A fic I wrote and posted on Livejournal for a series of stories inspired by the songs on Oasis's album "Definitely Maybe." No DH spoilers - it's set during HBP - and it's more Harry/Hermione friendship than anything, with slight romantic hints.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the lyrics to the Oasis song "Live Forever," which are in italics at the beginning and end.
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Maybe I just wanna fly
Wanna live, I don't wanna die
Maybe I just want to breathe
Maybe I just don't believe
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Hermione is reading her Arithmancy notes with her usual diligence when Harry enters the common room. He looks tired, disheveled; his hair is sticking up like it always does after a Quidditch practice. He throws his bag on the ground and flops down into the chair opposite her, rubbing his eyes wearily.
"Rough practice?" she asks.
"Terrible," he says. "I don't even want to think about it, it was so bad."
"I see." She flips the page absent-mindedly. "Where've you been? It's past midnight. Ron and Ginny have been back for hours."
"I stopped by the library," he replies. "I had to finish up a Charms essay. When Pince kicked me out I started to come back when I noticed Romilda Vane following me. It took me a while to lose her. Stop smirking like that, it's not funny."
"It's hilarious, actually."
"Filch almost caught me."
"If you didn't go gallivanting about the castle on such a regular basis that might actually worry me." She studies his face for a moment; he looks even more stressed than usual. "What's wrong? You look worried about something."
"I'm always worried about something, if you hadn't noticed. It has a name, too, and I'll give you a clue: it starts with a `v'."
"You know what I mean."
She doesn't have to elaborate any further to get her point across - such is the nature of their friendship. By now they're able to read each others' minds at will, and she's sure there has to be some brand of subconscious Legilimency that accounts for this.
"I dunno," he finally replies. "It's just Malfoy and Voldemort and school and everything. Nothing out of the ordinary. It's just been a rough day."
Hermione sets down her notes, and it's a testament to their friendship that she does so without a second thought. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"I dunno." There's a hint of a smirk on his face. "That's more of a girl thing, isn't it? Us guys, we don't go around talking about our feelings and all. It seems a bit daft."
"It's nice to have someone to vent to," she counters.
"Yeah."
Harry's silent for a while longer. Finally he speaks, abruptly and randomly.
"You know that you might die, right?"
She stares at him, taken off-guard. "I was expecting it, actually. It happens to most of us."
"Not that," he says, suddenly riled up. "I mean… this whole thing with Voldemort. You could very well die in this."
"Oh." She considers it for a moment. "Yes, I suppose I could."
"I mean, really, what are the chances that you and Ron and I all get through this unscathed?" He's on a roll now and has even gone so far to lurch forward in his seat, any tiredness in his demeanor gone. "He's going to go after both of you, and because you're both so close to me he's probably going to go after you first. And then even if we make it out all right someone else won't."
This gives her pause. She processes all of this for several seconds - Harry has obviously given this a good deal of thought.
"You were thinking about all of this today?" she asks, her voice firm but not threatening.
"Yeah." He rubs the back of his neck nervously and fidgets in his seat. "There was another attack today. On a Muggle family, too. I just got to thinking - what if that was your parents? Or the Weasleys? Or anyone, for that matter? What if that's you or Ron?"
Harry stops here, his voice so restrained that it seems the words just won't come out any more. She looks him over carefully before speaking.
"What about you? Aren't you scared if it's you?"
He shrugs. "Not really. I'm kind of resigned to it, to be frank with you."
"And haven't you thought that perhaps we're just as scared of losing you as you are of losing us?" she presses.
He says nothing.
"Harry, we realize fully the risks that come along with allying ourselves with you." She pushes the notes to the side entirely. Arithmancy is really quite easy, anyways. "We know that we could get killed, or you could get killed, or that everyone could get killed for that matter. That doesn't mean we shouldn't fight him, that we should just lie down. Whether you like it or not, Harry, we're with you until the end. You're not going to just get rid of us."
"I know," he says. "I appreciate it, I do. But…" He swallows and continues in a stronger voice. "I really can't fathom losing any of you because of our friendship. I mean, I realize I'm going to die, and probably soon, but I can't watch my friends die. Everyone around me has a tendency to kick the bucket prematurely, if you hadn't noticed."
"I'm not going anywhere, Harry." She gets up at this point and walks over to him, gripping his hand tightly. "I promise. You're stuck with me."
He grins. "Great, just what I need: you nagging me all the time."
"You wouldn't know what to do without me," she says, smiling.
"Too right I wouldn't." He has lightened up considerably by this point, and he looks up suddenly. "That reminds me. I really could use your help at one part of my essay. I'm completely stuck."
"Very well. Let me see it."
They work together for some time on this, and later Hermione has returned to her Arithmancy notes while Harry continues his work on the essay. Occasionally he looks up to ask her something or she glances at him to tell him something that she has just remembered, but for the most part they are quiet. She is silently memorizing a theorem when she looks over at him and realizes he has fallen asleep.
Despite herself, Hermione smiles. She gets up as quietly as she can and approaches him. He looks peaceful for once; his dreams, at least, are stress-free. She conjures a blanket with her wand and places it lightly on him, and his eyes open just a little.
"Hermione," he mumbles incoherently.
"Yes," she whispers. "Don't worry about going upstairs. I'll make sure no one bothers you."
"Mmm." She tucks him in, and his eyes close once more. She thinks he is back asleep once more when another mutter escapes his lips.
"I love you, Hermione."
His words are barely discernable, yet Hermione stops in her tracks. She wonders if he has ever told anyone he loved them. He has been emotionally restrained all of his life - who else would he have said it to?
She looks back to him. His expression hasn't changed a bit, and she knows he doesn't even realize what he's saying any more. She smiles again.
"I know, Harry." She tucks him in a bit more and traces his cheek with her fingertips. "Now go to sleep. You need your rest."
He doesn't say anything, and she knows he is asleep once more. She leans in and kisses him on the cheek lightly, right where her fingers had just been, and bends back up. He doesn't deserve any of this. He's been through too much.
She realizes how late it was but finds she is not tired at all. She takes her seat across from him and picks her notes back up once more. It appears she will be studying for a while longer.
"Goodnight, Harry," she says softly.
She will keep vigil for as long as she must and move him up to his room if need be. It will be tricky moving him without waking him, but she knows she can (and must) do it. For once, Harry Potter is not going to be bothered by anything or anyone, and Hermione Granger is making damn sure of it.
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Maybe you're the same as me
We see things they'll never see
You and I are gonna live forever
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