He landed on the floor with a thud. He got up and looked around, recognising his surroundings as a compartment in the Hogwarts Express. Sitting alone, huddled against the corner, was a small, greasy haired boy. He was very skinny and already wearing his school robes, and had a massive, tatty trunk that looked bigger than his whole body. Mini- Snape's eyes were appreciatively scanning the pages of a large book, hungrily storing all the information as his pale fingers stroked each word.
Suddenly the door slid open, and a red-haired, green-eyed girl popped her head round. "Can I sit here? Everywhere else is full" Mini-Lilly said sheepishly, reminding Harry wonderfully of Ron on his first train ride. Snape was staring at her as though he'd never seen a girl before, and nodded quickly. Smiling, Harry took a seat next to Lilly. She was quite a cute child, but Harry wondered why Snape was showing him this scene.
Mini- Snape had turned back to his book, looking uncomfortable. Lilly was swinging her legs excitedly, staring at everything in wonder; the seats, the scenery out the window, Snape's trunk, her own tawny owl, Snape's robes, Snape himself…
"I'm Lilly Evans" she announced, beaming. Harry beamed too. Snape's eyes darted to Lilly and then back to his book. "Are we supposed to change into our uniform yet?"
Snape shook his head.
"Oh, good. I don't know much, see, because no-one else in my family is magic. My parents were thrilled when I got the letter. My sister wasn't though, she was grumpy. She'll get over it though." When Snape didn't say anything Lilly glanced out the window. "What's your name?"
"Severus Snape" he croaked. Lilly's head snapped up.
"Wow, cool name! I've never heard a name like that before."
Snape looked mildly pleased. "It's a wizard's name, they're a bit different to muggle names" he said, louder than before.
"Can I call you Sev?"
"Uh, yeah, I guess." Lilly beamed again. Harry got the impression she was a very happy-go -lucky person.
"What's that you're reading, Sev?"
"Nothing" he hurriedly stuffed the book away, but not before Harry saw the title: The Dark Arts for minors. "So, you're from a muggle family? Do you know any magic?"
"No. well, I can do some card tricks-"
"No, I mean real magic." He pulled out his wand and a quill. "Wingardium leviosa!" Nothing happened. Snape looked embarrassed. "Hold on, let me try again. Wingardium
leviosa!" he scrunched up his face in concentration and the quill fluttered above their heads.
"Wow!" Lilly's green eyes sparkled with wonder and amazement. "That's incredible!"
Snape blushed, grinning.
Suddenly the scene dissolved and re-appeared as a corridor in Hogwarts. Students were walking by, some right through him, and Harry spotted a vibrant red head of hair next to a greasy black one. He followed his mother and Snape, who were chatting comfortably, outside to the Hogwarts grounds. The talked about their latest transfiguration class as they sat down on the grass and Snape pulled out a bag of sweets, offering Lilly one.
"Ooh, peppermint imps, my favourite" she said, taking one.
"You like peppermint imps, huh, Evans?" Harry hadn't noticed four first-year boys approach them, and he recognised them as James, Sirius, Remus and Peter Pettigrew. "James can be your pet imp, if you like" Sirius grinned.
"Excuse me?" Lilly blinked.
"He's got a question for ya, ain't ya Potter?" The other three sniggered.
"Shurrup, Siri" James muttered, and then turned to Lilly, grinning cheesily. "Wanna go out with me?" Snape looked outraged.
"Oh!" Lilly looked surprised "oh, I'm sorry, but, err, no." She said it politely enough.
James's smile faded slightly. "Why not?"
"Er, well, I'm sure you're really nice and all, but I hardly know you."
"Aww, c'mon! You can get to know me."
"Look, I'm really sorry, but-"
"Please! Just one chance!"
"Sorry, but no!"
"Go on! I'm really quite-"
"Are you deaf?" they all turned to Snape, whom they had been ignoring until now "She said no!"
"And who asked you, you little Slytherin?" James spat. He said Slytherin as though it was an insult. Snape puffed his chest out.
"So what if I'm a Slytherin?"
"It means you're nasty, and slimy, and greasy! You don't want to hang around him, Evans."
"Come on Severus, let's go." Lilly glared at James furiously.
"See you later, Snivellus!" said Sirius, and the others roared with laughter as they stalked away. Once again, the scene dissolved…Lilly and Snape were walking around the Hogwarts grounds again, there were little groups of friends scattered over the grass where they were walking.
"Oh, I forgot, Professor Mcgonagall wanted to see me!" Lilly moaned. "Get that spot over there, I'll see you in a bit."
Snape sat down by a tree by the lake, right next to the water. Harry joined him and looked around. A few yards away a group of giggly Slytherin girls were chatting, laughing at something a girl with long, blond hair had said, and in the opposite direction (Harry groaned), James and his friends had spotted Snape. Quietly, they creeped over to him and James whispered "Heyer Snivellus" before pushing him in the lake. It wasn't very deep, but Snape was soaked and the other boys laughed.
"What's going on here?" said a voice. Two of the Slytherin girls had come over. The one that had spoken was the blond girl. She looked about fourteen or fifteen, and was very pretty. Her skirt was shorter than the other girls, and the first three buttons were open on her shirt.
"Oh no!" Sirius groaned "go away Narcissa!" It was then that Harry recognised the girl: she was a teenage Narcissa Black; Malfoy's future mother. Sure enough, her face contorted into her trademark expression of having something nasty under her nose as he spoke.
"Oh, now, is that anyway to talk to your cousin?" she looked at Snape, who looked very embarrassed and stood up "Is this little twerp causing trouble, Sev?"
"Why don't you shut your fat mouth, Cissa!?" snarled Sirius.
"Careful" Narcissa flashed her prefect badge. James, Remus and Peter looked scared, but Sirius looked unafraid.
"Why have you got a prefect badge? You're not a prefect."
"Draws attention to my cleavage, don't you think?" she smirked at Snape. Her friend, who had the same pug face as Pansy Parkinson, shrieked with laughter. Snape, Remus, Peter and James turned very red, and Sirius looked revolted.
"Ugh! Narcissa, go away, you're embarrassing me!" Sirius whined. "Besides, we have some business to sort out."
"Oh, that's right." Narcissa, eyes flashing cruelly, turned to James. "That Evans girl rejected you, didn't she? So you're taking it out on Sev." James blushed. "I thought Gryffindors were brave? Four on one, how noble." She smiled nastily. "Hey, Siri, I wonder what Uncle Orion will say if I tell him you've been bullying?" She leant on Snape's shoulder.
"Why don't you go and snog Parkinson?"
"Oh, wake up, Sirius, I dumped him ages ago" Narcissa snapped, and her friend smirked.
"Yes, Black, even your feeble mind should have comprehended that" drawled a voice. Harry wondered what Malfoy was doing in Snape's memory, and why he could talk to them, but then realised that this was not Draco, but Lucius Malfoy. Like James was with Harry, Lucius was a mirror image of Draco with slight adjustments; his hair was longer than Draco's, his shoulders were broader and his voice slightly higher. Either side of him was a Crabbe or Goyle sized boy, though they were defiantly not Crabbe and Goyle's fathers.
"What are you doing here Malfoy?" growled Remus.
"Temper, Lupin, or I'll put you in detention." When they stared at him quizzically he held out his hand and Narcissa, a bit reluctantly, gave him his badge.
"C'mon" Sirius muttered to James, looking at Narcissa and Lucius, who were standing either side of Snape protectively. "It's not worth it." They slinked away. Narcissa's face softened as she turned back to Snape.
"They're just jerks, Sev."
"Yeah" Lucius leant against the tree, looking both lazy and superior at the same time. "If they bother you again, I'll make them clean out the girl's toilets" he smirked. Snape, Narcissa and her friend laughed, and Lucius's goons chuckled stupidly.
"Oh, that'd kill Sirius" cackled Narcissa.
"Haven't you got Potions now, Severus?"
"Oh, yeah. Uh, thanks" he beamed at them, turning slightly red as he smiled at Narcissa, and ran off.
"Cissa!" whispered her friend as they watched him go, with amusement on their faces "I think that kid fancies you!"
"Maybe" Narcissa's eyes glittered as Lucius casually swung an arm round her waist. "Poor thing doesn't know I'm taken." She entwined her fingers with his, and grinned, with an arrogant and boastful expression that suggested she thought herself better than everyone for having bagged such a boyfriend as Lucius Malfoy.
But her smirking face soon dissolved, and the next memory began. He was still in Hogwarts's grounds, but Snape and Lilly looked a year or two older. They were having a conversation again, but the sunlight was catching her hair and Snape was looking at her with a greedy expression in his eye.
"…And then she said- Sev? Sev, are you even paying attention?" said Lilly impatiently.
"Huh?" he replied dreamily.
"What's wrong with you? You're so…far away"
"Well, I…" he stopped, and pressed his lips to hers instead. Harry looked away. Snape had kissed his mother! He'd never live it down.
When their kiss broke, Snape smiled at her. But when he saw her shell-shocked face his smile dropped. They stared at each other in petrified silence, until Snape looked away.
"Sev?" said Lilly gently, putting a hand on his shoulder, but he flinched away, looking horrified with himself. "Sev, I'm really sorry, I just don't…"
There was a long, awkward silence. Snape looked crushed.
"We can still be friends, can't we?" said Lilly in a small voice. Snape paused, and then turned back to her.
"Yes" he whispered, trying to smile "sure we can." The bell rang, and they got up and walked to their next class in silence. When Lilly wasn't looking, Harry saw Snape's eyes darken with rage and disappointment.
The scene changed again, and this was a place Harry had only been once before: The Slytherin common room. It appeared to be empty, but Harry could hear someone sobbing and muttering, and when he looked to the darkest corner he saw Snape curled up. He was muttering under his breath and looked as though his birthday had been cancelled. He was lying on his side, staring into nothingness; a single tear rolled from his eye. Harry heard a creek from the stairs, and a pale, blond head peeped round.
"Narcissa!" Snape gasped, quickly wiping his tear away. Narcissa jumped the last three steps. Though it appeared to be late at night, she hadn't changed her uniform. She was taller, seeming to be in seventh year.
"Hi, Sev" she looked into his watery eyes "aww, have you been cwying?" she pouted, reminding Harry horribly of her sister Bellatrix. Snape turned red and looked away. "Still lusting after that mudblood?" she peered into the dim, dying fire thoughtfully.
"Don't call her a mudblood" Snape muttered, but it was so quiet Narcissa seemed not to hear it.
"Yes…" her eyes narrowed and she scowled "I can see why you find the little cow so… attractive." She flicked her hair back and put on a horrible, squeaky voice. "Ooh, fall down at my feet, I'm Evans, the Gryffindor princess!" she flounced over to Snape, who was avoiding her eye and muttering furiously, but it was inaudible. Narcissa Black's mouth curved into a crooked smile, and she leered at him through grey-blue eyes.
"I suppose she has some sense, rejecting my dozy cousin's best mate. How funny, a pureblood being rejected by a mudblood!" she cackled. Harry, who'd been starting to think he'd got the wrong picture about her when she was standing up for Snape, was now liking her even less then before.
Snape looked torn between anger and awe. Narcissa moved closer to Snape on the sofa, and he looked uncomfortable. "You know, Severus," she inched closer to him "You don't need that mudblood. There are girls much worthier of you" her face was slowly getting closer to his "and of purer blood." Snape looked amazed at how close she was. "Girls like me." She fluttered her eyelashes, and Snape closed his eyes, ready for the kiss. Narcissa smirked horribly, her eyes slits.
When it didn't come, Snape opened his eyes and turned red, looking furious with himself. Narcissa giggled. "Aww, sorry Sev, but I have a reputation to keep up." She ruffled his hair, discreetly wiping her hand on the sofa afterwards. "You shouldn't have a problem getting a Slytherin girlfriend your own age, though." She emphasized Slytherin.
"Yeah, that's because they're all as greasy as he is" thought Harry. Snape looked doubtful as she walked back to the staircase. "You know, Sev, if you were old enough to get me a case of Firewhisky from the three broomsticks, I'd go out with you in a tick." Snape beamed, looking smug, but he didn't see Narcissa roll her eyes and smirk unpleasantly.
The scene dissolved again. Harry was in the Great Hall, but there were lots of little desks instead of the four house tables. Harry's heart sank. He had seen this scene before. He watched his Father and his friends complete their O.W.Ls and go outside. He watched James and Sirius picking on Snape. He watched Lilly go to help, and Snape uttering that filthy word: mudblood.
Finally, the memory dissolved around him. This time he was in Dumbledore's office and a much older Snape was slumped in a chair, swaying tipsily. He looked as though he'd died a thousand deaths: his face was hollow, his cheeks tear-stained and there were dark bags under his eyes. He was holding a cup of tea, which sloped over him as he rocked.
"Dead" Snape choked to Dumbledore, who still had a tinge of auburn in his hair "you said… you… could…protect her." He was struggling to talk, and his whispers were slurred. He seemed a bit drunk.
"I gave them a fidelius charm. But Sirius Black has betrayed the Potters" said Dumbledore solemnly. Snape broke his teacup, sending the liquid down him. All signs of his previous drunkenness were abandoned.
"I'll kill that little rat!"
"If you hadn't told Voldemort about the prophecy none of this would have happened!"
With a wounded cry, Snape dropped to his knees and covered his head with his arms, lying face down. His shoulders shook violently but no sound escaped. Snape's fingers uncoiled and he clawed at the ground, looking simply pathetic as he wallowed in his own misery. Harry sniffed: this was indeed a powerful scene, a scene Harry could relate to.
"The Potter's son lives. Lilly died to save him."
"Why?" Snape bellowed suddenly, banging his fist on the ground hard enough to shatter his bones. "How could someone as beautiful… as precious and pure… how could she die to save that little brat? Why?! He'll be just like his father, I know it!"
"Lilly Potter loved little Harry!" roared Dumbledore "and you… you still love her."
"Yes!" wailed Snape "more than life itself! I tried to forget her. I followed Narcissa's advice, but I… I…" he looked directly at Dumbledore, his eyes filled with such a cutting sorrow Harry was surprised Dumbledore didn't flinch. "I wish I was dead."
Once again the scene changed, but Harry was in a place he'd never been before. It was dark, and Harry could see an enormous and magnificent manor silhouetted against the moon. The grounds around it had glistening fountains, and two pure white peacocks were strutting around majestically. At the far end was a pair of solid-gold looking gates, with a large M in the middle.
A shadowy figure had knocked at the grand oak doors, and Harry recognised it as Snape. Lucius Malfoy greeted him at the doors, and Harry stepped into Malfoy Manor. The hairs on the back of his neck rose. It was very weird to walk into the house were Draco Malfoy was raised. It was large and grand, and the colours were mainly green, gold and silver. Several expensive looking ornaments and statues were placed here and there. Harry and Snape followed Lucius through the corridor, until they came into a large living room. Narcissa was sitting on the luxury sofa. She looked much more elegant and refined than the flirtatious, arrogant teenager she had been.
There was a one-year-old boy at her feet, playing with some toy dragons, and Harry smirked in amusement as he realised he was looking at a baby Draco Malfoy. With a pang of hatred Harry saw that Bellatrix Lestrange was sitting opposite them, smirking as her nephew attacked some toy people with his toy dragon.
Harry flung himself on the Malfoy's sofa, grinning at the thought of their faces if they could see him, until Snape sat on his head.
"Bah!" Baby Draco cried, dumping his collection of dragons on Snape's lap.
"Oh, um… thank you, Draco…" Snape muttered, inspecting a Dragon. Draco clapped his sticky little hands happily.
"Draco! Sorry about that, Severus" Narcissa vanished the toys, making Draco squeal in protest. "Dobby, take this child to bed." Harry looked around for the elf, but his smile vanished when he saw how scared Dobby looked.
"Yes mistress" he squeaked, taking the baby's wrist.
"Be careful with him!" Narcissa snapped, her eyes slits. Dobby loosened his grip, whimpering, and walked out, Draco tottering along beside him.
"Now, what's this about a raid, Snape?" asked Bellatrix.
"The Aurors suspect you, Lucius. Ever since the Dark Lord's fall-"
"Do not speak of it!" Bellatrix hissed. "He has not fallen, he was merely stalled, and I for one-"
"Bella, I think we can all agree he has fallen" said Lucius gravely. Bellatrix looked simply furious. "The rumours are that that Potter boy used some incredible Dark Powers to overcome the Dark Lord, when he killed his mother." Snape winced horribly, but only Narcissa noticed. She said nothing as Lucius spoke again: "It will be easy enough to convince them I was under the imperious curse, Severus."
"But you have many dark objects. If they find them you will be put in Azkaban."
"I suspected this." He sighed. "I have placed all the obvious ones on that table over there" there was a large table at the far end of the room, and gruesome looking objects were placed on it. "What exactly do you suggest I do about them?"
But Harry wasn't listening to their conversation anymore: Baby Draco had escaped from Dobby and entered the back of the room through another door. He was looking at something shiny on the table: the cursed necklace his future self had used last year that had almost killed Katie Bell.
Harry shook Narcissa's shoulder, and then remembered she couldn't see, hear or feel him. "Now calm down, he doesn't die or he wouldn't have been around to annoy me all those years" Harry thought. Draco couldn't reach the necklace, and sat down, staring at it.
But he had caught Snape's eye too. He sat there watching the baby as the other three talked. Draco had noticed the table cloth hanging down, and tugged at it.
"Whoa!" Snape rushed over to the table and tugged Draco away, just as the necklace fell off the table and landed where he had been seconds ago.
"Draco!" shrieked Narcissa as he started crying.
"Good god! How did he get over there?" Lucius had turned even paler than usual.
"Wasn't that house-elf supposed to be looking after him?" said Bellatrix, joining Narcissa as she fussed over her son.
"I shall thrash that elf so much he'll regret the day he was born!" snarled Lucius viciously, loosening his belt. Harry felt enormously sorry for his elfish friend, but as there was nothing he could do he turned back to Snape. His expression was intriguing. He was staring at Narcissa as she cuddled a wailing Draco. There was a look of comprehension and understanding on his face.
Again the scene dissolved, and the next memory was of just outside Dumbledore's office. Snape looked almost as old as the present day Snape. He knocked on the door.
"Enter."
"You wanted to see me, sir?"
"Yes, Severus. Take a seat." Snape sat. "Firstly, I would like to thank you once again for treating my arm." He held up his withered arm and smiled pleasantly. "But, you see, I have knew information on Voldemort's plans."
Snape looked hungry. "How did you get them?"
"You remember Sirius?" Dumbledore pulled a smallish portrait out of a draw in his desk and Snape groaned loudly. It was the portrait Snape had bought Harry.
"Whew! It was hot in there! Oh" Sirius looked at Snape, his lip curling "Hi Snivelly."
Snape said nothing.
"By accident, it appears, Sirius has a portrait at Malfoy Manor. I have asked him to spy there for me ever since he died."
"Humph, right boring, too. All I've been doing is staring at that Draco kid's bedroom, ducking behind my tree every time he comes in."
Dumbledore ignored him. "Now, this new plot of Voldemort's involves… well, killing me."
Snape's eyebrows rose. "He thinks he can do it?"
"Oh, he's not doing it. Young Draco Malfoy is."
Snape sighed. "I feared he might do something like this." He shook his head. "He does not think Draco will succeed, this is punishment for Lucius's failure. He will be killed for sure."
"Then you must do it."
Snape spluttered and Sirius stared at him. "Wha- What?" Snape gasped.
"The only way to ensure Draco's life will be if I die."
"No!" most of the portraits, including Sirius, yelled.
Dumbledore shook his head at them. "No, I know that I am not long for this world" he said quietly "You may not be able to see it, but my bones grow weary and my organs weak. I can feel it."
"No. I will not be responsible for your death! There must be some other way" Snape hissed.
"Severus, I'm sorry to put such a burden on you, but I am going to die anyway, I may as well make it useful." Harry gaped at how calmly he discussed the subject of death, how well he accepted his own life's end. "Now, once you have killed me-"
"NO!"
"Severus, it is ether an old man's life, or a teenager's, and possibly his mother's"
"His mother's? Narcissa?"
"Oh, yes" Dumbledore's expression turned grave "I do believe you will be having a visit from her. If you refuse to aid Draco, she will help him herself. Her husband is in jail; after all, Draco's all she has left."
"I might hate her for all she's worth," piped in Sirius, "but if I know my cousin, she'll do anything to keep her precious little prince alive."
"It'll be Lilly and Harry all over again." Dumbledore muttered softly, his eyes shiny with tears. Snape looked helplessly from Dumbledore to Sirius's portrait.
"Ok" he breathed, voice thick "I feel like a dirty murderer, but I'll do it."
"Thank you, Severus." Dumbledore sounded satisfied. "That also puts you in Voldemort's good books. You understand about horcruxes, I imagine?"
"It is a subject I have read about once or twice, yes" Snape sighed heavily.
"Voldemort has seven." Snape gasped, almost sliding off his chair. "Now, I want you to retrieve one, in the form of Hufflepuff's cup, from the Lestrange's vault at Gringotts. Mad-eye Moody will help you in this mission. The instructions to get in the vault are…"
But Harry didn't hear the instructions, as the scene changed again.
This time Harry was in a dark, secluded room, and Snape had just thrust the door open. He was carrying a limp figure which he lay down on the bed. It was Narcissa Malfoy: she looked in a bad state, very frail, as if she had just been tortured. Snape bustled about with a cauldron, creating a steaming potion.
Narcissa's eyes fluttered open.
"Narcissa!" Snape rushed over to her, holding her hand delicately and taking her temperature.
"Lucius?" she whispered. Her eyes looked slightly unfocused.
"No. Severus." He was breathing his words, as though speaking too loudly would damage her somehow. "Where does it hurt?"
"Everywhere." She looked like she was in pain. Snape went to the sink and wrung out a cloth.
"Is Lucius ok?"
"Yes" Snape dabbed her forehead. "Upset by his actions, but physically fine."
"And Draco?"
"He's…very distressed."
"I didn't want him to see that."
"Why did you do it?"
Narcissa looked shifty. "Do what?"
"You and I both know it was Draco's choice to disobey the Dark Lord. Why did you say you told him to?"
"Do you think I'd have let him put Draco in the condition I'm in?" Snape said nothing, and gave the cauldron another stir. "Severus…he doesn't belong here. He never liked confinement and taking orders. Everyone thinks he's just like Lucius, but he's not. He's not."
"I know, I know."
"Severus… you're leaving soon."
Snape gasped. "How did you know?"
"You're clever. You've managed to convince even the Dark Lord of your loyalty. But I've seen you when they're abusing mudbloods. You still think of her." She smiled sadly, which Harry thought was odd. "Take Draco."
Snape sighed, shaking his head. "He's safer here. I'm not even sure they'll trust me again."
"Please, Sev!" She sat up slightly, wincing. "He'll only end up hurting himself if he stays here any longer!" she took Snape's hand, her eyes pleading. "I know if anyone can hide him, you can."
They spent a long time staring at each other, Snape chewing the inside of his cheek. Harry was getting weary, but then Snape opened his mouth.
"I will do all in my power to find Draco a hiding place" he murmured. Narcissa's whole body relaxed and a soft smile graced her features. "Now drink this. It'll put you in an enchanted sleep." He scooped a flagon of steaming potion and Narcissa sipped it. In seconds she was asleep.
Snape was looking at her with a mixture of sadness and worry. He slowly raised her hand, and brushed his lips softly against her fingers. He went to the door, took one last worried glance at her, and then stalked away. "Wow" thought Harry, looking at Narcissa's restful face. He had defiantly seen a new side to her. He hadn't really thought the Malfoys were the type of people who really… cared about each other.
The scene dissolved, but didn't reappear. Instead, Harry landed back in the Weasley's sitting room with a jolt. Snape was staring out the window, his hands behind his back. There was a long pause until he spoke.
"I hope you understood some of the things I showed you." He sighed, not turning from the window. "I loved your mother. God, I loved her." He rested his hands on the windowsill and bowed his head. "But she didn't love me."
Harry stood there awkwardly. He didn't know what to say. The man he had hated for years was pouring his heart and soul out; what could he say?
"I pleaded with the Dark Lord to spare her. He nearly murdered me when I asked him to let a muggle-born live. I was heart-broken when she died." He turned to face Harry, and he saw Snape's coal black eyes were sparkling with tears. "I regret that you'll never know her, because you couldn't know what kind of person she was unless you did." He sighed, staring out the window again. "She always had time for anybody, especially those who needed her help."
Harry smiled in spite of himself. Snape's description reminded him a lot of Hermione helping poor, clueless Neville Longbottom in potions. A warm, fluttering feeling filled his stomach to think Lilly had been as encouraging and patient as that.
"But, don't you love Narcissa Malfoy too?"
Snape froze, and rough chuckles creeped up his throat. "Yes it appears that way, doesn't it? I never loved her like I loved your mother. I was… infatuated with her. Well, you saw what she was like" the corners of Snape's mouth twitched "talented, popular and stunningly beautiful." But then Snape's smile dropped, and he looked deep in thought. "I don't know why, but she seemed to take to me as soon as I first talked to her in first year. She… helped me out a lot" by this Harry knew he meant she stood up for him against James, but was too embarrassed to say it "and when Lilly rejected me she helped me rebuild."
Harry stared. Was he talking about that scene between him and Narcissa where she had almost kissed him? Harry remembered her unpleasant smirk at the end. Snape had caught Harry's look out the corner of his eye.
"She might seem cruel to you, but at the time she helped me regain my confidence. She seemed to understand me, somehow, and she's kept my secret all these years."
"In other words" Harry raised an eyebrow "you do like her." Snape didn't reply, but gave Harry a shifty look. "If you like her so much, why don't you hate Malfoy like you hate me? He looks just as much like his father as I do mine" Harry frowned. And Snape's lip curled.
"Don't you understand anything?" he snapped, sounding much more like the old Snape. "Lucius was a friend to me; at least he treated me with respect! But your father" Snape's eye twitched "oh no, he couldn't leave me alone, could he? Always the bully, always picking on me, I didn't hear a nice word from him, not one!"
Harry's fists were shaking, but he forced himself to understand how Snape was feeling.
"And look at you" whispered Snape, his voice was suddenly racked with emotion. "You look just like him. It's only when I look at your eye's I see her." He stared out the window again. "Isn't it obvious I expected both you and Draco to act like your fathers as much as you look like them? Then again," Snape smirked "Lucius would never disobey the Dark Lord."
"Draco is not Lucius" Harry put a hand on the man's shoulder "and I'm not James."
*
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