out
"You saved me." Her voice was quiet, soft.
"If I didn't, you would have died." He answered, stretching out a hand to help her up. She took it, and got to her feet, her eyes never leaving his. "I wasn't going to let that happen."
There was a long silence between the both of them, neither saying anything, their gazes locked.
I'm crazy for this girl
"Thank you, Harry." She finally broke the silence as she reached forward to wrap her arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug. "Thank you so, so much."
Yeah, I'm crazy for this girl
"No problem." He breathed into her hair gently, wrapping his own arms around her even more tightly. He was so glad he hadn't lost her. To have her here with him right now was all he wanted.
And the rain continued to fall, the battle at an end.
----
The final feeble rays of sunlight seemed to grab desperately at the sky, a myriad of pink, yellow and orange. The setting sun cast the final shadows on the earth, before being swallowed up the inky darkness of night. The cool wind brushed the earth's surface, the tall grass in the moor rustling in it.
He sat there motionless, watching all these through dull eyes. Looking but not really seeing. He let the relentless train of thoughts haunt him, chant at him. He felt his entire body tense up with anger, his fists clench unknowingly at his side, shutting his eyelids tightly so that he wouldn't let those tears of guilt come down.
Today had been the worst day of his entire life.
They had followed that final lead to where the cup had lain. But just as they had entered the cave, ready to destroy a part of the wizard who'd taken so many lives, a volley of hidden hexes had come right at the trio. There was no way to escape them, to block them.
Ron had come off the worst. Harry rubbed at his eyes roughly, as if trying to erase the memory of Ron lying on the cold hard floor: cold, pale, still. Almost as if Ron had died. He swallowed the sudden lump in his throat, letting his fists relax, the pain of his fingers digging tightly into his palms diminishing. Thank Merlin Ron was alive--- just barely. It had taken the last of his and Hermione's energy to get him to St. Mungos where he was now under observation. He would never forget the waiting, those terrible long hours of pain gnawing at his last shred of self-resolve not to cry.
He would never forget the way Hermione had crumpled to the floor after taking that vicious hex, her face contorted in the most unimaginable pain. His heart wrenched in pain, thinking of how he wasn't able to protect her. How he had been so unbelievably stupid to have agreed to have the both of them to come with him, how he had been even more stupidly allowed her to come back with him.
But he could also never forget the way Hermione had dragged herself out of the ward, pushing aside assistance from the doctors and nurses, hobbling after him. He had just been about to exit St. Mungos when he heard her calling his name desperately. How she stood there, crying and telling him that she wasn't going to leave him. Not now. Not ever.
It was his entire fault. His entire fault that they had ended up like this. He swallowed again, his throat aching even more.
"Harry?" Her voice floated out of the darkness behind him.
She was the one to hold me
The night the sky fell down
"You should be asleep," He didn't turn around, almost afraid that he would lose it in front of her. "You heard what the doctor said, your leg needs rest."
She didn't answer him, merely walked forward to sit by him.
"Harry." Her voice was low and pleading. "What happened today wasn't your fault. No one could have prevented this."
The words 'no one' rang in his ears, mocking him. "You're wrong." The words sounded harsh, almost cold.
"No, I'm not."
"You're wrong!" he yelled suddenly. "If I didn't ask you guys to come with me, you wouldn't even be in this state," He could feel the tears burn behind his shut eyelids. "If I didn't ask you guys to come with me, Ron would be in St Mungos now, barely alive." He choked on his final two words.
And what was I thinking when
The world didn't end
Why didn't I know what I know now?
He buried his face in his hands, not wanting to let Hermione see him cry. Her arms encircled him, her usual scent of vanilla surrounding him, comforting and gentle. For some reason this made him cry harder. If he hadn't allowed her to come with him, she wouldn't have gotten hurt. He didn't want to see her hurt. He couldn't.
"It's not your fault," Her voice was thick with emotion. "Harry, no one, not even you could have seen this coming. Don't blame yourself."
----
"What did you say?"
"Go home."
In all their years at Hogwarts, Harry and Hermione had never had a major fight before. An occasional spat or disagreement was unavoidable but the clashes were usually between Ron and Hermione, with Harry playing the mediator. And he liked it that way. But now here they were, fighting about something Harry couldn't even remember, but neither was willing to back down.
"Whatever for?" Her words were even, but he could sense her frustration.
"To Ron. You miss him. You know you do." He challenged her, his voice growing hard. He didn't know where all this was coming from, but all he knew was that it was not going to be good. He narrowed his eyes at Hermione, crossing his arms over his chest, feeling angrier by the second. Hermione didn't look like she was ready to give in without a fight either. Looking angrier than Harry had ever seen her before, she propped her hands on her hips and glared at him furiously.
"Why are you dragging Ron into all of this?" Hermione's voice rose in pitch, shaking with anger. "He's not even here! I haven't even seen him in awhile!"
"All the more reason to go back to him then, don't you think?" Harry shot back. He could feel his body tensing even further and right now he was seized with this insane urge to make Hermione cry. He felt almost sadistic. It was almost as if he had another darker personality that was making him do all this, like his mouth and brain were working separately on autopilot.
"After all, let's face it. You really haven't moved on from him, have you? Coming on this little hunt for the Hocruxes was just another way to get him to fall in love with you again am I right? So why don't you just go back to St. Mungos? Get back together with Ron and get married, for Merlin's sake!" He taunted her, lip curled in a sneer that would have rivaled Malfoy's.
Her face was pale, her dark brown eyes shining with hurt. Her arms fell limply to her sides and he could see from her body language that the fight had gone out of her. And just looking at her like this, made instant shame consume his entire being. How could he have said that? He knew, knew that Hermione had come on this journey to help him. That she was over Ron. Whatever had possessed him to say those things?
"Hermione, I… I…" He reached up to run a hand through his hair, frustrated and at a loss as to what to say.
"You think I should really go back to Ron?" Her voice was subdued.
"I… yes, I mean… I…" I don't even know what I want now, he added miserably in his head. But by now, Hermione had turned away from him, kneeling down by her tent as she began putting things into her bag. Finally she pulled the zipper shut and slung the bag carelessly over her shoulder. Her expression was blank, quiet and defeated and it tore at his heart to know that he was the one who had hurt her, so badly that even a thousand apologies couldn't mend it.
"Goodbye then."
And with that she walked away from him… probably out of his life.
He didn't expect to ever see her again.
But he did.
----
Harry hated the smell of disinfectant that corridors of St. Mungos held.
It always gave him this feeling of finality, the scent of death and sickness. Maybe it was just him, being the Boy-Who-Lived had probably given him a very keen intuition for this kind of thing. He had always tried to avoid coming to this place whenever he could but now, here he was sitting in Ron's ward, watching his best friend finish his lunch.
Ron definitely looked better from the last time Harry had seen him-but of course that had been about 2 weeks. After his big fight with Hermione, he had gone on trying to find a way to get to the cup, almost halfheartedly, he had to admit. Seeing that there was no sense in him trying in vain to get to the cup, he'd decided to pay Ron a visit. After all, Ron had been injured because of him.
"So… why don't you explain me why Hermione left?"
Harry was jolted out of his thoughts at this question from Ron. Shit, I should have known this was coming. This was the question he had been hoping Ron wouldn't ask, but even he knew that there was no avoiding this question. Hermione must have visited Ron when she left him.
"We had a fight." He mumbled.
"About?"
"I…I…, okay, fine. We… had a fight about… you."
"What? Why?"
"I… I just don't know, okay? I just felt…" Harry made a thick sound of frustration, throwing his hands up. "I just wanted to make her mad, I guess. I don't know why but I just did."
"What did you say?"
"I said… I…I told her…"
"Told her what?"
"I…said she'd never gotten over you in the first place. That coming on this hunt was just another way to make you fall in love with her again…" Harry avoided Ron's gaze. "That she should just come back to see you. To get back together with you."
There was a long silence in the room.
"Harry, mate, sometimes… I swear, I just don't know what goes on in your head!" Ron's voice was exasperated. "You know perfectly well that Hermione doesn't like me anymore, not in that way, ever since the beginning of 7th year. You know that the only reason why she came on this hunt… was because of… because of you."
"Because she wanted to help me." Harry added dully.
"Because she didn't want to see you struggle alone. Because she wanted to be there for you when you needed her. She couldn't bear to see you suffer on your own. " Ron's voice was soft. "Don't you see, you prat? Hermione loves you. Not me."
Even though there was only the two of them in the room, a sudden loud roaring filled Harry's ears. Hermione loved him? But… didn't she just want to help him, as a friend?
Suddenly, it all made sense. Why even though she had been badly injured, she insisted on coming back with him. Why she'd acted so mild when he said he would be going on this hunt alone, but planned secretly to go with him. Why she'd been so hurt when he'd accused her of loving Ron all this while. She'd been in love with him, secretly all this while.
"Shit," Harry ran a hand through his hair, struck by the enormity of the awful things he'd said to her during their fight. A growing sense of dread made the next few words stick in his throat and he looked at the floor without really seeing it. Had he lost her for good?
Just then, the door to the ward opened. Harry waited for it to slam shut but it never did. He looked up…
Hermione.
His breath caught in his throat as he rose to his feet, almost unknowingly.
She'd become skinnier from the last time he'd seen her, he realized, with a pang of guilt. Her eyes, widened with shock, were ringed with black and the lack of sleep. Her face was pale, hurt washing over her features. She stood in the doorway and he by Ron's bedside, gazes locked.
And then she turned and ran, the door swinging shut behind her.
With that he too sprinted from the room after her. He didn't know if she would forgive him, if she would hate him for the rest of his life. But right now, all he wanted to do was to make it up to her no matter what it took. He put on an extra burst of speed, sliding to a stop in front of her, blocking her from escaping.
She bowed her head, evidently not wanting to look at him at all costs. But gently, he used his hand to tip her face up to meet his gaze. He glimpsed sorrow and pain in those brown eyes he knew so well and guilt burned his insides once again.
Right now
Face to face
"I'm so, so sorry Hermione." he whispered. "I… I can't believe I said those things to you. I didn't mean them, truly I didn't. I was just… just mad and upset because… because…"
"Because what?" She pressed.
"Because… because I thought you loved Ron…and… and not me." Harry looked away now, not wanting to meet her gaze. It was hard for him to admit the truth, but even harder to look back at her but her next words made him turn back to see if she really did mean it.
All my fears pushed aside,
"I did love Ron, yes," She admitted honestly after a pause. "But I… I realized I… I loved you more. More than I could ever have thought possible."
Harry looked back at her, her tone honest. She really did love him.
Gently, almost impulsively, he leaned forward to capture her lips with his, wrapping her in his arms. His heart soared. She loved him. He loved her. And that was all that mattered.
Ready to spend the rest of my life
With you
Finally, she pulled away, shyly and slightly breathless. Her eyes were shining, with love and tenderness, for him, Harry realized.
There was no longer a need for words as he leaned in once again to kiss her gently.
----
It was yet another spring day.
Harry Potter broke into a run and jumped to smack one of the low-lying tree branches. He knew he was acting completely juvenile but it was either spring in his bones or the fact that he and Hermione had managed to destroy the cup at long last. In fact, he preferred to think it was the latter. Behind him, he could hear Hermione laugh and turned around to face her, waiting for her to catch up.
Would you look at her
She looks at me
She's got me thinking about her constantly
"What're you laughing at?" He asked, chuckling as he took her hand in his.
"You." She smiled languidly, a contented smile illuminating her features. "I haven't seen you this happy in a long while. Or crazy to mention it."
"I know," he admitted, lacing his fingers between hers. "Maybe it's because we managed to destroy at least one of the Hoxcruxes. Maybe it's because… I have you."
But she don't know how I feel
Hermione smiled, blushing. "When did you become such a sweet talker?"
"Since never," He smiled, wrapping an arm around her slim shoulders. "It's the truth."
And as she carries on without a doubt
It was truly a beautiful spring day. It was almost as if they were walking in those scenes from a picture book. The trees that lined the sides of the lane were in full bloom, their pink and red flowers soaking up the gentle sunlight. The breeze swept down the lane, rustling the leaves of the trees, cool on his skin. In the distance, he could hear the lone chirp of a bird.
I wonder if she's figured out
"Harry?"
"Mmmm?" He looked down at her, feeling a wave of tenderness and affection overcome him, unable to once again bite back the huge grin that overtook his face whenever he was with her.
I'm crazy for this girl
"I love you." She admitted, reaching up to push his hair out of his face. "So very much."
Yeah, I'm crazy for this girl
"I love you too." He breathed, pulling her even closer to him. "More than you could ever know."
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I hoped you guys liked it. Not my best work, but I hope to have the time to edit it again! please review!